Chocolate Selection Box
by Dr.Lancaster
Summary: A series of one-shots based on Kate/ Caroline. AU.
1. Swagger

**A/N:** As most, if not all, of these one-shots will entirely ignore a large part of the plot (Kate's death), I have taken a few other creative licenses as well. Sometimes Flora exists, sometimes she doesn't. In this first one, she does not.

I only recently started watching (why do I always come to ships too late?!), so please PM or comment with any mistakes I might have made. Also, if anyone is interested in writing Caroline/Kate with me, please let me know because I _adore_ writingjoint fics!

* * *

It hit Kate as she was readying herself for one of the dreaded staff meetings where everyone argued and spoke over the top of each other but got nothing done. There was a little chatter, but when Caroline walked into the room it silenced immediately. The blonde barely even glanced up from the file she was scanning and yet she could command a group of grown-ups into silence. Not that this was what struck Kate. No, she knew that already. She admired that already. Today, it was the slight swagger with which Caroline walked that she noticed. She had watched her hundreds of times before, loved the way her hips moved, but it was only that moment she knew the word for it. A swagger. She was married to someone who had a swagger.

A squeak from Kate's lips made Caroline's eyes lift from the paper, a frown creasing her forehead when she saw her cover her smile with her hand and shake her head gently. Caroline's eyes stayed on her wife for a moment before she cleared her throat and began the meeting.

* * *

As Kate had expected, the staff meeting mostly involved people speaking over one another, trying to get their point across, their issue solved ahead of everyone else's. Today, though, it didn't bother her at all. Today, the first day back after the summer holiday, Kate had come back a different person. Today, for the first time, she had come to school as a wife. A wife to the glorious woman commanding this meeting, quietening the loud ones, encouraging those who were hesitant to speak.

She'd seen this before, of course. Probably thousands of times. But this time it felt different. This time she knew the woman loved her, wanted to be with her forever. This time, she felt a strange, perfect contentness with everything.

* * *

"Kate." When Kate glanced over her shoulder, she found Caroline looking over her glasses at her. "Would you mind staying behind for a moment?"

Turning to offer the colleague she'd been talking to an apologetic smile, Kate returned to the seat she'd been in, watching Caroline shuffle the papers in front of her until the last member of staff had left the room and shut the door.

"Would you mind telling me what is so amusing?" Caroline glanced up at her wife, looking over the top of her glasses again, her voice in that neutral tone that Kate was still not quite sure of.

Kate bit her bottom lip to stop herself smiling. "Nothing."

"I see. Nothing made you giggle behind your hand for the last forty minutes?" Caroline tilted her head slightly, and Kate could swear she saw the corner of her mouth twitch.

"Is it…Do you think it would be entirely inappropriate if I was to say I was imagining making love to you while you sit in that chair?"

"Very inappropriate." Caroline finally removed her glasses. "But I fail to see how that was making you giggle."

"I don't _giggle."_

"Oh, you do, Darling."

The use of the term of endearment made Kate confident that they were definitely not Doctor and Teacher anymore, but partners.

"I don't. It was making me laugh because it's just struck me that I am married to you. the head teacher." Another giggle escaped her lips.

"You do. That didn't strike you, oh, I don't know, 2 months ago when we got married?" Caroline finally shut the file in front of her and then rested her glasses on top.

"I don't. And then it was Kate marrying Caroline, but I've just realised Kate is now married to Dr. Elliot, too." Kate pushed herself to her feet and walked towards her wife, picking up her glasses and instead put them into Caroline's pocket. She was forever forgetting where she put them.

"You do. And it's Dr McKenzie-Dawson these days, actually."

Kate bit her lip again but couldn't stop the smile pulling at her lips as she rested her backside against the table. "Would it be entirely inappropriate for Kate to kiss Caroline right now?"

"I'm sure no one would blink an eyelid if a married couple gave one another a kiss goodbye." Caroline offered, a smile finally gracing her lips.

"Well, I don't think the type of kiss I want to give you would be anything close to a goodbye kiss, so I'd better keep it for later." Kate pushed herself up from the table and turned towards the door. "You'll still be done by 5?"

"Tease."

"Takes one to know one. I know you know what that swagger does to me." Kate offered as she reached the door. "And I don't giggle!"

"You do!" Caroline called out after her. Kate could hear the laugh in her voice and it made her smile grow.

Life was tough, and they'd had their fair share of issues, but in moment's like that, Kate knew it was entirely worth it.


	2. Mardy Cow

For some unknown reason, Caroline had woken in a mood. Well actually, she knew too bloody well why she was in a mood, but it wasn't helping ease anything at all. Poor Lawrence, sitting grumpily at the breakfast bar and then in the passenger seat, had been given the brunt of it and the instant the car pulled up at school he was out the door without a backwards glance. Sighing, Caroline moved back against the headrest and shut her eyes, willing a cheery smile to appear on her face to give at least some semblance to her stern but kind reputation.

"Hello, stranger."

Caroline's head turned to the side and her eyes drew open, but no words left her mouth immediately. Instead, she just gazed at the woman who stood beside her open door. The woman looked back, a smile pulling gently at her lips. It was the bell blaring that finally made Caroline sigh some words. "You are a sight for sore eyes."

"Was your weekend really that bad?" Kate tilted her eyes, her smile fading a little as concern creased her forehead.

That long hoped for smile now rose on Caroline's face and she found herself shaking her head gently. "No, not really. I just missed you."

"I was only gone for 2 nights! And you were the one who booked me on that language conference." Kate pointed out, though her smile returned, eyes shining as she unclicked Caroline's belt for her and then stepped to the side so she could exit the car.

Sighing again, Caroline swung her legs out of the vehicle and stood (in such an elegant yet sexy way that Kate was sure she'd never tire of watching it). "Yes, but that was when we weren't talking, and I _thought_ you'd say 'oh Caroline, how thoughtful and lovely of you, please come back with me to my house to make love'."

Kate let out a laugh that made the few straggling students jump. "Really?"

"Well, not perhaps in quite that way." Caroline admitted, taking her bag from the backseat, along with a stack of files. "How was it?"

"The conference itself was really interesting, there was a lot of discussion on different teaching techniques that help certain types of students." Kate fell into step beside the blonde, glancing sideways at her. "Although I must admit I was interrupted several times by phone calls from your son."

"William?" Caroline paused.

"Lawrence, actually. Asking me to, I quote, "please come home". Apparently, you're a…what was it? A mardy cow when I'm not around." Kate gave an almost triumphant smile before she shot ahead to hold the door open.

Caroline muttered to herself about her son spending too much time listening to Gillian as she swept into the entrance, any student nearby falling silent as she passed them on the way to her office. "Well, if you must know, it wasn't the lack of your actual presence that made me a 'mardy cow', lovely as it is. It was who you were on the conference with."

"Jealous?" Kate tapped Caroline with her elbow, then almost fell into her when Caroline stopped abruptly.

"Should I be?"

Kate's smile softened now and she reached out a hand before remembering where she was and instead moved it behind her back to hold her other one tightly. "No. Can you walk a bit faster in those shoes?"

"Why?" Caroline huffed, annoyed that she'd admitted so easily what had been playing on her mind all bloody weekend.

"Because I want to kiss you and tell you what I did aside from work on this weekend, neither of which are quite appropriate for the hallways." Kate increased her pace, and after a few seconds of watching her wife, Caroline rushed after her.

* * *

"I feel like a teenager."

"Really? You definitely feel like a woman to me." Kate breathed, one hand on Caroline's cheek and the other trapped beneath her shirt pressed to warm skin with a racing heart underneath.

Caroline considered a reply, but instead captured Kate's lips again, pressing her a little more firmly against the door.

"B-Beverley will be here any minute." Kate reminded the blonde, though she didn't pull away, one hand brushing Caroline's cheek and jaw gently.

The headmistress, however, seemed to have just slightly more control and finally moved her hands from Kate and pressed them either side of her on the door instead. "I'm sorry."

Kate smiled softly, though unsure what exactly she was apologising for. Making an assumption, she ventured. "It's okay. It's understandable, with what..what happened with John?" When Caroline gave no response, she felt she'd understood correctly. "But I would never. And especially not with Gavin! Can you imagine being in the middle of wild, passionate love and saying Oh, Gavin!"

Caroline let out a laugh that instantly eased the tension of the last couple of days, leaving her wondering about quite what she'd been worrying about. "I have a meeting with him later and now that's all I'll be thinking about."

"Oh, it gets worse. He told me he's dating a woman called Griselda. Imagine their poor neighbours. Oh, Gavin! OH GRISELDA!"

By the time Beverley brought the tea in, Caroline was sat at her desk still smiling broadly to herself at the image of herself and Kate giggling together like the school girls they so often reprimanded.

She should probably do something for Lawrence to apologise for being a mardy cow. In fact, she might send him to a language class on eloquent swearing as a treat. Smirking to herself, Caroline thanked her PA, sat quietly for a moment and then began her day's work.


	3. Breast is Best

A/N: Thank you so much for the reviews! I had 4 stories all ready to post, then if there is a demand I'm happy to write more :)

* * *

Caroline had been cursing herself all morning for being unable to concentrate on her work, first thinking about what Kate was doing, then wondering how Flora was. Their baby's first day at child care, Kate's first day back at work… but the more she wished the day would go quickly so she could see them again, the slower it seemed to go.

It was therefore some relief when she entered her office after the first assembly of the term to find Kate sat behind her desk with an apologetic smile.

"Sorry, I know I was supposed to be at the assembly hearing your no doubt inspiring speech, but I felt like I was about to burst." Kate went to stand from Caroline's seat, but the blonde motioned for her to stay where she was and continued hanging up her robes.

"It was very inspiring. Please try not to get any on that funding portfolio. I know how deadly that pair can be." Caroline motioned to Kate's breasts, one currently in a pump and the other barely hidden in her bra.

Kate was unable to suppress the smile that pulled at her lips, though she still nibbled at her bottom lip before asking. "How is your eye, by the way?"

Caroline looked at her wife over her glasses for a moment to decide whether she was being made fun of before she perched herself on the edge of her desk. "20/20 vision. Almost superhuman. I can probably see in the dark now."

Kate laughed and reached out to hit Caroline's leg gently. They'd been attempting to make love for the first time since Flora's rather traumatic birth, but it had been a few hours since their daughter had been fed, and when she let out a cry from the next room, poor Caroline who'd just been attending to her wife's needs was spurted with breast milk right into her eye. Once Kate had recovered from her mortification, she'd laughed so hard Caroline thought she might burst a blood vessel.

The pair in the office grew quiet, both thinking of their daughter.

Caroline was the first to break the silence, asking quietly, "Do you think Flora is okay?"

"…They said they'd call if anything at all happens. She slept well last night, so I'm sure she's fine." Kate offered, unconvinced. She'd tried not to think about her daughter today, for she was determined to get back into a routine since all the upset.

"…I've got half an hour before my next meeting…"

"Do you think we could make it there and back in time?" Kate looked up hopefully.

"Worth a try. "Caroline jumped up, simultaneously grabbing her car keys and rushing for the door, Kate in tow. They made it almost through the door before Caroline remembered something and turned back abruptly. "..You should probably…" She motioned to Kate's chest, pump still attached.

Tutting and blushing at the same time, Kate unlatched the pump and pushed it into her wife's hands to cover herself up, but unfortunately for both of them, Kate's milk supply was heavy and a second later Caroline felt a sudden warmth hit her shirt. Without looking down, she shut her eyes in dismay.

Not a word was spoken as Kate dabbed apologetically at the stain on her wife's top, though Caroline could feel her shaking with suppressed laughter.

"Mum! We're at school!" Came the sudden cry of her youngest son's voice.

Eye's flying open, Caroline turned towards the doorway. "We're not. I-"

Without letting her finish, Lawrence slammed the door and stormed away.

Caroline turned back to Kate with a rueful smile and lifted her hands to finish buttoning up Kate's shirt. "Your breasts don't half cause me some trouble, darling."

"I'll go after him, you go and see Flora. And get another shirt."

"Might have to get a set to keep in the office at this rate." Caroline grumbled.

* * *

Half an hour later, just after she'd assigned her class some reading, Kate received a message from Caroline- _Our daughter is as bad as you!_ Complete with a photo of Flora held safely in her arms, a milk drunk smile on her face and Caroline's shirt wet with baby spit up.

Kate couldn't help but smile at the photo, glancing up at her class before replying. _Meeting?_

 _Re-scheduled for an hour. Putting our little cherub to sleep with talk on chemistry, instead. Our son?_ Texting one handed as she rocked Flora gently, she thought nothing of those last two words, but the receiver's chest ached with something- happiness. Acceptance. Home.

 _He said sorry for slamming the door and asked me to keep my_ baby feeders _, away at school. Then he asked if he could help with dinner tonight because he wants to get into your good books so you'll say yes to Angus coming over on Friday night._

Caroline wrinkled her nose at the message, remembering Lawrence's previous cooking attempts, and was about to reply when another message came through.

 _I told him if he swapped making dinner with changing one dirty nappy a day until Friday, he'd have a deal. He agreed. I hope that's okay?_

Caroline nibbled her lip to stop herself smiling. _Fine with me. I'm due in Halifax for the night. Enjoy two teenagers and a baby, Madre._

Kate's eyes shut with dismay, for she'd completely forgotten those plans. _Do you think he will change it to another night?_

 _Caroline?_

 _Caroline!_

 _I know you're reading these, you know. And I know you're smirking._

 _I hate you._

 _I don't._

 _But I will on Friday._

 _…_ _I won't._

 _Caroline!_

 _God, you infuriate me sometimes! I can see your bloody smirk and you're not even in the room with me._

"Mrs McKenzie-Dawson, a word if I may?"

Kate jumped, looking guiltily up at the doorway to find Caroline, complete with smirk and new shirt. She stood silently and walked out of the room, waiting for Caroline to shut the door behind her.

"Kate."

"Caroline." Kate looked anywhere but at her wife and that infernal smirk.

"…It's not this Friday I'm going, it's next."

Slowly, very slowly, Kate turned to look at the blonde, scowling at the smirk. "I hate you."

"No, you don't."

"I don't." Kate nodded miserably. It was only when the click of Caroline's heels had gone half way down the corridor that Kate realised exactly what Caroline's words meant. "YOU'LL BE HOME THIS FRIDAY!"

Caroline smiled over her shoulder.

"I LOVE YOU. GOD. god. I Should not have yelled that. Oh god. I have been away too long. Oh god. Caroline? Caroline!" Caroline's laughter followed Kate back into the classroom.


	4. Two very different hangovers

Caroline knew she had a hangover before she was even properly awake. Everything ached, her mouth was dry, and she was lying diagonally across the bed- always a sure sign she'd drunk too much the night before.

Still, it was a Sunday, so she could sleep in. Perhaps sleep, glorious sleep, would heal her.

"Mama."

 _Oh god._

Caroline forced dry, red eyes to open and squinted into the blinding sunlight to see a small child hovering by the side of the bed. "Hello, sweetheart."

"..It's 11am. Look." An arm was held out, bravely showing the digital watch Caroline had been so against her child getting.

"Your father-"

"He's gone out. Ages ago. I tried to make Lawrence toast, but he didn't like it, he wants cereal."

Caroline shut her eyes and put her head back down on the pillow. John had agreed she could go out last night for her best friends birthday. She even distinctly remembered asking him during a fumbled attempt at love making when she got home that he would be around this morning.

"Mama?"

Caroline drew in a deep breath and lifted herself up, running a hand through her hair. "Sorry, sweetheart. If your dad leaves another time, you can come and wake me up, okay?"

She hadn't known then, of course. She hadn't known that it would be the first of countless times John would let her down, would let their sons down. The memory was firmly stuck in her mind, though, of a 3 year old Lawrence sitting in the kitchen crying because he was hungry, an only slightly older William trying his best to calm his brother.

* * *

Caroline was dying. She was absolutely sure of it. Her whole body ached and her head felt like it was made of lead. On second thought, she was lying diagonally across the bed and her mouth felt like a ducks arse, as Gillian had so kindly told her would be the case if she drank any more of Alan's home-made whisky. Perhaps not dying, then, Perhaps just royally hung over.

Still, it was a Sunday, so she could sleep in. Perhaps sleep, glorious sleep, would heal her.

"Mama."

 _Oh god._

Caroline forced dry, red eyes to open and squinted into the blinding sunlight to see a small child hovering by the side of the bed. "Hello, sweetheart."

"...It's 11am. Look." A small hand pointed at the digital alarm clock by the bed, though turning her head made Caroline's unsettled stomach tremor dangerously.

"Your mummy-"

"She's making you breakfast in bed. She told me not to wake you up, but I had to!"

Caroline managed a faint smile, resting her head back on the pillow. "Why's that, sweetheart?"

Flora leaned forward and whispered almost conspiratorially. "I used the big girl toilet to poop!"

Caroline laughed softly and drew in a deep breath before pushing herself up slowly. "Wow! Did you tell your mummy?"

"Nope, Mama first. Mummy says Mama loves poop."

Caroline laughed harder at this, remembering capable Kate blanching at her first poopy nappy. "And did you wipe yourself?"

"...Oops."

"Mm, thought not. Come on!" Caroline pushed herself up and carried her daughter into the bathroom under one arm, both giggling.

...

"Sorry, I did try to keep her away." Kate offered apologetically when she entered the bedroom with breakfast on a tray to find her wife sat up, a pants free child now beside her in bed with Caroline's glasses on the tip of her nose as she pretended to read the newspaper.

"It's fine." Caroline smiled, reaching out until Kate was close enough to pull near and give a one armed leg hug to. "We had a poop situation."

Kate wrinkled her nose as she sat on the edge of the bed and put a cup of coffee into her wife's very willing grip. "Bad one?"

"Those new pants didn't come out well from the ordeal."

"How is it that you probably drank enough to blind a Russian soldier last night and yet I'm the one sitting here queasy?" Kate grumbled, slipping some paracetamol into a willing hand, which were swallowed and quickly chased by coffee.

"I didn't drink that much."

"You came home at 2am, waking the whole house with your rendition of some terrible 80s song, then once I finally managed to get this one to sleep you tried to accost me in the hallway and have your wicked way with me."

"…I don't _accost_ people."

"You accosted me. She did, didn't she, Flora?"

"Costed." Flora agreed readily, eyeing the toast smothered in jam.

"Ah, but you were asleep so you wouldn't know, would you sweetheart?"

"Was sleep." Flora agreed, nodding earnestly. "Was sleeping, mummy."

"Just because you're the favourite mother, doesn't mean you can use her to get your own way. You. Accosted. Me." Kate punctuated the words with kisses before she finally reached down for a slice of toast, biting into it as she settled herself down on the bed. As Caroline considered her next words, Kate leant forward to whisper to her, "Will you accost me again tonight, please?"

"Would be my pleasure."

What a difference 20 years and love can make.


	5. Memories- Part 1

A/N: Thank you so much for the reviews! As people are enjoying them, here is a two parter I wrote in half an hour (!). Someone please write with me or I may go mad lol.

* * *

A strange lightness came over her afterwards, a feeling she hadn't had in weeks. The ache in her chest was, briefly at least, gone, and her hands were steady once more. Hands that now ran gently over the edge of the desk in her office. The desk on which Kate had so often perched since their first meeting. Caroline had always motioned to the chair opposite hers where everyone else always sat, but Kate was never just anyone else. Instead, she would perch on the edge of the desk beside Caroline and listen patiently to whatever she had to say, legs folded at the ankles. Depending on her mood, Caroline realised too late how Kate altered her behaviour so often to match Caroline's own mood, she would either keep her arms crossed or she'd reach out and take one of Caroline's, stroking it calmly with her fingers. Only twice had she taken the chair opposite, once on their first meeting and once when she'd told Caroline she was pregnant. An all too familiar lump rose in Caroline's throat at that memory, and with one last brush of her hand over polished wood, she left the room, leaving behind the pain that haunted it, but also the happy memories.

Next was the staffroom, Kate's pigeonhole. When they finally, properly began dating, Caroline would leave things in there every so often, just so Kate would know she was thinking of her. All that was inside now was a single wilted flower, its colour leached and its thorns softened. Caroline was about to leave when she noticed the piece of cardboard sticking out of the edge of the pigeonhole. Curious fingers reached for it, but when the blonde saw the words, the cardboard floated to the floor and Caroline fled the room.

 _When we come back to school, you'll be my wife._

Last was the chapel. Caroline had always felt at peace in the room with the high sweeping ceilings, the stained-glass windows and the large oak seats. It had been her sanctuary so often when life was troubling her. Now it too held ghosts. It was in this room that Kate had found sanctuary, too, ridding herself of worries as she played the organ, the notes soaring into the rafters in such an empty space. Caroline hadn't intended to intrude, but she had been walking past troubled by her own demons and had been drawn inside. She had sat quietly at the back the first time, but gradually she'd moved closer. It took 3 weeks for Kate to acknowledge she had noticed the quiet presence. Caroline had been mortified. Kate had kissed her.

Now, Caroline ran her fingers over the leather covered seat of the organ and sat briefly, looking out over the room. Perhaps this room held no real ghosts for her. Only good memories. She would stay here for a while longer.

* * *

Caroline's eyes lifted to view the building before her. It had the same sweeping ceiling and high roof as the chapel, the same beautiful stained-glass windows and large oak front doors. She'd hoped it might bring her a sense of calm, but it didn't. Nothing did anymore. Well, perhaps one thing. Caroline looked down at the baby in her arms, watching her intently.

"Shall we go and see your mummy?"

Flora just stared up at her with the same clear, certain eyes that flipped Caroline's stomach the first time she'd realised it was the same look Kate so often used to give her.

Taking a deep breath, Caroline took to the steps.


	6. Memories- Part 2

A/N: I shan't keep you in suspenders any longer. Enjoy part 2!

* * *

"You'd think being a teacher I'd have some gold stars to give over-achieving pupils."

"I'd like more than a bloody gold star, thank you very much."

Caroline smiled, sitting against the wall on a long wooden beam as she surveyed the room in front of her. Large, almost as large as the school chapel, and so bright.

"Kate, focus." The physiotherapist stood in front of her, impinging the view of her wife and daughter momentarily. She was stood between two wooden bars, hands holding tightly to them as she made the long, slow progress towards the end.

"Perhaps we'd be more helpful standing here?" Caroline stood and walked to the end of the bars, holding Flora up in her arms so she could see her mother, making her kick her legs happily.

Kate smiled, beginning her determined progress once more.

* * *

An hour later, Caroline decided to broach the subject. Kate had finished physiotherapy and they'd returned to her room, both settling onto the large bed. Caroline lay on her side with her head on her wife's shoulder as both of them watched Flora drink hungrily from her bottle, stopping every so often to shut her eyes sleepily before waking to drink again.

"I've quit."

"Quit what?" Kate asked mildly, smiling at her daughter. It took a few seconds for Caroline's words to sink in, and then suddenly she turned her head to look at her. "Quit what, Caroline?"

"…I couldn't stand being there anymore Kate. Not with you here. And not leaving Flora. You wanted her to have a stay at home mum, at least for a few months." Caroline dared not look at her wife and instead reached out to brush a few curls from Flora's forehead.

"You love that job."

"I loved that job because it was all I had, and it was where I could go to get away from the mess of my life. But I don't need a place to hide anymore, Kate. I'm happy. I have my beautiful wife, my two lovely boys and my perfect daughter. I don't need it anymore."

Kate was quiet for a while then, watching as Caroline rubbed Flora's stomach soothingly. "Is it because of me?" The words were whispered, vulnerable. Scared.

Caroline forced herself up then, turning to look her wife in the eyes. "No."

"If I wasn't in here-"

"We agreed no if's, Kate. Remember? Our family all agreed to no if's anymore. Even Lawrence! You are here. What happened happened and we're dealing with it. Pretty soon you'll be able to come home and-" Caroline paused here, wondering if she should bring up the other thing she'd been thinking of. "...Lawrence has been accepted to university."

"Really?" Kate's smile lit up her face, her worry forgotten for the moment at least.

Caroline nodded, smiling faintly. "Don't tell him I told you. He wanted to come up here and tell you himself tonight."

"Which one is it? What's he going to do?"

Caroline toyed with the fabric of the blanket beneath them for a second before she replied. "One near William. Not anywhere so good, but-"

"That doesn't matter! Honestly, you can be a snob sometimes, Caroline! He got in and that's just…just fantastic news!"

Caroline's smile widened now. She should have known Kate would say that. "The thing is…there's a school down there that needs a new head teacher. Not until next year, when their current one retires. It's a good school, about the same size as Sulgrave, large grounds…"

"..You want to move there?" Kate asked gently when Caroline fell quiet.

"I think we could all do with a change, Kate. After everything. And by then, you'll be up and about and able to look after Flora. Then if and when you want to go back to work, I'll fire the head of languages and give you a promotion." Caroline looked up with a smile, and was happily surprised to find it mirrored on her wife's face.

"What about your mother?" Was all she asked.

"Bugger my mother."

"Beverley?"

"…The thing is, Beverley…Well, Beverley would like to come too. Her daughter lives down there. I can't very well sack the current PA, but I spoke to the man I'm..I would be taking over from if we all are okay with the idea, and he seems to think his PA will be leaving soon to move to Halifax, of all places." Caroline reached out to help Kate move Flora in her arms so she could burp her, but Kate quickly battered her hands away and did it herself.

"You've really thought this over, haven't you?"

"You're not mad?"

"Mad? God no! Away from your mother, away from John, away from all the memories I think both of us would rather forget. I think it's a fantastic idea!" Kate smiled widely, reaching out her spare hand to grasp Caroline's tightly to assure her it really was a good idea.

"…We did…did have good memories here too though, didn't we?"

"Countless, but they're in here." Kate reached out and touched above Caroline's heart briefly before reaching up to stroke her cheek. "But what are you going to do in the mean time to stop yourself going mad? You know idleness drives you crazy."

"Well, I thought Flora and I could set up our own little office in here. That way we can sort out housing and packing and everything from a sort of...McKenzie-Dawson headquarters. What do you think?"

"I'm hardly going to say no to having my two favourite girls with me all day, am I?!" Kate laughed. "What time is Lawrence coming in?"

"Not for another couple of hours, wh-" Caroline was cut off by Kate kissing her gently.

* * *

When Lawrence came in a couple of hours later, Flora was in her pram fast asleep just like her mothers, who were curled up together on the bed with Caroline's head still nestled against Kate's neck. He could also see a suspicious smudge of his mother's lipstick on Kate's lips.

"Gross." Was all he muttered as he sat heavily in the armchair next to his sister, but a smile still pulled at his lips.


	7. Reunion

A/N: Thanks once more for the lovely reviews, so glad you're enjoying these.

* * *

An email about a reunion of old college pals had caused their first big argument as a married couple. At first Caroline had spoken through clenched teeth with a tight smile that if Greg would be there, she would not be attending. Then later she had actually told Kate in no uncertain terms that she would not be going either, like she owned her. Kate had been furious. She'd even told Caroline that partners were not invited anyway, because they were planning on having an orgy and swapping god knows how many STDs, and in fact hopefully Kate might get pregnant again. Lawrence, stood in the door way to witness the unusual sight of an angry Kate, had sniggered that this, which only fanned the flames for Caroline.

That argument had lasted until precisely 12am when a sleepless Kate had heard Caroline burst into tears from the spare bedroom. Though reluctant to be the one to back down, she knew how rare it was for Caroline to cry and found herself making her way down the hall towards the master bedroom. Once inside, she held her wife as she cried solidly for half an hour. In a sleepy, snuffling way, she had admitted she was scared Kate was going to leave her. When Kate had asked why, a litany of reasons had come tumbling out- seeing her old friend's uncomplicated lives with normal partners; because Caroline was bossy; because Caroline had put milk in Kate's coffee that morning even though Kate took it black; because Greg would be there and she would fall hopelessly in love with him because he was Flora's father; because Kate knew how jealous Caroline had been of the easy laughter she'd shared with Greg; because Caroline couldn't make her pregnant.

Kate had remained silent through all of this, had expected to still feel annoyed, but all she felt was a laugh bubbling up from her very toes. Caroline had been aghast when it finally burst out, she'd pulled back and stared at her wife in confusion.

"Flora hasn't been sleeping through the night like you told me, has she? You've been getting up to do the feeds to help me, haven't you?" Caroline's eyes welling up with tears answered her question quickly enough. "You're tired, sweetheart. Go to sleep, we will talk in the morning."

"But-"

"If Greg is going, we won't, okay?" Kate had often wondered if Caroline's dislike of Greg was due to jealousy, and now she finally had her answer a hidden place in her heart finally softened towards her wife. "You daft woman. You can't work full time and not sleep all night. Go to sleep."

"You're not going to leave me?" Caroline sniffled like a 3-year-old.

"Not ever. Sleep."

"..I think maybe I drank too much wine with dinner."

"Mm, I think maybe you did too. Go to sleep."

"But-"

"Not leaving you, not going if Greg is, not angry with you, I knew you were bossy before I married you and it didn't change my mind, don't care that you made my coffee wrong, don't envy anyone with an uncomplicated life, not going to fall in love with anyone else." Kate listed off her answers to Caroline's worries, softening her voice for the last answer. "And it's probably for the best you can't make me pregnant. The amount of good old fashioned fucking we do its all i can do to walk the day afterwards sometimes!"

Caroline snorted both at the response and Miss McKenzie swearing. She giggled herself quietly to sleep in her wife's arms.

* * *

Now they were at the reunion, Kate could see that some of Caroline's worry had not, perhaps, been misplaced.

Greg replied to her email to say he wouldn't be attending, so Kate had accepted the invite, correcting her name on the list to her married name and adding Caroline as her plus one. It seemed, however, that hardly anyone else had come with a plus one, and Kate was distinctly sure she'd just seen Lizzie exit the disabled toilet adjusting her dress with Nigel in tow. Married Nigel.

They were all sat around a large table, alcohol flowing freely, and it seemed the reunion was more based on one-upping each other and pairing off with old flames than it was the happy discussion of lives that Kate had expected.

Caroline had tried to involve herself in the conversation, and Kate had tried to draw her in, but every time she seemed to be relegated to the quiet end of the table with Jessica's ancient husband Sir someone and a couple of housewives.

Kate was enjoying seeing her old friends, she did enjoy the catching up aspect and the laughter at old, fond memories, but her eyes kept straying to Caroline, sat looking miserable. She knew the blonde was probably remembering that disastrous weekend away when she'd met Greg, just as Kate herself was. She hoped though that Caroline wouldn't worry Kate would be angry with her for not involving herself this time.

* * *

"Have you got children?"

"Hmm?" Caroline looked up from toying with her chicken to find the woman beside her in a hideous floral dress was looking at her intently. "Oh, ah, 3."

The woman smiled, leaning forward a little. She felt quite out of her depth at this sort of thing, but she could talk children forever. "Boys or girls? How old?"

"Two boys, 19 and 16, and a 6 month old daughter." Caroline responded, waiting for the woman to whip her phone out and request to swap numbers so they could go on play dates or something equally as horrible.

"You carried them all? Oh that's wonderful. And I'm sure Katherine appreciates you staying at home with them all! Was it…IVF?" The woman whispered the last words, glancing about as though someone might overhear her saying something naughty.

Caroline was alright with Flora's conception now. Well, mostly. But it was still a sore point, particularly on a day like today. Instead of replying, Caroline gave her best headmistress smile and pushed her chair back. "Would you excuse me for a moment?" Without waiting for a response, she disappeared into the courtyard, eager for some fresh air.

She jumped when a voice broke through her thoughts a few seconds later. "What a bunch of-"

"Lovely people?" Caroline offered lightly.

"Jerks!" Kate ended, coming to a stop before her wife to rest her forehead against the blonde's shoulder. "Why did I want to come?"

"To catch up with old friends and talk about old times?"

"Well apparently I didn't get the memo that school reunions are about old grudges, embarrassing moments and pairing off with your old boyfriend." Kate grumbled, sliding her arms inside Caroline's coat and wrapping them around the waist she came across before nestling into her wife.

"Still, there was free booze." Caroline pointed out, resting her chin in her wife's head and placing warm hands on her lower back to pull her impossibly closer. "And I've made a friend. Anna. We're going to have play dates and go ugly dress shopping together with our adorable babies."

Kate laughed softly into Caroline's shirt. "Perhaps you two could go to baby yoga at the park on Wednesday mornings together."

"Mm, that's a thought. I was considering asking her if she wants to go halves in a double pram. If we're going to go everywhere together, it would make sense." Caroline dropped a kiss to Kate's hair.

"Well it's good to know my little wifey will have a friend while I go golfing with Tim, Jacob and Frank and talk about how much bigger their penises are now than when they flashed me in 1st year."

Caroline laugher filled the air and made Kate smile into her. "Looks like we've found out who the man of the relationship is, then. Anna will be pleased. Should I nip in and tell her, then go home and get your slippers in front of the fire for you?"

Kate pulled back a little and surveyed Caroline's face with a slight pout as she thought of kissing her before asking, "How about you just go inside and get our things so we can get the hell out of here, wifey."

"Anything you ask, husband." Caroline dropped a kiss to Kate's nose and then stood back to her full height, turning towards the restaurant entrance.

"By god my wife has a magnificent arse." Kate complimented, followed by a firm smack on aforementioned arse. A firm _resounding_ smack, it turned out, because everyone inside had gone quiet for speeches.

As all eyes turned their way, Caroline forced a smile to her lips and said through clenched teeth, "I think it's definitely time to go now."

* * *

"Well I don't see what's so funny." Celia had shrugged as a bent double Caroline regaled the story.

"Because-" Kate began from where she was perched on the arm of the couch feeding Flora.

"Don't, Kate. I can't breathe." Caroline wheezed as she sat down, her abdomen aching from laughing so hard.

"But why is it funny?" Celia persisted.

"Caroline will pop round tomorrow with her new friend Anna and tell you all about it." Kate offered with a grin, nudging her wife with her foot as Caroline's laughter was set off again.

"Tomorrow? Haven't you got school?"

"Oh, she's quit. Wants to stay at home and dust things."

"You've quit?! What is so amusing?!" Celia demanded, frowning at her daughter and daughter-in-law.

"Sorry, Celia." Kate grinned. "It's nothing, really. We just get…we both went to very formal colleges who seem to have trouble compartmentalising us at dos like tonight. Usually it's me who gets to talk babies all night like I haven't a brain in my head for anything else, but tonight Caroline…Well, you can hardly imagine her in a frilly pinny, can you?"

"What's wrong with a frilly pinny?" Celia wanted to know.

When Caroline shot to her feet, rummaged in a drew for a moment and then triumphantly produced a frilly pinny, Kate was lost. Celia was forced to jump forward and take the baby from her arms before she collapsed back on the settee in fits of laughter.

"I think your mummies may be a little drunk, sweetheart. Let your gran finish this bottle with you and take you to bed, hmm?" Celia glanced towards the woman in the room one last time before she walked out, shutting the door firmly behind her.


	8. Christmas

If Kate had been asked years ago what her idea of heaven was, it would have been this. She'd loved her parents, but it was just the three of them and she had always longed for a big family. As a young adult she had dreamt of being part of a huge family, sitting by the fire on Christmas day when all of them were so full they could barely move. There'd be children running around laughing and a husband by her side.

Kate smile at this thought now, looking down at the hand that was linked with her own, stroking its thumb over hers. Definitely not a man's hand.

"What are you smiling at?" A sleepy, content voice whispered softly in her ear.

"Just happy." Kate replied, dropping a gentle kiss to blonde locks.

"Only you, Kate McKenzie-Dawson, could be happy after a day like today." Caroline observed. "Christmas dinner was almost burnt to a crisp, John argued with everyone and then drank himself into a stupor, mother was annoyed at god knows what all day, and I'm pretty sure Gillian and Robbie snuck off to have sex in our bed."

Kate wrinkled her nose at this. "Really?"

"Mm." Caroline nuzzled Kate's neck for a moment before turning her gaze back to the fireplace.

"..But you know what else happened today? Lawrence actually brought me a Christmas present from his own money with a handwritten label on it that said 'Love Lawrence'. John referred to me as your wife and himself as your ex-husband. Celia tried explaining to Calamity that while she is her step-grandmother, she is Flora's actual grandmother, and-"

"Did she?" Caroline lifted her head now to look at her wife properly.

"Mm-hmm. I caught the three of them having a serious conversation in the garden because both the girls wanted to sit on her knee first and she said only one of them could and Flora should be first." Kate smiled, brushing some hair from her wife's face.

"Blimey." Was all Caroline could reply, eyes turning to the armchair in which her mother was sat now, Calamity asleep sprawled over her lap. "What did Flora say?"

"That she didn't even care if Celia was her real grandmother, because she could just pick one anyone, like she picked her second mummy, and if she picked she would pick Celia."

Caroline laughed softly, looking to where Flora was sat between her brothers trying desperately to stay awake. "Bet mum loved that. And she picked me, did she?"

"Mm, apparently I had nothing to do with that, it was all her. I'm just along for the ride."

"...Are you calling me a bike?"

All three children stopped flicking through the book William held to look towards the two women as they giggled to themselves.

They were sat curled up together in front of the fire, and William couldn't help but smile at how relaxed his mother looked, how right it was for her to be in Kate's arms.

"Whas funny?" Flora asked loudly into the quiet room, making everyone jump.

"Nothing, sweetheart." Caroline offered with a smile, shutting her eyes when she heard Flora jump down from the couch and march towards them. When she opened them again, the girl was stood before her with hands on her hips and a frown.

"Whas funny? Not sposed to be laughing, we sposed to be sleeping!"

"She definitely takes after you, mum. Grumpy." Lawrence offered with a chuckle.

"The amount of times Caroline used to give me that look as a child. Usually when she needed to go to the toilet and I asked her to wait."

"Yes, THANK YOU mother." Caroline huffed as she stood reluctantly up from her wife's embrace. "I think perhaps it's time we took you upstairs for a proper nap, young lady."

Flora shook her head, turning to look at Kate with a pout instead. "No sleep today."

Kate nibbled her lip to stop herself joining in on the teasing, for she had seen that look on Caroline's face, too. "You need to sleep now or you'll miss out on the very special dessert your mummy has made for later."

"Burnt christmas cake?" Lawrence asked, earning a snigger from his brother.

"What is this, tease Caroline day?! It wasn't MY fault that the food burnt, I'm not the only adult in this house!" Caroline mirrored Flora's stance without realising, hands on hips and a scowl on her face, making the others begin to laugh. "What? What's funny?!"

Huffing with indignation for both of them, Flora took her mummy's hand and led her from the room at a stomp. "Less go sleep."

"Yes, we shall go and have a wonderful sleep and leave these silly people to make dinner alone!" Caroline nodded as she followed her daughter up the stairs.

She had to admit though when she heard the room burst out laughing below them, a smile did light her face.


	9. A Cunning Linguist

A/N: I'm so glad you're all enjoying these! If you have anything specific you'd like to read, or any favourite songs or words you'd like me to work in etc, please let me know and I will see what I can do!

* * *

Another day, another meeting, each one more boring than the last. Today was a teacher discussion on trouble students and how best to help them. Caroline didn't need to be there, not really, but tradition stated head teacher should be there, and Sulgrave was nothing if not traditional. Zoning out of the discussion, the blonde instead took the time to survey the people at the table. She liked this crop of teachers overall. One or two irritated her, but she wouldn't exactly say she disliked them. On the whole they seemed to respect her, and if Kate's brief mentions of staffroom conversations were anything to go by they all seemed to get on well. At the thought of Kate, she glanced her way, interest piqued by the fact Kate had a small smile on her face and appeared to be doodling things on her notepad rather than writing actual notes.

Biting her lip to stop herself smiling, Caroline quietly pulled her phone towards her and typed out a message before looking back up at her wife. _What are you writing?_

A second later, Kate's phone gave a loud ping and the brunette blushed deeply, giving an apologetic smile to the man who had stopped his speech.

"We prefer if phones are kept silent in meetings." Caroline provided in a neutral voice, looking more over Kate's shoulder than she did at her face.

"Sorry." Kate whispered the word, pulling her phone toward her to turn it off. As the male teacher kept speaking, she realised it was Caroline who had messaged her and shot her a look to find the blonde avoiding her gaze, a smirk on her lips.

Caroline could feel Kate's glare on her but continued to give studious attention to the painting on the wall until her phone vibrated with a reply. A photo of Kate's notepad with the words _OH, HOW VERY PROFESSIONAL!_ underlined. It was another word that Caroline noticed first, however.

 _Are you writing my name on your notepad?_

Kate checked the photo and blushed when she realised you could still see the outline of her words from the previous page. Sliding deeper into her chair, Kate challenged _And if I was?_

 _Snap._ Was all Caroline replied, waiting to catch her wife's eye before she held up her own notepad, Kate's name doodled all over it.

* * *

"Oh, I can see you made copious notes." Caroline nodded, turning away so a giggling Kate could not take the notepad from her grip. Pushing her glasses up, Caroline read aloud "Millie may benefit from more…Caroline time….was that one intentional?"

"Give it back." Kate laughed, finally managing to grab the edge only to have it pulled from her grip once more. "Yours isn't any better."

"Oh, I know Darling, but I wasn't supposed to be making notes and you were!" Caroline moved to sit on the windowsill of her now empty office. "Jacob will need to Caroline McKenzie-Dawson his extracurricular activities as they are impinging on his..does that say what I think it says?!"

Kate finally managed to pull the paper from her wife's hand and gave a huff, though she was still smiling. "I can't help it if you're a distraction."

"Is that why you burnt dinner last night?" Caroline caught the edge of Kate's cardigan and pulled her closer.

"I burnt dinner last night because you suddenly wanted to practice your French alphabet." Kate smirked, pulling Caroline's glasses off before folding them up for her.

"I think I'm improving." The blonde nodded, fingers finding their way under the purple shirt to touch warm, soft skin.

"Well I wouldn't know because your words were quite muffled by my thighs pressing your head closer to where I wanted it as you teased me without mercy." Kate observed. "But I would say, if asked at a parent teacher interview that you are a _very_ diligent student."

Mm, thank you. But perhaps don't tell my mother I'm a cunning linguist." Caroline smirked.

"Oh, it wasn't your linguist skills I was referring to, it was your-" Kate leant forward to whisper into her wife's ear, making Caroline give an involuntary shiver as her eyes flickered shut before blowing a shaking breath from her nose.

"Is it time to go home yet?"

"It's only 10am." Kate smiled, well aware of the effects her words were having.

"..Is there perhaps an empty broom closet or something we could-"

"If you think I am having sex in a broom closet at 7 months pregnant, you are very mistaken. You'll have to wait until we get home, I'm afraid." Kate dropped a chaste kiss to pouting lips before she pulled away.

"Well could you _please_ try to be a little less attractive for the rest of the school day, and _please_ do not use that word again."

"What word?" Kate walked backwards slowly, a grin on her face.

"Don't make me say it."

"Do you mean-"

"Don't you dare, McKenzie."

"Will I get detention if I do?" Kate offered lightly before she left the room.

Caroline puffed another burst of air out of her nose, trying to think of what to do to get rid of the pooling heat between her legs before her next meeting.

A second later her phone vibrated as she received a message. "KATE!"


	10. Adoration

Caroline used to hate Michael Dobson. These days she just felt sorry for him.

He would never know what it was like to see Kate's face light up when he walked into the staffroom unexpectedly when she was having a bad day.

* * *

 _It was never exactly agreed or discussed, it just was. Every Friday at 2pm, Kate would come into Caroline's office and they'd talk about the work week so that their weekend would, hopefully, be free of school. Kate had come into the office every Friday at 2pm for the last year. Today, though, it was exactly 2.15pm and Caroline was alone in her office._

 _She'd tried telling herself it wasn't like they'd made plans, Kate might be busy elsewhere. She'd checked her phone and there was no message, but it wasn't as though they'd agreed to meet._

 _Caroline made it to precisely 2.19pm before she got to her feet._

 _"_ _You've got an appointment in 10 minutes." Beverley reminded her, surprised to see the blonde out of her office._

 _"_ _I know, I ah…I was just going to go and make a coffee."_

 _"_ _I can make you one." Beverley went to stand._

 _"_ _No! No, it's okay. I'll go. Can I make you one?"_

 _As Caroline made her way to the staffroom a few moments later, she chastised herself. There would have been nothing wrong with telling Beverly she was just going to look for her wife._

 _She entered the staffroom hopefully, but her steps faltered when she saw Kat sat on the couch, Michael Dobson sat on the edge of the seat in front of her with a hand on her knee._

 _Michael was the first to notice Caroline, and Kate must have seen the annoyance cross his face, for she turned her head. Caroline couldn't help but smile when Kate's teary face lit up, a hand reaching out for her. She was quickly by her wife's side, taking her hand. "What's happened?"_

 _Kate sniffed, shaking her head a little because she didn't want to voice it, edging closer to Caroline but hesitant to curl into her in view of the staff._

 _"_ _Her dad." Michael finally offered begrudgingly. "She got a voicemail from the home he's in, but she's too scared to call them back."_

 _Caroline didn't speak for a moment, just brushed her finger over Kate's hand. "…Do you want me to call?"_

 _Kate nodded her head, eyes clouding with tears again._

 _"_ _Will…Will they tell me anything? I'm not-"_

 _"_ _I put you down as an emergency contact." Kate sniffed._

 _"_ _Okay." Caroline released Kate's hand to pull her closer into a one armed hug as she dialled the number on her phone._

 _As it turned out, Kate's father was having a good day and they'd hoped Kate might bring Flora in to meet her grandfather._

* * *

He would never know what it was like to have Kate curled sleepily in his arms after a long day.

* * *

 _Caroline was resting against the arm of the couch, legs curled beneath her, and Kate was at her side with her head resting on Caroline's hip._

 _"_ _1930s."_

 _"_ _Hmm?" The fingers Caroline had been threading through her wife's hair stilled._

 _"_ _The answer to the question." Kate motioned to the TV._

 _"_ _What was the question?"_

 _"…_ _Don't remember." Kate smiled, glancing up at Caroline._

 _"_ _We should go to bed." Caroline smiled back._

 _"_ _Ten more minutes." Kate offered, eyes looking back at the tv. They'd not had any time alone all week, and she knew as soon as they got to bed they'd be fast asleep._

 _"_ _Ten more minutes." Caroline agreed, her fingers resuming their massage._

* * *

He would never know what it was like to return home late at night to find Kate curled up with their daughter in their bed, both giggling wildly.

* * *

 _Gillian had offered her a bed for the night, for it was late once their dinner had finished, but Caroline was eager to get home and start her the weekend with her family, so at midnight she'd began the drive home._

 _The house was quiet when she arrived, the windows dark. From habit she walked around to the check all the doors were shut and then made her weary way up the stairs. It was midway up that she had reason to pause, a delighted giggle floating down to her from one of the rooms._

 _A smile lit her face and her steps had renewed vigour as she made her way up the rest of the stairs. She'd hoped Flora might be awake, giving her some time with her daughter, but it turned out to be something even better, for when Caroline pushed open the master bedroom door she found Kate sitting on the bed with Flora on her lap trying to read to her as the little girl giggled._

 _Kate smiled up at Caroline, beckoning her closer as she began to read again. "Spot says…"_

 _"_ _WOOF!" Flora yelled before falling sideways with the strength of her laughter._

 _"_ _What's so funny?" Caroline asked with a laugh, heels coming off before she sat beside her wife and daughter._

 _"_ _I've no idea." Kate giggled. "Flora, tell mummy what spot says."_

 _"_ _WOOF!" Flora repeated, tears now coming out of her eyes as she chuckled._

 _Tne minutes later, the bed was full of people. Caroline, Kate, William, Lawrence and Flora, the little girl sat in the middle and delighting in the fact that everyone was laughing along with her._

 _"_ _WOOF!"_

* * *

So she cut him a bit of slack.

She moved him to a classroom further from Kate's, she stopped pairing them for yard duty. She thought she was helping.

She thought not being around Kate would help.

But she also knew how intoxicating it was to have someone look at you with adoration, how powerful it made you feel. She knew her thoughts were not only for Michael.

In the end it was Gilian who finally put Caroline's mind at ease.

She'd made herself official photographer one Christmas and had forwarded Caroline the photos a couple of days later. There were what seemed like hundreds of candid photos that made Caroline smile, but the very last one was her favourite. In it, Kate was laughing at something and Caroline was almost out of shot watching her, a look of complete adoration on her face.


	11. Ogre

A/N: Thank you so much for all the reviews! I'm running out of steam a bit now, so if you have any story ideas please let me know!

* * *

Caroline grumbled when the alarm went off, hitting the small snooze button with an accuracy that denoted hundreds if not thousands of snoozes. She rolled onto her back and was about to go back to sleep again when she remembered what today was.

"Good morning."

A voice as smooth as honey floated into her ear and Caroline couldn't stop the smile that pulled at her lips. "Is today really the day I think it is?"

"It is." Kate confirmed, placing an arm over her wife's middle before resting her head on her chest.

"The first day of school holidays! Holiday's that stretch endlessly in front of me with no meetings or paperwork or tepid cups of forgotten tea." Caroline sighed happily, her head turning to drop a kiss to brunette locks.

"Well, I did actually think you meant that today was the first day of summer holiday's we've ever spent as a married couple." Kate pointed out, cool fingers slipping below Caroline's white singlet.

"Mm, aren't you simple." The blonde offered fondly as she pulled her wife a little closer.

"I've got to take my happiness where I can, living with an ogre like you." Kate smiled, drawing patterns with her fingertips on warm skin.

"Not an ogre. I'm more of a...bear who likes to roar a lot but is actually really cuddly." Caroline offered sleepily.

"Lawrence told me the other day that bears kill more people than guns."

"Mm, well, I didn't say I wasn't a murderous bear. But you're safe from that because I quite like you."

"Quite like?"

"It's 6am, quite like is a compliment."

Kate gave a gentle chuckled and dropped a kiss to Caroline's shoulder. "I quite like you, too."

"I suppose that comes in handy, this mutual quite liking, considering we're married." Caroline turned her face to nuzzle her nose against soft curls.

"Perhaps we've found the solution to wedded bliss." Kate agreed, yawning gently.

"I could write a research paper on it."

"Mm, but when will you be writing this paper?"

"When school starts back?"

"Good girl." Kate's eyes shut and they both lay there in silence for several minutes before she asked quietly, "Are you still awake?"

"No." Caroline responded slowly.

"You will be in a minute."

"Why?"

Just as Caroline finished the word, her alarm went off again. Kate watched with silent laughter as her wife flailed, pulling the plug from its socket before launching the alarm across the room.

"Ogre."

"Teddy Bear."

"My ogre."

Caroline's face softened and she turned her face to kiss her wife gently. "Your ogre. Who is going back to sleep."

"Sleep, or…"

Caroline nibbled her lip for a moment before deciding. "Fuck it, I'm awake now."

Kate gave a loud laugh as Caroline pulled the covers over their heads.


	12. Holiday Snapshots

A/N: Thank you vicelstem for this idea! I'm trying to keep these around 1000 words if possible so these are only snapshots of a holiday, but if anyone likes a particular one-shot a lot, I am happy to extend it elsewhere.

* * *

"Are you teaching?"

"No, I'm in the staffroom, why?" Kate found herself smiling down at her cup of tea remembering what had happened the last time they'd had this conversation.

Caroline was apparently remembering the same thing, for Kate could hear the smile in her voice as she replied, "I've twenty minutes free and Lawrence has requested both of us to be present so we ca decide on a holiday destination."

"He..both of us? Me?"

"Well, yes, you do generally count as one half of 'us'." Caroline laughed as she entered the main school building. "He's-"

"But he did actually specify me? He didn't say you, and then you're just…just…assuming me too?"

"Kate, I hardly think he's going to want to plan a trip without your input when he's already asked if you'd like to come."

"No. No, I suppose not." Kate's tense shoulders began to relax a little as she remembered a blushing Lawrence asking somewhat hopefully if she would be accompanying them on their family holiday. Apparently Caroline preferred the relaxing life, and since their visit to an amusement park months ago, Lawrence had began to rather appreciate Kate's more adventurous side. "Right, well, I'll just finish making my cup of tea and then I'll be along."

"I love tea." Came Caroline's voice, but this time from right behind her and not from the phone, a hand reaching out to pick up Kate's freshly made tea in her favourite mug.

Before Kate had a chance to grab it back, Caroline was already half way across the room, sashaying in a way she knew Kate loved. Huffing to herself, Kate grabbed another tea bag.

…

"Why didn't you say something?"

"He was so excited!"

"He would have been excited even if we'd just spent the summer in Halifax delivering lambs, Kate. There was no need to put yourself through this."

"I'm not putting myself through anything, I'll be fine. Absolutely fine."

Caroline looked at the woman sat at her side in the airport lounge, already pale and looking more terrified by the second. "…Are you sure?"

"Yep." Kate nodded, trying not to look at the huge plane waiting outside the window.

"What's wrong with Kate?" Lawrence asked as he dropped himself down onto the floor in front of his mother's seat.

"Nothing." Came from Kate.

"She doesn't like flying." Caroline replied, taking the offered coffee cup from William as he arrived, having been left to carry everything by his brother.

"Why didn't you say something? We could have gone somewhere else." Lawrence pointed out with a casual shrug.

"Told you."

"Not helping, Caroline." Kate replied through clenched teeth.

…

If possible, Caroline loved her youngest son even more after their flight. He had somehow convinced Kate he needed help with his French and Kate had spent the entire flight trying to help him with the verbs and nouns that Caroline was sure he'd mastered a year earlier with his French tutor.

Whatever added affection for Lawrence was lost, however, when she saw the hotel he had picked. William had picked last year, so she had grudgingly agreed that Lawrence should pick this years.

"Well." Was all Kate offered as she came to a stop beside her girlfriend, looking up at the large building before them.

"I've made a terrible mistake." Caroline nodded to herself.

"This looks amazing, mum!" Lawrence cried as he looked over the fence towards the huge waterslides adorning the land that wasn't being used for mini-golf and god knows what else.

"…Did you actually look at this place before you agreed?" William asked as he looked warily towards a couple of overly orange tanned people walking past.

"I didn't have time."

"…I'm sure it will be fine. The room looked amazing." Kate took her suitcase handle with one hand and Caroline's hand in the other before walking through the front doors.

…

"I don't know how you got so sunburnt, William. You were only out for an hour yesterday afternoon and you had suncream on." Caroline sighed when 2 days later she rubbed after sun lotion on her son's back.

"Lawrence thought it would be hilarious to put tanning lotion in the bottle instead." Her eldest spoke miserably.

"…where is Lawrence, anyway?"

"He and Kate went for a swim."

"Those two are inseparable these days." Caroline sighed, but couldn't help a smile tugging at her lips. "I'll tell you what, if those two are going to be off doing crazy things today, why don't you and I go out? Just the two of us. I know there's a museum not far from here, and then we can see if we can find the café you told me about."

"That sounds great!" William smiled now, too.

…

"I don't understand this. How is this possible?"

"Are we going to keep going over and over this, or can we have dinner?" Kate gave an amused smile as she watched Caroline look around the room in amazement.

"..Did you know?"

"Not a clue. Is there any point in us being here if all you're going to do is stare at the décor?"

"..I'm just surprised. It's so…"

"Thoughtful?"

"Un-Lawrence-like."

"Well, how about instead of wondering about his motives, we just enjoy this romantic dinner he has organised for us?"

"..You think he had ulterior motives?"

"Caroline!"

…

Caroline decided that this holiday was probably her favourite holiday ever. She'd spent a lot of it alone with William who she barely got to see at home anymore, and Lawrence and Kate were finally getting on like a house on fire. Her youngest son had even taken the initiative of booking the couple a romantic dinner at a lovely restaurant on their final night.

Maybe he did have ulterior motives, maybe they'd get back to find the apartment burnt down or full of drunk teenagers, but in this very moment Caroline didn't care a jot.

Right now, the stars were shining brightly in the sky, the breeze was still warm and sweet and fresh, and Kate was in her arms as they danced together in an empty street, music from somewhere nearby filtering down to them.

"I'm happy."

Kate pulled herself back just a little so she could at Caroline's face, a smile already on her lips.

"I'm so happy, Kate."

Lifting a hand, the brunette wiped away a few stray tears from pink cheeks before she leant forward to capture her girlfriend's lips with her own.


	13. Dirty Dreams

Her fingers gripped the crisp white sheets tightly, back arching as she fought against the feeling that was beginning to tingle in her toes.

"Relax." The word was whispered in her ear and a second later a cry left her lips.

"WAKE UP!"

Caroline sat up in bed, breathing heavily as she looked around, completely bewildered.

"Are you alright?" Lawrence stood at the end of the bed looking concerned. Sun was just beginning to peek through the blinds and was throwing shadows all over the large bedroom, making it seem a little sinister to a boy with a vivid imagination.

"Ah..F-Fine. Fine." Caroline nodded, trying to shake off the lingering sleep, heart still racing.

"You were calling out in your sleep. Were you having a bad dream?"

Caroline let out a shaking breath, squinting into the dusty morning. "Something like that."

Lawrence studied her in silence for much longer than necessary, but just as she was about to snap at him he asked, "Do you want me to make you a coffee?"

* * *

"Are you alright?"

"Why is everyone suddenly so interested in my wellbeing?!" Caroline snapped.

A year ago Kate might have apologised at that moment, or just left the room, but now all she did was cock her head. "Got out of bed on the wrong side this morning?"

"What does that expression even mean."

"Romans thought getting out of bed on the left side was bad luck."

"I wasn't actually asking."

"I know." Kate walked further into the room, nursing a mug of coffee between her hands. "Do you want to talk about it?"

"Not particularly." Caroline kept her eyes on her paperwork, tutting quietly as Kate rested her bum against the desk.

"William called me this morning and asked if he could email me his French essay to check."

"Really. How fascinating. Don't you have work to do?"

"Nope."

"Well I do, so if you don't mind…"

"Have you had a dirty dream again?" Caroline's huff and attempt to push Kate away from the desk answered her question and made the brunette smile. "It was your idea to take things slowly."

"Yes, it was. And it's working very well."

"Mm, well, it's working very well in the sense that you are much more able to talk about your feelings and are very comfortable about being in a relationship with a woman, but perhaps it's not working so well for your hormones."

"I haven't got _hormones_. What I do have is a lot of paperwork, so if you don't mind." Caroline tried to edge Kate away once more.

"Was it the dream with the-"

"KATE! OUT. NOW."

"Oh, I like it when you're bossy." Kate smirked as she stood up. "If I was to tell you I'd be home by 4…"

"I'd tell you I'd be at your house by 2.55 and I'm starting at 3 whether you're there or not."

"See you at 2.55 then, boss." Kate grinned as she left the room.

Caroline managed to write only a couple of words before she too began to smile, shaking her head at herself.


	14. Firsts

A/N: Thanks to a guest reviewer for this idea- first anniversary with flashbacks!

* * *

 **FIRST MEETING**

 _The first time their eyes met Caroline could barely breathe. When most people looked at her, it was with trepidation or even outright fear. Only a handful of people had even looked at her with love. This look wasn't of love, though. How could it be, when they'd only just looked at each other for the very first time. This felt like something more powerful. This felt like she could be seen, like body and soul were completely naked and on view. And then a smile. A smile that said it's okay. A smile that said I see it all and I accept it. I understand._

 _Caroline found herself shivering when she realised the woman had spoken to her. Thankfully Beverly came to her rescue, smiling widely. "You'll have to excuse Dr. Elliot, she's just been in a four-hour meeting about which tree they should plant to replace the last one."_

 _A laugh. The most glorious laugh Caroline had ever heard. There was nothing hidden behind that laugh, it was completely pure._

 _"That sounds fascinating."_

 _Talk, Caroline! "Fascinating might be a little ambitious a word. Can Beverley get you a tea or coffee before we start?"_

 _"No, thank you. I'm nervous enough without adding caffeine to the mix!" The woman smiled, and Caroline found she too was smiling. When the smile dropped, so did Caroline's. "Not that I mean talking to people makes me nervous. I'm completely at ease in front of a classroom. I'm just always worried I'll end up with coffee spilt down my front rambling in a job interview. Oh dear, I'm rambling now, aren't I?"_

 _Caroline found herself smiling again. A genuine smile. "Come through to my office then. I'll try not to be too frightening."_

 _…_

 _The interviews usually lasted about twenty minutes to half an hour, but this one went for over an hour. Caroline knew Beverley would want to be getting home, that she too should be getting home, but every time she asked a question she thought of another._

 _When Caroline finally managed to wrap up, she gave the spiel about how the interviewee would hear from the school within the next seven days. The woman had seemed a little disappointed by that, and Caroline found she couldn't stand seeing the expressive face sad. "Ms. McKenzie?"_

 _Hand on the doorknob, Kate turned back to the blonde behind the desk._

 _"…It's customary for the board to read over things to give official approval before new staff members are chosen. However, I can say that I don't think you'll need to invest in anymore new shirts."_

 _"I…pardon?"_

 _"You needn't worry about spilling coffee on your shirt in anymore interviews."_

 _"Wh..oh! OH!" Kate gave a wide smile, which Caroline found herself mirroring once more. "Thank you, Dr. Elliot! I…thank you! You don't know what this means to me!"_

 _"Just do me proud."_

 _"I will. And Dr. Elliot? You didn't frighten me one bit."_

 _Caroline found herself looking at the doorway with a smile long after Ms. McKenzie had departed._

* * *

 **FIRST KISS**

 _Every time they met at work, and that was as often as Caroline could make it happen, Kate seemed so upbeat. She was always smiling, always ready with a kind word or a reassurance. She even offered these to Caroline herself, someone who most people believed needed nothing of the sort. The blonde often found herself seeking out the language teacher just to get a friendly smile._

 _It was this belief about Kate that made Caroline even more concerned than she might have been when she entered her office after a long meeting in the library to find Kate sat by the window in tears._

 _As soon as she strode through the door Kate was on her feet, wiping hopelessly at the tears that kept falling. "I'm sorry. I didn't know where else to go and I couldn't seem to stop crying."_

 _"What's the matter?" Caroline's voice was soft, gentle, giving no recriminations as she shut the door and with it shut the world out. This only seemed to make Kate's tears fall harder, and not for the first-time Caroline chastised herself for never being able to say the right thing in these situations._

 _"It's silly. You'll think it's silly." Kate waved her hands hopelessly._

 _Caroline was more surprised than Kate when she reached out and took those hands in her own, holding them safe, steady. "I won't."_

 _Kate sniffed now and seemed to be studying blue eyes for any hint of something she didn't like. Caroline was relieved she didn't seem to find anything. "My house was broken in to last night."_

 _"Last night? Were you home? Are you okay?!"_

 _Kate looked touched by Caroline's concern and her tears began to ease. "I wasn't home. I just got back and my door was wide open."_

 _Caroline released a slow breath, not taking the time now to question herself about how worried she had just felt. "..I don't see why you'd think I'd find that silly. It's very upsetting having an unwelcome person in your own home."_

 _Kate nodded earnestly, glad to have someone who understood. "The police didn't seem very…sympathetic because all that was stolen were some old sheet music. But my dad got me them when I first started playing. I know they're not worth much, but-"_

 _"Do you have a victim of crime number?" Caroline dropped Kate's hands so abruptly that the teacher thought perhaps Caroline took the same view as the officers she'd spoken to last night._

 _"Y-Yes. In my bag. Why?"_

 _"Because Dr. Elliot is going to call them up and rip them a new one for not taking this **important school documents** theft seriously enough." Caroline reached for the phone, but when Kate didn't move she glanced back with a smile._

 _"..I'd appreciate Dr. Elliot doing that for me, but I think out of the two, Caroline will always by my favourite." With that, she dropped a kiss to Caroline's cheek and then left the room in search of her bag._

 _Caroline had felt the warmth of her words and kiss for weeks after._

 _…_

 _"KATE!" There were sniggers from the handful of students who were still in the classroom as they witnessed the usually composed head teacher rush into the room with a big grin on her face._

 _"D-Dr. Elliot. How can I help you?" Kate's words were hesitant, but her smile already matched Caroline's._

 _"I..I thought you'd be done for the day?" She indicated to the students without looking at them, her back straightening._

 _"Detention."_

 _"Oh. Right. Yes, of course." Caroline nodded. "Ah...perhaps you could join me in my office when you're done?"_

 _"Of course." Kate nodded, holding back a giggle just like her students but for very different reasons._

 _..._

 _"God, I'm sorry." Were Caroline's first words when Kate finally entered her office a short while later. "That was totally-"_

 _"The best thing to happen in my day." Kate finished for her._

 _Caroline found herself staring into Kate's eyes, the room falling into a comfortable silence as Kate stared back, a slight smile still on her lips._

 _It was the cleaner starting one of his machines in the next room that finally broke the moment, Caroline looking away to first glance out the window and then her desk. "Well I think I may be able to improve your day just a little bit more."_

 _"Surely that's impossible."_

 _ **Is she flirting with me?** Caroline's hands shook ever so slightly as she held up the parcel the police had just delivered. Before she could offer the good news though, Kate recognised what she held and a moment later Caroline found herself holding Kate too as the brunette threw herself into Caroline's arms._

 _"Thank you! Oh, thank you doesn't even begin to cover it, but thank you. Thank you!"_

 _Caroline laughed softly, but her smile faded when she found herself caught in Kate's gaze again, this time much closer._

 _ **Too close?** She wondered. But then her mind when peacefully, perfectly blank. Kate kissed her._

 _When Caroline gave no response, Kate pulled back, eyes beginning to widen with worry. She'd made it half way back towards the door in a panic before Caroline's voice filled the room._

 _"I've been wanting that to happen for weeks."_

 _Kate turned back, eyes still wide, music still clutched in her hand as she watched Caroline walk slowly, deliberately towards her._

 _The second kiss was just as perfect, the white stillness descending over Caroline's usually racing mind. She knew then that she had found something precious, something she'd always been looking for. Acceptance. Happiness. When she thought back to their first meeting, she wondered if perhaps she had been wrong for not believing in love at first sight all this time._

* * *

The room was dappled in morning sunshine and Caroline was curled tightly up in bed sheets, a warm body curled into her from behind with its breath tickling her neck. She ran her hand down the protective arm that rested over her before linking their fingers, her thumb instantly moving to play with the ring that rested heavily on such a slim hand. "..Kate?"

"Mm?" Kate dropped a sleepy kiss to Caroline's neck, still not ready to wake fully yet.

"Do you believe in love at first sight?" She felt Kate still, knew she was wondering how and if she should answer the question. "Because I do."

Kate let out a breath she hadn't quite realised she'd been holding. "You do?"

"Mm. I never used to. I thought anyone who did was a bit of a…well, an idiot. But then one day I walked out of my office and someone stole my breath away. I fought against it, like I've fought against everything my whole life, but it was too strong, what I felt. What I feel. It's like there's a…a thread connecting us, and the further apart we got the more it hurt because it was just trying to pull me back." Caroline spoke mostly into her pillow, voice muffled, but her words were heard loud and clear.

"..I think that sometimes there's…when you say someone stole your breath away, you did mean me, didn't you?"

Caroline laughed loudly, rolling to lie on her back so she could smile up at the woman who had officially shared her bed and her life for the last year. "Yes, I did."

"Good. OK. Just checking." Kate nodded, smiling. "Well then I think sometimes there's something you need in your life whether you know it or not, and when you meet the person who can give it to you, your heart just knows. I'm sure a scientist like you can understand the body's desire to... preserve itself."

"Mm, I suppose so. What was it that I needed, do you think?"

Oh, so much, Caroline. _SO_ much."

"Excuse me?! Are you being cheeky?" Caroline grinned up at the woman beside her, reaching out to tickle Kate's ribs.

As Kate laughed and tried to batter hands away, she replied. "It's true! You needed help with your French, because you sounded like a robot."

"I did bloody not."

"You needed help toning down your fastidious kitchen hygiene levels."

"Mm, well, you do load the dishwasher better than I'd hoped."

"You needed help talking about your feelings."

"Maybe I didn't have any feelings before you came along."

Kate shook her head, finally capturing Caroline's hands so she could twist their fingers together. "I refuse to believe that. I think you've been bubbling with emotions your whole life."

"So you're a sort of…tap, are you? Letting my feelings out for me? My own little tap?"

Kate was giggling too now as Caroline laughed openly. "It's not funny!"

"I know it's not!" Caroline laughed harder.

"And look! I gave you this! Laughing at 7am on a Monday morning! Bet you hadn't done that before you met me."

"Yes, fine, you've given me sooooo many things, how will I ever repay you?" Caroline asked, eyes already lighting up.

"No. Nuh-uh. We have to get up soon."

"But it's our anniversary."

"We seem to have an anniversary every week." Kate pointed out, trying to distract the blonde from her study of Kate's body under the covers.

"That's because we had so many false starts. But this, THIS is our proper first anniversary."

"You said that last Monday."

"Last Monday was the first proper anniversary of you telling me you didn't, and never had, liked sugar in your tea."

"Do you have a diary somewhere with all these little facts in it?" Kate laughed, wriggling now as Caroline's hands explored the path her eyes had just taken.

"Yep. It's called my Kate diary. It's very busy, and I intend to meet everything on my to-do list, so if you don't mind…"

"Oh, don't let me prevent you from getting things done!"

…

"Kate!" Caroline called as the brunette jumped from the car, running late for her class already. Running late for 9F, making it even worse.

Turning, Kate only just managed to catch the small, oblong jewellery box thrown at her.

"It was on my to do list but I got distracted. Happy anniversary, sweetheart."

Right in the middle of the carpark, Caroline gave Kate a gift even more precious than the one she found inside the box later that day. Right in the middle of the car park, Caroline gave her a public kiss.

"..Is that going in the Kate diary as our first kiss in public on school grounds?"

"You'd better believe it."


	15. Birthday Surprise

"Mum."

Though surprised to see her son enter her office and actually call her mum on school grounds, she tried not to show it. The last time he'd entered her office was on his second day at the school. She'd been prepared to offer her tough son cuddles and reassurance, but all he'd asked was would she stop smiling when they passed one another in the corridors because it embarrassed him.

"Lawrence." Was all Caroline offered, looking up from her paperwork to the boy hesitating in the doorway.

"..Can I talk to you for a minute?"

"Sure." Caroline motioned to the chair on the opposite side of her desk and then watched as her son walked slowly towards it and sat on the edge.

"…I didn't want to talk to you about this at home.." Was how he started off. Caroline readied herself to hear about something stupid John had done, or perhaps something Lawrence decided Kate had done wrong. "..You know that book of Kate's that got…lost?"

Not lost, Caroline knew that much. Though he denied it, they all knew Lawrence had thrown it out in a fit of anger just after Kate had moved in. It had been a gift from her father and was no longer in print, but Kate had begged Caroline not to yell at him. "Yes." Was all she offered now, taking her glasses off.

"Well I sort of…I sort of found this copy online and I wanted…I wanted to get it for her for her birthday." Lawrence blushed faintly.

Caroline bit the inside of her cheek to stop herself smiling. "I see."

"I've been saving up my pocket money, and my birthday money, but I don't have enough, so I was hoping..maybe you'd pay the difference?" Lawrence looked up hopefully to find his mother looking at him intently, though he couldn't read her expression.

"It's the exact one?" Caroline finally asked. When her son nodded, she motioned him forward and turned her computer monitor. "Show me."

* * *

"What?"

"Nothing." Caroline offered as they rested back against the couch, waiting for the boys (William) to finish cleaning the kitchen and bring through the dessert.

"You're smiling."

"Aren't I allowed to smile? I've just had a lovely dinner, there is dessert to follow, and I'm here with my three favourite people. Would you like to pick what to watch on TV?"

Kate considered Caroline's face for a moment before she reached out, touching one finger to the blonde's chin to turn her head. Smiling herself, Kate tilted her head. "Why are you smiling like _that_?"

"I don't have any particular smile on my face!" Caroline protested, avoiding Kate's gaze.

"You do. It's a sort of…smirk."

"I…It's not my thing to tell you."

"So there is a thing?"

"…Maybe?"

"Is that why Lawrence kept sniggering at dinner?"

"I couldn't say."

"Is it a good thing? Or a bad thing?"

"No comment. Do you want to watch a movie, or perhaps one of those TV shows we've saved?"

"I don't like this one bit." Kate fell back against the couch, folding her arms with a pout on her face. It was soon gone, though, because the boys walked in from the kitchen with a birthday cake, candles already lit up.

"We know it's not your birthday until tomorrow, but mum is taking you somewhere, so we decided to celebrate early with you." William put the cake in front of Kate. "We made it. Well, mum helped because we burnt the first one."

"Is that why the house smelled of smoke yesterday afternoon when I got home?!" Kate laughed.

"William was supposed to be watching the timer but he got lost in a book." Lawrence provided, eager as always to prove what an idiot his brother was.

"It was not! We agreed whoever-"

"BOYS!" Caroline cut in.

"Sorry." William was the first to offer. "I've got you this." He held out a present to Kate.

"Perhaps you'd better blow out the candles first before they drop any wax on my favourite table?"

"Oh yes, wouldn't want to mark your precious table." Kate replied, earning another snigger from Lawrence before she blew out the candles in one go.

"It's chocolate cake." Lawrence offered.

"His favourite." William supplied.

"Is not!"

"Is too. You picked it because-"

"BOYS!" Caroline was forced to interrupt again, giving her youngest a pointed look.

"Oh! I got you something too." He pulled a present from behind his back and held it out hesitantly to Kate.

"Neither of you had to get me anything, the cake would have been more than enough." Kate beamed at them, for she was finally feeling part of the family. "But thank you for these. Should I open them now or leave it until tomorrow?"

"NOW!" Both Caroline and Lawrence cried, earning them slight frowns from both Kate and William.

First Kate opened Williams offering, thanking him profusely for the set of French poetry books he'd collected for her, but when she opened Lawrence's she remained quiet, staring down at the small book.

"…Do you like it?" Lawrence asked, worried.

Kate glanced up at the boy and then at Caroline, tears in her eyes before she looked back down at the book.

"Kate?" Caroline asked softly.

Unable to get words past the lump in her throat, Kate finally jumped to her feet and pulled an embarrassed but pleased Lawrence into a hug.

"Is this a yes, mum?" He squeaked.

"I'd say it's definitely a yes." Caroline smiled, reaching out to rub Kate's back gently. "He found a copy online to replace your other one."

"Thank you, Lawrence." Kate managed finally as she moved back. "But I've no idea how you could have afforded it."

"I saved up…and mum gave me a loan. I've got to pay it back by cleaning her car for her until I'm about 40."

"50, actually." Caroline supplied, smiling proudly at her son.

"I reckon she'll forget about it in a month or two." Kate whispered to Lawrence, giving him a wink. "Cake, everyone?"

"Yes please!" Came the chorus.


	16. I love you

**A/N:** Thank you to Musiclover63 for this suggestion- "Don't you know that I love you?"

I'm not entirely sure about this one-shot. My original idea involved an argument between Caroline and Kate where Caroline would ask the question, but in an effort to keep it as light as possible I changed it up a bit. Not completely happy but I've reworked it so many times I can't stand the sight of it sitting on my desktop anymore! So posting it. Hope you enjoy.

PS. I LOVE CHOCOLATE!

* * *

Alan and Celia had gone missing- again. Caroline and Gillian had spent another night thinking the worst only for the couple to swan into the house at 8am both swearing blind they'd told their respective daughters that they would be away for the night.

Gillian had tried to insist Caroline stay and nap before she went home, but the blonde was too worked up by her mother's blasé attitude in the face of their worry to stay around her longer than necessary. So just as the rest of the country began to wake, Caroline climbed into her car, already dialling Kate's number. "They're fine," She offered before Kate had even spoken.

Kate let out a relieved sigh before turning to the two boys sat on the couch. "They're fine. What happened to them, Caroline?"

"They were at a hotel. They were in a sodding hotel asleep all night while we all panicked!" Caroline hit her steering wheel as the car spluttered into life. " _Apparently_ they did tell either Gillian or I, though they couldn't decide which one of us was told and neither of us remember being told a thing. They said it was the anniversary of the first time they met."

"…Well that's quite sweet."

Caroline shut her eyes for a moment before she drove the car from the driveway. Trust Kate to think that. "It would have been a whole lot sweeter if they had actually bothered to tell anyone where they were going."

"Should you be driving? You've been up all night."

"I couldn't stand being in the same house as my mother when she didn't give a jot about how worried I've been." Caroline sighed, lifting a hand to rub her eyes. "Are the boys alright?"

"Fine. I've told Lawrence he can have the day off, I hope that's okay?"

"It's fine. I doubt he'd be awake enough to get anything useful out of it. Another thing my mother apparently didn't consider, stressing us all out like that. Flora?"

"She seemed to have picked up on how exhausted everyone else is and has finally slept through the night so she can keep us all on our toes today." Kate glanced back to where Flora sat on William's lap, watching with interest as he flicked through his phone.

A smile finally graced Caroline's lips. "I should be home in about an hour, maybe two if I stop off for something to eat and a coffee."

"Ok. Drive safely, and if you feel too tired stop somewhere for a nap."

"If I do decide to do that, I will call you and tell you so you don't worry, because unlike my mother I-"

Sensing a rant coming on, Kate cut in, "Well I'm just glad they are both okay. I'll see you when you get home."

* * *

Caroline made it only half way home before she decided she needed to stop for coffee. She only noticed once sat that it the same service station she'd sat in after the first time her mother went missing. This time was so different- not John waiting at home trying to get into her bed, Lawrence permanently angry with her and William quietly following her about the place. Now, Kate would be there when she got home, William would probably want to talk about what he had been up to, Lawrence..well, he was still angry with her quite often but he was getting better. And Flora, who had just began to smile, would probably grin widely and reach her arms out when Caroline got home, just like she did every day.

Caroline scanned the people around her, remembering the happy family she had seen last time, the one that made her go home and finally tell John about Kate. Nearing school holidays, there were very few families about. In fact ,the service station café was almost empty aside from two ladies of about her mothers age with their heads bent together, talking over steaming mugs of tea. The blonde gave a faint smile as she watched them, wondering if she and Kate might be the same at their age, completely content with one another's company with no need for anyone else

As she blew on and then sipped her coffee, Caroline could hear the women chatting to one another, teasing each other about their driving. It reminded Caroline so much of Kate and her that she pulled out her phone intending to call her. But then she heard one of the women sigh, and from the corner of her eye she watched the smaller of the two reach out and take the others hand. "I love you so much, Jean. So much."

"And you, Betty, are the love of my life."

"Aside from Terry's Chocolate Oranges."

"Now now, you know I would choose you over chocolate any day."

As the women laughed, Caroline felt her heart sink down into her boots.

* * *

Lawrence heard the front door shut and jumped to his feet. "Mum! Guess what?! I beat William at-" He stopped, smile fading when he saw his mother sliding her back down the front door, tears trickling over her cheeks. "Kate!"

"What?" She followed her stepsons voice, frowning at his concerned expression before she spotted his mother sat on the floor. "Why don't you go and make her a cup of tea?"

"Is she okay?"

"She's fine. Tired." Kate offered as she approached her wife and sat on the floor beside her, giving a gentle smile as she reached up to brush away some tears.

"I'm sitting on the floor in my own house!" Caroline wailed.

"Mm, I'd noticed." Kate tucked hair behind Caroline's ear.

"It's the relief is it?" Caroline sniffed.

"Exhaustion and relief do tend to have this effect on you. Up to bed?"

Caroline gave a faint smile at the word bed, nodding her head, but at the same time offered, "No, I'd like to spend some time with everyone together before William goes back."

"Why don't we take you upstairs to wash your face first and put on some warmer clothes, then?"

Caroline nodded but again contradicted herself by saying. "Not yet. There's something I need to tell you."

Kate frowned but continued to stroke her wife's cheek gently.

"Mum and Alan are so happy, still, even after finding out everything about one another. Gillian worried last night that she might never find anything like that, saying she had waited her whole life for something perfect and perhaps she would be better off just settling. I told her not to settle, because it's worth the wait." Blue eyes lifted to brown, imploring Kate to understand without her having to say it, but all Kate offered was a soft smile. "Then when I was having a coffee on the way home, there were these two older women…remember you said to me once that there are so many gay couples everywhere and I just never notice them?"

"Your gaydar seems to work the opposite to most people's." Kate smiled, moving her hand to hold Caroline's.

"Well, I was sat so close I could hear what they were saying, and at first it made me think of us because they were teasing each other over something, I can't remember what, but then they started telling one another how much they loved each other and I suddenly realised…I have never, ever, told you I love you. I don't think I've ever said it to anyone, not properly." Caroline's tears began to well again. "You do know I love you, don't you?"

"Maybe you've never said those three words, but you say it in plenty of other ways. Just because that couple said it in that way, doesn't mean we have to. Anyway, we've never been conventional, have we?" Kate smiled gently.

Caroline gave a faint smile, sniffing, but she didn't look convinced.

"Maybe when we first started dating I would have loved to hear you say it, but now you tell me in hundreds of other ways every day, Caroline, so please don't cry. We've both been in situations before with someone who said it but didn't mean it, so that phrase holds no power for either of us, but you tell me when you let me sleep in even though you'll be late for work, you told me when you chose to have a relationship with me despite how much it scared you; you tell me when you schedule my classes later in the day so I don't have to be away from Flora too long."

"You weren't supposed to know I'd done that."

"Beverley is pretty easy to get information out of." Kate smiled, brushing Caroline's hand with her thumb. "So, for the record, I love you too, but please never compare us to anyone else. We're us, and I think us are perfect."

"..That's not very good use of English from a language teacher. "Caroline sniffed again, smiling wider this time "I think maybe I should go to bed."

"I think that might be best." Kate smiled, standing before reaching down to help the blonde up.

"Will you be home by 4?" Caroline asked as she stood wearily, wondering if Kate had noticed the similarities to last time Celia and Alan had disappeared.

"I can be." Kate smiled, drawing Caroline close for a tender kiss. "Bed."

Caroline nodded, rubbing her face as she approached the stairs.

"By the way." Kate suddenly called. "What size knickers does your mother wear?"

Caroline's laugh alerted Flora to her presence and her demanding cry filled the house.

In the end Caroline got her sleep, but on the couch with Flora in her arms, her two boys sat on the floor in front of her playing scrabble while her wife paced the room, phone to her ear as she tried to sort things out between mother and daughter.


	17. I love you reimagined

**A/N:** Thank you so much for the reviews, so glad you enjoyed that chapter! This next one is another version of the first 'I love you' for the guest reviewer who gave me the idea!

* * *

It felt like they were the only two people in the room, pressed closely together as they swayed with the music, stopping occasionally to just gaze at one another, noses brushing and smiles giving way to tender kisses.

Kate was the one to finally break the spell, whispering Caroline's name. When the blonde lifted her head, a gentle smile on her lips, Kate whispered, "I need a wee."

Caroline found herself laughing softly, her hands moving from Kate's back to her bump, touching it properly for the first time. Both women went quiet for a moment, looking down as smooth hands brushed over the silken fabric.

"She's moving." Kate whispered, watching as Caroline's smile widened. "She knows it's you."

Caroline felt tears welling in her eyes, giving a gentle shake of her head. "How? I have been so-"

"I've told her all about you." Kate cut the blonde off, resting a hand over one of hers to move it to where the baby wriggled. She knew Caroline felt it when she let out a gasp, a tear dropping from her eye to trickle down her cheek.

Caroline lifted her eyes to Kate's and then brushed their noses together before kissing her once more. The kiss quickly deepened, the music now forgotten. When they parted, Kate lifted a hand to brush Caroline's cheek. "Caroline?"

"Mm?" Caroline turned her head to kiss Kate's palm.

"Pregnant bladder."

Laughing softly again, Caroline finally stepped back, hands moving down to squeeze Kate's. "Would you like to come up to my room?"

"Yes." Kate gave a simple reply.

Caroline kept hold of one hand, leading them back to the table so Kate could gather her things. She could see Lawrence drinking from a wine glass and Gillian sitting too close to Robbie, but she dismissed it all quickly. She would deal with any fall out tomorrow, tonight was solely for herself and Kate.

* * *

"Nice room." Kate observed as she was the first to walk through the door.

"Is it?" Caroline asked lightly, shutting the door behind herself before she moved to wrap her arms around Kate from behind, dropping a kiss to her neck.

"Mm, It has a king sized bed, too. Funny thing for you to book." Kate smiled, but when she felt Caroline stiffen, she quickly turned in her arms. "I didn't…I just meant I hope you weren't planning on bringing someone else here tonight."

Caroline looked down at the floor between them. "I booked it because it was the room I should have booked the first time."

"Well, how about we think of this as the first time? Happy birthday to me!"

Caroline laughed softly, her body relaxing. "Well, in that case I'd better get on with what I'd planned. You go and use the bathroom, and I will go and unpack your present."

"You brought my present?"

"…I meant to put it on your seat at the wedding, but I chickened out. As usual."

"No. Not as usual. Fresh start." Kate reminded her before reluctantly pulling away so she could rush to the bathroom.

...

Five minutes later Kate looked down at the oblong jewellery box with tears in her eyes.

"Do you like it?"

Kate nodded but could not force any words past the lump in her throat.

"..I know this is a fresh start…but I also know my behaviour in the past has left a lot to be desired. There are so many things I wish I could change, your birthday weekend being the biggest thing. I wish I had been more supportive and understanding, but I promise you that I'm ready now. Ready for whatever we might face, whatever might happen in the future, because I…I love you, Kate. And I've loved you for a very, very long time." Caroline spoke earnestly, beginning to worry when Kate remained motionless.

Upon hearing those words that she had so longed to hear, Kate finally lifted her eyes from the beautiful necklace Caroline had given her to the face of the woman before her. "I love you, too." It came out as a whispered, followed by a half sob half laugh as Caroline launched herself forward to hug Kate tightly.

"Forever?" Caroline whispered into Kate's ear.

"Forever." Kate whispered back.


	18. Baking

**A/N:** Thank you so, so much for the lovely reviews! I start back at uni in a couple of days so I might not post as frequently, but I still have fics in the works for all your lovely suggestions. I'd also like to ask how many of you would like a longer, seperate fic based on the Memories 2 parter?

* * *

"MUM!"

Caroline was in the middle of a meeting when Lawrence burst through the door. Six heads turned his way as he breathed heavily, his face pale.

"What is it?" Caroline was already on her feet, meeting forgotten, for she'd never seen her son look so terrified.

"Kate." Was all he managed.

"Kate?!" Caroline stumbled as she followed him from the room. "The baby?"

Lawrence shook his head, half walking half jogging towards the staffroom with his mother in tow. "Allergic reaction. Beverley asked me to come and get you."

Caroline nodded, squeezing her son's shoulder as he stopped outside the staffroom before she rushed past him. "Kate?"

Kate lay on the floor beside one of the overstuffed armchairs, her legs up on the seat, panting as she tried and failed to slow her heart and her breathing, Beverley studiously rubbing the thigh that had taken the epi-pen. "L-Lawrence?"

"He'll be fine." Caroline dismissed as she fell beside her girlfriend, taking her hand to hold it tightly. "Have you called an ambulance?" She directed the question at her PA but her eyes didn't leave Kate's.

"Yes. They'll be here in a couple of minutes."

"The baby, Caroline." Kate managed, eyes full of fear.

"Will be fine. You've seen me read through hundreds of studies on the effects on babies, and none of them reported any harm." Caroline tried to reassure her.

"But the po-potential-"

Caroline shushed her, moving her free hand to rest on Kate's belly, rubbing it gently. "Our baby is going to be fine. Just focus on your breathing ok, sweetheart. I love you, both of you, and I'm not going to let anything happen."

Kate nodded, eyes still shining with unshed tears as she held onto Caroline's gaze for dear life.

* * *

"Have you had dinner?" Celia asked by way of greeting as she swept into the room, already taking off her jacket.

Caroline drew her gaze from a sleeping Kate to look at her mother, giving a faint smile as she shook her head.

"Right, well, I'll make what I can from what's in the fridge." Celia glanced at Kate before beginning to roll her sleeve's up. "Any idea what happened?"

Caroline looked back down at Kate's head resting in her lap and began rubbing her arm gently again. "Looks like they changed the factory where they make her favourite biscuits, and they now have traces of nuts in them."

"Well-" Celia exclaimed. "You'd think they'd put a warning on the packet, something on the front to make it obvious! What's the company name? I'm going to write to them."

Caroline couldn't help but smile, surprised at her mother. "Can we talk about it tomorrow?" She asked softly as Kate began to stir. When Celia nodded and walked towards the kitchen, Caroline glanced up again. "Where's Lawrence?"

"Alan's taken him to that new health food shop down the road. He thought he might be able to pick her up some things."

"Alan did?"

"No, Lawrence! The poor boy was in tears when I picked him up, he was that worried about her. And his sister."

"He said he was worried about the baby?"

"Well, he said Kate and the spawn, so I assumed that's what he meant."

Caroline gave a soft laugh and returned to gaze down at her girlfriend.

* * *

From that day on, Lawrence insisted on joining the adults on their food shop, following them around and reading the labels. When he discovered just how many processed foods he loved that Kate could not eat, he even tried his hand at baking. Caroline had to leave the room to stop herself laughing as Kate tried his first batch of biscuits. She got through 4 before she admitted perhaps he had used salt instead of sugar.

He persevered though, and by the time Flora was old enough to help in the kitchen he was a dab hand at making everything he could think of. Every Sunday morning became brother and sister time, parents banished from the room as he showed her all he knew.

Perhaps good things could come from bad situations after all, Caroline decided one rainy Sunday morning as Kate rested in her arms, the sound of singing, laughing and the clattering of pans flowing from the kitchen.


	19. A new organ seat

**A/N:** Just a short random one I found hiding in my files. Trying to complete all my half finished ones and post them before monday, so I hope you don't mind being inundated!

* * *

The peace that had covered her and warmed her that weekend was now beginning to slip from her grasp. The memory of the way tender lips had kissed away a frown on Friday was no longer offering the same comfort, and she ached to feel it again, to be told it was okay.

As always happened, Caroline had been lulled into a false sense of security. Everything had been going so well that she had begun to relax. Maybe she'd taken her eye off the ball. Something had obviously changed, for now suddenly thing after thing had started going wrong.

She had come out into the corridors to watch the students change classes, hoping to be reminded exactly why she put herself through the stress of this job year in, year out. She'd hoped for a smile, or at least an acknowledgement of her presence, even if it was fearful, but it was as though she wasn't there at all.

Swathes of students passed her without a glance and Caroline wondered if perhaps she'd died and hadn't noticed. That would just about round off a marvellous day for her.

Then, as she always did, Kate McKenzie came to the rescue. She seemed to sense Caroline's presence and their eyes met as soon as she turned the corner, Kate offering a tender smile. It felt like an age until Kate made it through the throng of students to stand by her side.

"You did the right thing."

Caroline shut her eyes, the pain that had settled in her temples beginning to ease. "Did I?"

"Yes."

Caroline smiled then, and the darkening mist that had started coming over her mind began to lift, a glorious warmth beginning to take its place. How had she ever managed without this woman?

As if sensing her thoughts, Kate's elbow hit her gently. "I don't suppose supporting the heads decision will get me a replacement organ seat in the chapel?"

Caroline laughed, startling the few students left around them, who all glanced towards the blonde curiously. "Always out for your own interests, aren't you?"

"That's me." Kate nodded, smiling affectionately at Caroline as she took a few steps towards her classroom. "Caroline?"

"Mm?"

"You've got this. I believe in you."

She had this. She could deal with anything. Squaring her shoulders, Caroline walked with purpose towards the meeting room. She'd deal with this issue, and while she was there she would bloody well get Kate a new organ seat, too.


	20. Sex Dreams

Caroline knew how it felt, she had been there twice before herself after all. She'd felt so unattractive, so tired and so uncomfortable in her own body. She had thought Kate's pregnancy was the opposite of that, but all it took was one evening when Caroline was too tired to make love for the tight tops to be exchanged for loose ones, for the undressing before bed to move behind a closed door away from Caroline. She should have seen it coming, probably, given how active their sex life had been since they got back together. Except now it had been a fortnight without seeing or touching Kate, and Caroline wasn't quite sure how to fix things. She did still find her attractive, perhaps too much so when she considered how many times Beverley had caught her daydreaming of late. It's just that Caroline knew she would make a mess of it if she tried to talk about it with Kate and would probably just make the situation worse. One, admittedly quite drunken, phone call to Gillian had settled her on the idea that she would just show Kate instead.

As bad luck would have it though, it was nearing the end of term, which meant late nights for Caroline and days so full that when she got home she was dead on her feet.

At this very moment, thankfully, she had a brief respite from meetings and was sat by the window daydreaming about Kate when she got a sudden glimpse of the woman herself. Kate was strolling around the grounds on yard duty with a colleague, and even from this far away Caroline could tell they were having a serious discussion. Thankfully it seemed that Kate was the listener rather than the one with the problem and she remained mostly silent, only offering the occasional word here and there.

Caroline watched them walk for almost five minutes, enjoying the way the sun hit Kate's face and made her look like she was glowing. She was glowing, in fact, a term Caroline used to think was ridiculous when people had told her she was when she'd felt like an elephant.

This pregnancy was so longed for, and Caroline couldn't help but wonder if Kate might have enjoyed it more if she were with someone else, someone able to express themselves. Thinking about what Gillian had said to her, Caroline wondered what this perfect person might say to Kate at this very moment.

* * *

Kate gave her colleague an apologetic smile, though she was quietly thankful for the interruption of her mobile so she need not hear another half an hour's worth of grumbling about some boyfriend or other. "Kate McKenzie."

"I adore you, Kate McKenzie, and you are so, so beautiful."

"Oh!" The word came out of her mouth without thought as she scanned the grounds looking for the woman who spoke breathlessly down the phone. "Wh…ah…ummm-"

"I'm in my office. I had a spare few minutes, and I was about to ask you to join me when I saw you outside. I've been watching you."

Kate subconsciously smoothed down the front of her top, glancing towards the window to Caroline's office. "…In a good way, or in a sort of serial killer way?" She could perfectly envision Caroline throwing her head back when she laughed a second later.

"I told you not to watch a horror movie before bed last night. Will you come to my office? Now? I can organise for someone to take over your yard duty."

"Well, I…umm..Okay, yes." Kate smoothed her top down again, giving her colleague an apologetic smile.

* * *

"Where's Beverley?" Kate hesitantly entered the office a few minutes later, hanging by the door.

"She wasn't feeling very well so I sent her home." Caroline walked past Kate to shut the door and then rested against it. "Kate-"

"Don't." Kate wrung her hands nervously.

"Don't what?"

"Say...whatever it is you're going to say."

Caroline studied the woman in front of her with a gentle frown. "Why?"

Kate let out a huff of air, glancing at the blonde before quickly looking away again. "The last time a woman said she adored me was just before she dumped me for someone else."

"Well I'd hardly say that sounds like adoration. At least not the sort I was talking about."

"What…what sort were you talking about?"

"The sort that makes my heart ache when I watched you just now. The sort that makes me love all your little quirks and stutters and nervous gestures that no one else probably notices." Caroline took a step forward.

Kate took a step back. "Have you been talking to Gillian?"

"Why? Does she adore you, too?"

Kate gave a faint smile at this. "She told me the other day that she wanted someone to look at her like I look at you. With adoration."

"..I have spoken to her about you, but not about that."

"About what, then?" Kate finally looked Caroline almost defiantly in the eye.

"…I'm not quite sure how to say this without sounding sort of-"

Kate tilted her head, curious now but still worried.

"…Sort of…look, Gillian and I got onto the subject of babies, I told her how uncomfortable I'd felt my whole pregnancy, she told me she'd had intense sex dreams the whole 9 months, and I said well I must be getting that pregnancy side effect instead of you." Caroline let the words out in a rush.

"..Oh."

"You see, the thing is I was worried you thought I wasn't attracted to you anymore, but I am. A lot. But then when I was trying to think of ways to tell you, they all made me sound like some dirty sex starved old maid and I didn't want you to think I wanted anything from you, if you didn't want to give it. So I've spent the last two weeks have increasing vivid day dreams about making love to you just about everywhere, all the while trying to subtly show you how incredibly beautiful you look when you're pregnant. Not that you don't look beautiful normally, because you do, but-"

Caroline's chatter was finally, blissfully, cut off by Kate kissing her softly. "Was that why you keep saying awkward… 'Are You Being Served'-esque things to me?"

"Yep. Yep, that's me flirting." Caroline nodded, staring at the ceiling as a blush crept up her chest.

"I see. And that's why when you walked in on me in the bath the other day you told me that my breasts reminded you of your jeep Cherokee, because they were smooth and-"

"Uh-huh." Caroline cut in. "Now you see why I don't exactly flirt with people. Especially when I've been having sex dreams about them all day."

"Right. I see."

"…You've been wearing looser tops, and we haven't had sex since I said no the other day, so I thought...maybe you thought I didn't want to."

"You didn't think perhaps it was just that my tighter tops were no longer able to fit over my jeep Cherokee breasts, or that we're both exhausted because it's the end of the school year?" Kate asked softly. Caroline thought she even detected a hint of amusement in her voice.

"I…is that why?"

"That will teach you to take advice from Gillian. Sex is all she ever thinks about, Caroline!"

"Sex is all I ever think about at the moment." The blonde replied miserably.

Kate bit her lip as she smiled. "I'm sure we can remedy that. You only had to ask."

"I've got a meeting in ten minutes."

"I can be quick."

"…In here?"

"You did say you day dreamed about having sex everywhere…"

"…You drop the blinds and I'll lock the door." As a laughing Kate strode towards the windows, Caroline asked, "And the undressing in the other room?"

"Selfish reasons, I'm afraid. I'm exhausted by the time we get to bed, but if you give me that look…the exact one you're doing right now, I know I'd do anything you asked, so I was trying to preserve my strength by preventing that look from happening."

"I don't have a look. Do I have a look?"

"Caroline."

"Kate?"

"Shut up and kiss me."

* * *

Nine minutes later, Kate smoothed down her top as she exited the heads office, glancing around to make sure no one was about as Caroline walked out behind her, adjusting her skirt. "Does that answer your question, Dr Elliot?"

"Uh-huh, just about." Caroline nodded, looking anywhere but at the brunette.

"Perhaps next time you'll ask me instead of assuming?"

"Like you did when you thought I was finishing with you just now?"

"Mm, touché." Kate lifted a hand to fix blonde locks. "Perhaps we should both learn to talk a bit more about the things that are worrying us."

"On that note, I do have one more thing that's worrying me." Caroline finally, boldly, looked into her lovers eyes. "Are you going to give me back my knickers, or…"

"I thought I'd keep them as an IOU reminder of what you owe me tonight. Enjoy your meeting." Kate smiled and took a few steps backwards, looking at an opened mouth Caroline, before she turned on her heel and walked back towards the front door of the building to resume her work.

"Kate? KATE!"


	21. A forever kind of thing

The air inside became stuffy and Gillian could feel a lump of emotion rising in her throat. She threw what she hoped was an apologetic smile at the man she was talking to and rushed out the exit, taking gulps of cold air as she sat at the garden table. It had rained at some point and the chair was damp, but she barely noticed as she rested her elbows on the table and then her head in her hands. She was out there for almost ten minutes sobbing quietly before she realised a voice had spoken.

"Gillian? Are you okay?" A gentle hand touched her shoulder.

Forcing herself to quieten, Gillian lifted her head and offered what she knew was an unconvincing smile to Kate. "Fine. Weddings always get me."

Kate gave a faint smile as she sat on the other seat, right on the edge so she wouldn't get wet. Gillian suddenly realised that when she stood up she would probably have a sopping wet arse. Oh well. Couldn't make her feel any worse.

"I always avoid wedding receptions if I can. People suddenly feel its their right to ask you all manner of inappropriate things!"

Gillian laughed, releasing another sob before her face crumpled again.

"What is it, Gillian? Really." Concerned, Kate reached forward and took one of Gillian's hands in her own.

"It's Caroline." Gillian managed to squeak out.

Kate frowned, studying the face in front of her before a dawn of understanding fell over her face. "Do..D-Do you…love her?"

Gillian nodded, then shook her head and then nodded again, not noticing the slight panicked look that passed over Kate's face. "I do. N-not like you. Not in..in that sort of way. I've slept with a lot of people, but they've always been men."

Relieved, Kate gave a gentle smile. "Well, you don't know what your missing."

Gillian let out a laugh, relieving some of the anxiety that had settled over her. "It's just that I've never..never had a proper female friend before. She's like..like a sister and a best friend all rolled into one. But she won't need me now she has you. You're the person she'll talk to about things, and I wont be able to call her up to grumble about things anymore." Gillian sniffed and gave a condescending laugh as she wiped her face. "Listen to me. You'd think she'd died instead of married. I'm being silly."

"No you're not." Kate squeezed Gillian's hand and gave a reassuring smile when she looked sceptical. "You're not, I promise. When my best friend in college met her first boyfriend, I was devastated, but nothing changed really. I just got a new friend. A good friend. So maybe you could look at it like that- you're not losing a sister or a best friend, you're just gaining another friend!"

"You wouldn't want to be friends with me. You're kind and polite and lovely. I'm crude, I'm rarely polite, and I say horrible things to people all the time."

"Listen, if I can marry a snotty bitch like Caroline, I can be friends with trailer trash like you."

Gillian let out a shocked laugh, squeezing Kate's hand back appreciatively. "I don't think either of us will ever live that first meeting down."

"I doubt it." Kate smiled. "So are we cool, Vincent?"

Gillian lifted her eyes to look at the woman in front of her with surprise. "Has Caroline told you about that?"

"About what?" Kate frowned, glancing up at the house.

"I…Do you like Pulp Fiction? It's my favourite movie." Gillian perked up now, looking at Kate with renewed interest.

" Well, let's not start sucking each other's dicks quite yet." Kate offered with a grin.

"I beg your pardon?!" Caroline faltered as she approached the table. She'd been watching the pair for a few seconds and decided like the conversation looked entirely too tense for a wedding day.

"Relax, Caz, it's a quote from pulp fiction. She's never seen it, Kate."

"Never?"

"Never."

"…And to think I married her without knowing an important thing like that about her!"

Caroline looked on in confusion as the women fell together laughing.

* * *

"What happened with Gillian today? In the garden?" Caroline finally asked that evening. Everyone else had left and now they were curled up together in front of the fire, neither willing to end the day just yet.

"She was worried you might not have so much time for her now we're married." Kate yawned, pulling the blanket up a little higher.

"Well that's stupid."

Kate laughed softly, turning her head to drop a kiss to the thigh her head rested on. "That's what I said. Although not so bluntly. She thinks of you as her best friend, you know."

"Does she?" Caroline asked lightly, a smile forming on her lips as she considered this. "I've never had a best friend before."

"What about me?!" Kate protested, though with little energy.

"You, Kate McKenzie-Dawson, are my soul mate."

"Really?" Kate smiled, rolling over so she could see Caroline's face.

Caroline just nodded, stroking her wife's face with her finger tips. "Whether we like it or not sometimes best friends fade in and out of your life, but soul mates? They're a forever kind of thing."


	22. Babies- Part 1

**A/N:** Can't remember who suggested this (sorry) but Part 1 includes Flora's first steps. Anyone else who has made a suggestion- they are coming, I promise!

* * *

"I…pardon?" Kate stopped half way between the lounge room and the kitchen, an empty bottle of wine in one hand and an empty glass in the other.

"I didn't mean to bring it up like that." Caroline exited the lounge, flicking the light off before she rested in the doorway. "It's just been on my mind."

"…I think it's something we need to talk about when it's not 1am and we haven't just finished a second bottle of wine." Kate offered as she disappeared into the kitchen.

"But what do you think generally?" Caroline placed her glass beside Kate's in the dishwasher and shut the door before turning it on.

Kate sighed as she walked to lock the back door, considering her words. "I think last time might have been a fluke."

"Kate! You were there as well as me when the specialist was talking. Sometimes two people aren't compatible. Maybe you and Greg-"

"So you'd be okay with Greg and I this time just because it's your idea?" Kate snapped.

"..No. No. That's not what I meant." Caroline stilled in the doorway, waiting for Kate to pass her and walk towards the stairs before she turned the overhead light off. "I just…the boys are so much older than Flora, and I was thinking it might be nice to have a sibling closer in age." Caroline followed Kate up the stairs, almost barrelling into her when Kate stopped and turned back.

"This may surprise you, Caroline, considering conceiving was apparently no issue and took no thought for you, but I was terrified it wouldn't work, and then I was terrified for months that I would lose Flora. Yes, I'm sure it would be lovely for her to have a sibling closer in age, but I can't just give you an answer when you've just thrown it at me so suddenly!"

Caroline frowned but as Kate spoke her face softened and she reached out for her wife's hand. "I'm sorry. I wasn't thinking. I am sorry, Kate." She looked up at her earnestly.

Kate held her breath for a moment before releasing it, and with it her annoyance. "I'm not saying no, I just need to think about it. It might not be so easy next time."

Caroline climbed the few steps between then and kissed Kate gently. "I know. But maybe if there is a next time I could make up for my mistakes last time."

Kate gave a faint smile, lifting a hand to touch Caroline's cheek gently. "You and your mistakes. You've made up for them tenfold and you know it. Can we just both agree to think about it and discuss it another day?"

"ok." Caroline smiled back, allowing Kate to lead her by the hand to their bedroom.

* * *

Something had convinced Caroline that Flora would be taking her first steps in the next few days. In fact, she had been so convinced she'd taken Friday off work, but Flora was so excited about having her Mama around that she had spent all day insisting on being carried. Now it was Sunday, and still no steps. They were currently in the living room in Halifax after family dinner, and Caroline was watching her daughter intently.

Flora was shuffling around the room in her half crawl half walk that she had been doing for a few days, stopping in front of every person she came across to watch them for a moment before she crawled on to the next. She seemed to have inherited Kate's kindness and was always ready with a cuddle when anyone even looked remotely sad.

Calamity was rushing after her younger cousin, walking at such a pace that every so often she would trip over Flora and send them both sprawling. Every time this happened, Caroline would draw breath as though she was about to yell at the girl, but every time Kate, even if she was in the middle of something else, would put a hand on Caroline's arm for a few beats. When the blonde saw Flora get up, unbothered, she would always give Kate a sheepish smile.

Today though, Kate wasn't occupied elsewhere and was instead watching Caroline intently. She'd given a lot of thought and worried a lot over her request a couple of months before but had yet to come to a decision. The thought of how upset she would feel had concerned her at first, but now watching how much Caroline loved Flora, she worried for her as well. How would Caroline cope if she lost a baby? She might put on a tough exterior but Kate knew well enough by now how fragile she was.

She had been determined to give her a response today, though she knew Caroline wouldn't push it. Her mind was mostly made up- No. That was until she had walked into the lounge to find it bathed in sunlight, Caroline's eyes shining as she watched Flora, every muscle in her body tense as she watched the girl stand. It was the same pose she often had at one of Lawrence's rugby matches, but excited and worried about her child.

"Ok."

Everyone in the room looked up at Kate as she spoke, but her eyes were on Caroline.

"Ok. I'll call him."

After a beat, Caroline was out of her seat and over to where Kate was sat in an overstuffed couch, sending them falling back with a laugh, grinning at each other.

Flora loved laughter more than anything, and as soon as she heard it she stilled for a moment where she stood before her grandmother, then turned towards the noise.

She took one step.

Two steps.

"CAROLINE!" Cried everyone in the room. But by the time she turned her head, Flora fell with a bump onto her bottom.


	23. Babies- Part 2

Kate had been adamant that Greg not come to the house, that he be nowhere near Flora, so Caroline had booked a hotel. Though she'd told herself hundreds of times since she'd made the booking that this was nothing like last time, the blonde still felt on edge as she sat in the bar by the fire waiting for Kate to come down the stairs.

 _You and Kate are married now._

 _This was all your idea!_

 _Nothing bad will happen._

But Caroline wasn't convinced. Now they were here, she wished they'd just stayed at home, curled up with Flora watching endless repeats of Peppa Pig.

 _You know what went wrong last time. All you have to do is make sure you don't make the same ones again._

Well, she'd managed to book a double room this time, so that was a start she supposed. Except now Kate was walking down the staircase, and all Caroline could think of was how hurt she had looked that day, how disappointed she had been. How much her own chest had ached.

"Hello." When Kate came to a stop beside her with a smile, Caroline had shut her eyes, willing the tears away. With a swallow and a steadying breath, she hoped she'd managed it.

"Hello yourself." Caroline opened her eyes and looked up with a gentle smile. "You look beautiful."

Kate's smile widened just a little as she sat beside her wife, reaching immediately for her hand. "I know what you're thinking."

"That we should skip dinner, go straight up to bed and get you out of that dress?" Caroline attempted humour, and Kate rewarded her without a hand squeeze.

"This is nothing like last time, Caroline. And I forgave you for what happened a long time ago, so please don't worry about it." Kate studied the side of Caroline's face earnestly, willing it to turn towards her. "…When you worry, you shut off from me, and I need you tonight."

"You need Greg tonight." Caroline could already feel herself shutting off, reverting to hurtful words said with an emotionless voice.

Kate was quiet for a moment, biting back her own retort. In the end, she chose to forget her wife's words. "I'm worried Greg is going to ask about Flora, and that.." Kate paused, her own worry beginning to surface. "..You're the one who has looked into the legal side of things, Caroline. I need you there in case he tries to sweet talk me into telling him about her."

"You read all that paperwork, too." _Why am I being like this?!_ Caroline wondered to herself. _I'm the one who requested this whole bloody thing!_

Kate considered pulling away, moving back in the seat, but she'd come to know this Caroline- jump before being pushed Caroline. She knew that if she pulled away, Caroline might spiral further into whatever internal panic she was having. So again, she ignored Caroline's words. "I spoke to the fertility doctor again on Monday when the nurse gave me the injection." Kate could see Caroline's chest rising and falling faster than normal and knew that she would be jumping from her seat soon if she didn't get through to her. "She told me that a man doesn't have to be involved."

This seemed to break through Caroline's thoughts and blue eyes finally turned to Kate, confused. "..We know that, but this is the best way to get pregnant."

Kate was silent for a moment, considering her words carefully. "This isn't how I wanted to tell you. I was hoping for…look, it's the best way because it's…fresh, I suppose. The sperm. And sex helps makes the body understand that conception may be going to occur, and an orgasm-"

"I don't need a bloody science lesson, Kate." Caroline jumped from the seat, moving to stand in front of the fire, her back to the room.

Kate let out a slow breath before standing up, moving to a few inches behind her wife. "The point I'm trying to make is, if there is fresh sperm and sex and an orgasm, there doesn't need to be a man."

"I don't-" Caroline began.

"If Greg is willing to do whatever he can in his own room to produce that sperm, then I don't need to be with him alone at all. You could do it. You could…impregnate me. If it works. We could…make love. And you could…with his…Caroline?" Kate wasn't sure if her words were getting through or being understood, but after a few seconds Caroline turned to face her, resting her shoulder gently against the mantelpiece.

"I could…I could do it?"

"…For a couple of academics, we're not very good at using our words, are we?" Kate gave a faint smile, hoping to break the tension.

Caroline responded with a smile of her own, growing steadily in size. "I could make you pregnant?"

"The doctor said it would be just as likely to work as if Greg and I…" Kate waved her hand in the air, her smile beginning to match her wife's. "She gave me a …thing. So we could just do what we normally do and then you could…"

"I could make you pregnant." Caroline ended, a positive grin on her face now.

"Does that sound…better? Does it sound okay?" Kate returned nervously when she saw Greg approaching them with a smile.

"Better than okay. Can we get this over with quickly, so we can go upstairs and I can make you pregnant, please?" Caroline offered through gritted teeth before extending her hand towards Greg.

Smiling to herself, Kate slipped her hand into Caroline's and then smiled at Greg.

* * *

"Is that grin ever going to disappear from your face?" Kate asked sleepily, squinting against the sun.

"oh, I very much doubt it." Caroline responded, moving to kiss her wife before she returned to making them some breakfast from the tray she'd had delivered. She was dressed in a robe, and Kate's hand itched to pull at the tie and reveal what was underneath.

After dinner with Greg (Caroline still thought he was a bit of a jerk and he thought she was stuck up), Kate had put her plan to him and, once again, he'd agreed. Caroline would be the one to go between the rooms, and once Greg's gift had been given, he could choose to stay in his room overnight or go home.

Caroline had brought Kate to the brink of orgasm so many times before Greg texted them that when she finally returned with the sperm safe in its pot, Kate launched herself at her wife and almost ripped her shirt in her eagerness to both get started and finished.

Unfortunately, Caroline was all about taking her time and savouring the occasion, and by the time she was ready, Kate was practically begging her wife to make her pregnant. Caroline wasn't sure either before or ever again she would hear something that turned her on quite so much.

"You're still grinning." Kate's voice came again, breaking Caroline from her thoughts of the previous night.

"So are you." Caroline glanced at Kate as she stretched luxuriously on the bed, hair tousled and eyes still half shut.

"I think it worked. I feel different."

Science Caroline told her many things to say at that moment, but Kate's Caroline rejected them all in favour of, "I think so, too. I felt it last night. Something changed."

Kate's smile softened and then turned into a pout, her hand reaching out for Caroline to join her back in bed. She willingly obliged.


	24. Tears

"Kate?"

Kate was surprised to see Lawrence at her classroom door as her class packed up after their French lesson. She was even more surprised that he addressed her by her first name. Out of school hours it had always been 'her' or 'she', at school it was always Miss McKenzie.

"Is everything okay?" Was the first thing from Kate's mouth as the boy hesitated in the doorway.

Lawrence glanced at the students slowly filtering from the room, giving faint smiles at those he knew, but Kate could see something was troubling him. Unlike his mother, he hadn't had the practice of years of hiding emotions.

"Lawrence?" she prompted when the final student had departed.

"It's mum." He glanced up at Kate briefly before looking away, staring intently at a map on the wall.

"…What is?" Kate prompted again when nothing else was forthcoming.

"…Have you two had a fight?" His back suddenly straightened and he looked her pointedly in the eye. Kate knew he loved his mother fiercely, but this show of strength almost made her smile. Almost. She might smile about it later when she compared this boy with the sullen Lawrence she was used to.

"No. Well, not that I know of. You of all people are probably used to her having an entire argument with you in her head before you end up with the brunt of her annoyance." Kate hoped this observation wouldn't be met with hostility, and was pleased to see a brief smile pass Lawrence's lips, his posture relaxing again. "Why?"

"I went to her office to ask if I could have money for the rugby trip deposit, but…I think she was crying." When Lawrence looked at Kate again, she was reminded how young he truly was.

Reaching out, she rubbed his arm tenderly. "I'll go and see what's happened. I'm sure she's fine. Perhaps someone has died on that radio program she insists she doesn't listen to."

Lawrence gave another faint smile, though they both knew how unusual it was for Caroline to cry. "How much is the deposit?"

"50. Mum said dad had to pay for it, but I don't think he had any money because he kept changing the subject. I was too scared to ask her for it, though." Lawrence shrugged, embarrassed.

"It's Mr. Johns taking you, isn't it?" At Lawrence's nod, Kate offered, "I'll go and see him and ask if we can pay tomorrow. I doubt very much he'll mind if the payment is late, anyway. He wouldn't want his star player missing those matches!"

"…I'm not the star player." Much like his mother, Lawrence was completely unaware of how to accept a compliment.

"Not what I've heard. I'll go and see to your mum now." Kate offered, picking up her bag. "And I'll send you a message to let you know everything is okay, but don't go telling your teacher I was the one who told you that you could use your phone in class!"

* * *

Apparently, the sudden arrival of her son had made Caroline smarten herself up, for when Kate knocked hesitantly on the door a couple of minutes later not a hair was out of place.

"Kate! To what do I owe the pleasure?"

It was the sort of informal greeting Caroline gave to the staff members she didn't mind, but was not the greeting Kate usually experienced. She could feel Caroline's barriers up all the way from the doorway. Walking in, the younger woman shut the door and then walked in hesitant steps to the chair opposite Caroline's. "Lawrence just came to see me."

"I see." Caroline said without feeling, returning her gaze to the file in front of her.

"…He needed money for the rugby trip deposit, and he doesn't think John has it."

"Oh." This was not what Caroline had expected and she lifted her head again. "Wh…I…um..I'll sort something out."

"It's fine. It's sorted. I spoke to Mr. Johns just now and he's put Lawrence's name down. I just thought you might want to know why he came to your office earlier." Kate offered.

"I see." This was all Caroline gave, looking at Kate with an indistinguishable expression. Was she going to ask why she'd been crying? Or worse, did she want Caroline to volunteer the information?

"Anyway, I don't usually get involved with…John things, so I hope you don't mind me suggesting this, but I thought perhaps something formal like-"

"It was you." Caroline forced past her lips.

Would this family ever get to the point straight away, Kate wondered. "What was me?"

"Making me cry. Well, no, not making me. I just…Margaret from the Board of Governor's is getting married."

"..I'm not following, Caroline."

"She's 68. Almost as old as my mum, and she has never married. She said she was waiting for the right person. And I was thinking how lucky we are. I know things could have gone smoother, and we could have been younger. But how lucky we are to have found one another now, while we can still... While we're young enough to have a proper future ahead of us. Young enough to have Flora. Young enough to…oh, I don't know. It's been a long week and I think I'm going soft in the head." Caroline waved her hand randomly about, embarrassed by her show of openness, even towards her girlfriend.

"And..and that made you cry? Good cry?"

Caroline could hear the smile in her girlfriend's voice and shut her eyes tightly. She knew what was coming. "Yes."

"...That's so sweet, Caroline."

Caroline heard Kate move from her chair and felt the air moved as she walked closer.

"Pathetic, but very sweet."

A surprised laugh left Caroline's lips and she opened her eyes to find Kate resting against the desk in front of her. "Do you think we're rubbing off on each other the wrong way? You becoming cynical and me crying at the drop of a hat?"

"I take offence to that! When have I ever cried at the drop of a hat?!"

"…I have work to do, so you should probably…" Caroline motioned quickly towards the door.

"We're not done with this conversation, Elliot." Kate offered as she pushed herself away from the desk. More gently, she added, "Can I tell Lawrence you're okay?"

"Yes. Actually, No! I'm going to go and pull him out of class and just when he's absolutely shitting himself, I will tell him I was crying over his baby pictures and give him a big sloppy kiss." Caroline leapt joyfully from her chair.

"You won't?!"

"I wont." Caroline conceded with a smile, holding open the door for her girlfriend. "Tell him I'm fine."

"And are you? Fine?" Kate took Caroline's hand in hers as she passed.

"I think I'm done crying. For today, at least."

"Well next time you decide to have an emotion, perhaps lock your door before it comes out." Kate gave Caroline a brief kiss on her cheek.

"Noted, Miss McKenzie." Caroline nodded, formal voice back and shutters down as the deputy head approached, though her hand stayed briefly in Kate's, squeezing it gently.

What a long way we've come, Kate mused as she walked to her next class.


	25. Sweat

**A/N: Co-written with a friend who also came up with the idea! Thank you for your chocolate contribution!**

* * *

Kate slowly walked up the stairs to the bedroom. Stairs were getting a little more exhausting for her with each passing day as her belly swelled more and more. She thought her huffs and puffs as she did the stairs could be heard as far away as Halifax, but she was apparently quieter than she knew because she startled Caroline when she opened their door.

She found Caroline in a compromising position on the bedroom floor, red-faced from her solo activities. Caroline was huffing and puffing, too but for very different reasons.

"Caroline!" Kate exclaimed, shocked to find her in this manner but more than a little turned on by the sight of her skin all a glow with a light sheen of sweat.

"Kate," the dishevelled blond began without being able to make eye contact. She was more than a little embarrassed to be caught in the act.

"Caroline," she said in a softer tone as a broad, naughty smile erupted on her face.

"It's not what it looks like," Caroline continued defensively.

"Let me help you with that," Kate offered with a leering look as she gingerly lowered herself to the floor and took hold of Caroline's feet.

Caroline shifted her position a little and wordlessly resumed her movements, trying to stifle her need to grunt as her stomach muscles contracted; she realized her pride was still intact despite not wanting Kate to see this side of her.

"Just one question springs to mind," Kate said after a little bit. "It is what it looks like but why?"

"One lonely night after far too much Sangiovese, right after you told me you were pregnant, I decided it was time to..." she began to confess but ran out of breath before she could finish.

"Oh, Caroline." It was all Kate could manage as the penny started to drop for her and she didn't know whether to feel guilty or grateful. "Well how many is that?"

"Fifty," she said as she reached for a towel to wipe the sweat off and struggled to sit up.

"Fifty?!" She knew Caroline hated sit-ups more than thing else they use to have to do in gym class so she was impressed by her dedication.

"Yup. I've learned how to keep count even when the movement only serves to make my eyes want to roll back in my head. Frankly, the worse part is the effort it takes to get up off the floor when I'm done," she joked as she suddenly realized she was going to have to help Kate up as well. "If you'll move off my feet, I'll get up and then help you up."

"Hmmm. I was thinking that while we're down here we could do a little more of a workout but together this time."

"…What, now?" Caroline gave a smirk at the thought.

"Why not?" Kate shrugged, her hands beginning to massage Caroline's calves in a delicious manner. "If you've got the stamina after those sit ups, of course."

Caroline took Kate's words as a challenge, just how she was meant, and a few minutes later they both lay on the floor in various states of undress. Kate lay on her back trying desperately to ignore the baby now pressing on her bladder and focus on the hand Caroline was brushing up and down her thigh, or the lips that were currently attached to her neck. "C-Caroline?"

"Mm." Was all the blonde responded, moving her lips down to take a straining nipple in her mouth.

Kate began to wriggle, pressing her head back harder into the carpet as a moan escaped her lips. "C-oh! Caroline!"

"I am busy here, in case you hadn't noticed." Caroline finally lifted her head, a smile on her face. "What is it?"

"Baby. Bladder." Kate panted.

"Oh! Oh god, sorry. You'd think I would have remembered." Caroline grabbed a pillow from the bed and placed it behind Kate, allowing her to move slightly on her side. "Better?"

"Much." Kate smiled, capturing her wife's lips.

"Sh…shit! Shit, shit!" Caroline suddenly rolled away, curling up to rub her calf.

"Leg cramp?" Kate asked, a laugh shaking from her lips.

"It's not funny!"

"I don't think we're made for having sex on the floor, Caroline."

"It's not funny!" Caroline repeated, though she began to smile too. "Bed?"

* * *

"Why were you doing sit-ups, anyway? Really." Kate asked as they settled down to sleep an hour later, her fingers stroking Caroline's stomach tenderly.

"…I told you." Caroline's voice was small, embarrassed.

"Well, for the record, I think you have the most magnificent body I've ever had the pleasure of laying my eyes and hands on." Kate whispered in Caroline's ear before dropping a kiss to her cheek. "And if it's running around after a toddler you're worried about, or your age, I think anyone who can walk around in those heels all day every day is definitely fit enough to rival even a gym bunny!"

"…What's a gym bunny?" Caroline wrinkled her nose.

"Strike that. You're definitely three whole years older than me!"

"Oi! If you keep up with that, I shan't get up and help you to the bathroom at 4am." Caroline shot back, a smile softening her words.

"I'll just wet the bed."

"You will bloody not!" Caroline was grinning now, her lips barely an inch from Kate's. "Still got some energy left? You could help me burn off the cake I had for lunch."

Smiling back, Kate drew Caroline closer and captured her lips, her hand running over the skin on Caroline's stomach that was still slightly sticky with sweat. But then just as suddenly as it began, Kate pulled back. "What cake? Why didn't I get any?!"


	26. Hens Night

It seemed like most women enjoyed hen parties, but it turns out Caroline wasn't most women. As her sister (could she really call Gillian that? Caroline wasn't sure) drank enough for the two of them, Caroline sat glumly in the corner (eating penis shaped lollipops, or at least she was until she realised just what the sweet resembled).

When a song that had repeated several times that night came on again, Caroline snuck out the exit with her phone, dialling the same number she'd been texting all night.

"Caroline."

"This is torturous, Kate."

"Oh, just relax and enjoy yourself! It's only one night, there is probably enough booze that no one will notice if you dance terribly or rip your tights!"

"Speaking from experience?"

"…Maybe."

Sighing, Caroline rested her bum against the side of the building, suddenly wishing she smoked. "How's Flora?"

"Still fine, though it's only been 10 minutes since you last asked."

"She went to sleep okay?"

"She asked for you once, but was happy enough to cuddle up to your cardigan as a Caroline substitute. I'm fine too, by the way. Loving being alone with Lawrence. We had a completely silent dinner, followed by a swearing match over Mario cart."

"A pretty standard Saturday, then." Caroline puffed out a white cloud of warm air into the cold. "Except that one Saturday a month when he suddenly decides we are actually ok people after all."

"Don't think luring me into a conversation will get you out of that hen's night, Caroline. Go and have fun! You've got a limo all night, unlimited alcohol…knowing Gillian probably a lot of penis shaped things, too."

"I was thoroughly enjoying a grape lollipop earlier until I realise I'd practically been deep throating a purple penis."

Caroline began to smile as she listened to Kate laugh. God, she loved that laugh. "Fine, okay. I'll go back inside, but if any embarrassing photos of me surface, it's your job to find and kill the person who took them."

"Deal!"

* * *

Well, she had had a drink, but all that had changed was she was now drunk as well as bored.

Sighing, Caroline reached out for another lollipop, but this time she bit the head off, crunching it miserably between her back teeth.

"Well, I don't think I've ever seen something quite so lesbian as a woman crunching on a penis lolly so aggressively."

Caroline's head snapped up, a grin taking over her face as she saw Kate stood before her. "Are you a tequila induced vision?"

"Probably not, considering I think I've got some snot on the corner of my shoulder. Hello." Kate kissed Caroline tenderly as she sat down beside her, resting a hand against a warm, pink cheek. "You sounded so miserable I decided drastic measures were needed. So, here I am in a dress from university that doesn't _quite_ keep my breasts in it, and a pair of heels that I haven't worn in over 5 years."

"Well I for one am _loving_ this dress." Caroline's gaze dropped briefly to the magnificent sight in front of her before managing, "Flora?"

"Lawrence is looking after her."

"Lawrence?!" Caroline's eyes shot up.

Smiling, Kate rolled her eyes. "William is there. He arrived an hour ago and said he would supervise the baby sitting."

"William? My William is at home?" Caroline shot out of her seat.

"Yes. And he has asked me to tell you not to call him and just enjoy your night. And I plan to make you enjoy your night. Come on." Kate stood too, grabbing her wife's hand.

* * *

"I love hen's nights." Caroline offered into the quiet room. "I should have one. I missed out on one both times, you know!"

"You know that Kate couldn't come on your hen's night?" Gillian offered as she flopped down on the seat beside her sister.

"Why not?" Caroline frowned, resting her head back.

"Because them's the rules, sunshine! I think I might be dying."

"We should have water. Or coffee."

"Wine?"

"That'll do, probably. It's a liquid, isn't it." Caroline yawned before suddenly whining, "Why did you send Kate with the others?!"

"Because a) I wanted to make sure they got home safe and she was the only sober one, and 2) I'm not staying here with you two all night, doing eyes at each other or worse!" Gillian grumbled, pushing herself to her feet. "Red or white?"

"You never have red." Caroline mumbled.

"It'll have to be white, I never have red." Gillian offered as she stumbled into the kitchen.

Caroline sighed, looking for her phone before calling, "What do you mean all night? It's already practically morning!"

"What's the time? Oh god, I'll need to deal with the animals soon."

"You'd better not ask Kate to milk the cows."

"I haven't got any cows!"

"Haven't you? Oh, I think that's the car." Caroline jumped rather unsteadily to her feet and weaved her way to the front door, making it there just as Kate pushed it open. "I've missed you."

As Kate gave a gentle smile and reached out, Gillian called out, "She missed staring at your breasts!"

"…Maybe that too." Caroline whispered into Kate's lips as they kissed.

"Oh god, get a room you two." Gillian sighed as she rested in the doorway, drink in hand.

Kate dropped another kiss to the corner of Caroline's mouth before she pulled away to take the drink from Gillian. "None of that. You're both having a big glass of water and then you're going to bed. You're getting married tomo..today, and you need your beauty sleep!"

"She's going to need more-" Caroline began until Kate shot her a look. "than a glass of water for that hangover not to hurt in the morning."

"You can talk. I saw how many tequila shots you did." Gillian grumbled as Caroline joined her in the doorway, both watching as Kate considered the glass she held before she poured the contents down the drain.

"Not as many as you." Caroline shot back.

"..I think I'm going to be sick." Gillian moaned, only just managing to reach the bin before she was sick.

"Oh god." A hand shot to Caroline's mouth.

…

As Kate held back blonde hair and rubbed her wife's back ten minutes later, a sigh escaped her lips. "I hate hen's nights."


	27. Family

**A/N:** I am considering a couple of sister stories to this one that I'd like to know if people would be interested in. Both still in one-shot format, but an M rated one that includes sex and other M-rated pursuits, and an angsty one (no Kate death still, but perhaps miscarriages etc.)

* * *

So often in the past Caroline had stayed late at work on purpose, even when she had no work to complete. The office had been her place of calm, and while she loved her boys dearly, home was somewhere she thought of as a war zone. She never knew what state she would find it in, who would be there, who would be upset, if John would be drunk.

But now, for the first time in a long time when Caroline found herself still at work at half past 5 in the evening, she looked through what work she still had left to determine just how soon she could be home. Not long, she decided, before searching for her phone to message Kate. Not that Kate would be annoyed if she worked late, unlike John. Kate understood her work and how difficult it could be, and if ever Caroline had a particularly trying day Kate would meet her at the front door with a glass of wine and a kiss.

Thinking of this, Caroline assessed what work she had again and then promptly decided it could wait until tomorrow.

Phone, Bag, Keys, Car, Home, Kate.

...

Oh god. John's car was outside the house. And her mother's. And Gillian's!

Caroline's first thought was that someone had been hurt, but she dismissed that quickly. Someone would have called her.

No, knowing her family it was probably some small argument that had been blown out of all proportion and they'd all be inside wanting Caroline to take sides.

She did consider turning the car around and driving away, but she had seen the small face waiting hopefully by the window, and the big smile when it had noticed Caroline's car. So, she took a deep steadying breath and climbed from her car before making her way towards the front door.

"Mama!" Flora was the first to greet her, holding her arms up hopefully and then snuggling sleepily into her when Caroline picked her up.

"Is that you, Caroline?" Celia called from somewhere in the house.

"No." Caroline called back as she hung her bag up and then began trying to extricate herself from her coat with a monkey like toddler gripping onto her.

"Look." Flora pointed to a scratch on her leg excitedly. Much like her boys had been, Flora loved any bruise or scratch she got dearly.

"Wow! How did that happen?" Caroline wondered if she might get upstairs without being accosted. She could lock herself in the bathroom?

"A lion." Flora whispered.

"A lion? Here?" Caroline whispered back.

As Flora nodded solemnly, a hand suddenly snaked around Caroline's waist from behind and warm breath tickled her ear. "Do you think if we run we can make it upstairs to a room with a lock on the door before they catch us?"

"Have you been hiding in my study again?" Caroline asked softly.

"They descended on the house like a pack of rabid seagulls!"

"…I don't think seagulls get rabies, Kate."

"Trust you to think logically when we are about to be ripped apart limb from limb!"

"Any idea why they're here?"

"None. I just shoved Flora at them and made a run for it."

"Sacrificing our child again?"

"She's young enough not to be mentally scared by your mother, surely?"

"I doubt it." Caroline replied quietly, a soft laugh following her words as Kate's arm tightened around her at the sight of Celia entering the hallway. "Mother."

"What are you three doing standing in the hallway when you've guests?"

"Family tradition." Came an unexpected voice from the doorway of Caroline's study. "We always give mum a group hug when she gets home." Lawrence offered.

Celia's eyes narrowed as she looked at her smirking grandson. "Right, well, we've got some news, so if you'd like to join the rest of us?"

…

Now everyone was in one room together, Celia stood before them all and cleared her throat.

"Do you think she's pregnant?" Caroline heard Kate whisper to Lawrence and had to suppress her smile as they giggled together. It had been a hard road for the pair, but things seemed to be running smoothly now. Not least because Lawrence adored his baby sister.

"We've decided where we are going to live."

Kate's hand tightened its grip where she'd been holding onto Caroline's waist gently. Her relationship with Celia was perhaps not as smooth.

"Where?" Gillian asked, moving to the edge of her seat.

"Why am I here?" John asked.

"Yes, why are here John?" Caroline looked over her daughter's shoulder at him.

"I didn't invite you." Celia pointed out.

"I did." Lawrence offered.

"Whatever for?!" Caroline questioned.

"...The message did ask for all the family. John is family..." Kate, ever diplomatic.

As Caroline's expression softened and she gazed at her wife, Celia cleared her throat.

"Yes, well, anyway. We have decided to move to Holywell Green! We've found a nice little house at-"

"Holywell Green? Where is that?" Lawrence wrinkled his nose.

"Where is it?! We drive past at least once a week, Lawrence! Have you not noticed the huge blue sign?" Caroline was incredulous.

"You can't live in Holywell Green! That's miles from Halifax!" Gillian protested.

"Is it a nice house?" Kate asked, earning a thankful smile from Alan.

"There isn't a big blue sign, I'd have seen it. There isn't is there Dad?" Lawrence looked up at his father.

"Oh! I..uh…umm.."

"He would only notice a big blue sign if it was shoved up his arse where his head currently resides!" Caroline snapped.

"Caroline! Look, we have said we're sorry, not that it really has anything to do with you anyway." Gillian cut in.

"Sorry for what?" Lawrence questioned.

"…Has it got a garden?" Kate attempted.

As Celia watched her family with dismay, Alan moved forward in his seat. "Oh, it's lovely. It's in a little retirement village where there are all sorts of activities, and it's all on one level so I wont tire myself getting up stairs. And there's help if we need it, but they'll leave us be if we don't." Alan supplied.

"That sounds lovely! And it's almost half way between Halifax and here, so you'll get the best of both worlds!" Kate enthused.

"…It's got a spare room, too, in case anyone would like to stay for any reason." Celia offered, glancing pointedly at the granddaughter she quite openly (for Celia) adored.

"I bet Flora will be begging to see the pair of you as soon as you've moved out." Kate smiled, trying to ignore the bickering happening in the rest of the room. She'd come to understand that while this family loved one another dearly, they were not all compatible in pairs, so together… "I think I might have a glass of wine. Celia? Alan?"

"I think we will join you, love." Alan stood and reached for his wife's hand.

* * *

"Right! Now that is settled-" Caroline shut street view on google maps and turned towards her mother only to find she wasn't there. "..Where did they go?"

"Gone home." Kate supplied as she sat beside her wife again, wine glass in hand. "It sounds absolutely lovely, this new place." As Caroline and Gillian glanced rather guiltily at one another, Kate brushed hair from Flora's face where it rested against Caroline's shoulder and thanked god for probably the thousandth time that she could sleep through anything. "And, by the way, they took the sign down about 8 months ago after it got damaged during a storm."

As Lawrence began to crow and John assured everyone he'd known that all along, Caroline raised her eyebrow at her wife.

"Don't look at me. Just here to enjoy the show." Kate offered, curling her feet up under her bum. "Your family really are good value, Caroline. You should have a reality TV show."

"…You do realise you are part of that same family, Kate."

"Oh. Oh god. I've joined the Osbournes!"

"Who are the Osbournes?" Lawrence wrinkled his nose.

"..Who are the Osbournes?! They were a reality TV family before there even _was_ reality TV!"

"I didn't know you watched reality TV, Kate. I bet Caroline doesn't!" Gillian quipped.

"I don't even own a tv." John supplied.

"Oh, you do so you pompous twat."

The room went quiet then, and it took a few seconds for Kate to register that it was her who had spoken and not Caroline. Just as she opened her mouth to apologise, though, the room filled with laughter.


	28. Birthday tears

**A/N** : Thank you so much for your lovely reviews! I haven't had the time to write anything new in the past few days, so I'm going to post a couple of chapters that were already written. Once they're out, I'm going to start a short story that begins with Greg! It's been dancing in my mind for a while, so I want to get it out of the way and then I can begin afresh with no outstanding, partly written stories!

* * *

"I wont accept it because it's not what you want!" Celia shot back at her daughter.

In the dining room, 4 nervous diners tried not to look at one another.

Sitting opposite Kate, William could see her almost vibrating with nerves. She'd never witnessed one of his mother and grandmothers blazing rows, he supposed.

"When I asked you, you said Kate thought the world of you and you think a great deal of her. That's all. I think a great deal of a lot of people but I certainly don't love them!"

"I need to make a call." Kate gave a faint, unconvincing smile and rushed from the room. She hesitated in the hall but then quickly made her way past the room Caroline was in and went straight for her coat and bag. She needed to get out of here, she could barely breathe.

Kate made it half way down the drive way before someone called out her name, but tears had already started to fall down her cheeks despite her determination not to let them, so she just quickened her pace.

"KATE!"

She suddenly realised it was Lawrence. Lawrence, who hated her, had followed her out. "What?" She spun around now, eyes blazing with hurt.

Lawrence hesitated, stepped back and looked down at the ground instead. "What you heard-"

"I know what I heard, Lawrence. I need to go. Tell your mother happy birthday." Kate forced out the words before she went to turn away.

"She said she loved you." Lawrence forced out with embarrassment. "Not now, not to Gran, but the other day. I was upset about you being together and I asked her if she loved you, because I didn't want to go through all this if she didn't."

Kate's footfalls stilled as she listened, but she didn't turn around.

"She said she needed you to be the one she told first. She was going to tell you tonight. She even made me wait in the car for an hour while she brought some stupid piano music book for you, to give you on _her_ birthday because she said you are part of her now and deserve celebrating just as much." Lawrence was ashamed to feel tears on his cheeks as he added, "Please don't go. Mum will be upset if you go and I hate it when she's upset. She's been so happy since she's been with you, and I know I've been horrible but I promise to be nice if you just come back inside before she notices you've gone. _PLEASE!"_

* * *

"Come on Alan, I think it's time we left." Celia marched back into the dining room and straight to the back door. After giving an apologetic smile, Alan walked after her.

"Where's Kate?" Caroline asked. She was worked up and almost in tears.

"We heard every word, mum." William offered apologetically.

Caroline's face paled even further. "..she's-" _Gone. She's left me. And it's my own fault_.

"She went upstairs with Lawrence. He was upset."

"She's still here?" Caroline asked, but didn't wait for a response as she took the stairs two at a time. "Kate?"

Inside Lawrence's room, Kate gave the boy a reassuring smile, reaching out to brush a few tears from his face.

Caroline stopped in the doorway, her face softening at the scene in front of her. "Lawrence…"

"Why does Granny have to be so horrible? Why does she have to try and ruin things all the time?!" Lawrence sniffed, wiping his face on his sleeve.

"I don't think she's ruined a thing." Kate replied before Caroline could. "All I see is that there are two more portions of dinner for a growing boy to eat, and two more desserts for a very lovely languages teacher to have."

"…1 and a half more mains and 1 dessert?" Lawrence looked hopeful now, his hot tears drying.

"Deal." Kate smiled.

Rubbing his face with his sleeve, Lawrence then gave Kate a brief hug, followed by his mother before he left the room, trudging down the stairs.

Caroline stayed in the doorway looking earnestly at Kate, unshed tears making her eyes look glassy. "Kate, what you heard-"

"It's your birthday, so no tears okay? We will talk about it another time." Kate reassured, taking one of the blonde's hands to squeeze gently.

"I haven't…haven't ruined things again?" A single tear fell down Caroline's cheek, caught quickly and brushed away by one of Kate's thumbs.

"Well, you might have ruined dessert if you don't get it out of the oven soon, but nothing else is ruined."

"Kate-" Caroline offered earnestly, trying to get more words past the lump in her throat.

Kate knew she wouldn't drop it and gave a quiet sigh. "I heard. I did leave. I was hurt that you'd tell your mother something like that. I wondered if you were just stringing me along. But then Lawrence came after me, he got through my anger and suddenly I remembered you telling me about the first time you told Celia you liked women and how she reacted. Once I thought of that, I was almost glad you hadn't told her anything more about your feelings for me. It would have felt..tainted."

"I do. I do have feelings for you, Kate." Caroline offered, a few more tears spilling.

"I know." Kate replied gently, continuing to brush away the tears. "I can't guarantee I wont go off in huff sometimes Caroline, because quite frankly you can be infuriating, but I'm always going to come back. We both know it. So don't rush yourself. I think you're being incredibly brave, and I'm honoured you've chosen to do all this with me. FOR me. So please don't push yourself into saying or doing things until YOU want to."

Caroline finally gave a watery smile, squeezing Kate's hand back. "Thank you. Thank you for being you."

"Thank you for being you, too." Kate smiled back.


	29. Grief

Of all the places she could be on a Saturday night, Caroline had no idea why she was here. In some dark pub, sitting alone in the corner on her third glass of red wine. Well, that wasn't entirely true, she knew why she was here. She would usually be at home with her boys, but William had gone out with a friend and Lawrence had begged for John to be allowed over. Caroline had relented, if only to get a smile from her youngest, but the idea of spending an evening in with John was not her idea of a relaxing night. So, she had wracked her brains to think of somewhere that she would find relaxing- nothing. Finally, in despair, she'd chosen to go to the pub. She had apparently liked it while at university, so maybe it would hold the same charm now.

It didn't. Caroline just felt more depressed than she had in a long time. Perhaps she should call Kate. Kate always- Caroline stopped then. Even thinking of the language teacher soothed her pain a little. She'd been thinking of places where she could relax, she hadn't even considered people who made her feel that way.

A glance at her watch told Caroline it wouldn't be too late to call her, but every time her finger hovered over the call button, her mind thought of reasons not to. Finally, she called a taxi instead.

* * *

"Caroline!"

"Who's at the door?!" A voice called from further into the house.

Caroline blanched. Of course Kate wouldn't be here alone, lonely like Caroline on a Saturday night. She had friends. Maybe she was even seeing someone else and Caroline had just interrupted their date. No, Kate wouldn't do that.

Caroline's internal monologue went on for so long that she didn't realise she'd stood in silence on Kate's front door step for almost a whole minute until Kate stepped a little closer, putting a hand on her arm. "Are you okay?"

"I shouldn't have come. You have company. Sorry." Caroline stepped away.

Kate gave a confused smile, reaching out again only for Caroline to take another step back. Instead, she lifted her arms to hug herself, warding off the chill of the night. "You can come in, if you like. I thought you had something planned for you and Lawrence tonight?"

"I did. I do. I should go." Caroline motioned over her shoulder only to remember she hadn't driven her jeep but had caught a taxi, the tail lights of which were disappearing around the corner.

"What's happened? Come inside, please. It's just a couple of friends, we're watching an old movie." Kate frowned with concern. She could smell alcohol on Caroline's breath and the usually immaculate head teacher was here in jeans and a crumpled shirt, not a stitch of make-up on her face.

"..I don't want to see people." Caroline finally whispered, adding hesitantly "I just wanted to see you."

Kate risked unfolding her arms to reach out again, and this time Caroline allowed the woman to take her hand. "Come inside. You could go upstairs and have a bath? The movie is almost finished, so they'll be gone soon."

"I don't want to see anyone." Caroline repeated, tears making her eyes glassy.

"I know. We'll go around and in the back door, then you can go straight up without being seen."

"…Okay." Caroline finally offered quietly. She allowed Kate to lead her around to the back door and then inside and up the stairs. She briefly wondered what Kate's friends might think of this uninvited visitor being ushered through in silence.

Kate, still looking concerned, sat Caroline down on her bed and then went in to run a bath, adding in some of the bubbles she liked after a long day at work. She returned briefly downstairs to make Caroline a cup of tea and give a quiet explanation to her friends. When she returned, she helped a completely silent Caroline get undressed and slide into the bath.

As the steam and warmth hit her and Caroline saw Kate place a mug of tea within reach, Caroline finally spoke again. "Kate?"

Kate lifted her eyes, giving a tentative smile.

"Thank you." Was all Caroline finally managed to offer, her eyes flickering shut when Kate dropped a kiss to her forehead.

"Do you want to talk about it?" Kate asked gently, using one hand to stroke blonde locks.

"…Later. Go and finish your movie."

Kate hesitated but then gave a nod. "Call if you need me."

* * *

Kate stayed downstairs until the end of the movie, if only so Caroline wouldn't feel bad for interrupting her night, but when it finished she was quick to usher her friends out the door and take the stairs two at a time to get back to her girlfriend.

Caroline was still in the same position she'd left her in, though her face had a bit more colour from the steam rising around her. She gave a faint smile when she heard Kate walk in but nothing more.

"What's happened?" Kate asked softly as she sat on the edge of the bath, putting her fingertips into the water to check that it hadn't cooled too much.

Caroline opened and closed her mouth a few times before letting out a weary sigh. "I don't know really."

"Well, what's happened since I left your house last night?" Kate tried.

"..I went to bed. Lawrence and William were already asleep, so I went to bed. I suppose I had a good sleep, I don't remember."

"Then this morning?" Kate asked gently.

"…John was in the house. Lawrence gave him back the spare key again. He had music blasting and he was making waffles with Lawrence."

"Well, there we are then. A mess in your kitchen is bound to make you feel terrible."

Caroline gave another faint smile, blue eyes opening briefly to look at Kate before they shut again. "William was upset about it, but it's not like it was any different to hundreds of other Saturday mornings we've had. But as the day wore on I just had this..this _feeling_ inside like I was going to break. I don't know how or why, I just felt it getting stronger and stronger. Then John asked me if he could stay for dinner, the special dinner I was supposed to be making Lawrence, and Lawrence begged me to say yes and…I just burst into tears. I don't know where it came from and I couldn't stop it. I just grabbed my keys and left. I was sitting in a pub for hours before I came here. It's completely stupid. I don't know why it's even happened."

"…A lot has changed in your life Caroline. The plans you had for the future have all changed and you have every right to feel emotional about that."

"But I'm _happy._ I'm properly happy for the first time in a very long time and I can look at the future and feel good about it, so I don't understand why I feel like this!" Caroline gave a frustrated huff.

Kate nibbled her lip for a moment considering her reply. "Being happy now doesn't mean you can't be sad about the past, Caroline. You had everything all planned and you were willing to sacrifice things you wanted to make that plan happen. You and John were going to grow old together, your boys were going to grow up and go to university and visit their parents every important holiday, bring the grandchildren, all to this beautiful home you'd made for them. John ruined that. So, I think that even if you are happy now, you can still mourn the life you might have had."

"..It wouldn't upset you?"

"Not one bit."

Caroline smiled again, a little stronger now, and opened her eyes to consider Kate's. "...And you don't mind me coming to your house wild-eyed and dressed terribly in the middle of the night?"

"It's hardly the middle of the night, but even if it was I wouldn't care. And you'd look magnificent even in a bin bag."

"…How did I get so lucky?"

"You just deserved happiness after everything you've sacrificed for other people."

Caroline gazed up at Kate for a long time before she gave a sigh. "I'd better go home."

"Would you…I could-"

"Would you come with me?" Caroline asked, blue eyes anxious again. "You…You make me feel-."

Kate smiled, lifting a hand to brush a damp fringe out of Caroline's eyes. "Of course I'll come."

Caroline regarded her for a moment before she offered softly, "I love you, Kate."

"Tell me that again when I've messed up your kitchen."

Caroline gave her first laugh of the day, shaking her head. "I try to be romantic and you make fun of me!"

"Need I remind you that last time you tried to be romantic you wrapped a bow onto the bonnet of your car and told me I could drive it home."

"Not just any car, my beloved jeep! That was very romantic, I'll have you know." Caroline smiled as she allowed Kate to pull her from the bath and into a large fluffy towel.

…

"I love you, too." Kate whispered into Caroline's ear as she pushed her front door key into the lock of her home a short time later.

Caroline's shoulders instantly relaxed and she looked at Kate's reflection in the glass for a moment before she pushed open the door.


	30. Hope?

**A/N:** Sorry for the delay, Uni is getting pretty intense! I've decided to just put all my one shots, happy and sad, here, because it's a chocolate selection box and that means sometimes you get a chocolate you don't much like.

This one is a little sadder and involves a miscarriage.

* * *

Caroline hadn't seen Kate in assembly. Not that this was unusual, for Kate had told her often enough how difficult it was to teach French having watched Caroline strut in her heels. Striding down the corridor, heels clicking on the floor and phone pressed to her ear, Caroline recalled with a smile Kate staring at her, having stopped playing the organ half way through a song and momentarily struck dumb until a child elbowed her.

"Caroline?" Kate finally answered breathlessly.

"Are you okay?" Caroline frowned now.

"Fine. Why are you calling?"

"Oh. Um." Caroline felt on the back foot here. Usually Kate was happy with any amount of small talk if she wasn't busy, and if she was she'd usually be full of apologies. "Y-You weren't in assembly. I just wondered if you were okay."

"I'm fine." Kate repeated.

"Right. Ok."

"…Is that all?" Kate questioned.

"Well, um… yes, I suppose so. If you're sure you're okay."

…

Caroline could barely concentrate on her work for the rest of the morning and was glad the sound of the bell gave her an excuse to walk the halls in search of Kate. It was near the library that she finally caught sight of her. "KATE!" The name came out rather too loudly and Caroline felt the warmth of a blush rise over her as the librarian glanced their way with a slight frown.

Kate looked as though she might pretend she hadn't heard, but in the end she approached the blonde looking anywhere but into her eyes. "Yes?"

"Kate." Caroline said the name softly, a gentle smile on her lips, but a frown soon creased her forehead when Kate continued to stare out the nearby window. "…Is everything okay?"

"Fine, like I said. I need to mark some work, so if that's all-" Kate motioned over her shoulder.

Caroline had never been good at this. She could get the truth about an argument out of a 15-year-old with ease, but extracting proper feelings, especially from those she cared about, was not her strong point. She opened and closed her mouth several times before letting out a frustrated sigh, finally settling on. "What's the matter?"

"Nothing."

"…Have I done something wrong?"

Kate's eyes finally met hers, if only briefly, before Kate looked at the floor. "No."

"Are you sure?"

Hearing the vulnerability in Caroline's voice, so openly shown even in the middle of a school corridor, Kate felt tears sting in her eyes.

Seeing them become glassy, Caroline spoke earnestly. "Please, Kate, tell me what the matter is. I'll fix it for you."

Kate gave the briefest smile and shook her head. "You can't fix everything, Caroline."

"Well I can try to."

"…Anna, Miss Doyle from the maths department was in early this morning."

"I know, but Beverley said she went home sick. Has she upset you?" Caroline edged a little closer, relieved Kate allowed her to.

Kate rolled her eyes at herself as she struggled to get her voice out, a tear falling freely before it was wiped away by her sleeve. "I found her in the bathroom. I only went in so no one would see me and ask me why I wasn't on my way to assembly. I saw you get out of your car this morning, and I knew what would happen if I watched you walk down the aisle wearing that skirt." Kate sniffed, beginning to look embarrassed at herself as students walked past and looked at her curiously.

Caroline was grateful that Kate let her put a hand to her upper arm and lead her slowly into a, thankfully, empty office. She shut the door before turning back to Kate, instantly rushing to her when she saw the tears now tumbling freely.

"She was having a miscarriage, Caroline. There was…there…it was everywhere, and she was crying and I couldn't do anything to help her because I was just remembering all the times its happened to me. She was terrified and I just stood there." Kate wrapped her arms around her middle protectively, feeling both guilty and relieved to still be able to feel movement there.

"Oh Kate." Caroline sighed her name, drawing her close before holding her tightly as Kate cried into her chest so pitifully that Caroline's heart ached painfully. When the sobs finally began to lessen, she drew back ever so slightly. "What..what happened to-"

"Beverley came in looking for me. She helped Anna clean up and called her husband for her. That was when you called me. I knew she would tell you eventually, and I knew you'd think about me, and I didn't want to see the look I knew you'd give me." Kate sniffed, still avoiding blue eyes.

"What look?" Caroline enquired gently, removing a hand from around Kate to begin wiping away mascara stains.

"Pity."

"Kate, I thought we established long ago that I don't do feelings." As she hoped would happen, Kate gave a soft laugh at this and finally considered Caroline's eyes. What she saw there was not the distanced pity she used to see in Richards eyes, but empathy- love and pain and worry. "Do you think you should go home for the rest of the day?" Caroline finally offered gently.

Kate nodded, returning her head briefly to Caroline's shoulder before she spoke quietly. "Could I…I don't…I couldn't teach today, but I want to be.. I want to be near you."

Caroline's eyes shut now, aware that Kate seemed to think she had some power to stop something bad from happening and also painfully aware that if something did happen, there would be nothing she could do, no one she could yell at or organise to fix things. "Ok. I will move things around, and then we can go home together?"

Kate nodded her head, only removing her hands from her middle briefly to allow Caroline's to rest there.

…

It was an hour later, sat on the new couch at the end of Caroline's office with her legs curled beneath her and a tea in her hands that Kate suddenly asked. "You will have to call her, wont you?"

Caroline was briefly confused, for she had been thinking of the baby. "Oh, Anna? I…yes, I suppose I should."

"Will you..if you…will you tell Anna I'm sorry?"

"I don't think you have anything to be sorry for, Kate, but I will if you want me to."

"...And if she wants to talk about it she can call me?" Kate offered hesitantly.

Caroline had no intention of doing so, but nodded her head anyway, not lifting her eyes from the exam timetable she was rearranging.

….

It wasn't until early that afternoon, now curled up together on the couch at home with Caroline's hands on Kate's middle protectively that Kate suddenly remembered the phone call she'd received that morning. "What..why were you calling earlier?"

"It seems silly now." Caroline shrugged, embarrassed. "...I just wanted to tell you that I had an argument with Lawrence on the way in, and he, apparently to upset me, told me that if you and I divorced, he'd go and live with you."

Kate gave a genuine, if small smile now. She and Lawrence had been getting on quite well recently, she supposed. "What did you say?"

"I reminded him how annoying you are." Caroline replied simply, relieved to feel the slight shake of Kate's body as she laughed. "Stealing people's emergency chocolate."

"One bar, and there were 5." Kate pointed out, her hands resting over Caroline's for a brief moment to move them to where she would feel the baby moving.

"Maybe I might have had a bad day and needed 5 whole chocolate bars.' Caroline responded, fingertips brushing against warm skin, both brown and blue eyes watching. "But in case of future desires, I've made up a Kate emergency stash, too."

Kate smiled, allowing her eyes to shut. "What's in it?" As Caroline talked lightly about all the things she could think of that the brunette loved, Kate rested back and began to relax. Caroline would keep their baby safe while she slept. Caroline would be able to fix things.

When she heard Kate's breathing level out and her body became heavier, Caroline allowed the tears she'd been holding in all day to fall. She couldn't fix everything. She wished she could.

But as the baby moved below her hand, seemingly following the pattern she drew with her finger tips, Caroline allowed herself a quiet hope. 32 weeks. "Not long now, princess."


	31. Kate

**A/N: Thank you so much for the absolutely lovely reviews~**

* * *

This was all completely new to Caroline. At almost 50 she was experiencing something she never even thought existed anywhere but in fiction.

Sex with John had been okay. She might even say that often it was good, very good, at least in the beginning of their relationship. But there had never been this build-up; the looks, the touches, the _feelings_ that Caroline experienced with Kate. When John looked at her in a certain way she knew he wanted sex and if she felt the same she would oblige, but really, she knew it wasn't about her, it was nothing she had done, it was hormones, or something entirely unrelated to _her._ But when Kate looked at her…

Caroline couldn't quite express how it felt, even in her own mind. Kate made her more aware of her body than she'd ever been, and the power it held over the younger woman. She knew stripping naked might have turned John on, but after 18 years of marriage they had stopped trying to seduce one another, if they'd ever really tried. But Kate…she could saunter fully clothed into a room that Kate was in and immediately hear the catch in her breathing. Sometimes when Kate looked at her she felt completely exposed, completely vulnerable, and yet powerful and sexy and _happy._

More than once now she'd taken assembly then rushed to her office so she could meet Kate, no words passing between them as one or the other was pressed against the door, hands caressing the other's body.

And unlike John, Kate wasn't in it for herself. Caroline was quite sure Kate would be happy bringing the blonde to orgasm and never having one of her own.

Not that Caroline ever let that happen, for she'd also discovered just how erotic she found Kate and the sounds she could make- the way she sighed Caroline's name, the way she called it out onto Caroline's mouth as she came undone. When she sauntered into those meetings and Kate's breath caught, Caroline would immediately feel heat rising over her cheeks, desire building in her stomach before pooling between her legs. She had gone from uninspired bedroom based sex to an almost insatiable desire for someone at all times and anywhere they might find a few minutes alone.

She felt uncontrollable. She felt wild. She felt _alive._

* * *

"Kate, are you teaching?" Caroline was barely out of her car before she had lifted the phone hopefully to her ear. After making a grudging agreement with Lawrence, she had just spent the entire long weekend at the farm, miles away from the woman who so occupied her thoughts.

"Not even a hello?" Kate asked lightly, despite the fact she was already walking towards the head's office.

"Hello, Kate. Are you teaching?" Caroline tried, holding her briefcase tightly as she opened the front door of the main building.

"You make the timetables, so you know I'm not."

Caroline smiled to herself, sticking her bottom out a little to slow the door shutting loudly which might hopefully stop anyone being aware of her arrival for at least a few minutes. "You're not making this easy, you know."

"Making what easy?" Kate asked gently. Unobserved, she had exited the wing opposite the main building and had been graced with the sight of a swaying behind, and was now following the head of the school down a corridor, thankful for her silent shoes.

Caroline huffed, switching her phone to the other ear. "Are you being deliberately obtuse?"

"Me? Obtuse? Never." Kate replied.

"Good. Are you on your way to my office?"

"I'll be there any second."

"Good." Caroline repeated as she pushed open her office door before Beverley had the chance to see her. "Because I've just spent all weekend being-" Caroline was cut off by warm lips pressing to hers hungrily, hands simultaneously taking away her phone and releasing her briefcase from her hands. Responding in kind, Caroline pushed this visitor against the door they'd just entered.

"No hello?" Caroline asked breathlessly when they were finally forced to part, resting her forehead against Kate's.

"Hello." Kate responded with a smile, her fingers stroking back hair from Caroline's forehead before tracing her jaw. "I missed you."

Caroline wasn't there yet, not quite able to convey these new emotions she'd been having, but she hoped Kate could see it in her eyes, feel it in her kiss, and she seemed to, for Kate's smile widened.

"What was it you spent all weekend being?"

"Can't remember." Caroline just smiled serenely back, her eyes shining brightly as they dropped to pursed lips. "Beverley will be in any minute with the tea."

"I'll see you here after assembly?" Kate asked.

"Will you be joining us for assembly today?" Caroline asked, her lips brushing kate's as she spoke and satisfied with the way Kate gave a soft whimper at not being kissed properly. "Because if you are it would only be fair of me to tell you…" Caroline tilted her head, her lips now moving to tickle Kate's ear as her voice lowered. "I'm not wearing any knickers."

* * *

As Caroline sat at her desk that afternoon, smiling serenely down at the paperwork she should be completing, she marvelled once more at her relationship with Kate. Would they ever tire of each other? She hoped not.

The phone ringing interrupted her thoughts. "Caroline Elliot."

'Hello, Caroline Elliot. Are you teaching?"

Caroline smiled as soon as she heard Kate's voice. No, she didn't think they'd ever tire of one another.


	32. Cleaning

Gillian sighed when she saw who was calling her. Caroline always seemed to call at the most inconvenient of times. Quickly wiping her hands on the front of her jeans, Gillian answered "Caroline."

"Gillian!" Caroline sounded so relieved that her step-sister answered that Gillian felt intrigued. "Do you happen to know anything about household appliances?"

Frowning, Gillian pulled the phone from her ear just to make sure she really was talking to Caroline. "..I've fixed a few toasters, why?"

"Well I've…I was hoping to do the vacuuming before Kate got back you see..."

"…Okay?"

"..The thing is, I can't find the vacuum manual and I can't quite work out how to start it."

Gillian bit her lip to stop herself smiling as she asked the next question, though she was quite sure of what the answer would be. "Is it new?"

Caroline sounded pained as she replied. "Not…not exactly. I just haven't used it before."

"Does Kate usually do it?" Gillian asked, unable to keep the laugh from her voice.

"Oh, you know very well I've always had a cleaner!" Caroline huffed. "Are you going to help me or not?!"

"Is there a red button on there anywhere, anything that says ON?"

"I'm not completely dense! If you're going to make fun of me-"

"No, sorry! Sorry. Look, I'll be done here in a few minutes and then I'll pop over and help you. Cleaning always happens more quickly when there are two of you, and then you can make me lunch?"

Still huffing with indignation, Caroline reluctantly agreed, wondering now just how much Gillian knew about keeping a house clean.

* * *

"I know what you're thinking." Gillian offered as she rolled her sleeves up. "What do I know about cleaning a house."

Caroline stopped making the tea to glance up at Gillian. Was she really that transparent?

"I've never taken much stock in it myself. A good sweep and occasional dust if the TV screen gets too blurry, but I know how to do it well enough. I used to work in a big hotel as a cleaner."

"Did you?!"

"No need to sound so surprised. Are you going to make that tea or will I have to do that myself?"

"Sorry! Sorry. I'm just…well, moving here has put me all out of sorts, really. I've never lived in the country."

Gillian snorted, thinking that Caroline's new house in the middle of town was hardly country, but luckily the blonde missed the noise and just poured the milk into the tea.

"You'll get used to it. You and Kate wanted a fresh start, and Lawrence seems to love it."

"He does, doesn't he?" A fond smile found its way to Caroline's lips.

Rolling her eyes as she smiled, Gillian started the vacuum cleaner- by pressing the red button that said 'ON'.

* * *

"You've finally unpacked your books!" Were Kate's fist words as she walked into the house that evening.

"I did say I was going to." Caroline pointed out before she dropped a tender kiss to Kate's lips. "How is your dad?" They had argued the night before, Caroline wanting to drive her and Kate adamant she was well enough now to drive herself.

Kate just shrugged, as she always did when Caroline asked. "Have you cleaned, too?"

"Flora decided to be an angel today after keeping us up all night, so I didn't have much else to do." Caroline smiled ruefully, aware that any moment Gillian would appear and tell Kate that in fact Caroline had done very little cleaning and more instructing from afar.

"I suppose I will get to see you in that frilly pinny after all." Kate smiled, hanging up her coat and with it all her worries about her father. She had promised herself she wouldn't let her worry or sadness about him impact this new life they had. This new, happy, stress free (mostly) life.

"Are you two talking bedroom outfits again?" Gillian asked loudly as she walked into the hallway, a smiling Flora into her arms.

Surging forward with a grin, Kate took the little girl into her own arms and dropped kisses all over the squirming baby's face.

"It was me in the frilly pinny, anyway. Head Teacher here just yelled orders from the kitchen while gazing at her new aga." Gillian grinned mischievously at Caroline and received a glare in return.

"I wouldn't expect any less." Kate responded, giving Gillian a pointed look as she offered, "I like her to keep those hands in tip top condition."

As she sauntered from the room and Gillian looked at Caroline open mouthed, the blonde just smirked.

* * *

"Did Gillian really do all the cleaning?" Kate asked her wife that night as they readied for bed.

"..Most of it. I called her because I couldn't work out how to turn the vacuum on."

"You didn't think to press the red button that says 'ON'?" Kate laughed, stopping instantly when Caroline looked mortified.

"I looked for one, but I didn't see it!" Caroline offered indignantly.

Deciding to leave the teasing to another time when she had more energy, Kate reached out and pulled her wife into bed. She had been adamant they didn't need a cleaner, had been horrified at the very suggestion of paying for something she knew she could do easily, but now she supposed Caroline would always want to do it, worried about Kate pushing herself too far too early. "I suppose employing a cleaner would leave us more time together as a family."

Smiling with satisfaction, Caroline kissed her wife and then settled into her pillow. "I'll look for one tomorrow. Now, tell me about your dad."

Sighing, Kate rested her cheek against Caroline's chest and began to talk about her day.


	33. New Years Eve- Part 1

Sitting in the booth she'd picked because it was in the quietest spot of the room, Caroline surveyed the people around. Everyone looked in good spirits, full of smiles and kisses and hugs, enjoying time with friends and lovers. Well, it is New Year's Eve, she supposed. Everyone always enjoyed New Year's Eve. Except her.

Usually it involved John getting royally drunk very early in the day, so drunk that she was forced to cancel any plans they'd made to go out in the evening. In more recent years, it had also involved arguments with Lawrence about where he'd go and what he'd do. William had never been one for parties, thankfully, so she could always rely on getting a hug from her eldest as the clocked chimed midnight.

Earlier in the year, she'd allowed herself the pleasure of imagining what New Year's Eve might be like with Kate by her side- would they go out? Kate had so many friends that she was sure to be invited somewhere. Or perhaps they'd stay at home, just the two of them curled up together in bed and oblivious to the sounds of midnight fireworks. But then, as they always did, things went wrong. Well, in truth it was she who went wrong, did the wrong thing and ruined what had barely even started.

So now, instead of being at home cleaning up John's sick, instead of being at home in bed with Kate, she had been dragged out by her step-sister to some awful club that at no age would she ever have enjoyed, surrounded by happy smiling people as her world fell apart.

Caroline allowed herself to wallow even deeper when the two women in the booth beside her own suddenly began to kiss one another. Once that might have been her. Her and Kate. Sighing, Caroline's eyes searched the room for Gillian once more. Perhaps she could be persuaded to leave.

But then her eyes caught sight of the last person she expected to see. Kate. Kate was here. Her Kate. Kate who wasn't her Kate any longer. She wore a wrap dress that just hinted at the small roundness her middle now had, and she was sat at the bar looking about as miserable as Caroline was sure she herself looked.

Caroline's back stiffened and her thoughts paused as a woman came to sit beside Kate, putting an arm around her as she placed a martini glass in front of the brunette. Kate waved her hand, briefly indicated to her middle, but the woman seemed insistent, pushing the glass a little closer. Caroline wondered if this was a friend of Kates. Perhaps someone even closer. Perhaps someone who now resided in the special place that Caroline herself once had.

Whoever she was, Caroline instantly disliked her. She knew, even from the distance they now had at school, how careful Kate was being about her pregnancy. She knew how Kate must have battled with herself about coming out on such a busy night of the year rather than staying in the warm safety of her home.

…

Kate smiled again, though it was forced this time, and she pushed the glass away. "No, thank you. I'm fine with my orange juice."

"Oh, come on. It's New Year's Eve! One drink really wont hurt." The woman insisted, pushing the glass a little closer again. She'd been watching Kate all night trying to muster up the courage to talk to her, and now she was here she wasn't going to give up. "I had several drinks while pregnant with my eldest, and she's perfectly normal."

"I'm glad." Kate pushed the drink away again. She would have considered leaving the bar at this point, but all her friends had disappeared god knows where and this was the only seat she'd been able to find where she could rest her aching feet.

"How about-" The woman began, but she was cut off by the bartender appearing with a mug holding a liquid warm enough to send a small tendril of steam in the air.

"Hot chocolate, courtesy of a snotty bitch." The female bartender smiled. "But don't tell anyone, it's not exactly what we're supposed to serve at 11pm on New Year's Eve."

Eyebrows lifting in surprise, Kate's eyes briefly scanned the other patrons of the bar, but was unable to see anyone she recognised. It had to be Caroline, surely, but why would she be here on a night like tonight? She'd hate it.

"Not a very celebratory drink." Her companion laughed as Kate wrapped her grateful hands around the mug.

"Perhaps a little more celebratory than a martini for a pregnant woman, wouldn't you say?" A smooth voice suddenly asked from behind them, a delicate hand reaching out to lift the martini glass from the bar.

Taking a sip of it, Caroline wrinkled her nose in distaste and returned the drink to its spot. "Especially one made with cheap gin."

Huffing with indignation, the woman stood to confront the blonde who had interrupted her conversation with Kate, but then looked entirely stunned when the blonde just gave a sweet smile and took the seat for herself before leaning forward to take Kate's hand.

"I'm sorry I'm late, darling."

Caroline held Kate's hand for precisely as long as it took for the suiter to return to her friends, thoroughly annoyed, before she released it gently. "Sorry. I just...she seemed a little insistent, and I know you'd be too kind to tell her to leave you alone."

Kate stayed silent for a moment, looking at the woman before her. Someone had clearly taken the time to choose an outfit for her that flattered her figure, but she knew instantly that it hadn't been Caroline who had put in the effort, for her face was devoid of make-up, the make-up that Caroline used as armour and never left the house without. Kate's eyes lifted briefly to study the freckled forehead. She thought Caroline was even more beautiful without her mask.

"Sorry." Caroline repeated when no words were offered, but as she went to stand Kate's hand shot out to capture hers again.

"I didn't think this was your sort of place." Kate offered softly.

Finally given a chance to have a conversation with Kate after weeks of silence, Caroline considered her words before offering, "It's not. Gillian invited me and wouldn't take no for an answer."

Kate gave a briefest smile then. "I can think of nothing nicer than my bed right now, but I promised I'd stay until midnight."

"I've…we've got a booth if you'd like to come and sit there? It's probably more comfortable than a bar stool." Caroline offered, trying to keep the hope from her voice.

Kate glanced at the hot chocolate, then at Caroline, and then gave a nod, standing up.

Caroline wasn't entirely sure how to lead the way through the throng of people between them and the booth, but was saved by Kate placing a hesitant hand in hers. Tightening her grip, Caroline led the way further into the back of the club.

"The VIP section on the biggest night of the year, Caroline! I didn't realise you had such connections!" Kate teased, and Caroline's heart swelled.

"Beverley's nephew owns the place, apparently." Caroline offered as they sat down.

"Well she's a dark horse." Kate took a sip of the hot chocolate and shut her eyes as the warmth flowed through her.

Blue eyes watched her intently and didn't look away when she opened her eyes. In fact, it was only a breathless Gillian throwing herself down about two minutes later that seemed to break the moment they were having.

"God, I feel old! Did you know there are actually organised dance moves you're supposed to do on the dancefloor these days?" Gillian moaned, taking a swig of her beer.

Caroline gave Kate a faint smile of apology, and was surprised when Kate gave her a warm smile back.

"They've always been around, it's only those of us who partied in the 80's who thrash about with abandon on the dancefloor." Kate offered.

Perking up, Gillian looked at this new woman with interest. "I'm Gillian, Caroline's step-sister who got all the looks."

"Kate."

"Kate?" Gillian turned to look at Caroline with confusion. "Kate Kate? Love of your life, reason you're a moody cow Kate?"

Caroline blushed, unable to meet anyone's eye as she replied, "Kate Kate."

"Well." Gillian rested back, apparently thinking of saying something smart, but in the end decided instead to slip from the booth. "I'll leave you two to talk."


	34. New Years Eve- Part 2

It seemed like an age before either women spoke, though in reality it was probably only seconds before they both spoke at once.

"You look lovely." Began Caroline as Kate offered, "I need to tell you something."

Both women looked at one another, startled, then Caroline was the first to speak. "Tell me what?"

Kate looked down at her drink, willing herself to have courage. She'd considered this conversation so many times, what she might say and what Caroline might say in return, but never had she expected it to happen like this. Now, she took a deep breath and placed a hand on her middle.

Seeing this, Caroline looked panicked. "The baby? Is it okay? Is it something to do with the baby?"

Kate glanced up now, noticing again how much bright blue eyes had seemed to fade over the last few weeks. "The baby is okay." From habit, she added, "For now."

Caroline looked pained, reaching across for Kate's hand before she remembered her place and drew it back. "I-If it's work, If you're not happy with your replacement, I can-"

"It's not work." Kate replied, swallowing down the lump in her throat. "It's us."

Caroline went silent then, pale blue eyes gazing back at Kate with a mix of worry and confusion.

"I was…I…before the baby, when we'd decided…I went to a fertility doctor that I used the last time with Richard. They gave me hormone injections for a few weeks before the…before the hotel. I wanted the best chance of getting pregnant." Kate stared at her drink so she wouldn't have to see the look on Caroline's face. "I just…I feel I owe you an explanation. I didn't tell you at the time because I didn't think you were interested in having a baby with me, not really."

"That's not true." Caroline cut in softly. "I just wasn't happy about the…process you'd chosen."

The only acknowledgement Kate gave that Caroline had spoken was a slight nod before she drew a breath and continued. "I was…you did hurt me by booking the separate rooms, but-"

"I was a-" Caroline began earnestly, but was cut off by Kate lifting her hand to silence her.

"But I over-reacted. I can't say I understand, but I've had time to think about it, and I…I think I was expecting too much of you too soon. You were making progress, and I was just trying to force it to happen quicker, I suppose. But the injections…they made my hormones race and I could barely think straight and I'd just imagined this weekend of just you and I talking and I so wanted to spend time alone with you, and then you…" Kate sighed, pausing then before she lifted her eyes, looking almost defiant as she offered, "I just wanted to say I'm sorry."

Of all the things Caroline had expected, it was not this. She had spent weeks hating herself for her behaviour, for always being the one to ruin things, and now Kate was in front of her saying it wasn't her fault. Well, not entirely her fault. "W-Why are you saying this now? It's been weeks."

"Because I allowed myself to hate you. I reminded myself of all the things you'd done wrong, and I allowed myself to hate you." Kate offered honestly.

"And tonight?" Caroline asked quietly.

"Tonight, I remembered why I love you. "

"…If I had known all it would take was getting rid of someone for you, I'd have-" Caroline began her usual defence against feelings, humour, but Kate shook her head.

"Not that. This." Kate held onto her mug of hot chocolate. "And going out somewhere I know you're not comfortable because you couldn't say no to Gillian. And not wearing an inch of make up."

"I don't understand." Caroline offered with a faint smile of confusion.

"… I've seen you again. The real you. The one who tries to do the best for everyone, the one who never does things for herself, the one who is terrified of people thinking bad things of her despite this perfect costume she puts on every day. The one who has the most perfect freckles on her face." Kate listed, gazing intently into blue eyes that seemed suddenly to be getting their colour back. "The you who is terrified to love me but does anyway."

"I do." Caroline offered in earnest.

"I know." Kate replied gently.

* * *

"Caroline! Caroline, it's almost midnight! And you said we would be home and in bed by ten!" Gillian laughed as she yelled, weaving her way back towards the booth. "Caroline!"

But Caroline didn't hear a word, just like Kate hadn't heard a word when her friends had called to her a moment earlier.

For as the countdown began, Caroline was doing what she'd been jealous of others for doing, doing what she had barely dared to imagine herself doing at midnight on New Year's Eve.

Caroline was kissing Kate. Her Kate.

An as the clock struck midnight, as fireworks went off and people began hugging their loved ones, Kate was right where she needed to be. Home. For Home was Caroline.


	35. Honeymoon

A/N: can you tell I have an assignment due? I'm an award winning procrastinator!

Thank you so much for the lovely reviews!

* * *

Caroline lay staring up at the ceiling. She'd intended a brief sit down but had got so comfortable she couldn't imagine wanting to get up ever again.

Kate jumped when a sudden laugh erupted from the couch, but found herself unable to not smile at the pink cheeked, perfectly happy face that greeted her when she looked over the back of it. "What's so funny?"

Caroline grinned at the face above her and let out a little happy sigh. She'd been doing a lot of those lately, everyone had noticed. "I was just remembering something I said to John." She may have held back from talking about an ex-husband with some people, but not Kate. Kate didn't have a jealous bone in her body.

As Caroline had expected to happen, Kate's smile widened and she crossed her arms on the back of the couch, resting on them. "What was it?"

"Remember that time my mum and Alan went missing?" Caroline lifted a hand to her hair.

"Yeah." Kate replied, lowering one arm to fix Caroline's hair for her before instantly messing it up again. She loved it when Caroline's hair was messy.

"When I got home that night, after I'd come to your place.." Caroline's voice faded for a moment, her eyes going a little foggy as she remembered that evening, the first time they'd-

"Caroline." Kate prompted, stroking a finger down her wife's cheek and doing nothing to help bring her back from the memories she was having. "what did you say?"

Giving a little, happy sigh, Caroline replied, "I told him that if I loved and trusted someone enough to have sex with them, I wanted them here where I could have them. Any time I wanted them."

"Telling your ex-husband you love me before you ever told me." Kate noted, though she still wore a smile on her lips.

"That's not the point of the story. The point of the story is now I have you here, and I want you, and I can have you." Caroline's hand came to rest over Kate's which still rested against her cheek.

"Can you?" Kate questioned softly.

Caroline's only response was to push herself up, slowly capturing Kate's lips.

…

Three hours later, unpacking Kate's things had been entirely forgotten, and mugs of tea were now on the table. Kate lay naked under a warm blanket, watching as Caroline, clad in a dressing gown of very thin material, paced a little as she ordered dinner over the phone. "No, I said no nuts, not no seafood. Why would I say no seafood when she's allergic to nuts, for heaven's sake?!"

Barely listening to the conversation, only able to focus on the movement of breasts under pink satin and the flash of milky thigh when Caroline strode towards the kitchen in annoyance, Kate was out of her warm cocoon in an instant, eager for the warmth of another.

"Look, if you can't accommodate that, just tell me!" Caroline snapped into the phone. "Because I-" Whatever she'd thought of to say next died on her lips as Kate walked into the room, long strides bringing her to Caroline in only a second before the phone was abandoned somewhere on the kitchen bench top as Kate pushed her wife against it, undoing the pink silk tie so she capture the breasts beneath it that had so captured her attention.

…

"What time will the boys be back?" Kate asked as she leant against the doorframe watching Caroline clean the kitchen for the hundredth time that morning.

"In the next half an hour sometime. And now apparently Gillian, Alan and my mum are coming for lunch, too. They think they can just tell me instead of asking." Caroline paused suddenly, looking up. "Do you think they'll be able to tell?"

Sometimes even Kate couldn't keep up with the speed of her wife's thoughts. "Tell what?"

"That we've had sex in every room in the house." Caroline looked mortified at the thought.

"…Not every room. Not the boy's rooms, not the laundry. Not the study, either, come to think of it, though I did have a sensational orgasm in there thinking about you the other day while you were at work. Do you think that counts?" Kate asked conversationally.

"You did?" Caroline asked breathlessly, a familiar glazed look coming over her face for a moment before she managed, just, to push it away. "That's not the point."

"They won't notice a thing, Caroline! And besides, we were on our honeymoon, so I'm sure they expected us to-"

"Oh god. So my…my mother will know I've had sex."

"I think perhaps she knows you've had sex before, Caroline." Kate offered dryly before she finished her glass of water and rested it back on the coaster that Caroline had put out.

"I think I might die when she looks at me." Caroline nodded in agreement with herself.

"Knowing you had sex with the woman you're married to would not shock your mother, Caroline. Knowing you had sex on the couch she's sitting on and that you came so hard you almost soaked the cushion, however-" Kate teased.

"Oh god!"

Placing a hand onto Caroline's cheeks so she was forced to look at her, Kate offered the blonde a gentle smile. "Relax. No one will know a thing."

Studying Kate's calm brown eyes soothed Caroline, and by the time a car pulled up in the driveway she was emitting her little happy sighs again as Kate dropped a tender kiss to her lips and then led her to the front door.

…

"So, what did you two get up to on your honeymoon?" Gillian asked halfway through dinner.

"Oh, not a lot, really." Kate offered, stroking her thumb over Caroline's hand that held tightly to hers. "We did a bit of decorating in the nursery…"

 _We did a bit of decorating and then had sex in the nursery_ , Caroline silently corrected.

"We unpacked my books and put them onto the new bookshelf in the lounge room…"

 _We put away her books and then had sex up against them, followed by sex on the couch_ , Caroline added in her mind.

"I got covered in paint and had to have the world's longest bath…"

 _Kate got paint on her being pressed against the wall as I brought her to orgasm, and then she had another in the bathtub, her feet slipping endlessly against the sides of the tub as she struggled for purchase while she cried out_ , Caroline thought.

"And I added a few of my favourite things to the kitchen." Her eye caught Caroline's as she finished, and both looked away instantly, biting back smiles.

"Well. That sounds lovely and relaxing. Just what you both needed, I'm sure." Celia offered, giving her daughter a fond smile. With Kate so pregnant, they couldn't have expected to have had a honeymoon like her and Alan's, she supposed. They'd had sex in every room of the house, after all!


	36. Lawrence

Kate was entirely regretting agreeing to do yard duty so soon after coming back to work. She'd spent months cooped up in a hospital room and then at home, and though she protested when Caroline tried to wrap her in cotton wool, she had to admit she needed it. Now, asserting her independence as she was wont to do, Kate had agreed at the meeting that morning that she'd take over the yard duty of a colleague out sick. Though she'd seen Caroline's disapproving look out the corner of her eye, Kate refused to look her way.

But now, ten minutes into half an hour of yard duty, Kate's back ached, she was limping a little with her bad leg, and, used to being fit, she was dismayed to find herself a little breathless.

A sit down for a moment wouldn't be noticed though, surely? And she could see those playing a game, so she could keep an eye on things from the bench. Lowering herself down gingerly, Kate was surprised to find the shadow of pupil fall over her, even more surprised when she looked up to find Lawrence falling onto the bench beside her.

"…Everything okay?" She ventured when Lawrence stared straight ahead.

"…Mum's going to be annoyed that you're doing yard duty." Lawrence observed.

"The alternative was sitting alone in the staffroom with old Mrs Williams telling me all about her goldfish."

"Mum's amazed that they've lasted twenty years. One day someone will have to break it to her that Mrs Williams replaces them when they die." Lawrence gave a faint smile when Kate laughed. He liked being able to make her laugh, he'd decided recently. It was nice to have someone to laugh about his mum with who wasn't being mean like his dad.

"Celia told me the other day that your mum believed in the tooth fairy until she went to high school." Kate offered, tapping her shoulder gently against Lawrence's as he laughed. "But if you tell either of them I told you, I'll deny it!"

"Fair enough." Lawrence nodded, looking down at his shoes again. He rarely really looked at his shoes, but now he noticed ow worn down they were. His mum had told his dad to buy him a new pair, but his dad had told him he didn't have enough money and to tell his mum he didn't want a new pair. He hated when they passed messages to each other through him.

"Is everything okay?" Kate's voice suddenly broke through his thoughts.

He considered shrugging or walking away without a word as he might have done in the past, but was mortified to feel dampness on his cheeks. Though quickly scrubbed away, he knew Kate had seen them. "It's Sam."

"What is?" Kate questioned gently when nothing else was forthcoming.

"…You know Milly in my year?"

"Yeah." Kate nodded, trying to keep her voice neutral so as not to scare him off.

"We went on a sort of…I took her to the movies last weekend when I was staying at Dad's. I didn't tell mum about it, because Milly is on a scholarship and lives on that estate, and she'd say she doesn't want me to hang around her."

Kate itched to defend Caroline but decided to stay quiet.

"It was okay until Dad picked us up. He was drunk."

"He was drink driving with you in the car?" Kate cut in.

Lawrence hesitated. Usually he would defend his father, but he'd really upset him that night, so instead he just continued with his story. "He said some really embarrassing and stupid things, and once we dropped Milly off she said she didn't want to go out with me again."

"..And how does Sam fit into this?"

"He knows I like her, but after I told him what happened, he asked her out, and now I've just seen they're official on facebook." Lawrence sniffed, annoyed at the wobble in his voice. He knew Kate would think it was trivial, that it didn't matter, just like his mum would think.

Kate was silent for a moment, collecting her thoughts. She knew Lawrence was trusting her with something, and what she said might influence their future relationship. "I don't think Sam was being a very good friend doing that."

Lawrence lifted his head, surprised.

"But you know what? I don't think Milly was being very nice, either. Your father's behaviour isn't your fault. And she should have realised that going out with one of your best friends so soon would be hurtful. So I think you're probably better off without both of them. There are plenty of other girls here who would jump at the chance to date Lawrence Elliot!"

"Really?"

"Last week, I saw Jessica in year 10 drawing your name all over her notebook." Kate smiled at her stepson. How she and Caroline had laughed over that when Kate had brought out the notebook to correct the girl's homework.

Lawrence went quiet then, thinking about the quiet girl who sat at the front of his English class.

"..Before you run off to talk to her, I don't suppose you could help me inside, could you? I think my legs have just about given up."

* * *

Once Kate was deposited in his mother's office and his mother was alternating between barking orders at someone over the phone and fussing over Kate as she massaged her leg, Lawrence headed towards the door, but quickly realised he'd forgotten to ask Kate not to tell his mother about their conversation.

When he turned back towards her, Kate gave him a smile and shook her head. She always seemed to know what he was thinking.

This two mum thing wasn't too bad after all, he decided. Especially when one of them was Kate McKenzie.


	37. Camping and Birthdays

**A/N: Just a random story with no real reason or plot! No idea where it came from, but enjoy and thank you as always for the lovely reviews!**

* * *

"Dr. Mckenzie-Dawson, may I have a word?"

Caroline smiled down at her paperwork, not lifting her eyes at the interruption. "You're the only person who calls me that, you know."

"Am I?"

"Mm. Apparently, the collective school attendees have decided to shorten it to Dr. McKenzie. The other day I even heard myself being referred to as Kate McKenzie's wife!"

"Well!" Kate exclaimed as she sat on the opposite side of the desk. "I expect that's a bit of a come down for you. If it makes you feel any better, one of the new boys was convinced by his friends that I'm so fierce I can even make the dragon of a head teacher scared."

Caroline gave a loud laugh at this. "They probably saw me running from the room before you entered the other day so I wouldn't have to explain what happened to your piano seat."

"You still haven't explained that one to me." Kate reminded her.

"Yes, well, is there a reason for your visit today, or did you just require the pleasure of my company?" Caroline finally looked up, glasses lowered so she could see Kate properly.

"Nice try, but I'll be bringing it up again and again until you tell me." Kate replied with a smirk. "I've come to talk to you about your mother."

"Oh, what's she done now?" Caroline pulled her glasses off and pinched the top of her nose. Talking about her mother always gave her a headache.

"Nothing, surprisingly. I was just talking to Lawrence and he said it was her birthday soon, so I wondered what I should get her."

The frown on the blonde's face softened and she gazed at the woman in front of her in silence for a moment. She really was an utterly lovely human being. "You don't have to get her anything, Kate. She certainly hasn't earned anything where you're concerned."

"That's not fair. She's been civil to me, which is more than she used to be. We even had coffee the other day and she asked me if I thought you'd like her to watch a movie about lesbians with you."

Caroline gave a mixture of a snort and a laugh at this news. "Can you imagine? That would be the most uncomfortable two hours of my life. She'd probably ask me at the end which one of us prefers to be the man, thinking she's all progressive."

Kate smiled as Caroline laughed again. "My point is, she's making an effort, so I want to as well!"

"You're too kind for your own good, Kate McKenzie." Caroline smiled fondly across the desk. "I'll think of a few things and let you know."

"Right, thank you." Kate pushed herself up from the chair.

She was half way towards the door before Caroline suddenly asked, "Why were you talking to Lawrence?"

"Do you want the bad news or the even worse news?" Kate asked, leaning against the closed door.

"Oh, however it comes." Caroline wondered if they'd ever tire of rehashing the same lines to one another. Seeing Kate's smile every time she remembered, she hoped not.

"He wanted me to butter you up so you'd say yes to him going camping with John."

"John wants to go camping?!"

"And the even worse news is that he has invited you, too."

"ME?! CAMPING?!"

"Ants, mosquitos, digging your own toilet-" Kate began.

"oh, stop it. I'll have nightmares." Caroline muttered, rubbing her forehead. "John really wants to take him camping?"

"Apparently." Kate gave a gentle shrug. "If you said yes, we'd have the house to ourselves for the weekend…"

"Yes, thank you, you can stop now.. I'll talk to him about it later and tell him you did your best for him." Caroline slid her glasses back on. "Camping?!"

* * *

"I hear Lawrence and John are going camping." Celia offered by way of greeting as she entered the house a day later.

"Mm. I don't like the idea, but Lawrence and Kate came up with a contingency plan for every eventuality, so I had to say yes." Caroline replied, not taking her eyes off the TV. "Can you believe that John actually invited me too?"

"You?! Well. I can imagine Kate going, I suppose, but not you. You come up in hives if you're near any foliage for too long." Celia sat beside her daughter. "What are you watching?"

Caroline had to bite her lip to stop herself grinning when she remembered Kate's story the day before. "It's just a documentary that head of history wants the students to watch, and I've got to assess how appropriate it is."

"How is it doing so far?"

"Well, no nudity, swearing or sex, so I'd say okay so far. Is there something you wanted?"

"…It's Kate's birthday soon, isn't it? Only I remember you had that falling out around this time last year."

"It's in two weeks." Caroline replied shortly. That weekend away was still a sore spot for her.

"What do you think I should get her? Only I don't want it to seem…odd. Alan said some sheet music, but I've no idea where to get that, or what sort she'd like."

"..You know what I'd think she'd like more than a present, mum? Your time. Your kindness. Kate is a lovely, kind-hearted person, and I think if you got to know her properly, you two could be very good friends. You know she came to me the other day asking me what she should get you for your birthday?"

Celia had the decency to look a little shamed at that. "She shouldn't get me a thing, I don't deserve anything."

"That's what I said, but she was adamant."

"What did you tell her to get me?"

"Oh, some lesbian erotic novels and the Kamasutra."

"You never?!"

"No, mother." Caroline smiled. "I told her to take you out somewhere for lunch. I told her that deep…deep inside you are a lovely, kind-hearted person and that I think you two could be very good friends."

"Well. As long as she doesn't take me somewhere cheap, I suppose."

"Very, very deep down." Caroline muttered to herself.


	38. Mother

**A/N: A very short one for you, because I forgot where I was going with the rest of it!**

 **I'm happy to write the whole of Season 4, 5, 6... someone write the BBC and get me on the staff!**

 **As a side note, I'm Australian but my parents moved here in the 70s from the UK, and I've just (rather belatedly) had the talk about where they were from, and it turns out my Mum is from Sheffield! Fancy myself as a bit of a Yorkshire lass now :P** **Also, I will write endless fiction for anyone who wants to put me up so I can travel there!**

* * *

"Why is it that every time you look at me recently you're reminded to call your mother?" Kate asked as she sat down on the couch with a groan.

Caroline smiled as she picked up her mobile, glasses on the end of her nose. "Would you kill me if I said you are just like her?"

"Yes." Kate responded instantly, lying back to rest her head on the cushion.

Caroline's smile widened as she joined her, lifting the brunette's legs so she could sit down before resting them in her lap, one had moving instantly to caress Kate's baby bump. "I just always think what a good mother you're going to be, how supportive and so unlike my mother you'll be. And then I think of her, and that I haven't called her, which means if and when I do call her she'll apologise for being a bother and- mum!"

Kate smiled as she watched Caroline roll her eyes and cover the mouth piece a moment later to mimic Celia saying, "Oh, well it's lovely of you to call. I don't like to be a bother."

Shutting her eyes, Kate listened to Caroline's voice as she drifted into a daydream of their little baby.

Though this baby had seemed real to her from the very moment of conception, she only seemed to have cemented herself in Caroline's mind since the last ultrasound. Suddenly, Caroline had been both in a panic and in rapture, wanting to both buy everythng they might need for the next 18 years all at once while at the same time telling just about everyone they met about the baby.

And as for Kate's baby bump, Caroline used to stroke it on occassion, or look at it with a face Kate could never read, but now her hand rested there whenever it could, and Kate had even woken on occassion to Caroline reading to the bump, though she denied this furiously.

In the staff meeting that morning, Kate's last before going on maternity leave, Caroline had passed up her usualy spot at the head of the table to sit beside Kate, her free hand stroking Kate's bump adoringly.

"What are you thinking about?" Caroline's face appeared suddenly beside her as the blonde settled herself against the back of the couch and slid her hand under Kate's top to caress warm skin.

"You."

"Good thoughts?"

"Oh, very."

"...Was it about that bike, because-"

"Caroline! She's not even born yet, she does not need a bike for a 5 year old, no matter how cute you think it is!"

* * *

"I gave up after that. Frankly it's just depressing losing a driving game to someone who can barely see over the steering wheel." Kate offered as she reached for the salad bowl.

"I'm almost as tall as you!" Lawrence responded, managing to reach the bowl just before Kate so he could dish up all his favourite bits before she got them.

"Well, age speaking. You can't even get your driver's licence for another year." Kate pointed out, still smarting from her Mario Kart defeat.

"Or never, if mum gets her way. She already told me she won't let me practice in the jeep." Lawrence grumbled before lifting his head to look at Kate with renewed interest. "You've got a car."

"Oh, I do, but I'll probably have to sell it soon to buy more avocado if you're going to eat the whole bloody bowlful."

"Mum, Kate swore."

"Hmm?" Caroline glanced up from the file she was reading.

"Kate swore."

"I did not." Kate pulled the salad bowl towards her plate.

"Did bloody too." Lawrence responded.

"Don't swear, Lawrence." Caroline mumbled, smiling to herself at the talk going on over the table as Lawrence began grumbling about her response and Kate teased him. "Oh, that reminds me, I should call mum."

Kate stopped, lifting her head to look at Caroline incredulously. "Again?!"

"Sorry." Caroline shrugged, picking up her phone with a grin.

"Again what?" Lawrence asked, mouth full.

"Don't talk with your mouth full." Kate pointed out.

"I should probably call my Aunty Muriel, too." Caroline responded, managing to get away from Kate just in time as she tried to swat her with a napkin.

...

"I'm not talking to you." Kate advised as Caroline sat down on the bed a short while later.

"Why not?" Caroline asked, frowning down at the face wipe she'd used to remove her make up, belatedly remembering she had been at home the whole day and hadn't actually put a stitch of makeup on.

"Not only do I remind you of your mother, but now apparently your aunt as well. I'll probably resemble your whole bloody family before this baby is born." Kate huffed.

"Oh, not my whole family." Caroline offered sweetly, leaning across to kiss Kate's cheek fondly. "My Cousin Catherine is- oh, that reminds me, I havent call her about the baby. Hang on." Caroline pulled back, searching for her phone on the night stand as Kate rolled her eyes, grumbled, and then switched her light off.


	39. Pain

**A/N: I've just finally braced myself and watched the rest of series 3. I'm so sorry for this next bit of writing.**

* * *

Ginika was surprised to see Caroline waiting for her at luggage pick up offering a nervous smile. She'd seen photos in the past, and kate had assured her that her wife was even more glorious in person, but the woman before her today looked pale, tired, and as though she carried the worries of the world on her shoulders.

After stilted greetings, Caroline led Kate's mother back to her car, twice forgetting where she'd parked it and leaving Ginika unsure whether she should allow the blonde to drive.

The ride was done in complete silence, Caroline's mind miles away and Ginika worried about distracting her more than she already was. It wasn't until they were actually inside the hospital that Caroline spoke more than a couple of words to her. They were stood outside the nursery window, and Caroline motioned to where the McKenzie-Dawson baby had been lying, except there was nothing there but an empty space.

Tears held just at bay had immediately burst forward, Caroline shaking with fear. "Where is she?! What's happened?!"

It had taken two nurses to calm her down, reassuring Caroline that the baby was perfectly fine.

Eager to see her daughter, Ginika had edged a still shaking Caroline towards the unit where Kate lay, but Caroline made it only to the ward door before she shook her head.

"I'll need to…I should go and wash my face. You go through."

Ginika had nodded, wondering briefly if Caroline had even actually visited Kate yet. Entering the room quietly, she saw that it might be too much for her. There were wires everywhere, machines beeping, and Kate lay back on white sheets, her eyes shut. The baby lay by her side, between her arm and her body.

"Bonding time." The kindly nurse had smiled at her.

Ginika had waited until the nurse left before she approached the bed, stroking the soft hair on her grand-daughters head for a moment before she finally looked at her daughter. "Hello, darling. Mummy's here."

* * *

Standing outside the hospital room door, Caroline drew in a deep breath and then released it slowly. She lifted a hand briefly to her face to make sure her make up was still offering proper coverage, and then opened the door.

Ginikia jumped when the door opened, but gave Caroline a smile. "She's beautiful."

"She is." Caroline agreed, though her eyes were on the woman in the bed and not the baby Ginika now held in her arms.

"Have you been crying?"

"No." The deepness of Caroline's voice belied her and she felt tears beginning to prickle and sting her already reddened eyes.

"Caroline." Kate, sitting up just a little, just as much as she could without pain at the moment, reached out a hand to her wife, a frown of concern on her forehead.

"I'm fine. You don't need to worry about me." Caroline forced a smile to her lips, sniffed, and then moved to the seat next to Ginika's, finally letting her eyes drop to the baby. "She looks just like her mother, don't you think?"

"Which one?" Ginika asked kindly.

This seemed one too many kindnesses for Caroline and her tears began to fall in earnest as she fled from the room, the banging of the door making the baby cry.

"Sorry." Ginika offered as she put the fussy infant back into her mother's arms, smiling gently when she was instantly soothed by Kate whispering something to her.

"Will you go and check on her? She's barely slept since it happened, and she wont talk to me about anything." Kate dearly wished she could go after her wife, offer reassurances that she was fine, that the baby was fine, but even if she were able to get out of her bed, she knew Caroline wouldn't listen to her.

Kissing her daughter's forehead, Ginika slipped from the room.

* * *

"I'm so sorry." Caroline sniffed as soon as her mother-in-law entered the bathroom. She was scrubbing her face with a paper towel, making her cheeks begin to look pink and sore.

"It's fine. It's understandable."

"I promised I wouldn't cry, and yet it's all I seem to be doing." Caroline admitted, scrunching up the paper before glaring at herself critically in the mirror. As Ginika went to speak, though, she continued, anger now present in her voice. "How the hell did I let this happen?"

"..Crying is normal, It-"

"I promised to look after her, after them both, and not 24 hours later they both almost die. Kate can tell me all she likes that she's not angry with me, but she must be. She took the boys because she wanted me to speak to my mother. My bloody mother!" Caroline threw the paper with force into the bin before she turned to her mother-in-law. "She hasn't even been in to see Kate, you know. She's briefly seen the baby, but that's all. I asked her to stay home with Lawrence so I could stay here, but she refused. She said I'll have to get used to juggling things like this." Caroline shook her head, reaching for another piece of paper to scrub at her fresh tears. "Whenever I'm not here I'm terrified that something will happen to one or both of them and I won't be able to stop it. Again!"

Ginika finally got close enough to rest her hand's on Caroline's upper arms, stilling her for a moment before she drew the blonde to her. Caroline gave a weak struggle, but finally allowed herself to be hugged as she sobbed into Ginika's jacket.

* * *

"Where's Caroline?" Kate asked immediately.

"She'll be back in in a moment." Ginika offered softly. "I've told her I'll go and look after Lawrence so she can stay tonight, and then we will take it in turns, so she needn't worry so much."

Relief flooded Kate's face as she rested her head back against the pillow. In truth, she was worried too, about leaving the baby alone after how much she had longed for her. Gazing down at the bundle that now lay on her chest, Kate gave a sigh. "I wish-"

"Sorry." Caroline muttered as she walked back into the room, giving Kate a smile before her gaze, too, dropped to the baby as she sat down beside the bed. "I'm fine now. Honestly."

Ginika knew her daughter wasn't convinced, but just watched as she smiled at her wife.

"They're bringing her a bottle for us to give her before she'll need to go back."

Caroline gave another smile, her fingers brushing briefly over Kate's as they both stroked their daughter's back.

* * *

The last thing Kate could remember was dropping William off at the station. He'd given her a long hug goodbye, and told her how happy he was for her and his mother. He'd repeated what he'd told Caroline, about how happy she seemed these days, and how he could never thank Kate enough for that.

When Kate had climbed back into the car she'd allowed herself a good, sobbing snotty cry, only managing to stop when she realised the woman in the car beside hers was watching with interest.

The next thing she knew, a bright light was shining down on her and her whole body hurt. She'd tried to lift her head, to see what was going on, but found she had no strength. Instead, she tried to call out to Caorline, for surely she would be here with a smile, telling her it was just a dream, but she was unable to call out. Something was in her throat, she could feel it pinch as she tried and failed to swallow, beginning to panic.

When she woke again, whatever it had been was gone, but the ache that covered her entire body was still there. Thankfully her arms could move now, but a brief movement over her middle panicked her, for there was no baby bump. Again, she'd tried to call out and failed, but this time someone hovered over her, dulling that bright light. Her eyes couldn't seem to adjust, to bring the person into focus, but finally, as the panic began to subside and tiredness set in, she heard Caroline's voice. Caroline's calm voice telling her the baby was okay. Thankful, tired, scared and worried, Kate had allowed herself to drift back to sleep.

This was all that happened over the next few days. She'd wake briefly, disoriented, before she would sleep again. When her voice finally came back, the only words that ever left her mouth were 'baby' and 'Caroline'. While baby never seemed to be there, Caroline always was. Her Caroline. Her wife.

On the third day when she awoke, Kate found she could see clearly again and her heart no longer raced with panic. She was told later that that was the day they finally reduced her sedation. All she remembered from that day, though, was waking to see Caroline sat in a chair smiling down at the baby in her arms. Her Caroline. Their baby.

* * *

"Not asleep." Caroline muttered.

"You were." Kate responded gently, smiling down at the tousled blonde head that rested in on her bed.

"You should be, too." Caroline's voice was hoarse from days of tears, but when she turned her head to look at her wife, Kate was relieved to see no fresh tears, nor tear tracks of recent ones.

"What happened, Caroline?" Kate gave a gentle frown.

"Don't ask me. Please." Caroline shook her head, unwilling to think or remember.

"Tell me."

So Caroline told her. She understood Caroline's tears, then, for she shed thousands of her own. The only difference was that Caroline had shed hers beside a wife of 24 hours who she might never see again, while Kate shed hers in the arms of her wife of a week who had never left her side.


	40. Bloody John

**A/N: Thank you as always for the reviews! They make writing these really worthwhile :)**

 **I have a lot more short stories in me so they'll keep coming for a while yet, but as always I'm looking for someone to write with! Doesn't have to be writing to publish on here, just writing in character generally helps get my literary juices flowing and is more likely to bring longer stories to mind!**

* * *

"Sorry to interrupt, Caroline, but you have a very important visitor." Beverley stuck her head around the large wooden door.

Caroline glanced at her diary with a frown, but there was no appointment scheduled after her current one. Giving an apologetic smile to Gavin, she called out to her PA, "Who is it?"

"It's me!" Came a giggling voice from beside Beverley, followed by the stomping of small feet. A moment later, Flora came bursting into the room and threw herself rather dramatically into Caroline. "Mama!"

A laugh escaped Caroline's lips as she pulled the little girl onto her lap. "What are you doing here?!"

"Meeting." Flora supplied.

"Well, it's not in the diary." Caroline pointed out, smiling to herself as Flora immediately grabbed the pen in her mother's hand and scribbled randomly on the open page of the diary. "Well, look at that! It was in the diary after all! What's this meeting about, then?"

Flora opened her mouth to reply, but suddenly caught sight of the man in the room. She was currently at the stage where she was shy of strangers, and quickly hid her face in her mother's shoulder, mumbling something unintelligible.

"Sorry." Caroline offered Gavin another apologetic smile. "I'll just take her out, I won't be a minute." She stood then, holding Flora close as she walked from the office.

Alan was beside Beverley and gave his step-daughter an apologetic smile as soon as he saw her. "I'm sorry. She was beside herself and I wasn't sure what else to do. We were at the farm, and her little lamb…passed on. She saw what Gillian did, and wondered if that's what happened to uh…"

Caroline shut her eyes briefly, then forced a smile to her lips. "It's fine. Why don't you go with Beverley to get a cup of tea. I'll take Flora in and finish my meeting, then I can have a little chat with her ."

Relieved, Alan nodded. Flora had sobbed loudly for almost an hour, the only thing that settled her was a promise to take her to Caroline.

…

Flora stayed silent during the remainder of the meeting, drawing with Caroline's pen on a plain piece of paper. Once Gavin had gone, Caroline remained silent for a while, too, just watching her.

She remembered how happy her daughter was to be asked to name one of the new lambs. She had spent days thinking of a good name before finally, triumphantly, waking Caroline up in the middle of the night to tell her the choice she had made. 'John.' Caroline had been bewildered, wanting to know why she'd call a lovely lamb John. Flora had looked at her quite seriously and said "Because it makes a lot of noise, and you wouldn't let it in the house because it will make a mess." Everyone had loved that. Well, except John himself.

"Grandpa Alan says John hasn't been very well." Caroline finally broached.

Flora stilled, then shook her head. "He got a sore tummy and then he went to have a big sleep."

"Did that make you sad?"

Flora nodded her head. "I love John. He was cuddly."

"And I think John loved you, too. But sometimes little lambs get sick, and-"

"Aunty Gillian wants to eat him."

Caroline felt the wind go out of her sales at that, unsure quite what to say, how to explain to a girl from town about life on a farm. "Well…that's…that's-"

"Did she eat grandad McKenzie when he died?"

"No!"

"..So he's not in her tummy?"

"No, sweetheart. Gillian…no one eats people after they die. But Gillian has…remember John's mummy?" Caroline was out of her depth here, and wondering why she hadn't considered this eventuality. She planned for every other situation on the planet except this one, it seemed. At Flora's nod, she began. "And Aunty Gillian told you all about how she keeps her sheep for their wool, to keep people warm in winter, and how…how…Why don't we call your Aunty Gillian, hey?"

In the end all it had taken was matter-of-fact explanation from Gillian for Flora to understand things and instead move on to asking Caroline if she could put on her high heels- Flora's very favourite pastime.

…

Kate's face lit up when she saw Caroline waiting outside her classroom with Flora in her arms. Quickly advising her class on what to do, she slipped from the room and covered her squirming daughters face with kisses. "What are you doing here?!"

"We had a meeting scheduled, apparently." Caroline offered with a smile. "I promised her if she be good for her grandad this afternoon that I'd let her come and say hello to her mummy before she left."

"You'd be good for your grandad anyway, wouldn't you!" Kate tickled her daughter gently as Flora giggled and pressed herself tighter into Caroline. Caroline was the favourite parent at the moment. Kate had been the week before, though neither could work out why she changed favourites so often.

"Gillian ate John."

Kate stilled, staring at her daughter for a moment before looking at Caroline, a blush of horror creeping into her cheeks. "She…Don't tell me she walked in on them having…?"

"John the lamb! John and Gillian aren't still…are they?"

"Eating John the lamb? Is that..is she-" Kate frowned down at their daughter with concern.

"Flora, Gillian and I have had a talk, and she knows now that sometimes it happens."

"But not to people." Flora provided.

"Not to people, no." Caroline confirmed.

"And I won't have to eat him." Flora offered.

"Well, that's..that's…good." Kate ended rather lamely, thinking of the poor little lamb called John who she'd once fed with a bottle.

Sensing tears in her wife's eyes, Caroline joggled their daughter. "We had better be going. Say goodbye to your mummy."

Flora hugged Kate and then cuddled back up to Caroline, who looked back at her wife sympathetically then began the short journey back to her office.

Bloody John.


	41. A celebration

Caroline's eyes stung with tears, and she wanted to yell at everyone to be quiet. They were making so much noise that she could barely think straight, and she was completely sure that if one more person asked her if she wanted another cup of tea she would scream and then kill either them or herself.

"…Are you okay, mum?" Lawrence sidled up to her and place a hesitant hand on her shoulder.

Caroline managed a soft smile up at her son as she nodded, one hand lifting to squeeze his briefly. "I'm fine."

"Do you want me to get you anything? A cup of tea?"

Caroline revised her earlier thought. She would only kill them if she wasn't related to them.

"No. No, I'm fine. Why don't you go into the front room and play one of your video games? This can't be very interesting for you."

Lawrence looked around the room and then gave an awkward shrug. "I can stay If you want me to."

"No, you go. Just make sure to keep the door shut if you're going to turn the volume up." Caroline gave his hand one last squeeze before letting go of it, allowing her gaze to fall on the garden, though she didn't really take anything in.

Lawrence hesitated by her side for a long time before he walked away. She said she was fine, he reasoned, and he wasn't sure what else to ask or do.

The blonde was thankfully left alone for a little while then, lost in her thoughts of the past. She barely noticed the tears on her cheeks until one fell from her jaw and onto her hand, prompting her to wipe her face was a crinkled tissue.

"Are you okay?" Asked another hesitant, gentle voice.

Caroline looked up again, the painted smile on her face that she'd been using all day still there, but this time she shook her head. "I barely know anyone here, and yet they all seem to know each other."

"Caroline." Kate sat beside her wife, taking her hands as she looked at her with concern. "I'm sure he would have loved this. From what you've told me, he would have loved bringing all these people together."

Caroline nodded briefly, eyes roaming the room for a moment before she sniffed and looked at Kate. "Where's Flora?"

"With Gillian." Kate reached out and brushed a tear from red cheeks.

"Gillian's here?" Caroline frowned, turning to look towards the kitchen.

"She's been here the whole time. She said she came to support you." Kate smiled.

"…That's nice of her." Caroline let out a shaking sigh. "I should go and thank her."

"You don't have to do anything. Not right now." Kate squeezed her hands again. "Why don't I get you a cup of tea?"

Caroline gave a brief smile at this. "I was just thinking to myself that I'd scream if I was asked that again."

"Shall I cover my ears?"

Caroline shook her head, leaning forward to drop a tender kiss to her wife's cheek. "Maybe a glass of wine?"

"Ok," Kate smiled.

"…And could you bring Flora in? I need a cuddle, and it looks less pathetic if I'm cuddling a baby."

"No one could ever think you're pathetic, Caroline. I'll send Gillian through."

Caroline nodded, returning to watching the people, strangers, standing in small groups all around her house and garden. Why had she chosen to do this, she wondered?

"I bring you a freshly changed daughter." Gillian appeared a moment later, a wary smile on her face as she placed Flora into her mother's arms.

Caroline smiled down at the baby, stroking her cheek lightly. The look of peace on her face somehow made Caroline feel a little better.

"So." Gillian began. A word which, in her case, usually ended in something inappropriate. "Whose…whose funeral is this, exactly?"

Caroline rolled her eyes. "It's not a funeral, it's a wake. My father's brother Jacob."

"Right. That explains why Celia isn't here, then."

"Mmm." Was all Caroline replied. They'd had several arguments about that leading up to today.

"I haven't heard him mentioned before."

"No, well. My mother doesn't like anything to do with my father mentioned, and I lost touch with him a few years ago." Caroline responded, lowering her head to drop a kiss to Flora's head. She still had that perfect baby smell.

"Then how come you're the one hosting the funeral?!"

Caroline sighed. "Wake. Because he didn't have any other family."

"Right." Gillian nodded, resting back in her seat before asking, "But why are you upset if you'd lost touch?"

"Because he was my last link to my father and I have a lot of fond memories of him from when I was growing up!" Caroline shot at her step-sister, exasperated. "Is there anything else you want to know!?"

"Alright, keep your hair on. I was only asking." Gillian huffed.

Caroline sighed, looking at her for a few seconds before she offered. "Sorry. I don't exactly know why I'm upset. I didn't think I would be, and then suddenly this morning I couldn't stop the tears."

"Would he have been the sort of bloke who liked people crying at his funeral, do you think?" Gillian asked. Celia would probably love it.

"Wake. And no, probably not. I remember him being very funny and happy." Caroline gave a fond smile.

"Well, we should think of something happy, then!" Gillian exclaimed, looking around the room in the hope of finding something Caroline would like. Finally, she settled on "Kate's got a fantastic arse, doesn't she?"

"I beg your pardon?" Caroline asked with a laugh. "You want to cheer me up by checking out my wife?!"

"Made you smile." Gillian grinned smugly.

"Yes, well, I can assure you my smile was not down to your brilliance." Caroline shot back.

"Was it a smile because you do think she has a great arse?"

As Caroline stared incredulously at Gillian, Kate returned with a glass of wine, her steps faltering when she saw them look at each other with amusement. "…What?"

"Come and sit next to me for a minute." Caroline patted the seat next to her before giving Gillian a pointed look as Kate took the last few steps and then sat on the couch.

The trio remained quiet for a while then, none of them quite sure what to say.

"…It looks like it might rain." Gillian finally offered.

"Mm, it does, doesn't it?" Kate replied.

"…Good thing I brought the landrover, then. Not…not that I have any other car to bring, but it does drive well through mud, and the farm does get really muddy when it rains." Gillian nodded to herself.

"I imagine it must." Kate nodded, too.

"…I was just telling Caroline what an amazing arse you've got." Gillian offered in a strained voice.

"Gillian!" Caroline exclaimed with a laugh as Kate looked slightly mortified.

"Made you smile again." Gillian pointed out with a grin.

"Yes, well, I don't think talking about my wife's bum would have been something my Uncle would have enjoyed, if you get my meaning, so can we drop it now?"

"He was gay?" Gillian asked

"Yes. I've told you that before, surely?" Caroline looked at her step-sister briefly before looking back down at Flora.

"No." Gillian shook her head. "Did he have a partner?"

"I don't know. Like I've said, I hadn't seen him for almost a decade so I've no idea."

"Wow." Gillian nodded.

Caroline shut her eyes, sure there would be another comment coming.

"…runs in the family, then."

Nodding her head, having expected nothing less, Caroline stood from the couch, Flora in one arm and her drink in the other. "I'm going to go and check on Lawrence, I think."

"Did I say the wrong thing?" Gillian whispered to Kate as Caroline strode away.

"Celia said the same thing this morning when Caroline asked her to come today, only in her own caustic way. She said she wasn't going to, that he hadn't been her family. Then she said she supposed Caroline got 'it' from him. I thought World War 3 was going to break out." Kate sighed, resting back against the couch.

"I was only joking. Should I go and apologise?" Gillian went to stand, but Kate shook her head and waved to her to stay where she was.

In the front room, Lawrence glanced up from his game as his mother walked in and quickly rolled his eyes. "Did you have to bring _her?"_

 _"_ _Her_ name is Flora, Lawrence."

"Yeah, I know. I was talking to her about you." Lawrence smirked, glad when his mother gave a smile as she sat beside him.

"Oh, very funny."

"Thanks. Can I play, or do you want to talk?"

"No, no. You play. Unless you want to talk."

"..Not really."

"Okay." Caroline nodded.

They spent the next few minutes in silence, only the noise of Flora's occasional snuffle or Lawrence's grunt filling the air, but finally the boy glanced sideways at his mother. "...Is it true what granny said?"

Caroline stilled. "...What did granny say?"

"…About…about it running in the family."

"What running in the family?" Caroline asked, though she knew exactly what he was referring to.

"…Being gay." He finally huffed awkwardly.

"…I don't know. Maybe." Was all Caroline offered, not taking her eyes off her daughter.

"…It would probably be a lot easier if I was. Guys are a lot less complicated than girls." Lawrence finally gave an awkward laugh.

Caroline felt a smile pulling at her lips as she glanced up at her son. It was the first time he'd ever really mentioned sexuality to her in a joking manner and not in a surly tone when they argued. "Any complicated girl in particular?"

"…Just Lauren in my maths class."

"..Lawrence and Lauren sounds like an 80s pop group."

"Ma!" Lawrence exclaimed, throwing something from the table at her which forced her to turn away a little to shield Flora as she laughed.

"I'm only joking. What's so complicated about this Lauren, then?"

As Lawrence talked, Caroline suddenly remembered one of the last conversations she'd had with Jacob. It had been about a girl she liked in college. He'd been very supportive and encouraging, and she didn't think she'd ever thanked him for that. He'd told her to be open and honest, that's all she could be, and he'd be proud of her for it.

Caroline supposed she was being open and honest now. Married to a woman, raising their child- Finally her true self. Perhaps that was thanks enough.

Smiling at the photo of Jacob that was resting on the mantelpiece, Caroline then turned her attention back to her son. Yes, she was quite sure now that he would be proud of the family she'd created.

...

Later that evening when everyone had gone but the boys and Kate, Caroline found herself smiling as they insisted she sit down as they cleaned the kitchen. Yes, she was sure her uncle would have loved today. She'd done the right thing, no matter what her mother said.

And if 'it' did run in the family, well, she was glad he'd passed it on to her.

"Shall we have pizza for dinner?"

"YES!" The boys cried instantly.

"Caroline! We've stil got enough food to feed a hundred people!" Kate admonished.

"Oh, who cares." Caroline waved her hand before picking up the phone. "Today is about celebrating, and what is more celebratory than pizza?!"

"What are we celebrating?" Lawrence frowned. "..Aren't you supposed to mourn someone when they die?" He dodged his mothers hand when she reached out to ruffle his hair.

"We are celebrating our family, however messed up it may seem at times. You go and ask Granny and Alan if they want to join us."

As Lawrence raced off before she could change her mind, Caroline turned to Kate who watched her with raised eyebrows. She expected a question or another admonishment, but all Kate finally offered was, "She better not mention pineapple on pizza or I might have to kill her."

"I love you." Caroline smiled, leaning forward to kiss her wife.

From his spot resting against the kitchen bench, William smiled to himself.


	42. Number 25

It was Kate's idea. She'd probably come up with it after listening to one of Caroline's many stories of things she should have done but hadn't. 50 things to do before her 50th. It didn't seem overwhelming really, she had a few years, she could spread them out. She could make a spreadsheet and-

No. Kate had vetoed the idea of a spreadsheet. She pointed out that one of the many things Caroline had wished she'd done in the past is let someone else take the reins. So, Kate was going to organise everything. They'd make the list together, and then Kate would oversee everything else.

Of course, that meant Caroline often found herself in situations she had not prepared for in the slightest. Trust me, Kate always urged. The whole point of the exercise was to be in situations different to the norm, she had pointed out.

Which was precisely why, at that very moment, there was practically a whole building full of guests at a party that Caroline was supposed to be hosting and instead she was in the office with number 25.

Kate would giggle at that description later, wondering how severe people might think her toilet habits had become if she told them she'd rushed off to do number 25.

Caroline would smirk a little, only a little, but soon they would be curled up with one another on the couch laughing so hard that no noise was coming out.

But back to the story- number 25.

Number 25 was quite noisy, as it happened. Thankfully the music was loud.

Caroline wondered whether Kate had planned that.

Kate had told her to stop thinking and shut up.

Although Kate had been politer. Kate was always politer.

 _CAROLINE_

Back to the story- number 25.

Many of the things Caroline had hesitantly put on the list were things she wished she'd been brave enough to do at university (All which Kate seemed to have done).

 ** _CAROLINE!_**

One of those things was what she always imagined couples sneaking away to do at parties. Being brave and desperate enough to sneak away and have sex so close to where others gathered before returning dishevelled and smiling.

Caroline had seen the spark in Kate's eye when Celia asked her to organise the party, she'd known what was coming. She'd dressed appropriately.

That had ticked off number 32 as well- surprise your partner with sexy lingerie.

Kate had been surprised. Happily so.

Which was unfortunately why something that Caroline had thought might take mere minutes had already taken about 45. Once they got started, they got caught up with one another. They should have realised before.

Of course, it only came to mind when Caroline's Aunty Muriel opened the door to the office, saw her niece sat on the desk facing away from the door apparently in the middle of an asthma attack of sorts and began having one of her own.

Number 25 was the reason why she was spending yet another bloody birthday in a hospital waiting room.

This time, though, she could day dream about the 'cat that got the cream' smile Kate had given her from between her legs a second before her Aunt had walked in.

Number 25 was well and truly crossed off.

Could probably do with a bit of work to perfect, though, Caroline had reasoned.

It was several months before they could practice that particular scenario again, and this time Caroline locked the door. She was all for spontaneity and letting Kate take the reins, but even she had her limits.


	43. Jealousy

**A/N: I'm getting a bit stuck writing now, so I'm not sure how many more of these I have in me! I might try a longer fic instead based on one of these chapters, so please let me know which is your favourite.**

* * *

Caroline wasn't jealous. Nope! Not in the slightest. Kate might be out for the night with a female she had probably once slept with, but she would be coming home to her, to their house, to their family. So, no she absolutely wasn't jealous.

"Is your phone broken, Ma?"

"Why?" Caroline was startled from her thoughts by her youngest son's question.

"You keep looking at it."

"...No. No, it's-" Caroline began, but was entirely unsure about what she could say. She'd been checking it for a message from Kate. Something along the lines of I miss you, I love you, I'm having a horrible time, Come and get me. Anything, really. Except she'd received nothing.

Lawrence turned from his movie and looked at his mother with raised eyebrows. She'd suggested they watch a movie together, but he didn't think she was paying much attention. "It's what?"

"…It's Kate's first time out since Flora, and I want to make sure that if she calls to check on her, I can reassure her that Flora is fine."

Lawrence nodded, looking entirely unconvinced. When he turned back to the TV, she was sure she'd managed to convince him until he offered, "You're scared she's like dad. You think she's gone out to get drunk and sleep with other people."

Caroline opened her mouth to defend herself, but nothing came out except a whoosh of air. It's not that she worried Kate was anything like John- she knew she wasn't. Logically. But unfortunately Caroline's mind did not want to be logical tonight.

"She won't." Lawrence added.

Caroline really wasn't worried. Not one bit.

And so what if she was so eager to answer her phone when it rang that she knocked it onto the floor, dove after it and then answered while on her hands and knees. "Kate?"

Kate frowned, for Caroline sounded breathless. "Are you okay?"

"Fine. How's your night going?"

"…Well, the thing is, Anna's hotel has had a fire, and they're not admitting guests back in until the morning. We can look for another hotel, but I thought, i-if you wouldn't mind, that she could stay at ours overnight? Lawrence would have to be fine with it, too, obviously."

No. Absolutely not. Absolutely bloody fucking NOT. "Okay. Sure. It's fine. Lawrence won't mind either, I'm sure. When will you be here?"

And so what if she waited by the front door for half an hour waiting to see the lights of a taxi turn into the driveway.

She waited only a nanosecond which felt like hours before she rushed outside, pulling open the taxi door.

Watching from the window, Lawrence saw Kate briefly touch Caroline's arm but didn't kiss her. He wondered what his mother's mind might make of that in her current state. He knew soon enough by the sag of her shoulders. Rolling his eyes, he shut the blind and returned to his movie.

"Caroline." Caroline held out her hand to the younger woman who climbed out after Kate, forcing a smile to her lips.

Anna returned the smile and shook the proffered hand. "Thank you so much for letting me stay."

"Oh, it's fine. The house is huge, there are plenty of spare rooms." That's it, Caroline, impress her with your wealth, show her who's boss. "I can show you to one if Kate would like to-" She looked towards Kate, only to find her no longer there. "-Check on Flora."

Anna smiled, following Caroline into the house. "It's fine. I know it's her first proper night away from the baby. She talked about her non-stop. Well, almost non-stop. The rest of the time she told me all about you."

"ALL about me?" Caroline asked with a nervous laugh, hoping this all didn't include her behaving like a petulant child as soon as Kate had said she wanted to go out alone because she would only feel ok if Flora was left with Caroline.

And so what if she saw them sat on the sofa together and promptly pressed her bum between them until they were forced to move apart so she could sit between them.

"I saw this movie three times the week it came out. I love scary movies." Anna told Lawrence.

"Ma hates them. Only let's me watch them when she's-"

"WOULD anyone like a glass of wine? Or a cup of tea?" Caroline stood.

And so what if Kate walked in on her a few moments later wrestling angrily with a wine bottle that wouldn't give up its cork.

She only stilled when Kate took the bottle away. She steeled herself for an argument, but instead Kate just moved into her arms, wrapped herself around the blonde and quietly burst into tears.

What's the matter?!" Caroline was startled by this and it took a few seconds for her mind to move into gear and allow her to lift her arms to pull Kate closer. "What's happened?"

Kate shook her head, sniffling. "I ordered the red wine you like because it made me think of kissing you, but I'd forgotten that red wine always makes me cry."

Caroline emitted a soft laugh at this confession, lowering her head so her lips brushed against Kate's ear. "I only let Lawrence watch a horror because I made him sit through a French film because it reminded me of you."

This time it was Kate who gave a faint laugh. "We're silly."

"We're in love."

And so no, she wasn't jealous. She really wasn't.


	44. Caroline

**A/N:** **Sorry for the fic spam today! I've run out of space on my laptop so I'm trying to finish all the half written things I have.**

 **I wrote this a while ago. It's a tribute to one of my favourite fics 'Calorine and Daisy and Me.' Hopefully if the author is still around, they enjoy this fic as much as I enjoyed theirs!**

* * *

"Caroline?" Grace asked hopefully from her seat in the front of the trolley her mother was pushing.

Kate could only sigh. That name seemed to be a favourite of her daughters since she'd met the woman herself a few weeks ago. "Shall we get some bananas?"

"Caroline." Was all Grace repeated.

"Banana." Kate offered, holding the fruit up hopefully. She saw what was going to happen next only a split second before it happened.

"CAROLINE!" Grace wailed.

Mortified, Kate reached out to pull her daughter from the trolley, intending either a quick getaway or to soothe her, but someone else made it there a moment before she did.

"What's all this noise about, then, Grace?"

Grace went quiet in an instant, her watery eyes turning wide before a grin lit her face and she threw her arms up in the air. "Caroline!"

Kate, ever so slightly horrified to be found with an unruly child by someone who paid her to keep children under control, managed to stutter out an apology. "S-She didn't sleep too well last night. There was a fire at the flat beside ours so we have to stay in a hotel for a few nights, and she doesn't like new places." She knew she was babbling but couldn't stop it. "I thought going and getting her a few of her favourite things might help but they wont let us in the building, so then I decided to come shopping, but-"

"Kate. It's fine." At some point Caroline had taken Grace from her restraints and now had the girl resting on her hip. "It's my fault. I saw you come in and I've been playing a bit of peekaboo from the other side of the shop."

The wind fell from Kate's sails, then, as she thought of the strict headmistress playing peekaboo in a place she could be seen by anyone. "Oh."

"..Would you like some help? If you've got a list we could split it, and then you'd be out of here a little quicker."

Perhaps she'd breathed in some fumes last night. That must be it. She was in the middle of the supermarket hallucinating.

"Kate?" The feel of Caroline's hand gently touching her elbow brought Kate back to find the blonde watching her with concern.

"Sorry. Umm. No. Sorry. No. No list." Kate's eyes dropped, and she realised Caroline was wearing flat shoes. She couldn't tear her eyes away from them.

"..Right, well. I could look after Grace for you while you finish? There's a café just around the corner that sell babychinos?"

"I can't ask you to do that." Kate shook her head, despite the way her daughter clapped at the word babychino.

Caroline was looking at her quizzically now. "You didn't ask. I offered."

"Surely you have better things to do on a Sunday." Jeans, too. Flat shoes and jeans.

"Not really. I came here to get a bottle of wine and some biscuits and I was going to spend the day in front of the TV." Caroline shrugged.

Kate was mortified once more to let out a loud laugh at this, Caroline now looking at her as though she'd grown a new head. She had to get away. She'd sacrifice her daughter to stop being embarrassed. Well, not really sacrificing, is it, considering how much Grace loved Caroline. "Okay. Café around the corner. I won't be long."

Speeding off with her trolley, forgetting entirely about Grace's bag of things resting safely in it, Kate made her escape to the dairy section.

* * *

Grace was now blissfully asleep in Caroline's arms, the warm milk in her stomach and gentle rocking quickly making eyes close. Caroline was gazing down at her, admiring her long eyelashes and beautiful skin when a heavy bag was suddenly dropped in front of her.

"I didn't know what sort of biscuits you like so I got…a few. And then I didn't know what wine. I thought red, but didn't know what one, so-"

"You brought the whole shop? And one of every type of biscuit, it seems." Caroline smiled at the bag before glancing up at Kate, the smile faltering when she saw the mildly horrified expression had returned to Kate's face. "Thank you. I appreciate it. I got you a coffee." She motioned her free hand to the cup opposite hers.

Kate managed to mumble her thanks and sat down, sipping carefully at the warm liquid as she hoped her shaking hands weren't too obvious.

"Would you like to come to my house?"

Kate choked a little on the drink, her throat burning.

"Grace had a good sleep there the other day when I hosted Beverley's party, and you said she doesn't like new places, so..I thought she might sleep better there than at a hotel?" Caroline offered softly. "And I could probably use some company drinking now I've got a fully stocked wine rack."

Kate wondered if she was going to pass out.

* * *

Caroline insisted that Kate go and have a nap as soon as they arrived at her house, sure that the usually calm teacher's panic was due to a sleepless night and worry. Kate had given little protest and even found that as soon as her head rested on the pillow in the guest room that she could sleep.

* * *

"You've never struck me as someone who had a plastic tea set around the house." Kate offered from the doorway a couple of hours later. Caroline and Grace were sitting on the floor apparently having a tea party.

"Lawrence's old favourite. Don't tell him I told you, though. He'd be mortified." Caroline offered, gratefully accepting a cup from the girl before her who looked delighted when she took a pretend sip.

As Grace turned her attention to feeding the teddy that apparently was another old favourite, Caroline looked up to Kate. "Feeling a little better?"

"Very much better. Sorry about before."

"Oh, it's fine. I'm often surprised to see staff out and about in the real world too. I suppose I'm a bit like preschooler, thinking teachers only really exist inside the school walls." Caroline offered a smile. "And I was a little forceful. The prospect of an afternoon with my favourite little girl seemed much more delightful than one spent alone."

"…She talks about you every day. Well, when I say talks..she says your name quite often, along with sawberry, which I think is strawberry, dooce, which I think may be juice, and, bizarrely, the word poo, which she likes to shout at the top of her lungs at very inopportune moments."

"Well, I have illustrious company there!" Caroline laughed softly. "We thought William used to yell the f word quite often. It was mortifying. Took us weeks to figure out he was actually saying truck."

"About..about what happened at..at the party.." Kate began. She had to address this now. She had to get it out in the open or she'd go mad. The last fortnight of embarrassment had taught her that.

"What about it?" Caroline asked softly, turning her back on Kate to accept another cup of tea from Grace.

"It was…you see, I hadn't really had a drink since Grace was born, and I fear I had a little too much. When I went to check on her and saw you holding her and looking so…so…well, anyway, it made me feel…good. So I kissed you. And I shouldn't have, because you're my boss, but sometimes I feel so alone in this parenting thing and I worry that I do things wrong, or that there's something wrong with her that I haven't noticed, or…and, to see someone care for her like I do made me feel…" Kate sighed helplessly. She didn't have a word for how it made her feel. Love, perhaps, but she would never say it.

"…I do think she's a lovely little baby, and I care about her a great deal. You're doing a wonderful job with her, so you needn't worry." Caroline finally offered gently after a long silence.

"And..and…the other thing?"

"We can forget it ever happened, if you like." Carolnie offered neutrally.

"Yes. Yes, I-"

"But I'd rather not forget about it." Caroline offered softly, silencing Kate instantly. "I think I would probably even like it to happen again one day when neither of us have had anything to drink."

"Oh."

"If you'd like that, too."

"I think I would, yes."

"Okay."

* * *

That was the last they'd spoken about of the kiss for weeks. They'd stayed at Caroline's for two days until they were allowed back to their flat, but from then on they'd have dinner at her house at least twice a week. Lawrence was fascinated with Grace and could spend hours trying to teach her new words, while Caroline seemed to love rocking her to sleep and just gazing at her.

Kate continued to embarrass herself horribly, worried about saying or doing the wrong thing in front of the wrong person. In fact, upon being asked by a male colleague if the reason she was so nervous around Caroline was because she liked her, Kate had asked him for a date.

She'd been completely mortified but terrified of backing out now she'd asked. It had taken her three days for her to tell Caroline, who had looked rather astonished at the news. Kate had proceeded to babble about not wanting to start gossip about the two of them, how she knew how private Caroline was. Caroline had quietened her finally by pressing a finger gently to her lips. She'd offered to look after Grace while Kate went on her non-date, on the condition that she might be the one to get the goodnight kiss and not Kevin.

* * *

Kate had chosen the least romantic place she could think of for their date- a bowling alley full of children they taught which smelled a little like stale fried food and chewing gum. It had taken about half an hour of bursting with nerves for Kate to tell the poor man she wasn't interested in him. He'd laughed, then. Told her it was okay, because he had a boyfriend anyway. Her secret was safe with him.

* * *

"Shh. It's okay. Mummy will be home soon." Caroline tried to soothe the girl in her arms, rocking her gently. "Mummy will be back soon, and then we can all snuggle on the sofa together. Would you like that? I would like that an awful lot." The blonde dropped a tender kiss to a warm forehead. "Your mummy is very beautiful, you know? And she makes me so incredibly nervous that I focus all my attention on you, instead, so she doesn't realise how socially inept I actually am."

Grace smiled sleepily up at the woman who held her, mumbling, "Caroline."

"That doesn't mean I don't adore you, though. No, I think you're the sweetest little baby in the whole world." Caroline smiled. "There's a car coming up the driveway. Do you think that might be your mummy now?"

"Mummy." Grace confirmed, followed by a wide yawn.

"Shall we go and see?"

"Go see." Grace nodded. Lawrence had taught her this new phrase, though it was often punctuated with the word poo, which he thought was endlessly amusing.

Standing up, Caroline padded softly to the front door. She considered opening it, waiting in the doorway, but wondered if that would seem odd, as though she'd been waiting for her all this time. Even though she had.

Kate pushed open the door a moment later, cheeks pink from cold and eyes bright. "Caro-" She began to yell, stopping when she realised the woman herself was before her. "Kevin's gay."

"I know." Was all Caroline offered, a smile gracing her lips.

"I..well, you could have told me! I've agonised over this all week!"

"I Could have." Caroline agreed. "Only I think you're beautiful when you're nervous."

"Oh."

They stared at each other for a long time, then, but it was finally Caroline who looked away. "I think Gracie's teething again. She's been a bit fussy. I wasn't sure what you usually gave her, so I've just given her a cold cloth to suck on."

"I'd like to-" Kate began, but stopped abruptly and looked mildly horrified. Caroline wondered if that might not be her default expression these days.

"…Suck on a cold cloth, too?" She offered unhelpfully.

"You've just told me my daughter is in pain, and all I'm thinking about is whether now is an appropriate time to kiss you." Kate moaned.

"..I'd say perhaps lets sort out your daughter, and take it from there?" Caroline offered, though it was entirely unhelpful to Kate because the blonde was looking at her lips as she said it.

"Right. Yes. Good idea." She nodded, reaching forward to take her daughter. "There's something to rub on her gums in the bag I brought."

As Caroline turned away to find the bag, Kate asked, "What is this, Caroline?"

"Teething."

"No. Us. THIS."

"…It's just two women who have a lot of other things than just themselves to consider trying to..to find a place for each other in their lives in the least…disruptive way possible for everyone involved."

"You've rehearsed that."

"I have. I rehearse a lot of things before I say them to you."

"Well, I suppose at least one of us shouldn't be a stuttering mess if we want to get this thing off the ground." Kate agreed.

"It's more about the fact I'm a crier when I get nervous, and I get snotty when I cry. Not everyone can look as beautiful as you while stammering out the word poo, you know."

"I wish you'd stop telling me I'm beautiful."

"I can stop saying it, but I can't stop thinking it." Caroline held out the tube of gel.

"Are you thinking about it now?" Kate asked a moment later with her finger in her daughter's mouth, a long drool of spit mixed with gel hanging dangerously close to Caroline's favourite jumper.

"Yes."

"Are you thinking about it now?" Kate asked a while later as the three of them lay curled up on the sofa, Grace now slowly falling asleep between them, the word poo poo escaping her lips in a sigh.

"Yes."

"Are you thinking about it now?" Kate asked a week later when she found herself pressed against the door of the head's office, breathless and so turned on she may not be able to walk out of the room properly.

"Yes."

"Are you thinking about it now?" Kate asked a month later as she dropped tantalising kisses to a milky white thigh.

"Yes!"

"Are you thinking about it now?" Kate asked a year later as they stood in front of the marriage celebrant, tears on both their faces and Grace stood between them doing her best to try and hide under her Kate's wedding dress.

"Yes."

"Are you thinking about it now?" Kate asked that evening as she blotted ineffectually at the vomit on her wedding dress, courtesy to Grace eating too much cake.

"Surely I'm allowed to say it now? We're married."

"…Once a day." Kate decided. Unfortuately the mild horror of saying inapprorpriate things at the wrong moment in front of Caroline hadn't dimmed as their courtship advanced. Neither had the clearly adoring looks Caroline gave her during these moments.

"I think you're beautiful." Caroline whispered softly into her ear as she took the cloth from Kate's hand and instead started helping her take the dress off.

"Even when I'm covered in sick, when I do snotty cries during wedding vows, and when I break your favourite mug?"

"Ye…you broke my favourite mug?!"

"Oops." Kate smiled guiltily.

"..Your punishment for that is hearing how beautiful you are at least 3 times a day for the next forever."

"Even when I'm so old I wet myself and have to wear a nappy?"

"…You're mad, you are. Completely and utterly mad." Caroline laughed. "Yes, even then."

"Well...then I think It's time I told you the truth about something."

"What?" Caroline sighed, frustrated that Kate seemed more focused on talking than making love as she so desperately wanted to do.

"I may or may not have only gone to the supermarket that day because I saw your car in the carpark."

"Kate!"

"Am I still beautiful."

"You're still beautiful. A beautiful stalker."

"Your beautiful stalker."

"My beautiful stalker."


	45. The next step- Part 1

Kate agreed with waiting. In theory. She knew Caroline was struggling, and she knew that sleeping together would make things even more complicated for her, so she had agreed to wait. They'd still kiss (god, did they kiss), they still hugged, they even snuggled on occasion, but never anything more. Kate loved the fact that she could see Caroline almost blossoming before her eyes, but she also liked the fact that if she began to feel quite overwhelmed by the situation that she could go home- Caroline understood.

Except now the summer holidays were over, so even if she didn't want to see Caroline, too worried her desire would show in her face and scare the woman away, she was forced to. Every bloody weekday morning.

Which was why, at this precise moment, Kate was reading the school newsletter with intensity so she wouldn't have to look up and see the woman talking. The same woman who last night had kissed her so much her she could still feel the pressure of lips against hers.

"Miss McKenzie?"

Kate realised with a panic that she was being spoken to and had no idea about what.

"I...pardon?"

"Perhaps you could join us instead of keeping your face buried in last year's newsletter?" Caroline asked lightly. When blue eyes briefly met brown and Kate could see the sparkle of teasing in them, she gripped the arms of her chair until her knuckles were white.

* * *

"Kate, are you teaching?" Caroline called as soon as her car was parked a week later. She was late, she had missed the staff meeting, but today she didn't care one bit.

"N-No why?" Kate wondered if she was going to ask her why she hadn't waited for her after the meeting yesterday, or afterschool. She'd ignored a phone call from her yesterday evening, too.

"Can you come to my office?"

Caroline sounded different, and this alone made Kate's insides begin to knot up. She was a woman who made changes slowly, gradually. She didn't change quickly, and yet she hadn't sounded like this yesterday.

* * *

"What?" Kate asked, a frown of concern on her forehead when Caroline walked into the office two seconds after her.

Caroline gave no reply, her bag dropping with a thud to the ground before her hands moved to Kate's cheeks, pulling her closer to kiss her.

Kate kissed back. If she'd ever had the power to resist Caroline's kisses, she'd long since lost it. Except this wasn't their usual sort of kiss, for Caroline was moaning softly into her mouth, one hand moving down to caress her neck and then her breast.

And then suddenly she was gone, leaving Kate stood there panting and with legs like jelly.

"Lawrence went missing." Caroline grinned.

"W-What? When? Is he okay?" Kate frowned, stepping forward to put a comforting hand on Caroline's upper arm.

"Oh, he's fine. We had a fight, he left, I couldn't find him for hours." Caroline's grin was beginning to un-nerve Kate.

"You should have called me. You've found him now?"

"I did." Caroline responded, reminding Kate guiltily of that missed call. "Turns out he went to his father's, only John wasn't there and neither was Judith, so apparently, he was trying to walk to Gillian's when I found him. Going in completely the wrong directly. Anyway, that's not the point. The point is that he was upset because he says his fathers abandoned him and I'm not spending any time with him, so he wants to go and live on the farm."

"And...you're happy with this?" Kate squinted into the grinning face before her, thoroughly confused.

"No! I told him as much. Told him if he went to live there he'd have to go to different school, there'd be no Angus, no rugby. Well, that's not strictly true. Maybe Raff's school do have a rugby team. I didn't check." Caroline's face falls briefly and Kate wonders if one or both of them have become quite mad. Then suddenly she is beaming again, looking right at her. "Anyway, I told him that wasn't happening, and he said it was unless I spent more time at home. And then he said you need to move in!" Caroline finished with a grinning flourish.

"…Right."

"He said that if I'm going to spend all my spare time with you that you might as well move in. I said I wouldn't even ask you if he was going to be sullen all the time and rude to you. He said he won't be. He said as long as I let his dad come round for Sunday dinners, and you'll help him with his homework sometimes, he thinks you're okay." Caroline was positively bursting with happiness.

"Umm." Was all Kate could manage. "Right."

"I was thinking about wardrobe space on the way here. John's things didn't take up much room but I assume you've got more than he did. Anyway, I think there will be room for a second wardrobe, or I can move some of my things into the wardrobe in the spare room."

"Caroline, the thing is-"

"There's plenty of drawer space, though, and there's room for all your instruments. There's a spare room at the top of the house that you could use for music or study, or to get away from things. It's got a lovely view. I was going to use it for my office, but I like to be at the front of the house to be accessible to the boys."

"The thing is, I don't...want to move in with you."

Caroline had been about to start again, but the words died on her lips and horror began to dawn on her face, making Kate backtrack a little.

"I mean, I do. I'd love…but you haven't really asked me, have you? It wasn't even your idea, it was Lawrence's. And as things stand, I'm not..not sure I could be in such close proximity to you all the time." Kate wrung her hands nervously. She wondered if Caroline might run from the room, but she doesn't. She takes a step closer.

"Kate…Lawrence was…he was…I was scared that making that last leap with you might make it too difficult to back out of. If Lawrence completely hated the idea, if he threatened not to speak to me, or my mother…but now Lawrence has accepted it, and I've spoken to my mother. She's not..entirely happy, but she will be. In time. So, there's nothing stopping us taking things further anymore." Caroline watched Kate's face earnestly. "You don't have to move in. Not yet. Not at all if you don't want to. I think maybe I got a little carried away by the thought of you being near me all the time." Caroline smiled nervously. "But I just wanted to tell…well, it sounds a little crass to ask someone to see you in your big imposing office so you can tell them that yes, thank you very much, you would like to have sex with them."

Kate was beginning to smile, despite the fact she didn't raise her eyes. "So you thought the better option was inviting me in to tell me your son wants me to move in with you?"

"…I didn't get much sleep. My brain's muddled."

"I think...I think maybe you should ask me once you've thought it over properly." Kate finally looked up to see Caroline's smile fading. "But yes. I would like to do both those things."

The smile was back, matched by Kate's. They looked at each other for a long time, interrupted only by the ringing of the bell.

"I'd better go. I've got 9F."

"Bad luck." Caroline smiled.

"..I don't suppose sleeping with the boss might get me out of teaching them?"

Caroline smiled but gave no response, her smile growing as Kate walked slowly to the door, turning back every few seconds to look at her hopefully.

"Worth a try I suppose."

* * *

And now here they were, yet to have sex but moving in together. Lawrence had carried boxes for her up the stairs and had even offered to make her a cup of tea. Caroline had already cleared space for her in almost every room of the house and had now made herself conspicuously absent, tucked away in her office doing paperwork.

Kate sat on the bed with a sigh. The room felt so…Caroline. She'd worried it might be overwhelming moving to someone else's well establish house, but it turned out it wasn't. Caroline had made so many little changes to add things she noticed Kate liked that she felt like she'd always lived here. She liked that thought and allowed herself to dwell on it for a while.

"Is it safe to come in yet? I won't have any washing or ironing forced on me?" Caroline broke through her thoughts and brought a smile to her face.

"Lawrence told me you're got a phobia of the laundry."

"Not a phobia, as such. Just a mutual dislike."

"The laundry dislikes you?"

"It shrinks things just to annoy me." Caroline confirmed.

"Well, you're in luck because I quite like doing laundry, and I hate cooking, so between us I think we make a pretty good housewife."

"Do you own a frilly apron?"

"That's the second time you've asked me that. I'm beginning to think you've got a kink of some sort."

"Not of aprons. Of you. N-Not..that's not exactly what I meant. I mean you as in I..well, you could wear anything and I'd probably want to…anyway. Dinner is almost ready, so I'll-" Caroline motioned over her shoulder. After her frank admission two weeks ago, they'd agreed that they'd make love when it happened naturally, they wouldn't do it just to get it over with, just because both of them wanted it. Except now it seemed the time was never right and neither of them could get it off their minds.

"Caroline." Kate called.

The blonde took a step back and glanced into the bedroom again.

"Is it just me in clothes, or might naked be acceptable, too?"

Colour rose up Caroline's neck and then her cheeks as she stuttered out a reply.


	46. The Next Step- Part 2

**A/N: I cannot believe that I wrote 'The Berena F*** List' and yet I struggled to write these two making love. I tried to make it romantic, and I** **haven't written anything graphic so I think it's safe for work!**

* * *

"Caroline.." Kate purred.

Caroline mumbled softly into her pillow, not yet ready to wake.

"Caroline…" Kate repeated, soft lips dropping tickling kisses to a freckled shoulder.

"Hm?" The blonde turns her head from where it was buried in her pillow but still didn't open blue eyes.

"Do you know what today is?" Kate brushed blonde locks from Caroline's face.

"Mphm." Was Caroline's only reply, almost back to sleep.

"Caroline…" Kate rubbed the bare back a little firmer now, bringing a frown to Caroline's face before she turned to bury it once more into the pillow.

"Sleepin'" She finally managed to grumble.

"You can go back to sleep in a minute." Kate promised.

Sighing, Caroline turned her head again and squinted blue eyes at Kate. "Wha?"

Smiling at the little frown that creased her girlfriend's forehead, Kate lifted a finger to smooth it away. "Do you know what today is?"

"..Friday?" Caroline mumbled.

"…Well, yes, but it's also a very special day."

"Christmas?" Caroline attempted.

"It's August!"

"..Easter?"

"You're not even trying, Dr Elliot."

Sighing, Caroline shut her eyes for a moment, thinking hard. As her eyes opened again, a smile began to pull at her lips. "It's the rugby trip."

Kate nodded as a smile pulled at her lips. "It's the rugby trip. 2 whole days alone in this house. Whatever will we do?" Kate lowered her head to kiss Caroline gently, then again and again until Caroline's arms reached up and slid around her. As Kate's body melted into the blonde's, Caroline let out a soft moan.

Kate pulled back, just a little, their quick breaths tickling the other's lips, and then slowly Kate kissed her again, deeper this time, her tongue darting out to caress Caroline's lips.

"MUM! WE'RE GOING TO BE LATE!"

Both women stilled and then a groan filled the room, Kate's head banging into the pillow before she rolled away from the blonde. She couldn't take this much longer. Sure, they'd decided to wait until it felt natural, but it felt natural at every moment of every day right now, they just kept getting interrupted.

"MUM!"

"I'M COMING!" Caroline hollered, muttering to herself as she slipped from the bed and reached blindly for the outfit she'd set out the night before.

"10 hours, Caroline. 10 hours at school, and then a whole weekend alone." Kate tried to brighten her mood again, climbing from the bed to drop a kiss to her neck. "I'll make you a coffee."

* * *

5 hours later, Carolnie pulled her glasses off and pinched the top of her nose as Kate walked into her office. "What."

Kate smiled as she sat opposite the blonde. "Nothing's happened."

"Are you sure?"

"Positive." Kate nodded.

Caroline stared hard at her. "My mum? Lawrence? YOUR mum?"

"A meeting with language teachers which you called last week." Kate gave a quiet laugh as other members of staff began filing in, her eyes twinkling with a mischeif that Caroline couldn't help but smile at, even as she released a relieved but frustrated huff and put her glasses back on.

* * *

"Hi." Caroline greeted Kate with a smile as she pushed open the front door and found her waiting.

"Hi." Kate smiled back, resting against the wall a little as she watched Caroline slid her coat off, their eyes never leaving one another's.

"So-" Caroline finally offered, giving a little sigh of nervousness.

Kate's smile widened now. "You're magnificent."

"You're very pretty." Caroline let out in a gentle laugh.

"Nothing to be nervous about. It's just us." Kate ran her arms down Caroline's arms until she could grasp her hands. "Are you hungry?"

Caroline squinted at Kate. Was this some..sexual thing? Something she hadn't heard of before? She should have asked Gillian.

"Caroline." Kate called, seeing Caroline beginning to panic. "I made dinner."

"…Dinner?"

"Yes, dinner. The meal you eat at the end of the day." Kate smiled again and then turned away, keeping hold of one of Caroline's hands to lead her through to the dining room. Inside, she'd set up the table with candles, there was wine breathing, and the air was full of a delicious smell of something cooking.

"..Are you wining and dining me?" Caorline asked with a hint of amusement in her voice.

"Well, I did consider ripping your shirt off as soon as you came through the front door, but I thought to myself no, Caroline deserves more than that. So, I made you dinner…after which I'll rip your shirt off." Kate offered, pulling out a seat. "Sit down and I'll go and dish up."

As Caroline sat down, she felt the nerves beginning to leave. It was just her and Kate, nothing at all to worry about.

…

After dinner, Caroline had tried to lead Kate up the stairs, but Kate had other plans and instead gathered up their wine glasses and walked to the couch, pointing out that Caroline's favourite quiz show was on.

Caroline wondered, briefly, if Kate was perhaps no longer interested, until she remembered what they usually did during this quiz. Smiling to herself, Caroline felt the last of her nerves leave her.

…

It was somewhat like other nights laying in front of the TV, but tonight, for the first time, there was no holds barred. When Caroline wanted to brush her fingers over the quivering muscle of Kate's stomach, she allowed herself to. When she wanted to walk her hand up higher, caressing Kate's breast again but this time under her bra, she allowed herself to. When Caroline wanted to kiss that baby soft skin between Kate's breasts, she allowed herself to.

Kate had been thinking she might take the lead the first time due to Caroline's nerves, and yet she soon found herself pressed below the magnificent woman herself, unable to do anything but respond to her ministrations.

"C-Caroline?" Kate managed to force out as Caroline stared down at her topless body with silent rapture for almost a minute.

"You're beautiful." Was all Caroline whispered, one finger tracing the underside of one breast.

"D-Do you think we should go upstairs now?"

Caroline's eyes lifted to Kate's briefly, studying her face. "…No."

…

Kate managed to ask again as Caroline hovered above her as they kissed a few minutes later, moaning from one or both of them filling the air as they felt their bare nipples brush for the first time, her hips already beginning to move in time to Caroline's as she yearned for even more.

"…No." Caroline had repeated.

…

Kate didn't ask again. She couldn't. She'd finally found the place where Caroline's emotions truly came to the surface, where she poured love and happiness and fear.

More than once that evening Kate realised Caroline was crying. Soon she found herself joining her as they moved in unison, skin on skin, nothing between them any longer.

...

Something changed for them after that weekend. There had always been love, from the very beginning though neither of them were yet to admit it, but now it went deeper.

Caroline no longer worried she'd misunderstood things and would instead let Kate in as soon as she felt panic rising.

Kate no longer worried that Caroline might back out on things again, and when they argued she wouldn't back down just because she feared that Caroline would break up with her again.

They were forever now. Just as Caroline had whispered tenderly in Kate's ear when she thought she was sleeping. Forever was a mighty long time, and Caroline couldn't be happier.


	47. I happen to love Jeeps

**A/N: I'm so sorry about any mistakes! I don't get them beta'd so they can get to you asap, but unfortunately that can mean there are mistakes that I've not picked up. Usually I endeavour to fix them as soon as they're pointed out or I see them, but sometimes I can't be bothered. At the moment it's getting to the end of semester and my brain is dying a slow, painful death, so apologies in advance for any issues!**

* * *

"I'm getting really upset now!" Kate reached for the armrest to push herself up before allowing Caroline to pull her close. "I feel as big as a…as big as a jeep, I can't fit into any of my clothes, I haven't seen my feet in weeks…"

"I happen to love Jeeps." Caroline responded with a smirk, but at Kate's look, her face sobered. "You look lovely, Kate. I promise."

"But I won't exactly fit in at some highbrow mansion, will I? You'll all be wearing high heels and looking beautiful-"

"YOU look beautiful, Kate. I don't think you've ever looked more beautiful, because you're carrying our baby."

Kate's face softened for a moment before she remembered Celia's parting words. "But your mother-"

"Doesn't know what she's talking about. She always says things like that to other people when she isn't feeling comfortable herself." Caroline tried to reassure her partner. She'd only got back as Celia was leaving, but had heard her parting shot 'You'd better get dressed in your fineries soon, Kate. We'll need to leave shortly.'

Usually Kate would brush it off, but clearly today was not a usual day, and instead she had looked as though Celia had kicked her. "Maybe I shouldn't go."

"Yes, you should. He invited all the family, and you are family now. For better or worse, remember?" Caroline gave a hopeful smile, but could see Kate was still unsure. "Please. I need you there."

"No, you don't." Kate looked down.

"I do. You and I are the only sane ones in this family, we need to stick together."

"I don't feel very sane at the moment." Kate sniffed.

"Please." Caroline tried again, gentler now, begging.

"Gran says we need to go." Lawrence offered, passing the doorway. When he saw his mother looking pleadingly at Kate, he paused and then backtracked. "You are coming, aren't you Kate? Alan says he's got one of those game of throne's chess sets, and I thought we could have a game."

Kate sighed, looking at Caroline suspiciously, but when Caroline gave a soft shrug, not having seen Lawrence since she arrived home, Kate rolled her eyes and turned towards the front door.

* * *

With Alan driving and Celia insisting on sitting in front with him, Lawrence, Caroline and Kate were squished in the back seat together. Caroline had offered to take the jeep because it was bigger, or to drive the three of them in a separate car, but Celia had been insistent- She wanted to make a show of them being a proper family, Caroline knew.

Except now she was sat in the middle of a car with the sound of tinny music coming from Lawrence's headphones and Alan's new found favourite bagpipe music coming from the speakers all around. She thought she might scream shortly.

Huffing, she turned to look at Kate who was gazing out the window with a frown set deep in her forehead. Reaching out, Caroline put a tentative hand on the baby bump, glad when Kate moved it just a little to where the baby was wriggling and squeezed her hand gently.

She shouldn't be focused on herself tonight. She'd focus on Kate, making sure she had a good night. Pleased with herself for thinking of something that she'd struggled with in the past, Caroline dropped a tender kiss to Kate's shoulder and settled back a little further into her seat. "Alan, do you think perhaps we could lower the music or put something else on?"

…

Kate looked up at the house and took a deep breath. It was huge. And the woman she assumed was Gary's wife was wearing a bloody floor length dress and heels, not a hair out of place and a bright smile on her face. She was beautiful.

Kate looked down at herself then and gave a sigh. As she considered crying off once more, Caroline opened the car door for her and held out a hand. Kate didn't want this Felicity woman seeing the ungainly way she got from the low car. She could already imagine Celia making excuses for her.

"Kate." Caroline bent down just a little so the others wouldn't be able to hear her. "Do you really want to go home? If you do, I will call us a taxi."

Kate let out a sigh, considered Caroline's face for a few seconds and then shook her head, allowing the blonde to help her from the car.

* * *

Caroline declined the offer of wine and instead opted for a glass of water before she joined Kate by one of the large from windows, placing a hand gently on her back. "It's beautiful here, isn't it?"

Kate nodded but continued to look forlornly out at the perfectly manicured gardens.

"…What's the matter, Kate? Really. I know you don't usually let my mother get to you." Caroline brushed her hand up and down Kate's back, glancing over at the others in time to see Celia give her a slightly disapproving look.

"I don't know." Kate shrugged, her voice full of emotion. "I wanted a baby so badly, I thought I would love being pregnant, too. I have, most of the time, but now I'm tired and slow and fat, and we've only just got married. I wouldn't blame you if you found someone else."

Caroline couldn't help the edge to her voice as she replied, "I hope you know me better than that."

Kate glanced at Caroline for a moment before squinting her eyes, tears shining in them. "I do. I don't know what's going on with me."

"It's hormones, sweetheart. It happens to everyone." Caroline ignored the feeling of her mother's eyes boring into the back of her head and leant forward to give Kate a tender kiss. "I meant what I said earlier, Kate. I think you're beautiful. You were the day I met you, and the only thing that's changed since then is that I get a warm, happy feeling every time I see you, because you're carrying out baby."

Kate nodded, lifting a hand to brush a couple of stray tears. "She is our baby."

"...Is that maybe what's worrying you? That I won't accept her as my own?" Caroline knew she'd hit the nail on the head when Kate's eyes filled with tears and she turned away to look out the window again. "Kate, I may not have…agreed with how she was conceived, but I fell in love with her as soon as I saw her on that monitor, and I would do absolutely anything for her, just like I would the boys. She may not have my DNA, but I am going to change her nappies, rock her to sleep, cry at her first day of school, tell her off for eating sweets before dinner. That is what will make me her mother. DNA is irrelevant."

Kate turned back to Caroline now and allowed the blonde to brush away her tears for her as she gave an apologetic smile. "Sorry. I'm being silly. And you wanted me here as a sane person."

Caroline smiled at this, running a hand down Kate's arm to take her hand. "You're still saner than the rest of this lot. Shall we go and join them now?"

Kate nodded, squeezing Caroline's hand as she let her back towards the group.

* * *

A couple of hours later Caroline rested in the doorway of Gary's study watching Kate and Lawrence play chess, a smile on her face. Gillian was sitting beside Lawrence trying to help him but just making it more difficult, while Felicity was stood beside Kate studiously writing down notes as Kate explained the game.

"This is the life."

"Sorry?" Caroline turned her head to find Gary beside her watching the same scene.

"I always wondered what it would be like to be from a big family, and now I finally have one of my own." Gary smiled faintly at Alan and Celia who sat fast asleep in front of the fire.

"Oh, this is the nice part. You haven't witnessed the arguments, physical fights, name calling or messiness. Not to mention the anger at birthdays when one person finds out you spent more on another person." Caroline laughed.

"…It's worth it though, surely?"

Caroline thought back over Christmases past, 5 people sitting around a table in tense silence, wondering if John would get drunk, or Celia would get annoyed, or Caroline would cry. How different they were to the last one. "…Very worth it."

Sensing Caroline watching her, Kate looked up and they shared a smile as Caroline mouthed 'you okay?' and Kate nodded back, holding out a hand for Caroline to join her.

"Completely worth it." Caroline smiled at Gary and then joined the group.

* * *

"It wasn't too bad, was it?" Caroline asked through the bathroom door as she washed her face that evening.

"No, I suppose not. Well, your mother was a bit…weird." Kate settled back into her pillow and pulled the quilt higher, thinking about how Celia had suddenly acted as though they were best friends as soon as she realised Felicity liked Kate. "She asked if she could come into the birthing room, you know?"

"Well she can fuck right off."

"Caroline!" Kate laughed, grinning at her wife as she exited the bathroom. "I dare you to say that to her face."

"I'm really not that brave." Caroline offered as she slid under the covers and curled up to Kate's side, one hand moving to caress her bump.

"..You know, aside from your mother being weird and me being all emotional, I actually had a lovely night." Kate dropped a kiss to Caroline's head.

"Did you?" Caroline mumbled into Kate's shoulder, her feet tangling with Kate's legs.

"It made me realise that actually, I don't care what your mother thinks, or anyone else. You think I'm beautiful and you love the baby, and that's all that matters."

"I do." Caroline nodded, giving a happy sigh as she felt sleep beginning to wash over her. "My love is as beautiful as a-"

"If you're going to bring up me being like a jeep again, you can sleep in the spare room." Kate laughed, reaching out to switch off the light.

"I was going to say that my love is as beautiful as a blossom tree in flower."

"Mm, good try, but I read that on the plaque in their bathroom, too."

"Who even has plaques in their bathroom?" Caroline grumbled, sliding her hand under Kate's t-shirt. "I do think you're beautiful Kate, and you get more and more beautiful every day."

"Do I?" Kate whispered into the air, a smile on her lips. When she received no reply, she looked down to find Caroline fast asleep. Kissing her hair again, Kate closed her eyes.


	48. Enforced Separation

Enforced separation. Well, no. Not enforced. Not as such. Caroline and the boys had been invited to the farm for the weekend and Lawrence had seemed so excited by the idea of her company that she'd felt immediately guilty about all the time she spent away from home these days. She'd decided then and there she was going to have a weekend just for the boys. Kate had giggled through the blonde's nervous attempts to explain what she wanted to do. She'd even tried to convince Kate to book a hotel room near to the farm so she would be there if Caroline needed her.

Kate had refused, and Caroline was immediately panicked until Kate put her hands to Caroline's cheeks and gave her a gentle kiss. She said she'd stay at her own home for the weekend, that she understood. Upon worried questioning, she said she wasn't hurt, or upset. She knew Caroline's children were important, and she knew she'd been monopolising her time of late.

Except, waking up alone for the first time in a long time that Saturday morning, Caroline realised it wasn't just upsetting Kate that had worried her, it was upsetting herself. She missed Kate so much that her chest ached, and that told her too much about her feelings for the language teacher, depth of feeling she wasn't yet ready to deal with.

Kate had giggled again when Caroline called her on Saturday morning. 6am, and she'd only left her house at 11pm the night before. Yes, she was fine. Yes, she'd had a good sleep (until it was interrupted by an insistent caller). Kate's voice had softened as she answered the next question- yes, she too wished they'd woken up together. Caroline had seemed sated with that and they'd soon hung up, Kate promising to go in early on Monday to hear a recap of Caroline's weekend.

However, Caroline had lasted precisely two hours before she needed Kate again. She'd fallen back asleep after the call only to have a dream about Kate leaving her, saying she was too complicated, too unwilling to be open, too stilted.

So, at 8am a bleary-eyed Kate in her dressing gown opened the door to the insistent knocker, squinting sleepily. "Caroline?"

"Sorry." Caroline offered breathlessly. She'd dressed hurriedly in the outfit she'd left out for the day, soft blue jumper on back to front and mismatched shoes on.

"What's happened?" Kate stepped aside to allow her in, but Caroline shook her head.

"I need to say it now, or I will lose my nerve." She moved from foot to foot, whether from nervousness or cold, she wasn't sure.

"Caroline-"

"The thing is, I love you. I know I haven't said…but I was hoping I was showing you without actually saying it. But now it's got worse."

"…Got worse than loving me?" Kate rested against the doorframe with a gentle frown.

Caroline nodded earnestly, wringing her hands. "Because loving is okay. It's nice. It makes you feel nice, doesn't it? But the thing is I've been apart from you for less than ten hours and it doesn't feel nice at all. It hurts. My chest hurts. I don't like not being near you anymore, and the thing is that has absolutely terrified me, because I've never loved anyone like that before." Caroline stilled then, staring at the door frame, but before kate could utter a word, Caroline began again. "And I know I promised the boys a weekend of just the three of us, but I can't do it. I can't be away from you the whole weekend." She finally, boldly, looked Kate in the eye. She didn't see the rejection or the amusement she'd expected, what she had been terrified of seeing.

"Caroline-" Kate began.

"Will you come with us? To the farm. It's not nice. It's freezing, and there'll be no room. We'll probably have to sleep on the couch. And it's muddy. The boys say it's okay. Well, William said it's okay, because he wants to talk to you about something, and Lawrence just grunted when I asked him, but he didn't kick off or roll his eyes. You don't have to, if you've got plans, but-"

Caroline's ramblings were finally quietened by Kate dropping a gentle kiss to her lips, then another and another until Caroline's shoulders relaxed and her hands lifted to rest on Kate's hips.

"Is that a yes?"

Kate smiled now. A brilliant, wide smile that made Caroline smile, too. "You're completely mad, you do know that? Coming here ranting at me at 8am on a Saturday morning, telling me you love me in the least romantic way possible, like you'd really rather not."

"That's not-" Caroline began, but was silenced by another kiss.

"You'll have to come inside for a minute while I pack."

"You'll come?!" Caroline looked incredulous.

"Well I can hardly NOT come after everything you've just said, can I?"

…

"Don't even think about it."

Kate stilled. Straightened her back. Turned towards the voice. "..I'm the guest."

"I told you it was muddy, you should have brought your own!" Caroline argued, trying to swoop down and get the gumboots Kate had been about to pull on.

"I don't have any, and my shoes will be ruined!"

"I've got a spare pair." Gillian had offered.

…

Ten minutes later a smug Kate got a tour of the farm in brand spanking new gumboots and Caroline trudged alone behind in an old pair of Gillian's, sure she could feel spiders tickling over her toes.

She couldn't be annoyed, though, for Kate and Lawrence were walking heads bent together as they laughed about something. She quickly realised it was her own stomping that had tickled them, and stomped a littler harder. She regretted it immediately as a huge gush of mud hit her.

It was all silent for a moment, Lawrence, Kate and Gillian looking at her with horror to see her reaction. Then suddenly laughter burst from her lips. Soon, the four of them were all laughing so hard no noise came out.

Well, if Lawrence and Kate bonded over her misfortune, so be it.


	49. Laying the past to rest- Part 1

Caroline was actually physically shaking. She couldn't remember the last time she had been so scared she shook.

It had all started so well- Kate had adored her idea of going back to the hotel where two of the momentous moments of their relationship had happed- one they'd both like to forget, and the other that they cherished. Kate had been so touched by Caroline's birthday gift that tears had even shone in her eyes as she watched her wife stutter out an explanation.

Caroline had made sure to not just book a double room, but the best double room in the place. She had considered the honeymoon suite, but knowing her mother and Alan had slept in there on their wedding night…well, she couldn't book it. Kate had giggled at that for a long time until Caroline, too, had given in to her laughter.

But now she sat here in front of the fire and completely alone, reminiscent of that first time. She might have ruined things again, but this time there was so much more to lose.

Caroline wanted desperately to drink the wine that sat on the table but was too fearful of spilling it everywhere and making a scene. Not that it would matter anyway, they'd made a scene already, as soon they arrived.

They'd argued furiously in the car on the way here, then walked up to the building in complete silence. Once inside, Caroline had made a stilted joke about hoping Kate hadn't invited Greg, and Kate had snapped at her in such a voice that everyone had turned to look their way. Then, through gritted teeth, Kate had said she was going for a walk. That had been over an hour ago and Caroline hadn't seen her since.

As Caroline finally risked spillage and reached for the wine, a shadow fell across her. When she looked up, she saw Kate move to stand in front of the fire, watching the flames flicker. Caroline tried to kick her brain into gear, to think of what to say, but nothing came to mind and she found herself just staring at her wife's back forlornly.

"…I'm sorry."

Astonished blue eyes flew up to look into brown as Kate turned around.

"I'm sorry." Kate repeated, looking strained and upset. "I didn't mean to start an argument, and I didn't mean to be gone for so long. It's just when I realised how long I had been gone I was too scared to come back incase you'd left."

"Why would I leave?" Caroline asked in a voice too full of emotion.

Kate looked even more strained at this and took the few steps forwards so she could sit beside Caroline, quickly pulling one of the blonde's hands into her own. "I was just so nervous about coming back here, even though I wanted to, and it's the first time I've left Flora overnight, and then I started to remember out first time here and…I'm sorry. Can you forgive me?"

"Me forgive you?" Caroline looked startled. "I thought..I thought it was my fault. I thought you were going to leave _me."_

Kate shook her head, tears shining in her eyes. "I wouldn't. I...that day, Caroline...I over-reacted. I just had what I'd always wanted so close, almost within my grasp, and I was scared, I was excited. I thought...As soon as I told you about wanting a baby, i just imagined having one with you. And then you didn't book a room, I know it was only a small thing, but I over-reacted. Then after christmas, you never seemed to want to talk about it, but I can't stop thinking about it and then the drive here..." Kate sighed, silently willing Caroline to look up from staring at her lap. "Caroline?"

"...But you're not going to leave me?" Her voice was thick with emotion and Kate couldn't bare that she'd been the cause of it.

"No." Kate whispered, tilting Caroline's face until the blonde was forced to look at her, pulling her close as blue eyes clouded with tears. "I'm sorry." She repeated, the words mummbled in Caroline's shirt.

"I don't think I want to stay here tonight." Caroline whispered.

The words almost physically hurt kate. For the first time, she was truly seeing how deeply Caroline felt things, how hurt she'd been by what had passed between them, and more than ever she wished it had never happened. "Home?"

Caroline drew in a shaking breath as she nodded.

"..But we do need to talk about this, Caroline."

"I know." The blonde nodded, giving a watery smile. "At home."

"Okay." Kate smiled back, brushing away a few of Caroline's tears. "Our home."

Caroline nodded, giving another smile, this one a little stronger.


	50. Laying the past to rest- Part 2

**A/N: For those who didn't feel like the last one-shot was finished, I've written part two. Enjoy, and thank you as always for your lovely reviews.**

* * *

Caroline was silent the whole way home and very subdued all evening. That night, they made love. That was the only phrase for what happened- it was gentle, quiet, slow, and once over they stayed curled together as though they were one.

It was Caroline who finally broke the tense silence that had settled between them that day. "I had considered trying to talk you out of having a baby. For your sake, after the miscarriages, but also for my own. I was 46, I didn't want to have to think about babies."

Kate could feel Caroline's body beginning to tense again, worried her words would cause pain. To try and reassure her without breaking the flow of words, Kate dropped a kiss to the head that was nestled between her neck and shoulder, her hand beginning to brush up and down Caroline's bare back.

"I think when I called up, I was already…subconsciously aware that if I tried to convince you not to have a child, we'd fall out. I suppose that's why I booked the separate rooms. I knew, deep down, that it wasn't going to go well. That's why I didn't correct the man who worked there when he asked if I was booking two rooms." Caroline sighed, curling a little tighter into Kate's side. "But on the drive there, we were both so happy, and I allowed myself to think what it might be like if we had a family. It would be so different to how it was when the boys were little, I knew that. There would be laughter in the house. There would be a lightness, a happiness that perhaps my boys had never seen. And suddenly I wanted it, too. Desperately. I wanted a baby with you, I wanted a family with you. When we pulled up outside, and I told you about calling Alan dad…it was because I was thinking about how wonderful…how perfect it would be if I could make you pregnant."

Caroline paused now, a lump in her throat making the words difficult to get out.

Kate dropped another kiss to Caroline's hair, murmuring words of love into the blonde locks. This seemed to bolster Caroline, and after a sniff she continued.

"I suddenly, desperately, didn't want you to know about the rooms. I tried to talk over the receptionist so you wouldn't hear, but you did, and I saw the spark leave your eyes. Just like that, I'd ruined everything. By being selfish and not thinking things through, I'd ruined the best thing that ever happened to me."

Kate felt the wetness of Caroline's tears on her now and was desperate to interrupt, to remind Caroline nothing was ruined, but she kept silent.

"Greg was nice. I know he was. I just didn't like him because he was making you happy, and all I ever seemed to do was upset you. And your words to me about…they hurt. And I know they were intended to, but…making love to you was the best thing I'd ever done. I'd felt truly me for the first time ever. During those handful of times, I was really beginning to feel…free. And then you saying they were embarrassed fumbles-"

"Caroline." Kate finally spoke, her voice strained.

This time it was Caroline who kissed Kate. She lifted her head and dropped a tender kiss to Kate's cheek. "I know you didn't mean it. I know that now. But then..when I went up to bed, I just imagined you in another room with Greg, having sex…enjoying sex with someone else. Someone who made you happy, made you laugh, someone who could give you what you wanted more than anything. And I felt like I had nothing to offer. I'd given you myself fully when we'd made love, and I'd been found wanting. I cried myself to sleep that night. And for a many, many nights afterwards."

"Caroline." Kate repeated, trying desperately to get from her hold so she could look her in the eye. The blonde finally relented, her grip releasing so Kate could move. Soon they were both lying on their side facing one another, eye to eye.

"When you came to tell me you were pregnant, I cried again. I was so happy for you, but so…well, I'd missed out on it, hadn't I? Finding out, reassuring you when you worried. Then I thought I'd miss out on everything else, too. The birth, her first smile…her life. And the thing is, as soon as I started thinking about our family during that car ride, I loved her. She was my baby, too."

Kate gave a pained smile now, lifting a hand to stroke her wife's cheek, brushing away a stray tear, brown eyes gazing into blue, sharing feelings that were too difficult, too complex to voice. When she realised Caroline had either finished speaking or did not have the strength to continue, Kate began her story.

"I hadn't allowed myself to think of having a child since Richard. I'd never seen myself as a single parent, not after so many losses. I worried I'd just spoil the child and smother it. I needed someone else to balance me out. I might have decided to go it alone eventually, I don't know, but when you asked me about the house, this…forgotten flower began to bloom inside me. It was suddenly a possibility again. I'd always seen myself as a mother, ever since I was a little girl, and suddenly you were offering me that possibility again."

"Greg was offering you that possibility."

"No. You were. Greg…if Greg didn't want to do it, he was replaceable. You never were. It was with you or doing it alone." Kate studied blue eyes until she was sure she Caroline understood before she continued. "But I was nervous. You hadn't exactly been…committed before then. And I understood why, I did. I knew how difficult it would be for you, I knew what I was asking of you. I just hoped I was worth it."

"You were." Caroline whispered, glad when Kate smiled at her.

"That day, when you picked me up, I was so excited that I might have burst. I did burst. I had you, I had a baby in the future, I finally had this perfect life, the one I'd always wanted."

"..And then I showed you again that I wasn't committed." Caroline nodded, beginning to understnand.

"I still over-reacted. I think because I'd been so excited, so on edge since Greg agreed to meet, since you agreed to…everything. So when I heard that yet again you'd denied our relationship, I…It hurt. I wanted to hurt you back. I needed that relationship and you were denying me it, so I wanted to deny you what you needed, too. Love. I knew that when we made love you'd relax, you'd be your real self, so I used that as my weapon, I suppose. I'm ashamed of that now. I was ashamed as soon as I calmed down enough to think straight. I wish I'd never said it."

"Then why did you say no that day I came around with flowers?" Caroline asked, her voice almost a whisper.

"Because it was 4 months, Caroline. You waited four months to ask me. You barely acknowledged me at school, you didn't even seem bothered when I told you about the baby. I thought it was just you…denying we had had anything. Again. I was still hurting."

Caroline let out a sigh, reaching up to begin tracing a tear down Kate's cheek and along her jaw, wiping it away before she moved her hand to brush hair from her face, leaning forward to drop kisses to Kate's forehead, her lips, her eyelids.

"At your mother's wedding…that was the first time I realised you were hurting, too. We were both hurting, and we didn't need to be. On the drive home, I thought about everything that had kept us apart in the past, and it was no longer there. Your family all knew. When you came to the hospital after…I knew you wanted the baby, too. So there was no reason to be apart anymore expect my stubbornness. So I came back."

Caroline smiled at this memory, her eyes shutting briefly. "You came back for forever."

"I came back for you."

"I love you, Kate." Caroline whispered.

Kate inched forward to capture Caroline's lips with her own. They made love again, then. In the same position, lying on their sides facing one another, with eyes level, they made love.

It was only as the sun began to arch its gentle glow into the room that they discussed the day before again.

"We never discussed it. I tried to bring it up so often, and you'd just give a cheery response or no response at all. I thought maybe when you booked the weekend away you were trying to tell me that you were ready to talk. But on the drive there, you were telling me all the plans you'd made for the weekend. All lovely, thoughtful plans, but ones which left no time to talk."

"I was trying to spoil you. To show you how much I love you."

Their positions were reversed now, Kate's head nestled into Caroline's neck, and the blonde felt more than saw her smile at those words. "You don't need to spoil me to show me that, Caroline. I'd much prefer you just tell me. Like you have tonight."

Caroline let out a sigh, but there was no longer any hurt or emotion behind it. "Do you think now we've talk it over, it will stop being a..shadow over us?"

"..I hope so." Kate replied truthfully.

"…I think maybe we've been so focused on being in love, we haven't much thought about how to be a couple." Caroline nodded to herself. "I think maybe what we need to do is agree to talk more, be more open about our thoughts."

They both knew what she was really saying was that it was she who needed to be more open, but Kate agreed readily nonetheless. "Do you think we'lll be okay, now?"

"..i think we'll probably still having blazing rows sometimes, but I don't think I'll be scared of you leaving me anymore."

Kate smiled at this, dropping a tender kiss to Caroline's neck. "Do you think we'll last forever, then?"

"Forever is a mighty long time."

"But in theory?" Kate asked, lifting her head to look into sleepy blue eyes.

"I cannot imagine every wanting, loving, needing you, any less than I do right this second."

"I love you, Caroline Elliot." Kate whispered as the gold sunlight finally topped the window ledge and began streaming into the room.

"I love you, too, Kate McKenzie."


	51. Fine

"Why are you sitting out here? It's freezing." Caroline looked at her son sat on the front door step as she climbed out of the jeep.

"I can't go inside. It's too…weird." Lawrence shrugged.

"Weird? How?" Caroline glanced up at the house and then turned to get her bag from the car.

"Gillian is here. I think her and Kate are..bonding." He wrinkled his nose.

Giving a soft laugh, Caroline shut the door and approached the house. "Why is that weird?"

"Because they're…talking. About you."

Caroline stilled at that, her voice neutral as she asked. "Bad things?"

"Yes." Lawrence nodded his head miserably. "I heard Kate telling Gillian how well you kiss!"

Caroline let out the breath she'd been holding and continued towards the door. "I'll lift your game ban, you can go and get your controller thingy from the top draw in my study."

Jumping up happily, Lawrence gave her a one-armed hug. "Thanks ma!"

"Is that you, Caroline?" Gillian called out as soon as she heard the door.

Caroline wrinkled her nose at the muddy boots by the side of the door. Still, at least she'd taken them off, she supposed. "Last time I checked."

There was a bang of someone walking into something before Gillian weaved her way through from the kitchen. "Hello, sis!"

"Ah, hi." Caroline smiled, holding up her arms so she could get past the woman without being enveloped in the hug that Gillian was so obviously planning on. "Kate around?"

"Hi." Kate offered from where she rested against the kitchen bench top.

"Hi." Caroline responded with a smile, putting a hand either side of her wife on the bench so she could lean forward and kiss her. "What's going on?" She finally asked through smiling teeth.

"She turned up with two bottles of wine, remembered I couldn't drink and apparently decided to drink them both herself. I think maybe she's broken up with someone, only I can't seem to ascertain who or why, or what happened."

Sighing, Caroline turned her head towards the doorway, through which she could hear Gillian asking Lawrence about his game. She should probably go and rescue him. "How's Flora?"

"She's fine. Fast asleep upstairs."

Caroline nodded before looking back at her wife. "Lawrence said you were talking about me."

Kate smiled faintly at this, lifting a hand to touch Caroline's cheek briefly. "Nothing bad. Gillian said she'd sworn off men and might try women. She asked me what it was like, and I told her how well you kiss."

"Well. That's just me, though, not all women, surely?" Caroline asked with a hint of a smile.

"I'd say your kissing is definitely above average." Kate smiled, kissing Caroline again before she slipped under her arm to go and save her stepson.

Sighing happily to herself, Caroline surveyed the bottles of wine in the kitchen and then decided to pour herself a glass.

* * *

Three hours later Caroline was swilling wine absently around her glass, bored out of her mind. Gillian was talking, though she'd zoned out long ago and had no idea about what. Even patient, kind Kate had stopped listening. In fact, she looked fast asleep at the dinner table. Lawrence was sat glumly playing with the last of the peas on his plate, hoping to be dismissed from the room soon so he could go and be bored elsewhere.

"And then he said fine! Can you believe that?! He just said fine!" Gillian looked at Caroline incredulously.

"…Well, there you are, then. Lawrence,if you go and load the dishwasher you can go upstairs afer." Caroline offered, taking the brief respite of the story to get up and begin clearing things, hoping Gillian would take it as her cue to leave. Lawrence willingly jumped up to help her.

Apparently Kate wasn't asleep, because when the faintest cry could be heard from upstairs she was on her feet practically running from the room so she could get to the doorway before Caroline did, offering her wife an apologetic smile as she disappeared up the stairs.

"I don't know what sort of person he thinks I am." Gillian muttered.

"..It's getting awfully late. Perhaps it's time to call it a night." Caroline attempted.

"She's had too much to drink, she can't drive." Lawrence pointed out.

Caroline's eyes shut briefly, wondering if she could stand a 40 minute drive with this woman in her current state. Probably not. "…I'll call you a taxi."

"Can't afford it." Gillian shrugged, downing the last of her wine. "I'll just stay here tonight. You won't mind, will you? I'll take the couch. I'll be able to driv by morning."

"Well, I…well…well, we all have school in the morning, so we'll be going to bed very soon."

"It's fine. I'm used to going to bed early. I'll be fine. Just like he said. Fine. Can you believe he just said fine?!" Gillian began working herself up again and Caroline let out a long sigh.

"We've got a spare room upstairs. Come on. I'll show you up." Caroline disappeared into the hallway, Lawrence racing past her so he could get away before Gillian started again.

* * *

"Do you think she's okay?"

Caroline stopped wiping her make-up off for a moment to look at Flora, currently being breastfed and looking as happy as larry. "She looks fine."

"Not Flora. Gillian!"

"Oh, who knows. I've told you what she's like when she drinks. I'm sure she will be fine and full of apologies in the morning." Caroline finished cleaning her face and then joined her wife in bed, curling onto her side to watch the vision of motherhood before her.

They both gazed at Flora for a while in silence before Kate asked, "Should I go and talk to her, make sure she's okay?"

"No! She'll be fine. Leave her be." Caroline replied as she watched her daughter with complete adoration.

* * *

"Morning."

Caroline looked up from feeding Flora to give her half sister a smirk. "Morning. How are you feeling?"

"Rough." Gillian rested her elbows on the kitchen bench top before lowering her head into her hands. "I'm so sorry."

"I've still no idea what you were talking about yesterday."

"Oh, nothing. Some idiot's been asking me out for months, I finally said yes and he just said oh, fine. He wanted to take me to bloody McDonald's, Caroline!"

"McDonald's?! The cheek of the man."

"I know! And he probably wanted me to pay for myself." Gillian offered, finally looking up to share a smile with Caroline before she emitted a groan. "I'm so sorry. I don't even know why I was upset. It was stupid."

"It's not stupid." Caroline gave a kind smile before returning to watch Flora.

"..She looks so much like Kate." Gillian observed after a while.

"Mm, I know." Caroline smiled fondly.

"..she looks like you, too."

"Do you think so?" Caroline looked up, pleased.

"Mm. She's going to grow up to be a right snotty bitch." Gillian gave a laugh, ducking the teatowel that Caroline threw at her.

"Last time I let you stay over." Caroline smiled before asking gently, "Are you sure you're okay?"

"Yeah, fine. I'd better get off."

"...Why don't you come back on friday? You can stay for dinner, watch a movie."

"...Yeah. Yeah. That sounds lovely."

..

"Why the bloody hell did you ask her that for?" Lawrence hissed from where he'd been sitting as soon as they heard Gillian's car start.

"Because she's lonely, Lawrence. And I know what that feels like."

"No chance of getting lonely around here with Flora crying all day and Kate's friends in and out all the time."

"No." Caroline agreed with a happy smile.


	52. Everything is Perfect

**A/N: A different version of events! Enjoy, and thank you so much for your reviews!**

* * *

The day was lovely and sunny, blue skies all around. Not that Caroline would be able to enjoy it, because Gavin had called to book a meeting with her in her already cramped schedule. Frankly she'd be lucky if she even got some lunch today, or got out of school before 9pm.

"Caroline! I'm so glad I've caught you!" Beverley appeared, forcing Caroline reluctantly from her daydream of a picnic full of her favourite foods.

"Is Gavin here already?!" Caroline glanced at her watch. Typical. Demands a meeting at 12, yet gets here at 11.

'No, it's…" Beverley paused now. She hadn't been officially told of Caroline's relationship with Kate, but she had her suspicions. But what if she were wrong? Well, she should be told anyway, she supposed. "It's Kate. She wants to drive herself to hospital. She's bleeding."

"What?" Caroline stopped dead in her tracks.

"Gavin's going to-"

"Where is she?"

"Your meeting with Gavin is-"

"Where is she?!" This is the first time Caroline had ever snapped at Beverley, and in that instant the PA knew for sure about her relationship with Kate.

"She was going to the staffroom to get her car keys."

Nodding, Caroline rushed back down the stairs, not even hearing the rest of her PA's words.

* * *

Kate was glad the staffroom was empty when she walked in. She wouldn't allow herself tears. In fact, she felt almost too scared for tears, as though her mind had gone numb to protect itself from what was to come.

Yet her hands still shook as she pulled her bag from its spot, the contents falling loudly to the floor, spreading out. She couldn't see her keys among the things and her mind couldn't seem to decide what to do, where to look first. Perhaps under the table. But she was too scared to move the hand from her bump to get down and look.

"Kate?"

Kate shut her eyes at the worried voice that reached her before it's owner did.

When Caroline came charging into the staffroom a moment later, Kate was stood surrounded by her things scattered far and wide, a blank expression on her face.

Caroline allowed herself only a moments panic before she pushed it deep down inside. She needed to be calm for Kate. Taking a deep breath, she moved to the still figure and put an arm around her, turning them both towards the doorway. "I'll drive you."

Kate nodded, allowing Caroline to lead her from the room. "…My things…"

"Beverley will put them back in your bag." Caroline reassured her. What she wanted to say was that everything would be fine, that their baby would be okay, but what if it wasn't?

* * *

The drive was done in silence, both Kate's hands on the bump she worried would not be there much longer, watching it as though hoping to see signs of life.

Caroline drove a little faster than she probably should have, her tyre's screeching more than once as she took a corner too fast, but they made it to the hospital in one piece, and a silent Kate let herself be led through the front doors and into the waiting room.

Once Kate was sat down, Caroline walked to the reception to book her in, her voice shaking as she spoke. The nurse offered such a kind smile that Caroline briefly allowed her panic to surface and a few tears to fall, wiped hastily away so Kate wouldn't notice.

When she returned to the brunette, she sat quietly beside her, both staring at the floor unitl Kate suddenly offered, "I'm sorry."

Caroline turned to her with raised eyebrows, unable to formulate a response for a moment, but finally managed, "You've nothing to be sorry for, Kate. Everything is going to be fine."

"Is it?"

Should she tell the truth? That it might not be? But she was here as Kate's partner, not as her boss. Kate knew that it might not be okay, so she needed be the voice of hope. "Yes."

At Caroline's sure word, Kate lifted her eyes to look at her.

"You're over 20 weeks, Kate. Whatever happened before, it's not happening again."

"…I keep thinking the baby hasn't been moving as much for the last few days." Kate admitted quietly.

"Probably in a food coma like the rest of us after that dinner at Gillian's."

Kate let out a noise between a strangled sob and a laugh, one hand releasing her bump to grip Caroline's tightly.

She didn't let go for the next 15 minutes, even when they were called in to the ultrasound room, and rather than watching the monitor, Kate watched Caroline's face to see her response.

The blonde had never felt pressure like this before, trying to keep her face neutral but not too neutral lest Kate read that she was hiding something. But then suddenly she could see the baby on screen, hear its heartbeat, see it beating. Her face broke into a smile and her tears finally broke free, too.

Eye's widening, Kate turned to look at the monitor, looking between it and the nurse.

"It's fine. Your baby is fine."

Kate gave a laugh, her hand gripping Caroline's tighter as she looked back at the monitor. "Can you tell what sex it is?"

"Well, I can give you a clue. It doesn't appear to have any testicles."

Kate gave another joyous laugh before turning to Caroline, another laugh escaping her lips then when she saw the blonde's face at the thought of having a daughter.

* * *

"Where's Kate? I thought she was the one who wanted us to have this family dinner once a week."

"She's upstairs in bed." Caroline offered as she glanced over the recipe to check she'd got everything.

"Will she be coming down to dinner?" Celia asked.

"I don't know. I don't think so. She's very tired. I might take her up something."

"..I suppose I should pop up and say hello." Celia offered with a weary sigh.

"No, I don't think that will be necessary, thank you."

"…Lawrence said you weren't at school this afternoon and he had to get a lift home with Angus."

"Did he? Well, there you go." Caroline opened a cupboard, annoyed to see she didn't have any bay leaves after all. Oh well, it would taste lovely without them, she was sure.

"Where were you?"

Sighing, knowing she would have to tell her at some point, Caroline took her glasses off. "if you must know, Kate had a bit of a bleed and we went to the hospital. Everything is fine, but it's been an emotional day, so I've told her to stay in bed and relax."

"Oh. Well. I'm glad everything is okay."

"Thank you." Caroline nodded, hoping to end the conversation there.

"..not surprising I suppose, given her history."

"Mother, I don't wish to discuss this any further with you, and I do not want you to talk about it to Kate, either. It's happened, it's over with, so nothing more to talk about, okay?"

"Alright. I was only saying." Celia shrugged, picking up her glass of wine. "I might go and sit with Lawrence."

"Fine. Good." Caroline nodded, already putting her glasses back on.

* * *

"Room service."

Kate looked up from her book with a smile. "It smells delicious. I could have come downstairs, though."

"Yes, you could have." Caroline agreed as she placed he tray on the bedside table. "But my girls have had a stressful day already, and I didn't want to add my mother to the mix."

"Your girls?" Kate asked with a giggle.

"Yes!" Caroline offered almost defensively.

"Well, I'm hardly a girl."

"You did just giggle."

Kate was positively grinning now. "Good point. What are you doing?" She watched as Caroline slid into bed beside her.

"You didn't think I was going to stay downstairs with my mother, did you?!" Caroline smiled, reaching for a bowl of food.

"Do you think there's a sort of…Celia vaccination we could give the baby when she's born?"

"Oh, wouldn't that be lovely. Something that just silences her, so you can see her lips moving but not hear a word." Caroline laughed at the thought.

"Not If you can read lips. It would be better if it pixelated her face as well."

Both women looked towards the voice from the doorway, surprised to see Lawrence stood there with a bowl of food.

"Can I come and eat in here? Granny's being…granny."

Smiling, Caroline patted a spot on the bed.

Everything was okay. Better than okay. Everything was perfect.


	53. Nightmares

**A/N: Couldn't sleep so decided to watch Season 3 episode 4. Terrible mistake.**

 **I did have an alternative ending for this chapter, but as I try and always give a happy ending, I've changed it to this. Anyone remember those choose your own adventure books that were all the rage in th 90s? I should do one of those for Caroline/Kate and that way you guys could decide how every chapter progresses!**

* * *

Kate had been planning a lie-in on such a dark, rainy Sunday morning. As thunder began to sound and a flash of lightning lit the sky she padded down the stairs in search of a mug of tea to take back to bed.

When the banging started, she thought for a moment that the house had been hit by lightning and her heart jumped into her throat. If it wasn't for the sudden wail of 'KATE!' filling the house, she might have stood there, as still as a statue, for a long time. Instead, her legs quickly carried her to the front door.

Pulling it open, she found a distraught Caroline stood before her, so wet that her hair was sticking to her head. She was still in her pyjamas and they were almost soaked right through. Her eyes were rimmed in red and as she took a gulp of air and released a sob, Kate's heart dropped and then began to hammer. Someone had died.

"Kate." Caroline released the name again, less of a wail this time and more of a cry over the sound of the rain.

It felt like minutes before Kate's brain kicked into gear, but in reality it was merely seconds before she pulled her inside, Caroline instantly moving into her arms and burying her face into Kate's tshirt. "Caroline, what's happened?" When she heard no reply, Kate pushed the door shut with her foot, worried she wouldn't be able to hear over the howl of the wind. "Caroline? You're scaring me."

Caroline pulled back then, just a little. Along with blonde hair sticking to her face and droplets of water, there were tears and tracks of many more than had been shed. She released a loud sob, reaching up to cup Kate's cheek before she began dropping kisses all over her face.

"Caroline, please. What's happened?" Kate begged, taking hold of the blonde's wrists so she could move away just a little and look her in the eye.

"You weren't answering your phone." Caroline finally offered, her voice hoarse.

"Because I was asleep." Kate frowned with worry, beginning to turn away. "I'll get you a towel. You-

"Don't!" Caroline grabbed Kate's wrist, her voice full of anguish. "Don't leave me."

Kate turned back, studying the face before her. "…Let's go and sit on the couch, then?"

Caroline looked as though she wanted to say no, but in the end she agreed with a small nod, allowing Kate to lead her towards the couch and sit her down.

"Tell me what's happened." Kate offered again as she reached forward and tucked some hair behind Caroline's ear and she drew in a shaky breath.

"I h-had a dream where you…d-died. It felt so real. I thought it was real. Even after I woke up. And your phone just kept ringing and I was so scared you'd died." The words fell out quickly now they'd started and Caroline's tears began again in earnest. "We were married, and we had a daughter called Flora. She had colic. But you'd never met her, you'd died and left her with me but without you, and I was so scared I was doing the wrong thing but I didn't know what to do for the best."

Kate's frown softened now and she stroked Caroline's cheek gently. "I'm fine. I'm here. It was just a dream."

Caroline sniffed then released a soft sob. "Promise?"

"I promise you that it was just a dream, Caroline. See?" Kate lifted Caroline's hand and placed it over her heart. Caroline's eyes flickered shut, and as she felt Kate's steady heartbeat her own began to slow.

"It felt so real."

"It wasn't."

"..I don't want it to happen, Kate. I don't want to ever be without you."

Tutting softly, Kate drew Caroline to her chest, letting the blonde rest against her. She dropped gentle kisses to her hair and rocked her slowly, one hand rubbing her back.

"I don't want to go back to sleep." Carole murmured sleepily a short while later, her breathing slowed and her eyelids droopy.

"I'll be right here when you wake up." Kate promised.

From that day forward things changed for Caroline. Things that had seemed so important before didn't seem to matter any longer. Within weeks she had sold her house, had divorced John, and had given her mother an ultimatum.

She seemed like a fierce, determined woman who was going to get what she wanted.

It was only Kate who saw the other side of her, the woman who woke in the night and sobbed, terrified of losing a love she'd finally allowed herself to feel. As time went on, the nightmares became fewer, but whenever they happened, Kate would rest Caroline's head against her chest and Kate's steady, strong heartbeat would lull her back to sleep.


	54. Alien invasion

"Do you think this is okay? God, I haven't made this in so long." Kate hovered by the stove stirring what was in the pot. Caroline was sat at the breakfast bar and had been watching her intently since she'd arrived home twenty minutes ago.

"I don't know, I'd need to taste you. It. I'd need to taste it."

Kate bit her lip as she turned around, her eyes dancing with amusement as she looked at Caroline. She could still remember the first time Caroline had said that line during their love making. She hadn't been particularly vocal up to that point, but that day had been their first time alone in almost a fortnight, a fortnight of long looks and stolen kisses.

Lifting the spoon from the pot, Kate blew on hit delicately, pursing her lips just a little, before she lifted the spoon to Caroline's lips.

They'd been in bed. It was always in bed in those days, though these days they were a little more adventurous. This mornings shower scene came to mind, though it had been interrupted and was probably the cause of the look Caroline was giving her as her tongue darted out to taste what she was offered.

They'd been in bed, kissing, hands roaming almost desperately, breath hitching and chests heaving. Frustrated and desperate for touch, Kate had tried to lead Caroline's hand between her legs, but Caroline had shook her head, looking nervous and desperate and irrevocably turned on all at once. "I need to taste you." She'd not done that yet, had been too scared of disappointing Kate. But the need to taste her was becoming almost unbearable. Kate's long, low moan had told her she wanted it, too.

Moving down a sweat slicked body, kissing and tasting everywhere she came to, Caroline slowly reached her destination. Kate was already desperate for touch and was crying out, but Caroline took her time. She smelled, she kissed, she licked.

When Kate lifted her head, desperate to urge her on, a fresh wave of wetness was drawn from her overheated body as she saw that Caroline was touching herself, too. One hand buried between her legs, the other resting over Kate's middle, trying to lessen the movement of her hips.

As a groan of pure desire was pulled from Kate's lips, Caroline finally reached her destination. She tasted Kate.

"What do you think?" Kate's eyes sparkled.

Caroline let out a shaking breath. She, too, was remembering. "Perfect."

"..What time with Lawrence be home?" The plan was already being set in motion, Kate turning down the heat on the stove, Caroline sliding out of her jacket, both of them rushing towards thw doorway.

"About an hour. Not there. I can't wait." Caroline grabbed Kate's hand as she made for the stairs and instead led her to the study, free hand already beginning to undo Kate's shirt.

* * *

"What's that smell?!" Were the first words from Lawrence's mouth when he returned home.

"Do you want the good news or the bad news?" Kate asked as he joined her in the kitchen to find her looking forlornly at a pot of blackened food that sat on the stove, her cheeks flushed with what he assumed was annoyance.

"Good news?"

"You can pick the take-away for dinner!"

As Lawrence grinned and raced to get the menus from the draw by the home phone, Kate prodded the mess inside the pot with a spoon.

"Where's mum?" He asked when he returned, spreading the menus over the counter to try and pick something he fancied.

"Cleaning her study."

"Makes a change from her cleaning the kitchen, I suppose." Lawrence mummbled as he pulled the chinese menu closer, but then paused to ask, "Didn't she just clean it on saturday?"

"...I think she spilled coffee or something." Kate gave a shrug, studying the italian menu with great interest.

"She'll be grumpy, then." Lawrence grumbled, pushing the chinese away and instead reached for the Indian that his mother liked.

"Lawrence!" Caroline swept into the room a moment later, giving her squirming son a kiss on the cheek. "Good rugby practice?"

"...Kate, why is she being weird?"

"I'm not being weird!"

"You should be grumpy." Lawrence frowened.

"Should I? why?" Caroline smiled in response.

"...because you dropped a coffee in your office?"

"...Well, it's just coffee and paper, isn't it? Nothing to be upset about." Caroline ruffled Lawrence's hair and then went to pour herself a glass of wine.

Lawrence eyed his mum suspiciously and then pointedly gathered the menus up and walked from the room to read them somewhere his new mother, the alien, wasn't.

"How did you manage that?" Kate asked, finally releasing the laugh she'd held since her wife walked in.

"What?" Carolie smiled as she rested the wine bottle down and reached for a glass.

"Your shirt is on inside out. How did you manage to do up the buttons?"

Caroline looked down with a frown. "Oh, thank god. I thought I'd forgotten how to use my fingers properly."

As Kate was forced to bend forward to hold herself up on the bench top as she laughed, Caroline grinned at her.

* * *

"Remember that episode of Dr Who where the prime minister was taken over by aliens?" lawrence asked his brother over the phone from the other room.

"There's no such thing as aliens, Florence."

"Then you explain why mum was fine about dropping a coffee over her desk!"

"..Well, maybe..." William began, but came up short. "..Not cross at all?"

Lawrence glanced back into the kitchen to see Kate undoing his mother's shirt. "Mum!"

"We aren't-" Began Caroline defensively, looking to Kate when they heard the lounge door slam. "..I don't suppose it would go down very well telling him that we aren't doing anything because we've just had sex, would it?"

"Probably not, no. Caroline, your skirt is on back to front, too!"

"I had to get dressed quickly!" Caroline shot back defensively.

"Well, thank god Lawrence didn't just walk in on us fixing that." Kate laughed as she undid the skirt zip and began twisting it around. "Did you find your underwear, by the way?"

"Not yet. They probably went behind the radiator." Caroline sighed.

"I can help you look later, if you like." Kate smiled, toying with her wife's necklace. "Perhaps if we recreate the situation, we might get a clue where they went?"

"Would be silly not to try that, really, wouldn't it." Caroline smiled back.

"She's definately an alien." Lawrence grumbled to his brother when he heard his mother laugh from the other room.


	55. Gillian the Counsellor

They were peeling potatoes when Caroline first admitted it. "I didn't think I could love her. Not like the boys."

Gillian's knife hesitated, and then she continued peeling. "Why?"

Caroline gave a soft shrug, checking her potato before she put it in the pot. "How she was conceived. How she doesn't have my DNA. I didn't think I would ever feel like her mother, I thought she'd just feel like Kate's baby, and because I love Kate, I would..tolerate Flora. Like her, even. Maybe love her, but not like my own."

Gillian lifted her eyes to look at the girl currently fast asleep in her car seat, glad she couldn't understand a thing they were saying. "And now? How do you feel about her now?"

"..It is different, I suppose, but not in the way I expected it to be. I do feel the same about her as I did about the boys when they were young, and I felt it the instant I saw her and held her for the first time." Caroline paused her peeling to gaze at the baby.

"..But?"

"There's this..other feeling too. It's like-" Caroline struggled to think of a word. "It's like I feel possessive. When we're out, I feel like I need to be the one holding her or pushing her pram. When people ask about her, I am always cutting Kate off to reply, and I worry that I'm stopping her being able to enjoy talking about Flora, but I just can't seem to stop." Caroline sighed, putting the last of the potatoes in the pot.

"Why do you think that is?"

Caroline suddenly smiled at this question. "I should probably start paying you, since I seem to use you as a counsellor so often."

Gillian smiled and waved the thought away. "It's lovely not being the most messed up person in the family."

Both women laughed as Caroline swatted her with a tea towel, but as Calamity stirred they were forced to quieten themselves again, reaching now to peel the carrots.

"So?" Gillian prompted when Calamity had settled herself.

"…I think it's that I want people to know she's mine. Like I need the acknowledgement. Like I need people to know she is actually my daughter. I've been having this horrid dream where Kate dies and people keep trying to take Flora off me."

"That would never happen. You're listed on her birth certificate, aren't you?"

Caroline nodded but then gave a hopeless shrug.

"..Have you spoken to Kate about it?"

"I don't want to upset her."

"I hardly think she's going to be upset that you love her child as much as your own."

"But that there is the problem, Gillian! You said her child and my children, but Flora is my child, too!" Caroline shot out of her seat, agitated.

"Alright, alright. Sorry." Gillian reached out to rock Calamity a little when she gave a whimper at being woken again. "Didn't you feel like that with your…William and Lawrence? I was always paranoid that Raf was so lovely someone would realise he couldn't possibly be mine and they'd take him away."

Caroline returned to her seat, toying with the tea towel now instead of peeling the carrots. "I don't really remember. I think I was quite depressed after they were born, now I look back. I really don't remember much about their first few months."

"Well, there you are then. These first few months with Flora will be like she is your first child, and you're having all the first-time parent worries! It'll sort itself out. Especially when she starts talking and throwing tantrums. You'll wish she wasn't yours then. Or when she fills her nappy and throws it in the supermarket and it hits-"

"Hang on, I thought you said Raf used to be an angel!" Caroline laughed.

* * *

Gillian witnessed first-hand Caroline's possessiveness that evening. They'd invited Gary and his wife over for a family dinner and his wife had been eager to hold Flora, but Caroline couldn't seem to let go of the girl. Even when Kate offered to hold her so Caroline could eat, she was quickly dismissed.

Later, when Gillian and Kate were alone in the kitchen serving up dessert, she broached the subject with her. "..Caroline really seems to love Flora."

"Yeah, she does." Kate smiled.

"…Do you ever get to hold her? Or do anything for her, for that matter."

Kate's smile widened as she walked to put the ice-cream scoop in the sink. "You've noticed that, then? She's fine when we're alone, but as soon as we're in company, Caroline won't let Flora go."

"And that doesn't bother you? It'd piss me off no end."

"No. Not at all. She's..asserting herself as Flora's mother. If that's what she needs to do to feel part of her, then I don't mind one bit. Flora may have something to say on the matter when she's 26 and Caroline wants her to still live at home, but I think, for now, it's fine. It's nice. I like seeing it."

* * *

It transpired that Gillian was right. A few months later, when Flora could speak enough words to call out to Caroline, the feeling dampened. Caroline loved arriving home to hear "Mama!" being called, and she even loved getting a call when she was in a meeting because Flora was throwing a tantrum in the middle of the supermarket, tired and wanting her Mama who, she was convinced, would let her have a nap in the dairy aisle instead of in her pram.

It turned out it wasn't other people's idea of her role in Flora's life that had worried her, it was the thought that Flora herself might not see her as a mother. But now Flora knew she was her Mama, Caroline felt the last vestige of worry leave her mind. She adored her baby girl.


	56. Kiss me, Kate

Caroline's eyes kept drifting down to gaze at Kate's lips, and every so often her voice would fade mid-sentence and she would just look at Kate with sheer desperation. Kate was well aware Caroline wanted to kiss her, but the blonde wanted her to be the one to initiate it, as she'd initiated every other kiss they'd shared. Kate had spoken her friends about this very issue, and they had all agreed that Kate should hold out until Caroline made the first move. Except it had been precisely 6 days, and Kate wasn't sure how much longer she could last.

"Should we get the bill?"

"Hmm?" Caroline asked, glazed eyes lifting briefly from Kate's lips to look her in the eye.

"Should we get the bill? I have a few quizzes to mark before tomorrow, so…"

"Oh. Right. Yes. Okay." Caroline nodded, eyes searching the room to signal a waiter. Usually, over their dessert, Kate would lean towards Caroline and give her a tender kiss and they'd get the bill immediately, after which they'd rush breathlessly through the cold to Caroline's car to kiss again. But today, Kate hadn't even ordered dessert.

Caroline had wondered briefly if she had done something to upset Kate, but the brunette was as kind and lovely to her as usual, so she'd quickly dismissed that idea. Over the last couple of days, she'd began to wonder if the problem was actually that Kate was no longer interested in her. Their last kiss had been precisely 5 days, 20 hours and 15 minutes ago, and Caroline wasn't sure how she would last in a life with none of the gentle sighs Kate would give when they parted, or the way she would openly gaze at Caroline's lips in assembly, blushing furiously when she realised Caroline had noticed.

As Caroline walked in silence towards her car with Kate by her side, she wondered if perhaps she should jump before she was pushed. No. No, she owed Kate more than that. "Kate-"

"Dinner was lovely, wasn't it? They always do make delicious foods there. Imagine being rich enough to steal their chef away and have him cook every meal for us!" Kate linked her arm through Caroline's, dropping the briefest kiss to her cheek.

Kate hoped it might be enough to get Caroline to take the next step, but all Caroline did was look a little baffled, fumble with her car keys and then step away from Kate to unlock the car.

It was much the same when she dropped Kate home. Usually, she would follow her to the door and Kate would kiss her goodnight for so long that they'd be gasping for breath when they parted.

Tonight, though, Kate slipped from the car and walked to her front door, but Caroline stayed a couple of steps behind her, hands pushed deep into her coat pockets.

"Goodnight, then."

"Goodnight." Caroline replied, looking so earnest and worried that Kate couldn't help but descend her stairs to drop the briefest of kisses to the corner of Caroline's mouth.

"I'll see you tomorrow." She squeezed Caroline's arm and then retreated inside her cottage, pressing her back against the shut front door so she could draw in a deep breath.

* * *

"No Beverley today?"

Caroline jumped, just managing to catch the box of pens she held before they fell to the floor. "Uh, no. She has the flu, apparently."

"It's going around." Kate nodded.

"Mm." Caroline responded, keeping her eyes resolutely glued to the shelves full of stationary.

"…What is it you're looking for?"

Caroline struggled to remember, and the silence lasted a little too long before she managed to say, "Staples."

"People used to leave them everywhere, so Beverley puts them in here, now." Kate reached over Caroline's shoulder to pull a box forward.

"You have lovely hands."

Kate's hand hesitated before she continued to pull the box to the front. "Do I?"

Caroline nodded.

"..Thank you." Kate drew her hand back and waited a beat before offering. "I think you have lovely eyes."

"Do I?" Caroline swallowed, those very eyes shutting.

"Yes."

Caroline's mouth suddenly felt very dry as she felt Kate's breath tickle across the back of her neck. "I t-think you have lovely lips."

"Do I?" Kate's heart was hammering in her chest and she fancied it could be heard throughout the small room they found themselves in.

"I need to kiss you." Caroline's voice was so full of emotion, desperation almost palpable.

"Then kiss me." Kate whispered.

Caroline turned, her eyes already on Kate's slightly parted lips, her chest already rising and falling quickly, her pulse already quick. But this time, instead of just gazing at Kate's lips before they kissed, Caroline lifted her blue eyes to brown. "I think..I know… I'm in love with you."

A rush of air left Kate's lips. Never had she thought this confession would come from Caroline. But what if this came only because they hadn't kissed? What if-

"And I'm terrified that you're not interested in me anymore, because I don't know what I'd do without you. You haven't kissed me in over a week and I can barely focus on anything, so I don't know what I'd do if you left and I never saw you again. I'm terrified."

As Caroline's brow creased with worry at how her confession would be received, Kate closed the gap between them, her eyes on Caroline's lips.

And then suddenly, as though no time had passed since that night Kate had kissed Caroline goodnight on her doorstep, their lips were pressed together, Kate's hand tangling itself in blonde locks, Caroline's hands pressing to Kate's lower back to pull her impossibly closer.

Kate had no idea who kissed who, but suddenly it didn't matter. Suddenly she no longer cared if she was the one always initiating their kisses. Her friends didn't know Caroline, not like she did. Her friends didn't understand the glorious, nervous conundrum of a woman who loved her.

* * *

"Kate?"

"Mmm?"

"..You wont be taking note of who always initiates sex too, will you?"

Kate gave a surprised laugh, turning her head to look at the woman beside her. "I'm not taking notes on anything anymore."

"That's a pity, I think I might have won that one."

"Oh, you think so, do you?" Kate grinned, rolling onto her side and propping up her head with her hand.

"Definitely." Caroline smiled. The smiled soon turned into a laugh as Kate launched herself forward to kiss her. "We should put a scoreboard up." Caroline managed between her giggles.

"Are you making fun of me!?"

"Never!"

"That's the last time I'm explaining myself to you, Elliot!"

"It got us here, didn't it?" Caroline's impish grin softened a little.

"…Yeah, I suppose it did. Dessert?"

"Always." Caroline pulled Kate back down to her, kissing her feverishly.


	57. Peace and Sex

Caroline had long ago stopped reading her book, though she still held it up and looked at its pages, a slight smile on her lips. Instead, she was listening to the noises of the household and feeling perfectly happy.

Flora rested on the floor by Caroline's feet, not quite asleep but content enough to be rocked by Caroline's foot every few seconds, her small mouth giving the occasional wide yawn.

At the table beside her sat Lawrence and William playing scrabble. She had been banned long ago for knowing too many science words beginning with Z and X. Kate had been newly banned from the game after winning ten games in a row. It was apparently an unspoken rule that even if you could win a game every time, at least 1 in 5 you had to let someone else win. They'd all discovered Kate was a bit of a sore loser.

Kate herself was sat in front of the new family acquisition, a piano, working through a few pieces for her choir practice next week, occasional words of song drifting to Caroline's ears as Kate struggled with working difficult pieces around so sixth formers could manage them.

Roxy was here, too. William's girlfriend. She was currently sat on the couch working on some knitting. Apparently her grandmother had been an avid knitter, but now her arthritis stopped her being able to make anything, Roxy would make her the yearly scarves she loved to hand out to family members.

The peace was finally broken by a knock on the back door, Celia's face glowing white in the otherwise black outside the windows. A gentle sigh left Caroline's lips before she stood to go and open the door, pausing briefly to drop a kiss to Kate's head as she passed, a move that did not go un-noticed by her mother. "Mother. I thought you were in Halifax."

"We came back for the weekend. There's been some sort of argument between Gillian and Alan again." Celia offered with a smile, kissing her daughter's cheek before she looked expectantly towards the boys.

"Hi, gran." Lawrence mumbled.

"Hi, granny. This is Roxy, I'm sure you remember her." William offered, putting a hand on his girlfriend's shoulder.

"I hope you're not letting them sleep in the same room." Celia muttered to Caroline under her breath before she offered Roxy a brilliant smile, joining her on the couch to see what she was making.

"Hello, kate. How are you? And how's Flora? My, hasn't she grown." Kate muttered to herself, shuffling her papers together before shutting the piano cover. "Hello, Celia." She offered a little more loudly.

"Oh, hello, Kate. Didn't see you there." Celia replied without even looking up.

"Sorry." Caroline mouthed to Kate, giving an apologetic smile. Kate gave a smile in return, squeezing Caroline's hand as she passed her. "I'll just go and put this music away and then I'm sure I heard you just offer to make me a hot chocolate."

"Oh, I did, did I?" Caroline smiled after her wife and then turned towards the kitchen, glancing briefly at Flora to find she was finally fast asleep.

* * *

"You're not letting them sleep in the same room, Caroline?" Celia hovered by her daughter's elbow a couple of minutes later, absolutely scandalised.

"I can't say I was too happy about it either, but as Kate pointed out, if they want to be in the same room, they'll end up there no matter what we say, and they're old enough to decide for themselves."

"Oh, Kate said that, did she? Can't say I'm surprised."

Caroline raised her eyebrows, taking her eyes off the milk for a moment to look at her mother. "What is that supposed to mean?"

Celia held up her hands and instead asked, "What are you making?"

Caroline sighed, looking back down at the saucepan. "Hot chocolate. Kate likes them before bed sometimes."

"...Well. After I had you, I was watching my weight like a hawk, I couldn't have had hot chocolate's willy nilly."

The peace that had fallen over Caroline earlier was beginning to ebb away and she found another sigh falling from her lips. "Really? How fascinating."

"All I can say is Kate must be very comfortable with you not to care about the extra weight."

Caroline turned fully to glare at her mother. "Oh! Maybe she is, mother, but for your information, I think Kate has had and still has a phenomenal figure, and you know what? Tonight, I probably wouldn't even notice Willian sneaking into Roxy's room, because I will be too caught up making love to my beautiful, perfect wife."

Kate, who had been entering the room, raised her eyebrows at this, then wisely slid back out of the room before she was noticed.

"And don't you dare tell me you don't want to hear things like that, because I remember a conversation in this very kitchen about you and Alan." Caroline stared at her mother, daring her to argue.

"…I think I might go back to the unit. It's been a long day. I'll see you in the morning, no doubt."

Caroline gave a curt nod, then swore softly under her breath, pouring the curdled milk into the sink.

* * *

"Stop it." Kate spoke into the darkness that night. "I can hear you thinking."

"I can't help it." Caroline replied with a self-pitying moan, taking her top pillow to put it over her head.

Kate let her wallow in her misery for only a moment before she pulled the pillow away. "Roxy pulled me aside earlier to talk to me about the bedroom situation."

"…She didn't ask you for a condom, did she?" Caroline was mortified.

"Yeah, Caroline, I don't think either of us are quite the people to ask for condoms."

"She asked for a _vibrator?!"_ Caroline hissed, grinning into the darkness as she tried to cover Kate's mouth to muffle her laughter. "What did she say, then?"

"She said they've decided to wait. She said they both had divorced parents, and they wanted to make sure they were properly, fully committed to one another before they had sex." Kate whispered back.

"That's..that's…"

"Sweet?" Kate attempted.

"Misguided. Do they really think waiting to have sex is going to make them less likely to divorce if they marry? Does William think I had sex too early?!"

"I thought you'd be pleased?" Kate squinted at Caroline as she flicked the light switch on and then sat up in bed.

"Pleased that William think's if I'd waited his father wouldn't have cheated on me?!" Caroline's voice rose, shushed by Kate as she too pushed herself up.

"I think it was more about the fact her parents had her at 16, Caroline."

"…Oh." Caroline quickly deflated, slumping a little.

"…Whatever they choose to do, or not to do, I think William is a very smart, thoughtful boy, and he will think everything through properly, so you don't need to worry."

"…oh god!" Caroline turned to look at her in horror.

"What?"

"What will we do when Lawrence brings home a girl?!"

"oh, go to sleep!" Kate reached over her wife and turned the light off, snuggling into her side.

"I was having such a lovely day today, too. I was so relaxed." Caroline grumbled as she settled down.

"…I could help relax you again?" Kate offered.

"Well, I did promise my mother I'd ravish you ton- what?" Caroline looked up at Kate as she turned her light on and pushed herself up.

"Do you think Celia is thinking about you thinking about William thinking about having sex?"

Pushing herself up, Caroline switched her own light on, and they both sat there in silence for a long time until Kate looked at Caroline. "Movie?"

"Movie."


	58. Gillian's Wedding

**a/n: fic spam! I dedicated my one day off this week to finishing a few partially written stories on my computer. I hope you enjoy them!**

* * *

"Come on." Gillian grabbed Caroline's arm, leading her to the bathroom. Her heart was racing, and she had no idea what to do for the best. She loved Robbie, she did. She always had. But maybe she wasn't made for marriage?

Caroline let out a sigh when she looked at herself in the mirror. Her jacket was ruined. Her dress would never be the same again. And as for her shoes, completely irreparable. If she had gone through all this for Gillian to back out…

The bathroom was filled to bursting with a strained silence as the woman cleaned themselves up as best they could, both purposefully not looking the others way in the mirror. The moment was thankfully broken by a gentle knock on the door, and a moment later Kate walked in brandishing baby wipes and a pair of shoes, both taken thankfully by Caroline.

"…What happened?" Kate asked when neither women spoke.

"Don't tell her." Gillian shot at Caroline, panicked.

"She's my wife, I tell her everything!"

"Is that a dig at me? Because I'm going to marry Robbie and I haven't told him about-" Gillian glared at Caroline, readying herself for an argument.

"No! Look, Gillian, this is all up to you. I don't…I don't care what you do."

"Oh, so you don't care about me at all, then? Thanks a bunch."

Caroline looked to Kate, feeling completely out of her depth, but all Kate could offer was a sympathetic smile and an arm squeeze before she slid from the room, worried her presence was making the situation worse.

"Look, let's just take a seat, take a deep breath, and weigh things up." Caroline attempted.

* * *

Kate had no idea where to sit. Caroline would be sitting in the front row with Raf, Ellie, Celia and Alan, but should she sit there, too? Or should she sit further back? There was an empty seat beside where Caroline would sit, but perhaps that was for Gary? Kate looked to where William and Lawrence were sitting, but they were with John and she had no desire to sit beside John. Perhaps she should-

"She's coming!" Celia suddenly offered as she rushed back into the room, one hand grabbing an aimless Kate to guide her into the seat beside hers as everyone sat. "She won't cry, will she?" Celia asked in hushed tones, nodding her head at Flora who lay in her mother's arms.

"She's just had a feed, so I don't think so." Kate responded just as quietly, though suddenly feeling panicked about Flora wailing in the middle of a family wedding.

Celia was about to speak again when Caroline and Gillian finally entered the room. She was soon distracted by wrinkling her nose distastefully at the stain down the front of her daughter's dress.

When Caroline sat, she rested her forehead on Kate's shoulder briefly, taking a deep, calming breath, before she reached out to take Flora into her arms, the baby's blanket neatly covering the stains on her dress and making her look a little more presentable.

Kate reached out a hand to rest it on her wife's leg, hesitated just above a spot of mud she'd missed, and then settled on resting her hand on Flora's blanket with Caroline's thigh beneath it, instead.

* * *

"Bloody hell." Caroline sunk onto the bench next to Kate, squinting a little against the sun. "And I thought our wedding day was dramatic."

"I don't think it was dramatic, was it?"

"Well, no, but the day after was."

"At least there were no shoes or jackets ruined in the process." Kate responded, shifting Flora in her arms a little before pressing the bottle to her pouting lips again.

"Oh, don't remind me." Caroline smiled despite her words, resting her chin on Kate's shoulder to watch Flora. "She almost cancelled the wedding at least twice before today, you know. Gillian. And then today, she told me she slept with John _again."_

"With John? When?"

"Oh, the other day. Apparently, he thought he and I would get back together eventually. You know what convinced him otherwise? What really upset him more than anything else? That day he came over and found you and I having an argument about who had used the last of the milk. That was the clincher for him, it seems." Caroline laughed softly, reaching down to stroke Flora's pink cheek.

"Well, nothing says definitely married more than an argument over milk, I suppose. I thought Gillian said you weren't to tell me any of this?"

"Bugger Gillian. She's ruined my favourite pair of shoes."

"i'll buy you a new pair." Kate promised, turning her head to kiss her wife.

* * *

Later, Caroline wore a gentle smile on her face as she watched William and Roxy dancing. Roxy had had some sort of dance training, it seemed, and was teaching William what she knew. He was surprisingly light on his feet.

Further on from the dancefloor, she could see Lawrence and one of Gary's daughters sneaking drinks from the bar, but she was too content to do anything about it just yet. Perhaps Gary would intervene, though she doubted it for last she'd seen of him, he was getting royally drunk.

Alan was dancing with Felicity, Gary's wife, both of them very stiff and uncomfortable looking.

Celia was dancing with Flora, singing the words to the song quietly to her as Flora wriggled her legs happily, enjoying all the attention she was getting.

"D'you want to dance?"

Caroline was drawn from her people watching by a familiar voice asking a familiar question, and when she looked up, she found Kate smiling down at her, body already swaying a little. Kate had decided tonight she would have her first drink since Flora's birth, and Caroline had been put in charge of both mother and baby. Smiling back, Caroline stood, slipping her hand into her wife's. "Is this like..forever?"

"Well, forever is a mighty long time." Kate pulled her onto the dance floor, wrapping her arms quickly around the curves she loved so much. "You know. In theory."

"I'm already looking forward to every moment of it." Caroline smiled into Kate's kiss. She hoped Gillian found her second marriage as rewarding as they did.


	59. Pick-up lines

"Hi."

"Hi."

"Come here often?"

Caroline smiled into her wine glass, looking at the woman before her with raised eyebrows. "My first time."

The woman signalled the waiter, asking for a second glass of whatever Caroline was having before she settled herself in the bar stool beside her. "I'm glad I've got my library card handy."

Caroline's eyebrows raised even higher at this non sequitur. "Why?"

"Because I am checking you out."

Caroline stared for a moment and then laughed so hard she had to put her wine glass back on bar to wipe tears from under her eyes. "Where did you hear that?! Please tell me it hasn't worked on you!"

"And what if it has?!" Defensive.

"Oh, Kate." Was all Caroline could manage before she laughed again.

"If you're not interested in me chatting you up, Elliot, I'm sure there are plenty of others here who would be very willing!" Kate stood up, though she had no intention of leaving.

Reaching out, Caroline tried to straighten her face as she pulled Kate back into her seat. "I'm sorry. Try another."

Kate narrowed her eyes for a moment before clearing her throat. "Excuse me, have you lost an electron? Because you are positively _attractive_!"

Caroline couldn't help the laugh that erupted from her as she fell forward against Kate to hold onto the brunette so she wouldn't stand again, though she could see Kate grinning at her.

* * *

Later that evening they were sat at the back in the very corner of the restaurant where it was a little darker than everywhere else. Caroline had agonised over booking this specific table, worried Kate might think she was trying to hide them away, but Kate seemed to be appreciating the dark as much as she was, for her hand was currently sliding up the inside of Caroline's legs and then back down to her knee, making the blonde shift in her seat and uncross her legs.

"You still haven't told me why you left me waiting earlier." Caroline attempted, trying to keep some sort of composure until they'd ordered dessert, at least.

"I got stuck talking to your mother."

"My mother?!"

"She came to get Lawrence after rugby and wanted to talk to me about the choir. She thinks it's taking up too much of your time because, apparently, you've had to stay late twice this week for choir practice." Kate smiled.

"…Well, it was a sort of choir practice, wasn't it?"

"I don't see what it matters, Caroline. We are engaged."

"Oh, ok then, I'll just tell my mother I was home late because I was having sex with my almost wife on top of a piano in the chapel, shall I?" Caroline hissed, though she smiled when Kate giggled. "Yep, that will definitely help her like you more."

"It would hardly make her like me any less, would it?"

Caroline's smile faded at this, and she reached across to take Kate's hand. "It's not you. It's me."

"My pick up lines may be terrible, but they're a lot less clichéd than that."

Caroline smiled again. She couldn't help it. Often after being with Kate her face would ache. Well, that might be down to a few other things besides smiling. "Let's forget about my mother, order dessert to take away, and go back to your house?"

Kate nodded, already beginning to pick up her things as Caroline signalled the waiter. "Hey, Caroline?"

"Mmm?"

"Do you have a bandaid?"

"I…I might do, why?" Caroline picked up her bag to look through.

"Because I hurt my knees when I fell for you."

Caroline stared into Kate's straight face for a second time that evening before she burst out laughing once more, startling the waiter and making him drop the bottle of wine he'd been bringing them.

* * *

Later that evening when they lay in bed together, a half eaten dessert resting on the beside table Caroline found herself smiling again. Kate was nestled into her side, an arm resting heavily of Caroline's middle, and little puffs of warm air were tickling her neck. "Kate?"

"Mm?" Kate asked sleepily before rousing herself a little to ask, "You don't have to leave?"

"No." Caroline lifted a hand to guide Kate's head back down. "I said I'd be out all night. I wanted to ask you something."

"Yes is my answer."

"I haven't asked you yet." Caroline pointed out, her words muffled as she kissed Kate's hair.

The brunette stretched cat like then, every inch of her body pressing briefly to Caroline's before she relaxed again. "Ask me."

"…you know how you've started accepting viewings of this place?"

"Yeah."

"…I thought maybe I could get some viewings for my house, too."

Kate lifted her head so she could look down at Caroline with a gentle frown. "You love that house."

"I loved it because of what it represented, Kate. But I don't think it's fair to ask you to live in such close quarters with my mother, and I'm worried you're still putting off moving in because you see it as my home and not yours."

Kate couldn't deny this, so just rested her head gentle back onto Caroline's shoulder. "Wouldn't you regret selling it?"

"I don't think so. Mum and Alan are already looking at other places to live, and Lawrence will be going to university or jail in the next couple of years."

Kate laughed softly at this, dropping a kiss to a freckled shoulder as Caroline continued.

"I'd like us to live somewhere we both choose, somewhere Lawrence can choose, too, if he wants to. Somewhere to start afresh." Caroline ran her hand up and down Kate's bare arm thoughtfully. She'd been thinking about this a lot recently. "And it's not just a snap decision, Kate. I've been thinking about it a lot. I was just lying here thinking how much I love this room because it is so cozy and nothing bad has ever happened here between us or anyone else. So why not move to a house where every room is like that? No ghosts of the past anywhere."

"Okay." Kate offered after a few moments of silence. "Okay." She repeated more firmly. "I would love to buy a house with you."

Smiling, Caroline dropped a kiss to Kate's head and finally allowed her eyes to shut and her mind to stop whirring.

"Caroline?"

"Mmm?"

"If I could reach out and hold a star for everytime you've made me smile, I'd hold the sky in the palm of my hand." When Caroline didn't respond, Kate lifted her head to find Caroline watching her with a familiar look on her face. "Did that…did that pick up line just work?"

"Yeah, I think it did." Caroline smiled before capturing Kate's lips.


	60. Oops

"What's all this racket about?" Celia questioned as she pulled open her door.

"Sorry." Caroline apologised instantly, moving the hip that Flora sat on further away from her mother as if it would make the girl's screaming quieter. "I don't suppose you've seen Teddy, have you? I can't find him anywhere."

"..I don't think so. You can come in and have a look." Celia stepped to the side, smiling at Flora which only seemed to make her wail louder. "Teddy's that scraggy looking thing, isn't it?"

"He's not scraggy, he was Kate's childhood toy which means if I've lost him, I'll have two people who hate me." Caroline surveyed her mother's living space with dismay.

"Well, when did you last see it?"

"This morning, I think. Flora, sweetheart, I'm looking for Teddy." Caroline tried to shush her daughter, who just sobbed in reply.

"Where have you been since then?"

"I'm not completely stupid, mother! I have checked everywhere we went!" Caroline snapped, sighing when Celia held up her hands in defeat. "Sorry."

"Have you tried her with another toy?" Celia was trying to be helpful, Caroline knew, but she was still irritating her. After giving a terse nod, Caroline walked back towards the door.

"I'll text you if I find him."

"Okay, love."

* * *

"Where else did we go, hey?" Caroline looked down at her daughter in her pram, finally asleep though the odd hiccupped sob still escaped her lips. "Library, park…Did we go to the shop? No, I think that was yesterday."

"Pardon?"

Caroline jumped when a voice spoke from behind her. Turning, she gave an apologetic smile to the older woman who had stopped, startled. "I've lost my daughter's favourite toy."

"…Have you tried retracing your steps?"

Caroline drew in a deep breath and let it out slowly before she forced a smile to her lips. "No. That's a very good idea, thank you."

* * *

"No!" Flora pushed away her lunch, poking out her bottom lip and folding her arms. "Teddy."

Caroline rubbed her forehead. "Teddy's..gone on holiday, but he asked me to tell you that you need to eat your lunch."

Flora frowned at Caroline for a long time before she reached for the bowl of food again.

Giving a relieved sigh, Caroline resumed her search of the kitchen, hoping she had put the toy in a cupboard when she'd been distracted. She had done it before. Once, when Flora was a tiny baby, she had found her watch in the fridge.

* * *

"How was the game?" Caroline smiled at her son as he climbed into the car, valiantly ignoring the muddy boots now dirtying the floor.

"Fine." Lawrence glanced around at Flora and then slumped in his seat.

"Did you win?"

"Yep."

"…Good." Caroline started the car with a sigh.

"..I don't want her in my room in the morning anymore."

"She has a name, Lawrence. And I thought you liked playing with Flora in the morning, showing her your games?"

"Yeah, well, I did until she put this in my bag and it fell out in the changing room. Everyone thought he was mine." He grumbled, pulling Teddy from his bag.

"TEDDY!" Flora cried, delighted.

"Why didn't you tell me you gave him to your brother?!" Caroline asked, exasperated, as Flora hugged the toy close. Her daughter just grinned down at her toy, beginning to tell him all about her day in her mixture of random words and baby talk.

Grumbling to herself, Caroline drove home.

* * *

"How was your day?" Kate asked when they were finally able to go to bed that evening. "I'm sorry I had to leave Flora with you on such short notice."

"She is my daughter, too, you know. It's not like I'm just babysitting. You had something on, so I looked after her for the day. Nothing you need to apologise for."

Kate held up her hands in apology at her wife's tone, then watched in silence as the blonde climbed into bed, her face clean of make-up and still a little pink from removing it.

"How is your aunt?"

"Oh, fine. Big crisis over nothing. It's the Nigerian way. You know I told you it turned out to be a sprain? She tried to convince the doctor she still needed a cast put on." Kate rolled her eyes as she pulled aside the bed covers and climbed in beside her wife, repeating, "How was your day?"

"…Fine. Good. We went to the library, the park, visited a few of our favourite places. Flora enjoyed dripping a babychino all over my favourite coat."

"No dramas?"

Caroline paused for a moment before shaking her head. "Nope."

"You're lucky. Last week I left Teddy at Gillian's and had to drive all the way back to get it." Kate yawned, snuggling into Caroline.

Into the dark that now surrounded her, Caroline shut her eyes tightly before managing a light, "No, we had a lovely, peaceful day."

"I'm glad." Kate kissed her wife and then shut her eyes, smiling when she felt Caroline kiss the top of her head. "Caroline?"

"Mm?"

"You might want to tell your mother that, since she called me twice to tell me you were in a panic and flora was screaming because you couldn't find Teddy."

"…Oops."


	61. Love

Caroline used to envy those who said they'd fallen in love at first sight. She'd thought for a long time this was just a saying and it didn't really happen that way, but still she'd envied them. It sounded so easy, so carefree, but love for her was complicated and so painful. She didn't envy them any longer, though. If she had been given the opportunity to fall in love at first sight, she would have turned it down. For the sort of love she had now was even better.

She had thought Kate beautiful when they first met, and perhaps it had been lust at first sight if she'd allowed herself such thoughts back then, which she hadn't, but the love had blossomed slowly. It seemed as though every day she fell in love with something new about Kate, and the slowness allowed her to caress this new-found love, to cherish it and memorise it.

Today, it had been the way Kate played the piano. She was used to people pressing the keys, playing methodically, but Kate almost caressed the keys, gazing at the words rather than staring at them, her eyelids lowered just a little, her posture straight but relaxed. Caroline had intended to be in the chapel only briefly to ask Kate if she minded her inviting Gillian for dinner, but she'd stayed much longer, completely mesmerised.

If Kate noticed her at first, she gave no sign, but her playing did skip a beat when Caroline's hands suddenly reached out on either side of her to run down her arms and then grip her hands tightly, a warm body now pressed to her back. Caroline's face nuzzled Kate's neck for a long time before she spoke. "This is my piece."

"Hmm?" Kate hummed the word, tilting her head just a little more so Caroline's lips could press themselves to her pulse point.

"This is the song you play on me. In me. This is my song."

Kate gave a slow smile, eyelids closing fully and then opening. "It is."

"What is it about?" Caroline's hands gripped Kate's tighter for a moment before she released them so they could play, her hands moving instead to Kate's middle, holding her a little tighter.

As Kate began to play, Caroline listened intently to the words her wife spoke. An uplifting song about happiness in its purest form, of love and trust and worry that was always resolved. "That's how you make me feel." Kate offered simply when she finished, fingers lying flat on the keyboard.

"I have a song for you, too." Caroline whispered into Kate's ear, her warm breath making Kate shiver.

"Show me."

Kate was surprised to see Caroline reach over her again, her hands spreading on the piano keys. Then suddenly she was playing chopsticks very clumsily, Kate was laughing, Caroline was grinning, and light was shining through the stained-glass windows as though the world itself approved.

* * *

Waiting in line at the Christmas market, Caroline fell in love with something else. They were all wrapped up warm, only pink noses showing through the fur of a hood. Kate had been visiting with her father for most of the day and had wanted nothing more than to go to bed when she got home, but as soon as she was through the door, Lawrence had asked her to come with them to the Christmas market. Kate had smiled as though there was nothing more she would want to do in the world. So here she stood in the cold waiting in line for a warm drink, a warm anything to ward off the chill, people watching with Lawrence and making up absurd stories about the people around them.

This wasn't what Caroline fell in love with, though. She had loved the way Kate tried so hard with her boys for a long time. Today, she fell in love with the way Kate could be completely absorbed with someone else, and yet her hand would reach for Caroline's. She always seemed to know exactly where she was. Caroline had never experienced that before, never had someone take her hand as though it was the most normal, natural thing in the world.

Bouyed by love, Caroline soon found herself joining their conversation, happy to see Lawrence grinning at the sight of his mother actually being silly. So happy was he that, despite his misgivings about her relationship with someone other than her father, he chose not to say anything, or even make a face, when his mother wrapped her arms around Kate later that evening, dropping small kisses all over her face as Kate squirmed, refusing to give the blonde the rest of her hot chocolate.

* * *

Caroline fell in love with something new every day, it seemed, and before she knew it she loved Kate wholly, completely, just as Kate loved her. She wasn't good at saying these things, but she could write them down.

Next Christmas, after everyone else had gone to bed, Caroline shyly produced another present for Kate. Inside, a beautifully bound book, each page noting something she loved about Kate, and exactly when she realised she loved it.

She tried to leave the room when Kate read it, but the brunette held onto her firmly, leading her to the couch. They only got 5 pages in before Kate could stop herself no longer, turning her head to capture her wife's lips.

Caroline decided that night that she might have to make another book next year, too, and every year after that, for she didn't think she'd ever stop falling in love with Kate.


	62. Friends

Caroline looked around the group with a gentle smile on her lips. When she had still been young enough to imagine such things, she'd thought these were the sort of friends she would have- the sort who went out to dinner, who spoke to one another in a crisis. In reality, she had never really experienced that, and probably hadn't spent the time fostering her friendships as she should have done. This meant that her friends were people she might email or catch up with on occasion, people she would be polite to, but not people she could open up to. Acquaintances, probably, now she thought about it.

But now she had these friends. Proper friends. Sure, they'd started off as just Kate's friends, people she was wary of, but now if Kate was busy or uninterested in an outing, they'd still ask Caroline. She'd receive text messages from them and calls from them, and on one occasion had even had to sort out a marriage crisis on one friend's behalf.

There was Lisa, sat next to her husband who Kate said was 'a complete plonker', but who Caroline actually quite liked. While Lisa was the centre of attention, he was happy to be by her side, content to be known as 'Lisa's husband' and not by his own name, which Caroline couldn't remember. She probably liked him because he was the antithesis of John.

There was Jennifer, who Kate was convinced had a crush on Caroline, which the blonde had disputed until one night Jennifer had complimented her on how polite Lawrence was. That convinced her Kate was right, for no one could possibly think that. She tried to sit as far away from Jennifer as possible, these days, worried of giving the wrong impression. It always made Kate giggle.

Then there was Jane, a teacher from another school who would often accompany Caroline to anything science related when Kate would wrinkle her nose. It was Jane who had come to her office at Sulgrave one afternoon in tears because she thought her husband was cheating on her. He had been. Caroline had been completely out of her depth, but apparently Jane had appreciated her help for they were firm friends now.

Lastly was Poppy, a late addition to the group according to Kate, who was some high-flying executive and who had the dirtiest sense of humour Caroline had ever experienced. She was forever bringing new partners to the dinners they had. Caroline had almost choked on her wine that evening Poppy had brought a former sulgrave pupil with her, who had insisted on calling Caroline Dr Elliot all evening. Tonight, she had brought a woman of roughly the same age who had drunk too much wine and was laughing uproariously at everything Poppy said.

Yes, Caroline would count all these woman as friends. She felt a sudden surge of love for Kate, for introducing her to this new life she had, to this new experience of a large friendship group.

Sensing eyes on her, Kate glanced at Caroline, a smile brightening her face when Caroline mouthed, 'I love you'.

Having been forced onto opposite sides of the table so Lisa could bend Kate's ear about some old acquaintance, Kate was forced to just mouth the words back instead of whispering them in Caroline's ear as she so often did at random moments, making the blonde lose all ability to speak.

Caroline smiled back, tilting her head towards the courtyard. Kate gave a gentle nod and quietly began extracting herself from her current conversation.

…

"Hi."

"Hi." Kate replied, giving a gentle shiver at the look in her wife's eyes which looked her up and down ,desire electrifying the air, before she stepped forward to rest her hands on Kate's hips.

"Thank you."

Kate lifted her eyes from admiring the amount of cleavage the blonde's dress was currently showing. "For what?"

"For being you." Caroline offered, her lips dropping to begin kissing Kate's neck, her breath coming out in shudders and tickling her.

Kate tilted her head, eyes going a little out of focus. "You're very welcome."

"I want to go home." Caroline's pink lips whispered just below Kate's ear. "I want to make love to you until the only thing you remember is my name and the feel of my lips."

Kate gave a quiet moan at this, remembering just how well Caroline had fulfilled her promise last time she'd whispered something in her ear.

"Okay?" Caroline pulled back now, pupils dilated so much that barely a trace of blue could be seen, her hands that still rested on Kate's hips tightening their grip a little.

"Ok." Was all Kate could reply.

"Good." Caroline gave the briefest of smiles before she took Kate's hand, leading her back to the group to collect their things.

"Here are the lovebirds." Poppy grinned. "Going so soon?"

"We'e got to get home for..umm…" Kate attempted, though nothing formed in her mind.

"A good old fashioned fuck?" Poppy offered helpfully.

As Caroline could feel herself blush and she began to stutter a reply, Lisa waved the excuse away. "We've been taking bets on how long you'd be here. Caroline's had that look in her eye all evening."

"What look?!" Caroline questioned, sure she'd hidden it well.

"The look you give Kate before you two suddenly disappear from whatever we're doing and come back giggling a few minutes later." Jane offered.

"We…I don't think we…" Caroline attempted before a sigh fell from her lips. "Oh, bugger off."

To the chorus of laughing and a wolf whistle, the couple made their way from the restaurant, having only managed to eat their starter. 20 minutes was surely a record of some sort. No doubt their friends would let them know next time they met.


	63. Conception- Part 1

Caroline wondered if this was what heaven was like. The sun was shining, there was a lovely breeze, Lawrence and William were playing amicably, Lawrence trying to teach his brother rugby and William failing miserably but apparently having fun doing so. A few steps from the picnic rug, Flora was doing cartwheels, stopping every few moments to check Caroline was still watching before she would twirl on. Kate was visiting her father, but had promised she would be here soon. Yes, Caroline was quite sure this was exactly what heaven was like.

"Is she your daughter?"

Caroline glanced up, squinting against the sun to see a woman stood nearby. She studied her for a moment, a little indignant about her perfect moment being interrupted. "Yes."

"What's her name?"

Caroline frowned now, looking properly at the woman. "I don't think that's any of your business."

At that moment, of course, William decided he'd had enough and called his sister over to join them, hoping it would make his brother a little gentler. "FLORA!"

Rolling her eyes, Caroline gave her daughter a small nod when Flora turned to check with her before racing at William.

"Flora McKenzie-Dawson?" The woman asked.

"I'm sorry, but who are you?" Caroline finally pushed herself up, squaring her shoulders.

"Felicity."

"…Is that it? Like Madonna?" Caroline asked as she bent down to pick up Flora's doll and the picnic blanket.

"Felicity Jackson." The woman offered as though it was entirely obvious.

"I'm sorry, but I've no idea who you are. William! Lawrence! Come on, time to leave." Caroline called out. She needn't call out to Flora, for as soon as she thought Caroline might be leaving her sight she'd race to her side. Mornings in their house often involved Flora crying and gripping onto Caroline's leg, and Caroline relenting and staying a few more precious minutes with her daughter.

"Oh, for heaven's sake. I'm Gary's wife!"

"Gary who? Barlow? That red head from Coronation Street?"

"Alan's son Gary."

As Caroline was about to say she had no idea who Alan was either, it suddenly dawned on her. Before they'd left that morning in a hurry, Celia had said- oh god.

"I'm so, so sorry. We were in such a rush this morning and I'd forgotten entirely that my mother had told me you were coming by. How did you know we were here?" Caroline caught Flora a second before she barrelled into her legs and picked her up, dropping a kiss to her cheek.

"Your mother said you'd be here." Felicity gave a shrug.

"And whatever you wanted to talk to me about was important enough for you to come here?" Caroline frowned, unsure exactly what she might want.

"This is my mummy." Flora offered rather proudly before dropping a loud, smacking kiss to Caroline's cheek.

Felicity gave her an awkward smile. "I..the thing is, I-"

Caroline was horrified to realise she was about to cry. Placing Flora down, she quickly instructed her to go and tell her brothers they could keep playing for a little while. And that's where her help ended, for she was terrible with other people's emotions and found herself just staring at the woman before her awkwardly.

Felicity thankfully managed to calm herself and took a deep breath. "The thing is, I want a baby."

"...Right." Caroline nodded, no idea what was going on.

"Alan said you and Kate conceived together, and Gary and I can't seem to…so I thought you might be able to h-help? Tell me where you used?"

Ah. This is what Caroline got for not telling her mother the truth about Flora's conception. "Umm..I'd…I would, but-"

"I hope you saved me some sandwiches, I'm starving!" Suddenly there were arms around Caroline's waist and a solid kiss dropping to her cheek. She'd frankly never been so glad of Kate's presence.

"KATE! This is Gary's wife Felicity. Alan's Gary." Caroline pulled Kate around and pushed her towards the other blonde.

"Ah, Hi, Alan's Gary's Felicity." Kate held out a hand and a smile, quite used now to Caroline's occasional social ineptitude.

Felicity managed a wobbling smile and a weak handshake, looking more and more nervous. Having admitted why she was here, she couldn't bring herself to mention it again and looked towards Caroline almost pleadingly. The blonde looked blankly back at her for a moment, blue eyes wide, before she caught on.

"Felicity and Gary are trying for a baby, and apparently, my mother told them about conceiving Flora through IVF."

"Oh." Kate's eyes widened. "Shit."

"What's shit mean?" Flora asked, having rushed over to greet her mum.

* * *

Ten minutes later, the three adults sat on the picnic blanket in silence, Caroline and Kate sharing an occasional look of horror when they thought Felicity might be going to cry.

It was Flora who saved them in the end. She'd rushed over to tell Caroline off for not watching her but had seen Felicity looking distraught and instead made a beeline for her, stopping to hold out her hand. "Do you want to do cartwheels, too? They will make you happy. Mama says so. When I'm sad we go and do cartwheels in the garden."

At Kate's raised eyebrow, Caroline looked slightly mortified. "She does them. I don't."

"You did." Flora pointed out.

As Caroline huffed and began to blush, Felicity smiled faintly up at the young girl. "I'm not very good at cartwheels, I'm afraid."

"Neither's mama."

Kate laughed silently, banging her shoulder against Caroline's with a grin.

"..I could give you a hug instead?" Flora offered, glancing at Kate to make sure it was okay. When Kate gave a nod, Flora leant down to give Felicity a hug. "Better?"

"Oh, much."

Grinning, Flora skipped back to play with her brothers.

"...I'm sorry. We haven't told Celia the truth because...well, I'm sure you know what she can be like." Kate offered the woman an apologetic smile.

Felicity watched Flora for a moment before looking back at the brunette. "It's okay. I was just..I don't know. As soon as Celia told me I wanted to run here and ask you straight away. I'm just.."

"I know." Kate offered gently. "I...before Flora, I had 4 miscarriages. I never thought I'd get the baby I had always wanted."

Felicity looked between the two woman as Caroline reached out to squeeze Kate's arm. "I didn't…Celia didn't mention-"

"I wasn't with Caroline then. I will have the details of the fertility doctor I saw at home if you'd like that? She was very lovely and was full of advice."

Felicity smiled weakly and nodded her head. "I've already had all the tests. They can't seem to find anything wrong."

"It was the same for me. Caroline says sometimes people aren't compatible. She read a lot of research…" Kate offered, but could see that it hadn't bolstered Felicity in the same way it hadn't offered her much comfort. They were just words. "I could come with you to a few clinics, if you like? To see where you'd feel comfortable."

"Kate-" Caroline tried to cut in, but Felicity was already beginning to nod her head.

"Would you? Only Gary doesn't have the time, and I don't want my friends to know, and I'm not sure what to look for."

"Sure! Of course. Just let me know when." Kate smiled, wanting to offer another woman the comfort of an understanding friend, which she hadn't had yet had so desperately needed.

Felicity finally smiled, feeling suddenly hopeful again, allowing herself a brief time to think of the child her and Gary might have. "…I suppose if that doesn't work, I could always get the number of Flora's father from you."

As Kate cringed, Caroline wiped her hands in her thighs and stood up, saying tightly. "He's not her father. I'm going to get the boys, I think it's going to rain soon."

"..Sorry." Felicity whispered to Kate as Caroline walked away.

"It's fine." Kate gave the woman a smile before glancing up at the blue, cloudless sky.


	64. Conception- Part 2

When Kate began to dream, it was a familiar one, but one she hadn't visited in a long time. It was of her and Richard at an ultrasound. Her belly was so big she must have been almost full term. Her eyes sparkled at Richard, and his sparkled back.

"It's a boy." The technician would say. Richard would grin. He would pull out his phone, he would tell everyone.

But as his head was bowed, the technician would suddenly frown. Richard would lift his head and see something in the scan, too. He would drop her hand, look at her with disgust. "I'VE TOLD EVERYONE!" He would yell. "I've told everyone, and now you've made me look like a fool!"

"Why?!" Kate would cry, straining to see the monitor.

"There's no baby in there." The woman would say.

"Yes there is! I can feel him!" Kate would cry, hand touching her belly. Except it wouldn't be there anymore. There was just a flat, infertile nothingness.

Kate woke with a start, barely able to catch her breath as a strangled sob made it's way from her lips. When she'd turned to look at Richard, he was no longer there. Now it was Caroline. Caroline looking at her with disgust. Her words were still echoing through Kate's mind. _There is no baby!_

And Caroline wasn't beside her in bed. Caroline had gone.

As Kate released another strangled cry, knees drawing up to her middle and arms wrapping around them, a light suddenly lit the bottom of the bedroom door, and a moment later the door was pushed open, a dishevelled and terrified looking William in front of her. "Kate?!"

Kate couldn't make a noise, couldn't reply, couldn't comfort him. But then suddenly Caroline appeared beside him, a half asleep Flora in her arms. Caroline passed the girl to her brother and gave him some sort of instruction before rushing into the room, shutting the door.

"Kate?" Caroline looked a little terrified, too. "Are you in pain?"

Kate let out another sob, her chest aching painfully. "There is no baby."

Caroline's face clouded with confusion for a moment, but then she seemed to realise something and quickly moved to sit beside Kate and pull her into her arms. "It was just a dream."

"I could feel him!"

Caroline began rocking her gently. "It was just a dream, Kate. You've had it before, remember? You've told me about it. But it's not real. I promise, it's not real." Though she tried to sound reassuring, Caroline could hear the emotion in her own voice.

Reality beginning to seep back into her mind, Kate rested her head against Caroline's chest to listen to her heartbeat, crying to calm her breathing. "We have a baby."

"We have Flora. And she is perfect. She is perfectly healthy and safe. Do you want me to get her?"

Kate considered this, but then shook her head, not wanting her to be upset. "We have a baby. Flora. She's safe and healthy." Kate whispered.

It didn't take long for Kate to fall into a dreamless sleep whispering those words, but the rest of the house barely slept for the rest of the night.

* * *

"I'll go."

"Caroline! I will be fine. We're only going to look at the place and see if Felicity feels comfortable with the doctor." Kate protested.

"..I'll come with you, then." They'd had this discussion so many times since Kate had started having nightmares a week ago.

"You need to look after Flora."

"William can look after her."

"Caroline!" Kate cried, frustrated. "I will be fine!"

"Just humour me, then. Let me come with you." Caroline was not below begging right now, but thankfully after a huff, Kate finally agreed.

* * *

Kate was quiet at the hospital. It was all state of the art equipment and overwhelming for anyone to view, but as they were led around and as things were explained, Kate grew paler and paler. Caroline stopped herself saying anything, trying to be supportive of what Kate wanted. But as they were about to be led into the examination room, the brunette stopped abruptly. When she lifted her eyes to Caroline's, they were full of panic. This was room. This was the room from her dream.

"Kate, what do you think?" Felicity asked. She liked it. It felt professional.

Caroline held eye contact with her. She wasn't sure what her eyes showed, but then suddenly Kate was breathing again.

"I think it seems perfect." Only Caroline noticed the voice wobble.

* * *

As Felicity talked throughout their lunch, bolstered suddenly by hope, Caroline asked Kate softly, "What happened?"

"It was the room from my dream."

Caroline reached out a hand to grip Kate's tightly, face full of concern, but it was only met with a smile.

"I just pictured you and Flora doing cartwheels through the room, and somehow it didn't seem to scary anymore."

Caroline found a smile beginning on her face, too. "I don't do cartwheels."

"Your youngest son does." Kate replied, moving Caroline's hand down to her baby bump.

When Caroline felt the faint movements of their son, she leant forward to kiss Kate tenderly. "No more visits with Felicity?"

"No." Kate shook her head, drawing Caroline's hand to her mouth to kiss the palm. "No more."


	65. Second Chance

**A/N: Sorry if anyone else found the previous 2 chapters confusing! To explain- Kate used to have that dream when she was with Richard, but she hadn't had it in a long time. Now involved in fertility stuff again with Felicity, all her old emotions have resurfaced and she is having the dream again, only this time it's Caroline and not Richard by her side. She is currently pregnant with a boy, by Greg again but in an entirely different way to Flora's conception.**

 **Thank you as always for your reviews, and I hope you enjoy this chapter! It might end up being a 2 parter or possibly even a new fic entirely, but that all depends on if you like it!**

* * *

It was late when Kate left. Too late to go to Caroline's because she'd wake everyone up, Kate reasoned with herself. But somehow she still managed to drive there instead of her own home. There were no lights on, they were all probably in bed long since, considering it was a Sunday night. But Kate still sat in the car looking up at the building. She was just considering using the key Caroline had given her once when the front door opened, a slightly dishevelled Caroline peeking out. When she saw Kate's car, she opened the door a little wider and pulled her dressing gown a little closer before walking out into the cold night.

"Kate?" She frowned as she approached.

Kate continued to stare out the front windscreen at the house, hands gripping the steering wheel.

Concerned now, Caroline reached out and pulled open the door, making Kate jump. "Kate? Are you okay?"

Kate's eyes rose to stop tears falling from them as she shook her head.

Releasing her grip on her dressing gown, Caroline reached into the car to unclip Kate's seatbelt. "Come inside."

"I can't." Kate shook her head again, voice thick with emotion.

"Yes, you can. Come on." Gently, Caroline unclasped Kate's hands from the wheel and then helped her from the car, carrying almost all her weight as she led her back into the house.

Inside was warm and Kate suddenly felt overheated, pulling away from Caroline to pull off her jacket and scarf. "I'm hot. It's too hot in here."

"Come through and I'll get you a glass of water?" Caroline offered, relieved when Kate followed her.

She took big gulps of the ice-cold water, but it did nothing to cool her down and she was soon taking off her jumper as well, then sat on the couch to take off her boots. "I'm too hot." She repeated.

Still looking concerned, Caroline walked to open the back door, allowing a frosty breeze in. "Better?"

Kate nodded, though Caroline noticed she shivered.

"Do you want to talk about it?" Caroline asked a few minutes later, sleep still making her voice a little hoarse.

"I don't know?" Kate looked to Caroline as though she might have the answer.

"…It might make you feel better?"

"…I went on a date." Kate's eyes lifted to Caroline's face nervously.

Caroline's mind took a few seconds to register this information, but somehow she managed to keep her voice neutral as she asked, "Did the person hurt you?"

"No." Kate shook her head. She felt suddenly cold now and hugged herself. Caroline stood to shut the door and allowed herself to draw in a few deep breaths of air before she sat down again. Only last week had she gone to Kate's house and asked if they could try again. Kate had said there was no one else.

"I thought…I wanted to…to see if…" Kate attempted, a tear finally falling silently down her cheek.

"To see-" Caroline prompted.

"She said she didn't care that I was pregnant. She was a paediatric nurse. Well, she still is. We met at the clinic I go to for check-ups, and she held my hand when I had my first scan because I was scared of-" Kate stopped there. She was wringing her hands and Caroline ached to reach out and touch her. She didn't, though. It wasn't her place to anymore. "But then she started talking about baby names, and I got upset because that's not her place. That's what me and you-"

Caroline looked down at her hands as Kate paused to draw in a shaking breath before taking another gulp of water.

"I tried to call my mum, but she wasn't answering, so…I went to see my dad. I don't know what to do anymore, I don't know what the best thing to do for everyone is. He usually knows of 'Kate' and will ask about her, but when I got there, he didn't know her anymore. He didn't know me anymore."

Caroline finally reached out a hand, and Kate grasped it tightly between her own, trying to take every ounce of comfort from it she could.

When it seemed like Kate's story was at an end, though Caroline still wasn't quite sure why she had come, she asked gently, "Would you like me to run you a bath?"

Kate's eyes filled with tears again, but this time she nodded.

Nodding back, Caroline squeezed Kate's hand and then rose to her feet. Kate followed her a step behind to the master bedroom, sitting silently on the bed as Caroline ran the bath. She didn't even acknowledge William's presence when he walked in, awoken by the noise.

"…Kate?"

Hearing a voice, Caroline retreated to the bedroom, giving her son an apologetic smile before leading him from the room.

"Is Kate okay?"

"She's fine. She's just had a bit of an upset, so I'm running her a bath."

"..It's not the baby, is it?" He whispered back.

"No. No. Well, I don't think so. Sorry for waking you."

"Does this mean you're getting back together?" He asked as they reached his bedroom doorway.

"I..no. I don't know. Get some sleep, you've got an exam in the morning." Caroline ushered him back into his room, shutting the door before returning to her own.

The water had stopped now, and a naked Kate stood in the doorway of the en-suite, her back to Caroline. When she remained motionless, Caroline asked softly, "Kate?" When Kate turned back to her, Caroline saw her small baby bump for the first time and couldn't seem to take her eyes off it.

"I'm sorry. I don't…I'm sorry." Kate finally offered, her voice tearful.

Unsure what she was apologising her, Caroline still dismissed it and stepped forward to help Kate to the bath. As soon as she lay back, warm water easing the ache in her muscles, Kate began to cry softly. "I'm scared."

"Of what?" Caroline forced herself to ask, sitting on the edge of the bathtub.

"I don't want to do this by myself, Caroline. I'm scared that I will do it all wrong. And I'm scared that getting back with you will complicate things even more, but I'm scared of not getting back with you as well, because I love you and it hasn't gone away, and I've tried so hard to push it away."

Caroline swallowed, pushing down the bubbles of hope that began to alight. Instead, she offered, "Just take a deep breath and relax, Kate. You're upset, and you're tired. Just let the warm water relax you, and then you can sleep."

"Okay." Kate sniffed, nodding her head as though she trusted Caroline completely.

It was an hour later when Kate finally fell asleep. She was dressed snuggly in some flannel pyjamas, having suddenly complained of the cold, and she lay with her face buried in the pillow, breathing even.

Sighing, Caroline lay down beside her on top of the covers and stared at the ceiling.

..

"Kate's here?"

"Yes. Do you want toast or cereal?" Caroline put a bowl in front of her youngest son. "Where's William?"

"He's cramming upstairs. He is worried he's forgotten everything. Can I have ice-cream?" Lawrence asked hopefully.

"No." Caroline poured cereal into the bowl for him and then pushed the milk his way. "I'm going to go and bring William down, but you're not to upset him."

"What about Kate?"

"What about her?"

"Will she be coming down for breakfast? Are you back together with her again? Even though she's pregnant with someone else's baby."

"…Eat your breakfast and then go and pack your bag, we need to leave soon." Was all Caroline offered as she left the room.

It was Kate and not William she met on the stairs. They stared silently at one another for a long time before Kate gave a shy smile.

"I'm sorry about last night."

"It's fine. You were upset."

Kate nodded, finally pulling her eyes away from Caroline to look at Lawrence who stood in the kitchen doorway watching them with interest. "I should go home and get changed. I'll see you at school."

Nodding, Caroline stepped to the side to allow her to pass.

Disappointed, Lawrence rolled his eyes and returned to his breakfast.

"Kate." Caroline called as the brunette reached for the doorhandle.

Kate turned back towards her.

Celia had recited Kate's list of baby names to her once. It felt like years ago, now. "I like Grace."

Kate smiled. No. She beamed. "Me too."

"..I'll see you at school."

Kate nodded, smiling again, before she slipped out the front door.

Perhaps this was Caroline being offered her second chance, and she was determined to make the most of it.


	66. Broken-down

Caroline looked out the windscreen with increasing dismay as rain lashed at the car so heavily that nothing could be seen but sheaths of water. Her mind began to calculate just how long it had taken the mechanic to reach them the last time the car had broken down on a public holiday. It had been John's car which he had insisted on taking instead of the jeep. They'd visited his parents, and had then been stuck in the car together for almost three hours waiting for a mechanic to show up. The boys had been young then, and thankfully Lawrence had slept through it all. William had been upset because he wanted to read but it wasn't light enough, and he couldn't understand why his parents wouldn't just start the car and drive the rest of the way home. When they had eventually got home, John had left it to Caroline to make two trips through the rain to carry the boys to bed.

"Isn't this romantic."

Caroline's eyebrows rose dramatically as she turned her head to look at the woman in the seat beside her. "Pardon?"

"Romantic." Kate repeated, turning to smile at Caroline with her eyes sparkling. "I always think late, rainy nights are romantic. Just the twinkle of lights in the distance, and you know it's cold outside but you're nice and warm. And the sound of the rain hitting the car is so soothing, don't you think?"

Caroline gazed at Kate through the darkness that was only lit by the orange flash of their hazard lights. "Aren't you simple." It was said fondly, affectionately, and Kate couldn't help but smile at the words.

"But don't you think? We're here with all our favourite people, just like Christmas is supposed to be." Kate's eyes shone with a happiness that Caroline felt contagious.

"I could think of no one else I'd rather be stuck in a broken-down car with than you." Caroline replied, a flash of light brightening her smile as one of the back doors was yanked open and quickly slammed.

"It's fucking freezing!"

"Language." Caroline muttered, resting back in her seat with a sigh. "Did you manage to find something to go behind."

"I just wee'd in the ditch beside the car." Lawrence replied, rolling his eyes at his mother's look of disgust. "It's pitch black, no one would have seen me even if they had driven past. Which no one would, because no one else is stupid enough to take this backroad on a night like tonight."

Caroline huffed but didn't disagree. She'd been so eager to get home from Huddersfield that she had made the rash decision to drive the unpaved, quicker route.

"I don't see why we can't just call Gillian for help." Lawrence grumbled.

"Because anyone who can drive has had a skinful or is too old to drive in the dark. Any other questions you'd like me to answer for the hundredth time?!"

Sensing both people were becoming short fused, Kate looked hopefully in the mirror at William, but he was still fast asleep. "…What about John?"

The glare Caroline had reserved for her youngest son was quickly transferred to her wife. "Do you think he's less likely to be drunk?"

"…He said he has stopped drinking…"

"Like he said he has a million times in the past. Look, I'm sure the mechanic will be here very soon, so can we all just sit quietly and stop worrying."

Kate held her hands up apologetically before looking out the window, though she could see nothing but black and raindrops.

* * *

An hour later Caroline was sitting with her eyes shut as the rest of the car giggled. She was sure they'd gone mad.

"I spy with my little eye something beginning with G!" Kate exclaimed.

"Grass?"

"Glass?!

"Nope!" Kate grinned back at her step children.

"…Gearstick?"

"Good guess, but no."

"You're all mad. How can you be enjoying this?" Caroline asked no one.

"Got it!" Lawrence cried, waking Flora. "Grumpy mum!"

As Kate nodded her head, laughing so hard that tears formed in the corner of her eyes, Flora began to grizzle.

Lawrence wiped the tears from his own eyes and grinned at his sister. "You've woken up at the perfect time, Flozzy wozzy!"

Flora's frown turned into a smile, for she loved when Lawrence talked to her. "Wowwy."

"She's going to end up calling herself that, you know. One day, we're going to go to her graduation and they're going to call out 'Wowwy McKenzie-Dawson!" William pointed out.

"Better that Poofter Elliot."

"BOYS!" Caroline cried as William reached over to smack his brother.

"I think the mechanic is here!" Kate pointed to the lights approaching them.

"About time. Where's the umbrella?"

"…I didn't think you would want me to bring a wet umbrella in…" Lawrence spoke slowly.

"Where is it, Lawrence?"

"…Outside."

As Caroline pressed her head to the headrest and shut her eyes, Kate pulled on her hood. "I'll go. I'm waterproof."

Caroline didn't object, already thinking about trying to get from the house to the car without getting soaked.

* * *

"Caroline?"

"Yes."

"…Are you using our daughter to protect your hair?" Kate asked as Caroline held a giggling Flora over her head as she rushed to the front door.

"Would I?!" Caroline cried as she reached the undercover area and placed Flora on her hip.

"YES!" Came 3 replies.

"Well!" Caroline cried, though she smiled as Kate unlocked the door.


	67. A Yorkshire Fairytale

Once upon a time there were two women sat on a stone fence in the cold, one shared coffee between them their only source of warmth.

"How long have we been married?"

Kate let out a puff of air, pulling her jacket a little tighter around her shoulders. "5 years, 2 weeks and about…2 hours."

"Exactly."

"Have you been having some sort of conversation in your head that I'm not privy to again?" Kate reached out to brush hair from Caroline's face as the wind began to pick up.

"I just think it's odd, that's all."

"What is?"

"That we've been married for 5 years, 2 weeks and 2 hours and yet we are still doing...this."

"What's _this?"_ Kate asked, her hand moving back to grasp her warm coffee mug. Would it be another 5 years until she understood her wife, she wondered, or would she never get there?

"Having to go outside and hide to have a kiss."

"…We haven't kissed?"

"Good point!" Caroline's face lit up and Kate gave a laugh as gloved hands pressed to her cheeks and warm lips brushed hers. "Hi."

Kate smiled back. "Hello."

"If it wasn't for a kiss, why are we out here?"

"I'm meant to be distracting you." Kate began peeling off Caroline's gloves, starting a short tug-of-war which ended in them both wearing one glove each.

"From?" Caroline slipped her un-gloved hand into her pocket and used the other to take the coffee from Kate so she could have a sip.

"No idea. Gillian just pushed me out of the kitchen and asked me to distract you for a few minutes."

"Well, you could have distracted me somewhere nicer. We could have gone upstairs for an adult lie down."

"5 years, 2 weeks and 2 hours of marriage, and you still can't say sex in front of me." Kate laughed.

"I can say it, but if I say it, I'll want to do it, and then it's going to be awkward for everyone involved because I'll spent all evening mooning at you."

"Isn't mooning _at_ someone showing them your bottom?"

"Mooning _over_ you, then. Unless you'd like to see my bottom?"

"Always, darling, but perhaps not out here, I don't want it getting frostbite."

"No, fair enough." Caroline sighed. "Do you think you've distracted me long enough?"

"Probably, if you're game to go in and see what I've been distracting you from."

"Well, I'll have to go in eventually." Caroline pushed herself up and then held out a hand to Kate. "But if it's anything embarrassing, I'm going to have to insist we go upstairs and do that horizontal hokey pokey instead."

Laughing, Kate followed Caroline inside. "Can we come in?"

"SURPRISE!" Flora and Calamity jumped out, both dressed up as princesses with bright pink blush on their cheeks.

Caroline let out a laugh. "Don't you two look lovely!"

"What's all this?" Kate asked Gillian quietly in the doorway.

"No idea. They just told me they want to put on a play for Caroline, and it's apparently very important."

Both girls grabbed one of Caroline's hands and led her to the couch to sit her down. "Ready?" Asked Flora.

"Ready." Caroline nodded, glancing quizzically at Kate who could only shrug.

What followed, Caroline soon came to realise, was Flora and Emily-Jane putting on a play for her about Cinderella and a Princess Charming. Almost a month ago, while Caroline was reading to her, Flora had asked why there weren't fairytales with two women, like her parents. Caroline had told her there were, and had begun to tell Flora, bit by bit, about her meeting Kate. A much more PG version, she had assured the woman herself. Flora had been unconvinced that Kate was a good replacement for Prince Charming, but the story had apparently made more of an impact than Caroline had thought.

"The End!" Flora cried, grinning at her mother.

At a complete loss for words, Caroline merely pulled Flora into a tight hug, pulling Emily-Jane into it too after a seconds pause.

When Flora looked up at Kate, worry written on her face, Kate smiled and stepped forward to stroke her hair. "She loved it."

Relieved, Flora cuddled into her Mama.

* * *

"You've missed the whole point." Caroline noted that evening as she sat removing her make-up. "It was about you and me."

"Caroline, if you lost a shoe you'd come back and get it, and if it wasn't there you'd go and buy a whole new pair. And probably have the person who took it arrested." Kate pointed out from where she sat on the edge of the bed.

"Poetic license!"

"And if you had worn a princess dress when I first met you, I probably wouldn't have even bothered talking to you."

When Caroline paused, turning her head to raise an eyebrow, Kate gave a groan and fell back onto the bed.

"Okay, we both know that's a lie. I would have talked to you even if you were wearing a binbag."

"I'd like to think you love me for my intellect and wit, but I have a sneaking suspicion you're just with me for my body." Caroline shot back.

"You've caught me." Kate sighed, her face lighting when a smile when Caroline suddenly appeared, hovering over her.

"Sleeping beauty is another very good fairytale…"

"Mm, it is. One of my favourites."

"Would you care to wake me from a very long sleep with a perfect kiss?"

"…Go on then."

As Caroline laughed into Kate's kiss, a little girl in a room not too far away smiled. They were going to live happily ever after.


	68. Bathing Suit

It was Lawrence's idea, and Caroline had to admit it was a good one. Well, so she'd believed at the time, but the closer it came the more nervous she was. Sure, it had been cold here all year, but did that really mean they needed to go somewhere hot on holiday? Somewhere she'd need to wear a bathing suit?

She'd tried on her old one and quickly discarded it, for it was tight in all the wrong places. She'd have to go shopping for one. She would have to go into one of those horrible shops with young women she'd probably taught to buy a bathing suit.

The first shop she went into she walked straight back out of, for the shop assistant really was an ex-pupil.

The second shop she went into a week later she'd managed to browse, but everything seemed too ornate and too small for Caroline to even attempt to try on.

Finally, the day before they were due to leave Kate forced her into another shop under the guise of needing to buy something herself. Caroline had chosen three items that weren't completely horrible, but when Kate exited her dressing room to show off her favourite to Caroline, the blonde knew she wouldn't be able to wear a bathing suit. How could a woman who had had a baby in the last year look like _that?_ The colour of the bikini made Kate's skin glow, and Caroline was reminded once more just how beautiful her wife was.

"Show me yours." Kate smiled. Caroline had only stuck her head out of the curtain, her body staying resolutely hidden.

"…I don't think so." Caroline shook her head.

"I'm sure you look beautiful." Kate replied, reaching for the curtain. Caroline hung on resolutely, and there was a short struggle before kate managed to make her way into the dressing room. Where she remained silent.

"Kate?" Caroline finally asked nervously, tugging at the edge of the bathing suit.

"Oh my." Was all Kate offered.

"It's horrible, isn't it? It is tight in all the wrong places and a look-"

Caroline was cut off, the breath suddenly leaving her body as Kate's lips began peppering her chest with kisses, her hands sliding over Caroline's waist and hips, moving round to grip her bum firmly.

"K-ate?"

When Kate drew back, breathless, her pupils were large and she was so close Caroline could feel her heart hammering. She felt suddenly confident. "Does that mean you like it?" a smirk.

* * *

"Stop it."

A day later and they were walking towards the pool. Well, everyone else was walking but Kate was positive Caroline was sashaying.

"Stop what?" Caroline asked, eyes sparkling. "Shall we go in the pool, Flora?"

Flora clapped her hands, smiling though she had no idea what had been said.

"I think I might go and get a drink. A very cold drink." Kate murmured, walking away.

"Is kate okay?" William asked with a frown.

"Fine." Caroline smiled sitting on the step of the pool with Flora who gave a delighted giggle at the water lapping their feet. "Just a little overheated, I think. Where's Roxy?"

"She just went to get the sunscreen,. She's worried I'll burn to a crisp." William sat beside them, making little splashes with his hands that Flora tried to recreate, splashing the water directly into Caroline's face. "Oops."

"One of the hazards of taking a baby into the pool." Caroline wiped her face with one hand. "Along with pooing, weeing and refusing to wear a hat."

"Worth it, though."

"Very." Caroline smiled at her son then dropped a kiss to Flora's head. "Come on, you. Into the deep end before your mummy comes and tells us off!" Caroline walked further into the water with Flora who began to kick her legs against the water.

William glanced towards Kate who was watching from under a wide brimmed hat, a large drink full of ice in her hand. This holiday was going to be so happy, so different to the ones he had had growing up.

There was a sudden, resounding splash, followed by both Flora and Caroline coughing, then Caroline telling her younger son off. Well, not completely different, then, but definitely happier.


	69. Sadness

Caroline hummed as she walked in the front door of her home. A completely stress free day, and now a whole long weekend to look forward to. She intended to take her bag through to her study, but made a beeline for the couch when she saw Kate's feet poking off the end of it.

"Hello." Caroline smiled as she dropped her things into the armchair before kneeling in front of the couch so she could be level with Kate's face to kiss her.

"You seem very happy." Kate smiled faintly back.

"I had a good day at work, and now I have a long weekend to look forward to with my three favourite people." Caroline responded, leaning forward to kiss her wife, but just before she made contact, a familiar voice called out.

"Is that you, Caroline? I'm making dinner! Would you like a glass of wine?"

"…Is that john?" Caroline sat back on her heels, glancing out the door. "What on earth is he doing here?!"

"Your guess is as good as mine. He was here when I got home, I suppose Lawrence let him in." Kate replied miserably.

"Why didn't you just tell him to leave?!"

"I tried! But they were…bonding. And Lawrence was happy. So I couldn't."

"…I was looking forward to a relaxing night…"

"I'm sorry…"

Caroline shook her head, squeezing Kate's arm before she stood up. "It's not your fault. What are you doing lying in here? They haven't upset you, have they?"

"No." Kate wiped her face again as she sat up.

"…Has my mother upset you?"

"No. No one has. I'm just tired."

Caroline studied her for a long time before nodding. "Why don't I go out and pick up some of your favourite take-away, and then we can go upstairs and watch a movie together while we eat in bed."

Kate gave a soft smile, nodding her head.

* * *

"It was Richard."

"What was?" Caroline had been half asleep and had barely been following the plot of the movie they were watching.

"Who upset me."

Caroline blinked, thinking, then pushed herself up a little. "How?"

"I saw him at the supermarket. With his new wife. Well, she's no new. They've been together longer than we were married. They've got four children. three girls and a boy. Twins girls, I think, then a boy, and then a girl who must have been concieved soon after we divorced." Kate's voice was almost monotone.

"…Oh."

"They were lovely. Very pretty, very polite. But I just..I lost four when I was with him, Caroline, and I feel like he was replacing them all. I know it's silly, but I just felt so…hurt. He kept trying to talk to me and introduce them all, but I couldn't do it." Kate wiped her face on her pillow to remove the tears from her cheek.

Caroline slid down in the bed so her head was level with Kate's and she could look at her across the pillow. "It's not silly. I'm sure he still remembers them, still grieves for them, just like you do. I suppose a supermarket isn't really the place to talk about it, though."

"No, I suppose not."

"…Do you want to meet him somewhere, talk about it? It might make you feel better."

Kate thought for a long time about this, then shook her head. "I think I might…just be sad for a few days."

"Okay." Caroline reached forward to tuck some hair behind Kate's ear, then stroked her cheek. "That's okay. It's okay to be sad sometimes."

Kate moved forward, resting her head on Caroline's shoulder as she thought of all the children that never came to be.


	70. Man Flu

**A/N: Exams all done- I passed everything! Party time! (By party, I mean re-watch LTIH, Happy Valley, and other general Sarah Lancashire things).**

* * *

Caroline walked out into the corridor and drew in a deep breath. Today was not her day. First she'd woken with a cold, then Beverley calling in sick, then Gavin asked her to get one of the maths teachers to retire somehow so the school wouldn't be liable for unfair dismissal, despite the teacher being, in Caroline's opinion, a doddery old fool, and now John had left at least four voicemails. He might be drunk. He probably was. Caroline was torn between deleting them and pretending they never happened, and listening to them just to make sure the boys were okay. But Lawrence was here at school, she was sure of that, and William had texted her half an hour earlier. Nothing bad can happen in half an hour, surely?

"Excuse me, Dr. McKenzie-Dawson?"

Caroline looked down at the girl before her. Surely she was too young to be going to Sulgrave? Or perhaps Caroline herself was just getting very, very old. Whatever the reason, Caroline could not remember the girls name, so instead favoured her with a smile. "Can I help you?"

The girl apparently decided to size Caroline up, and when she felt the woman before her was up the task, she offered, "You studied Chemistry."

"Yes, I did." Caroline nodded, catching sight of Lawrence at a distance. Perhaps she could catch him before his next class.

"I have a proposal for you. About the chemistry lab."

Caroline looked down at the girl with renewed interest. Well, a chemistry proposal by a 5 year old masquerading as a college student was surely more interesting than Gavin or John. "Well, it just so happens I have some time now, so why don't you come into my office-"

"Martha." The girl replied, swanning into the office ahead of its headmistress, sneezing loudly as she did so.

* * *

When Caroline returned home that evening, she dropped her bag onto the bench beside the door and then sat beside it, moving forward to rest her head in her hands. Surely today had been longer than any other day in existence.

"Mum?" Lawrence questioned when he followed his mother through the front door.

"I think I might be going to cry."

Lawrence stared at her for a moment, then rushed into the main house. "Kate! Mum's going to cry!"

A few moments later, Kate entered the front hall armed with a box of tissues, raising both them and her eyebrows.

"I think I'm fine now. The moment has passed." Caroline offered, resting her head back against the cool wall behind her.

"Tough day?" Kate asked as crouched to slide Caroline's heels from her feet.

Caroline was momentarily awed. No one had ever done that for her before. Well, not since she was a very young girl. "I think I might be going to cry again."

Smiling sightly, Kate pushed herself up and held out a hand to the blonde. "Why don't I run you a bath and bring you a cup of tea."

Nodding her head, Caroline followed her wife silently up the stairs, sniffling softly in her misery. Her head ached, her body ached, and she was probably going to cry at any moment.

…

"Kate!" Lawrence's panicked cry came for the second time about an hour later.

Kate followed his voice to find that a dressing gown covered blonde now had Lawrence and Flora in an unyielding hug.

"Caroline, don't you think it's time you want to bed?"

Caroline sniffled again, glancing at the clock. The distraction loosened her grip and Lawrence pulled away gladly, but though poor Flora wriggled, she was still held tightly. "I suppose it's not too early for bed.."

"I think you're right." Kate reached out for Flora, settled the girl on her hip and then put a hand to Caroline's back to lead her from the room.

"What's going on?" Lawrence whispered loudly when his mother had left the room.

"Man flu." Kate replied.

…

"I did tell you that you should have taken the day off." Kate stroked her wife's forehead where it rested on her lap atop a pillow.

"I know." Caroline replied miserably before she gave another sneeze.

"Has anything happened today that couldn't have been sorted tomorrow if you'd taken time off?"

Caroline sniffed, then wiped her nose. "No."

"Will anything happen tomorrow that you can't deal with the next day if you take tomorrow off?"

"…I'll be fine in the morning." Caroline croaked, just as she had done the night before.

"Mm-hmm." Was all Kate replied, continuing to stroke Caroline's warm forehead until her eyes finally shut. Satisfied she was asleep, Kate slipped downstairs to make a phone call.

* * *

Two days later, after a day of bed rest enforced by Kate, a spritely Caroline kissed her wife on the cheek and then headed towards the front door. "I'm leaving in two minutes, Lawrence."

Lawrence came thundering down the stairs with his mobile held in an outstretched hand. "Sorry, Ma. Dad wants to talk to you."

Rolling her eyes, Caroline took the phone. "John?"

"Why didn't you call me the other day? I left you messages."

"I had other things to do. Is there something you wanted?" Caroline pulled one of Flora's hopefully deposited toys from her bag and then grabbed her coat.

John sniffled down the phone. "I can't take Lawrence this weekend, I think I might have influenza."

"Uh-huh. What are you symptoms?"

"Blocked nose, red eyes, a headache-"

"You've got a cold, John. I've got to go, I'm leaving for work." Caroline handed the phone back to son before pulling on her coat.

"Who was that?" Kate asked, blotting ineffectually at the pureed vegetable that she now wore on her t-shirt.

"John. I think he's got man flu. You'd better take that off and spray it with something." Caroline offered, not noticing Kate's eyeroll of Lawrence's smirk.

"It seems to be going around, this man flu, doesn't it Lawrence?" Kate called as she returned to the kitchen.

"It does, Kate!" Lawrence smirked as he slid his phone into his bag. "You coming, Ma? We're going to be late if you don't hurry up."

Tutting, Caroline followed him from the house.


	71. Another Birthday Story

**A/N: It was my aim to get to 100 updates on this before the end of the year, but as I've had a bit of a break I'm behind on my plan. If anyone would like to help me write, or has a unfinished one-shot they'd like me to play around with to post, please let me know!**

* * *

Caroline wore a mischievous smile, blue eyes sparkling as she looked down at Kate.

"We'll be late." Kate offered, though she too smiled.

"Don't care." Caroline replied, fingers moving their tender tracing up Kate's thigh a little, making the brunette draw in a sharp breath.

"You do." Kate tried to reason. "You'll panic soon and I'll be left like this, unable to move!"

"I can be quick." Caroline's voice was deeper than usual, belying her own desire and making Kate shiver.

"Caroline-" Kate's final attempt was cut off by the dancing fingers running through her folds before being drawn to the blonde's pink, smiling lips to be tasted. Eye's a little wider, pupils dilated, Kate grabbed her girlfriend's wrist and returned the hand back to where she wanted it. But as Caroline's agile fingers worked their magic and Kate writhed on already crumpled bedsheets, the sound of feet stomping came down the hallway. Caroline was completely absorbed in her work and didn't hear a thing, but Kate stilled. She was still terrified of Lawrence walking in on them like this. As Caroline stilled, too, looking up at Kate curiously, a voice called out.

"MUM! We need to go early and get my rugby boots from dads!"

As Caroline groaned and flopped onto the mattress, her damp fingers still resting on Kate's thigh, the brunette shut her eyes tightly.

Happy bloody birthday, Miss McKenzie.

* * *

"I made you this." Caroline offered by way of greeting and apology an hour later, holding out a thermos. "Well, I didn't actually make it, but I picked it up from my favourite coffee shop for you. I always make sure to get one on days I'm going to need a little added strength."

Caroline had been opening up more and more of late, and it warmed Kate's heart usually. Today, though, she only had one thing on her mind and she was going to have to spend exactly 2 hours and 5 minutes on the bus sat next to the cause of that thought.

"I got you this, too. Nothing special. An apple muffin. They only had one blueberry one left, and I can't give up my Friday blueberry muffin for anyone, even you."

"Thank you." Kate finally managed, a smile on her lips. "I didn't have time for breakfast, so I might eat y- it! now before the kids get here and make snide comments about an unhealthy breakfast."

Caroline smirked but gave no other indication that she'd heard the slip up.

* * *

"You're very popular today." Caroline noted twenty minutes later as Kate's phone pinged again.

"It's my birthday."

"It's today?!" Caroline turned in her seat, aghast. "I thought it was tomorrow! I'm sure your file said…" Caroline's voice faded before she added, "You should have said, I'd have let you have the blueberry muffin."

Kate let out a laugh, she couldn't help it, and despite herself Caroline felt pleased.

"I'll bring you in a whole box of them tomorrow morning for your breakfast by way of apology."

"Early? While they're still warm?" Kate's eyes lit up.

"Fresh from the oven." Caroline promised.

"..I can't kiss you now."

"Nope. No." Caroline drew her lips in, turning away a little though a smile quickly found its way into the world.

* * *

"Oh, now I remember why I came on this trip!" Caroline let out a satisfied moan, making poor Kate shudder.

"I thought it was because Lawrence was playing in the rugby match? Or to spend time with me?"

"..Would I sound like a terrible mother and partner if I was to say I hate rugby and I only came so I could sneak away for a freshly made Bakewell tart? My dad used to bring me here for these."

Kate's genuine smile faltered when Caroline sucked her finger clean of icing before continuing to talk.

"Kate?" Caroline's voice suddenly cut through her thoughts. "Are you okay?"

"Fine. Just mourning my youth." Kate forced a smile.

"You're not going to buy a sports car and drop me for a younger model, are you?"

"You don't pay me enough to buy a sports car." Kate pointed out.

"Oh, so that's the only thing about that sentence that you disagree with?" Caroline raised an eyebrow. Kate was about to tease her again when she noticed the sparkle that seemed ever present in Caroline's eyes had begun to fade.

"There's no younger model of you, Caroline. God knew not to mess with perfection."

A smirk slowly began to pull at the corner of Caroline's mouth. "I will let you get away with saying that, but only because it's your birthday."

* * *

"Where's Lawrence going?" When they exited the bus that afternoon back at Sulgrave, instead of following his mother and Kate, Lawrence rushed with Angus to his fathers car.

Caroline glanced over her shoulder as she made her way into the building. "He is spending the weekend with Angus. I've organised something for you and I for tomorrow night, and I didn't think he would want to be there for it."

Kate had a flash of blue eyes, pupils dilated with lust come unbidden into her mind. She swallowed. "And I went and ruined it by being born a day early. Typical McKenzie behaviour."

"I'll forgive you, this once. Don't do it again next year, though." Caroline smiled over her shoulder at Kate before pushing on the door that led to her office.


	72. Chocolate Cake

**A/N: Thanks to** **Dis-Moi for this idea!**

 **For anyone wondering, Man Flu is when men get the same cold as a woman, but while the woman gets on with her home and work life, the man has to stay in bed and feel very sorry for himself.**

* * *

"Home!" Caroline called as she walked through the front door. She never used to announce her arrival when John lived here, hoping instead for a few moments of quiet before the inevitable argument, but now she loved to hear the sound of tiny feet running her way, or Kate appearing in the doorway with a gentle smile. Today, though, neither happened. Frowning, Caroline dropped her bag and followed the sound of music towards the kitchen.

"What on earth-"

Lawrence was the first to see her, and looked slightly mortified. "I thought you'd be home later…"

Caroline stared with dismay at the state of her kitchen. "Where's Kate?"

"She went out with a friend." Lawrence shrugged, wiping ineffectually at the scattered flour with a wet cloth, making it turn into slime.

"..Flora?" Caroline finally asked as she watched the strings of slime now marring her perfect bench top.

"I'm here!" Came a call, followed by a giggle.

Caroline didn't want to step forward, didn't want to look, but she couldn't stop herself. A couple of steps further into the kitchen, hands holding her coat close so it didn't get mess on it, Caroline found Flora. Sat on the floor, she was covered almost head to toe in flour, her new dress covered in what might be jam, and her hands currently stirring something brown in a bowl.

Silently, Caroline turned to look at her son with raised eyebrows.

"She wanted to make you a cake." He shrugged helplessly.

"It's chocolate!" Flora advised as she joined them, her small batter covered hand reaching out to grab onto Caroline's coat. "Your favourite."

Caroline shut her eyes with dismay. She'd have to send it for dry cleaning, now.

"Why is there flour everywhere?" Caroline directed at her son.

"I asked Flora to pour it in the bowl…"

"She's 4, Lawrence. She can't even colour inside the lines."

Flora looked between the two of them, then hoping it would please her mother as much as it had pleased her, held up a chocolate covered hand. "Want a taste?"

* * *

"It's not funny, Kate."

"It is a bit." Kate replied, unable to stop herself smiling. When she'd arrived home, she found Caroline sat on the front step looking very sorry for herself. She'd told Kate they'd need to move to a new house. "I'm sure it's not that bad."

"It's worse."

"What are they doing now?"

"Oh, god knows. Probably painting the ceiling in icing. Don't laugh!"

"Caroline, they were trying to do something nice for you!"

"Couldn't they have done something…clean?"

"Why don't we go in and you take Flora upstairs for a bath while I see what I can salvage of your pristine kitchen?" Kate offered, knowing full well whatever she did, Caroline would do it again later. Only she could clean that kitchen properly, apparently.

Caroline nodded her head miserably.

* * *

"Nice?" Flora moves under Caroline's arm to move her face as close as she can get it, a hopeful smile on her lips.

Caroline tried not to think about the time Flora tried to pick chewing gum off the floor last week, or her hands mixing the cake. "Delicious." She managed a smile, just, but it was so fake that across the table, Kate laughed into her hand. "I'm sure your mummy would like some." Caroline offered hopefully, smirking when Kate's smile fell.

"No." Flora responded. "Just for Mama. To say thank you."

Caroline's face softened at this. "Thank you for what?"

"Letting Lawrence have his xbox back."

Caroline raised her eyebrows and looked at her son, but he pretended to be studiously reading something he'd picked up from the table. "Lawrence will get his x-box back when he has cleaned his room like I asked him."

"Sorry, Lawrence." Flora gave a small shrug.

"It's okay, sis. Worth a shot." He replied. "Why don't we let mum have another piece? She looks awfully hungry."

"Another piece with sprinkles!" Flora returned her attention to Caroline, a smile lighting her face.

Finally taking pity on her wife, Kate stood and picked up the plate. "No more before dinner."

* * *

Later that evening, kids in bed and the house shut up, Kate switched off the hallway light and then glanced into the kitchen to find Caroline wiping down surfaces.

"Bed time, Caroline. It's perfectly clean in there."

"It might seem it, but this kitchen is deceptive. There are a lot of nooks and crannies that might have been missed last time." Caroline replied as she wiped vigorously at a spot of nothing on the bench top.

"It's clean, Caroline." As their daughter had done earlier, Kate slipped under Caroline's arm to stand in front of her. "Perfectly clean. We've already both cleaned it once." Her hand rested on Caroline's arm to stop its movement.

"But-"

"But, it's 11pm, we need to be up at 7, and I have plans for you upstairs."

Caroline huffed, looking around at the kitchen for any obvious signs of mess. "What sort of plans?"

"It involves chocolate icing and your naked body."

Caroline's gaze finally fell on her wife, a smiling pulling at the corner of her lips. "Really?"

Kate nodded.

"..is that a thing? What do you…do with the icing?" Caroline's smile grew.

"Come upstairs and I'll show you." Kate tugged on her wife's hand.

"…It'll be awfully messy."

Rolling her eyes, Kate slipped under Caroline's arm and walked towards the stairs. "Then I guess we'll have to shower together afterwards. Coming?"

Caroline gave the kitchen another cursory glance and then rushed after her wife, forgotten cleaning cloth still in hand.


	73. Secret Santa

**A/N: I had planned to get up to 100 oneshots before new years, but apparently the world had other plans. With no laptop and very soon no internet, I will be unable to post very often, if at all. I hope you can all enjoy what I've written thus far, and thank you so much for all the reviews and PMs.**

* * *

In the staffroom, kate was surrounded by her colleagues being shown photos from the christmas party she hadn't attended. Laughing and teasing was abound, particularly pointed at Michael,who had apparently drunk too much and tried to make the moves on one of the old history teachers.

This was how Caroline found the room when she walked in intending to make her customary pre-christmas break speech. In the past, she'd often felt like an outsider in her own school. It had been her own fault, she knew, because she hadn't really make an effort to socialise with anyone at work. She still didn't, not really, but it seemed as though being Kate's partner had allowed her entrance into the group without having to make any effort at all. Invites to parties she hadn't even known were occurring over the past few years had suddenly come thick and fast. It wasn't as though Kate seemed to put in much effort, either, for she never went to these parties, but somehow people were drawn to her. It was a mystery to Caroline, really, all this friendliness and socialisation.

One thing she did understand, though, was that she loved Kate. She could admit it, these days. She could feel it. Sometimes, like now, she would get a surge of it that tightened her chest. Kate had opened her world so much, and yet what did she bring to her? A dysfunctional family, a house that she probably didn't always feel welcome in. This question used to keep Caroline awake at night until one day Kate had answered it for her. "You."

Kate now broke away from the group, walking to make herself a cup of tea. Looking at photos was always amusing or interesting at first, but the interest always waned quickly when you hadn't been there yourself, and Kate could smile for only so long.

A look in the box the tea was in made her heart sink. None left. She had been thinking about a warming cup of tea all lunch break, watching longingly as staff wandered in and made themselves a cup. None would be brought now, she supposed. Not when they wouldn't be here for a few days. Beverley would probably restock before the first day back, but that didn't help Kate at all.

"I picked your name from the secret santa hat."

If Kate was surprised by this sudden voice behind her, she gave no indication, just wrinkled her nose at the dried coffee and opened the draw a little wider, hoping to find a stray teabag. "That's hardly fair. I got Mrs Jensen. What does one get a woman who does nothing but yell at people and fall asleep at inopportune moments?"

"A megaphone that doubles as a pillow?" Caroline offered unhelpfully, finally reaching past Kate's hand to pull out the box of some disgusting Carob drink that no-one liked to show a hidden box of teabags.

Kate let out a breath of relief, pulling out a bag. "Do you want a cup?"

Caroline shook her head as she finally moved into Kate's vision, resting her bum against the cabinet beside her as she watched the other staff. "Someone already left my secret santa. Who on earth looked at me and thought I would like a lurid pink photo frame? I've obviously been projecting myself incorrectly somehow."

"Or maybe someone was being thoughtful because you have a baby daughter and might like a picture of her on your desk?" Kate offered, tapping Caroline's bum to get her to move so she could reach the milk.

"But pink? It's not even a nice, gentle pink. It's the sort of pink that screams whenever you look at it." Caroline wrinkled her nose in distaste.

"Well you'd better not re-gift it to me." Kate replied being taking a grateful sip of tea.

"That's a thought. What time are we all doing secret santa?" Caroline smirked at her wife before she finally moved away, calling for everyones attention so she could make her speech.

 _She really is magnificent_ Kate thought as she watched the blonde command the room. One of her friends had said she would no longer think so once they lived together, but if anything it had made her appreciate Caroline's magnificences even more. She was magnificent commanding a room of adults, and she was magnificent when she sat on the floor in her pyjamas making faces at a giggling baby.

* * *

When the staff did secret santa that afternoon, Kate looked around hopefully for Caroline, but though Beverley was there, the head mistress seemed to have made herself scarce.

Handed her gift, Kate turned it over in her hands. It certainly felt like a lurid pink photo frame. If it was, she would put a hideous photo in it then glue it to Caroline's bedside table. Turning it over again, Kate began to unwrap the gift, a smile pulling at her lips when she saw a lurid pink beginning to show. Oh, this meant war. But then, unwrapped fully, Kate found a beautiful photo inside the frame, of Caroline, head mistress of Sulgrave, the magnificent woman who could command a room of 600 teenagers as well as a group of adults, sitting on Santa Claus' knee with a grinning Flora on her lap, and beside them…Kate squinted to make sure, and then smiled. Lawrence and William dressed as elves.

"Oh, what a lovely Frame, Miss McKenzie!" Mrs Jensen exclaimed. Four years and countless conversations, and the woman still refused to call her Kate. Nor had she pointed her enquiries to Kate's married name, either. "Don't tell her, but I gave Dr Elliot the very same one!"

* * *

Caroline was momentarily silent that christmas day when she opened her presents. Not one, not two, but ten hideous pink photo frames, each one containing it's respective gift giver making a face. A glance up at Kate found the brunette busying herself with watching William unwrap his present, a small smirk on her lips. A look around the room found all it's occupants with the same expression, none of them looking at her.

"Oh, very funny." She finally offered, a collective laugh lighting the room. "Did Flora and Calamity really have to get me one as well?!"

* * *

From that year on, it became a sort of tradition. One person every year was given a hideous frame with a silly picture of the family inside of it. And every year, somehow, Caroline would get Kate for secret santa and give her a photo of her family gathered around santa. Kate's favourite was the year Celia dressed up as Mrs Claus looking as though she'd sucked on a lemon.

Caroline felt a surge of love for her wife whenever she saw one of those horrid frames. She had given her friendship, happiness, silliness, traditions… What had she given Kate? Herself. And for the first time in Caroline's life, that was enough.


	74. Self Love

Caroline had never been a woman who loved her body. She'd never worn a bikini in her life, never walked from the bathroom naked, never looked at herself and thought 'I look good today!'. When Kate had made a passing comment on how much she loved Caroline's body, the head teacher had immediately thought Kate was making a joke.

That evening, she had stood in front of the mirror naked and assessed herself. Still nothing she liked. In fact, even less than there used to be.

But slowly, this began to change.

The second time she stood naked in front of the mirror was when Kate was in the bath in the next room, chatting to her through the doorway. Looking over her body, the first thing Caroline noticed were the pink smudges that covered her breasts. Kate loved her breasts and could spend hours caressing and kissing them if Caroline didn't begin to wriggle in frustration. Very occasionally, the pink marks went a little too high and Caroline was forced to wear a scarf for the day. When she looked at her breasts in the past she had seen ones that used to be fuller and perkier, but ones that had now drooped, only suitable to be seen with a bra on. Now, she began to see what Kate saw. They were still fuller than many womens, and the nipples Kate so loved were a perfect shade of pink that were very responsive to even the smallest of breeze. They may not look like they used to, but they had nursed two children. What Kate wouldn't give to have breasts like hers for that very reason, Caroline knew. So when she looked at her breasts, she smiled, then rolled her eyes at herself and slipped her bra on.

* * *

After that, this gazing at herself became more common. She would look at her abdomen and wonder just what about it she had so disliked. It had carried two healthy children and bore those marks proudly. There was a spot over her ribs that was so ticklish it had often stopped love making in it's tracks, Caroline laughing loudly as Kate tickled her with fingers or kisses over the spot, then joining in with the laughter until they both had tears on their faces, red eyes and sore stomachs.

Another time she studied her face. There were frown lines, lines that showed how unhappy she'd been in the past, or the hours she spent bent over her work, but now there were laughter lines, too. Her eyes seemed brighter, shining with a happiness she'd never quite believed was possible. Her nose, which she'd always disliked, now just made her think of Kate kissing her there once when she was poorly and feeling sorry for herself.

One day, in the middle of a bleak winter when the snow outside was so heavy that no amount of heating seemed to keep the house warm, Caroline found herself looking at her legs. They were strong, and-

"Are you checking yourself out again?" Kate asked as she walked from the bathroom towel drying her hair.

"Might be." Caroline nodded, searching for the scar she'd got once in university when she had tried to open a bottle of wine a little too desperately and it had shattered in her lap.

"Well, you're looking at the wrong side." Kate approached Caroline, towel dropping as she rested her hands on Caroline's hips and turned her bum a little towards the mirror. Satisfied, Kate rested her chin on Caroline's shoulder and smiled at her in the mirror before looking down at her bottom. "That there is the first thing I noticed about you."

"A bottom that's too big because I sit on it all day?" Caroline enquired. Well, self love did have it's off days, she supposed.

"The shapeliest of bottoms that always seemed to be sashaying through my mind. I wondered what it might feel like to grab it, to kiss it, to rest my hands on it as I kissed you so that we might be pulled just a little closer together." Kate gave a fond sigh.

"And what did it feel like?" Caroline asked.

Kate didn't answer immediately, her fingers stroking from hips to buttocks, then scraping nails against the skin, sending warmth to Caroline's face and wetness to her core.

"Perfection." Kate finally replied. "The perfect combination of strength and softness. Skin so smooth it reminds me of silk." Kate's fingers moved now to find the wetness she knew she'd created.

Caroline watched in fascination, almost as though she wasn't part of the moment as Kate's nimble fingers made her knees weak. Kate's eyes darkened with desire, her breathing came in spurts, and Caroline could feel her tremble.

Her fascination soon turned to her own form- the darkening nipples, the light sheen of sweat that began to appear, the trickle of water finding it's way down her body from Kate's damp hair. She felt the way her stomach muscles began to ripple, to spasm, as her breathing grew erratic. She saw the dampness that now coated her inner thighs, so milk white in contrast to Kate's darker hand moving there.

Then suddenly she was brought back to reality when a surge of pleasure shot up her back bone and right down to her toes, making them tingle. It only seemed to grow stronger when soft, tender lips whispered in her ear, "You're so beautiful."

That was the day Caroline fell in love with herself.

* * *

She supposed it was only right to return the favour four weeks after the birth of their daughter when she found Kate looking at her once taut middle with dismay.

Walking up behind her, Caroline wrapped her arms around Kate, hands moving to rest of the softness she found there. "You're beautiful." She whispered fervently into Kate's ear, their eyes locked in the mirror.

Kate smiled, and Caroline smiled back.


	75. Panic

Caroline still had a panic about it all at least once a day. How had her life changed this much so quickly? It was too much, it was too quick.

How had a birthday weekend away become THIS?

When they'd arrived at the hotel, Caroline waiting with baited breath to hear Kate's reaction to her momentus room cock-up, things had not gone as expected. When the receptionist had mentioned two rooms, Kate had corrected her. The receptionist had apologised and changed them to a larger single room. Caroline had hoped that Kate really believed that it was the hotel who had made the mistake, but as soon as they stepped into the lift and Kate had given her a look, she knew that she was busted. The walk to their room had been done in silence, but as soon as the door was shut Kate had turned on her. They'd argued, Caroline admitting that she'd panicked on the phone and Kate looking incredulous.

"I've got to go downstairs to meet Greg. If you're too embarrassed to be seen with me, then perhaps you'd better stay up here." Kate had shot back at her.

Caroline had looked pained, then. Had felt pained. "I'm not embarrassed to be seen with you, Kate. I'm not. I'm just…freaking out. This is a huge step for me. I know you think it's pathetic, that it's 2013 and there are people doing it all over the world, but I've spent 30 years denying who I am, Kate. Pretending I don't feel the way I feel. I'm trying to be brave for you. And for myself. But sometimes I lose my nerve. And then the thought of meeting someone you've dated before, who was…normal, and funny and nice and nothing at all like me-"

"Stop it, Caroline. Stop trying to make me feel sorry for you."

"I'm not! I'm just saying-" Caroline had attempted, but Kate had cut her off again.

"Greg's here, I'm going downstairs." Kate had swanned from the room, slamming the door.

It had taken Caroline almost an hour to gain the courage to go downstairs. By then, they'd moved to the dining room and were awaiting their food. She had sat down in silence, eyes on Kate who refused to look at her. Greg himself had only given her a cursory hello before he continued on with his story.

As Greg talked, Kate tried to put herself in Caroline's shoes. A year ago she had been married, had thought she would be married forever. Her two children were almost grown up, she had a demanding job. Her life was sorted. Then suddenly (not suddenly, Kate noted, thinking of all the looks they'd shared before that very first kiss), Caroline was in a relationship with a woman, the sort of relationship she'd never allowed herself to even think about because of her mother's views, views she'd taken on herself to help live the lie she found herself in, and this woman wanted a child. Caroline was a scientist. She liked order and plans, she liked to understand everything. Now, there was no order to her life, her plans were in disarray and she found herself in a world she had ignored for years, a world she didn't understand.

As Caroline toyed with the salmon she'd chosen and looked forlornly at Kate, a hand suddenly reached out under the table to grip hers. Caroline had looked down at it, then up at Kate with surprise. Kate had given her a gentle smile and squeezed her hand.

She would never understand what she'd done to deserve Kate.

Except now, suddenly (not suddenly at all), Caroline found herself in a relationship with a woman, engaged to be married to a woman, a pregnant woman, no less. And so she panicked. At least once a day she had a right royal panic.

Today, it was over Kate's maternity leave. None of the teachers she could find were as qualified or as good as the woman herself. Try as she might, Caroline couldn't look at them objectively. They weren't Kate, so they weren't good enough.

As Caroline paced her room and wondered how the hell she was going to deal with all this, the woman herself rushed into the room, hand over her mouth. She offered a strangled apology before she was sick into one of the pot plants.

Caroline stared for a moment, then felt a laugh bubbling up from the very depths. When it broke free, Kate turned to her with a sheepish smile.

"Sorry. It came out of nowhere and i didn't think I'd make it to the bathroom."

"I cannot believe I've been sat here for two hours agonising over who I could employ who might manage to be even a little bit close to the perfection that is you… the woman who ran in and vomited in my favourite pot plant." Caroline held out a glass of water to Kate, still smiling widely.

"Sorry." Kate apologised again. "I can take it outside and clean it?"

"It's fine." Caroline waved the apology away. "I'll do it myself. I should get used to poo and sick and wee again, I suppose."

"Don't mention them." Kate groaned, paling again as she rested heavily on the edge of Caroline's desk.

"Sorry." Caroline smiled, approaching her to rub her middle tenderly. "Do you want me to go and get you some of that fizzy ginger drink?"

"Would you?"

"I won't be long." Caroline dropped a kiss to Kate's hair. "Go and sit in my chair and have a flick through your possible maternity cover. I don't like the look of any of them, but I don't think I'm being very objective."

When Caroline had left, Kate looked through the files with a smile. Her own resume was there, her staff photo pride of place, and Caroline had apparently been comparing it to all the substitute teacher files. Scribbled on a piece of paper next to it were all their faults, which ended with the phrase 'NOT KATE' underlined beside it.

What had she done to deserve a woman like Caroline?


	76. One Step at a Time

They'd never really gone on a date. Not a proper one. They were always meeting for a reason- Caroline had an hour to spare, they needed to talk about them or about school or about John. They'd never met just _because_ \- because they wanted to see one other. After what had happened at the hotel, Kate assumed they never would. She wondered if anyone was to ask when she'd last dated, would she even bother to mention Caroline?

Caroline kept trying to get back into her life, and Kate had been steadfast in her refusal. She supposed Caroline had found her at a weak moment.

"Do you want to go out to dinner with me tonight?" Caroline was looking at her with that same expression she'd worn for months. Forlorn.

"Why?" Kate had been guarded. "If it's about the 9A trip, I've already given Beverley the details."

"It's not about school." Caroline's voice was resigned now.

"Then what's it about?"

Caroline opened and closed her mouth a couple of times before she replied, "Nothing. I just…we wouldn't even have to talk at all if you don't want to. I'd just like to sit with you."

The blonde was already walking away when Kate replied a quiet. "Okay."

And so now here they were in the middle of a bustling restaurant being completely silent together. Kate might have laughed if she hadn't felt so close to tears.

"How are you enjoying your meal?"

Kate looked down at her food as Caroline replied. Her voice sounded so happy. She was happy to sit here in silence with Kate. "It's delicious, thank you."

And those were the only words spoken. Even when they finished eating and Kate began to worry that Caroline might insist on paying, but in the event the waiter had told them they could split the bill before they'd even asked.

It wasn't until Kate had climbed in her car and tried and failed to start it that she allowed her tears to fall. Resting her forehead on the steering wheel, she let out a sob and then another. Soon she was so caught up in her misery that she didn't hear the voice calling her, and only realised the door had been opened when she felt an icy breeze. Turning her head, she found Caroline squatting beside the open car with a look of concern on her face, her hand in Kate's thigh.

"What's happened? What's the matter?" Caroline's eyes flickered to Kate's small baby bump and then back up to her eyes.

"C-Car won't start." Kate managed to force out, another sob escaping.

The relief was evident on Caroline's face. "I'll call you a mechanic." A car that wouldn't start was something she could easily fix.

"I just want to go home." Kate sobbed.

"W..I…I could drive you home? I will drive you home and I'll call for a mechanic to come and tow the car."

Kate didn't argue. Instead, she climbed wearily from the car. Caroline was surprised when she rested her forehead momentarily against her before she walked towards the waiting SUV.

* * *

Somehow, and she wasn't sure how, Kate managed to calm herself by the time Caroline pulled into the driveway, and when the car came to a stop, she managed to force a small smile. "Sorry. I…my emotions are all over the place some days."

"I remember what it was like, it's okay." Caroline replied with a kind smile, glancing again at the bump.

"…I can't sleep, either. Every time I lie down I seem to get heartburn, and I wake myself up kicking off the covers even though I'm usually freezing." Now she'd opened up, Kate couldn't seem to stop herself. She only really talked to her mother about the baby, she didn't want to talk to others and then have to explain what had happened if no baby materialised. "And I don't understand how I can crave marmite like there's no tomorrow but one look at an apple and I feel like I will be sick. I'm sick every morning, anyway. I wake up on the verge of vomiting, go and be sick, and then I'm fine for the rest of the-" Kate stopped, suddenly realised she was babbling. Caroline was smiling. "…Will you come and pick me up tomorrow morning so I can get my car sorted before school?"

"Yep."

Kate nodded her thanks, a small smile gracing her lips.

* * *

Caroline barely slept that night, so eager to get to Kate's in the morning, so eager to do the right thing now she'd been given what she hoped was a second chance. She'd debated taking Kate breakfast, but worried she might pick wrong she showed up empty handed at 7 on the dot and knocked on the door. It was yanked open a moment later, and all she saw of Kate was her retreating back still clad in a dressing gown.

"I won't be a minute." Kate called, leaving Caroline to make her way into the home alone, shutting the door softly and wondering if she should sit or stand or offer to make something for breakfast.

Eventually she decided to perch on the arm of the couch, hands clasped in her lap. Then worried Kate may take this to mean she was eager to leave, she sat instead on the couch, resting back in an attempt to feign indifference to the time. Finally, after half an hour, she stood warily and walked to the bottom of the stairs. "Kate? Would you like me to make you something for breakfast?" No reply. "Kate?" She couldn't hear the shower. One creaky step at a time, Caroline made her way up the stairs and walked towards the bedroom. And there Kate was. On the bed, fast asleep and still in her dressing gown.

Allowing herself to smile, Caroline pulled on the bed covers and then rested them over Kate before grabbing the pen and paper she always kept by the side of the bed.

* * *

Caroline was just leaving a meeting at midday when a message flashed up on her phone. Inside was a photo of Kate still in bed, a sleepy smile on her face. The only words in the message were a simple 'Thank you'.

Smiling to herself, so glad she'd done the right thing for once, Caroline replied, 'Any time.'


	77. Green Beans

**A/N: No idea where this came from, but enjoy! I've been rewatching the series and have Caroline on the brain now, so if you've anything you'd like me to write let me know!**

* * *

"Mum's in a mood." Was Lawrence's greeting as he walked into the house one cold afternoon.

"Why?" Kate looked up from where she was sat on the floor with Flora.

"Lawwy, look!" Flora tried to hold up the structure she was making from blocks, but it broke as soon as she lifted it, and she grinned at her brother. "Oops!"

"Oops!" Lawrence responded, reaching down to ruffle her hair. "Are there any crisps?"

"There might be. Why is Caroline in a mood?"

Lawrence shrugged, dropping his school bag before approaching the pantry. "If there aren't any crisps, can I have some money to go and get some?"

"If there's any money in your bank account." Kate responded, pushing herself up to go and glance out the window. "Why is she just sitting in her car?"

"Probably considering gassing herself. Can I have some money if I take Flora to the park on the way to get the crisps?"

Kate sighed, looking at Flora who had already jumped up and run to her gum boots. "Okay."

* * *

Kate waited patiently inside the house for Caroline to come in, but after a quarter of an hour she finally ventured outside, pulling her cardigan more tightly around her before opening the car door. "Caroline?"

"Do you think it would be very, very bad of me to kill Gavin?" Caroline asked without lifting her head from the headrest or opening her eyes.

"I think some people would thank you for it, but I think perhaps it would be better not to." Kate reached in and unclasped the seatbelt. "Why don't you come inside into the warm."

"Aren't you going to ask me what he's done?" Caroline asked wearily as she climbed from the car.

"I can't say I really care."

Caroline looked at her wife now, a smile pulling slowly at her lips. "Well, thank you very much for being so supportive."

"You're very welcome, Caroline. Come inside." Kate tugged on her wife's coat, relieved when she finally followed her inside. "Lawrence has taken Flora to the park." She offered as she slid the coat from the blonde's shoulders.

"Oh, I see. Your lack of interest is making complete sense now." Caroline nodded, stepping out of her shoes when Kate indicated. "How long do you think we've got?"

"Twenty minutes, if we're lucky. No stockings today, Caroline?"

"Serendipitous. I knew subconciously you'd jump my bones as soon as I made it through the door."

* * *

Several hours later the family were sat around the dinner table, Lawrence forking up his green beans and putting them on Flora's high chair tray. "What was pissing you off earlier, Ma?"

"Don't think I haven't noticed what you're doing, Lawrence." Caroline offered without looking up.

"She likes green beans! Don't you, Flora?"

"Gween bees!" Flora responded, taking a fistful to put in her mouth.

"So?"

"So, what?" Caroline asked, smiling at her daughter.

"Why were you in a mood on the way home?"

"I wasn't in a mood."

"Yes, you were."

"…Well, I can't remember."

"Something to do with Gavin." Kate supplied, putting more green beans on Lawrence's plate when he wasn't looking, smirking to herself when he looked down and was confused to find despite all he'd given his sister, his plate was still at least half green beans.

Caroline thought for a moment, then gave a shrug. "I've no idea what it was."

"Something must have happened between getting home and now, then, because you were definitely in a mood."

Caroline caught Kate's eye with a smile and Kate smiled back. "Well, perhaps it was you taking your sister out. If you did it more often I might be even more cheerful!"

"No, I don't like you cheerful any more than I like you in a mood." Lawrence responded, reluctantly eating a forkful of green beans.

"Thanks very much." His mother replied sarcastically. "Another serving of green beans, Lawrence, darling?"


	78. Paris

A/N: For the guest reviewer- Another storyline when Caroline surprises Kate with a long weekend in Paris!

Probably not quite what you were expecting, but it's what came to mind!

* * *

Sometimes Caroline found herself wandering the empty halls of her school during class time listening the voices of the teachers ring out. Her favourite, of course, was the language department. If she was having a tough day, she would stay a while besides Kate's classroom listening to her voice, the way she managed to make French sound so interesting, the way she had the students so eager to learn so they could sound just like her.

It was this that made Caroline pause outside the classroom one rainy Wednesday. Kate's usual singsong voice sounded flat, and she could already hear from where she stood that the usual attentive students were finding it difficult to concentrate. Stepping forward, Caroline hovered just beside the doorway where she was able to see Kate. Usually the teacher would be striding around gesturing, but today she was sat behind her desk. Caroline rested her head on the doorframe for a moment, studying her, and sensing eyes on her, Kate lifted her head. When their eyes met, Caroline offered a gentle smile, mouthing 'Are you alright?'. Kate's only response was a faint smile and a nod of her head.

Caroline was still thinking about that moment when she climbed from her jeep at the end of the day. Had something happened? She couldn't think of anything, and Kate hadn't mentioned a thing to her. She'd seemed okay that morning, if a little quiet.

"Where's Kate?"

"Oh, hello mother, how are you." Celia offered sarcastically as her daughter walked through the front door. "She's gone upstairs for a nap, and I've offered to look after our little Flora for a while."

Frowning in the direction of the bedroom, Caroline slipped her coat and shoes off, placed her bag on the coat rack and then headed for the stairs, detouring only briefly to drop a kiss to Flora's head as the girl reached for her.

In the bedroom she found Kate curled on her side with her eyes shut, though it was immediately obvious she wasn't asleep. Walking in, Caroline sat softly on the edge of the bed and ran a hand up and down Kate's arm. "Kate?"

Her eyes flickered open to look up at Caroline, but this time she couldn't even muster a small smile.

"What's the matter?"

"I don't know." Was all Kate could reply miserably.

"Do you think it could be to do with your dad?" Caroline stroked Kate's cheek, sure she'd hit the nail on the head when Kate's eyes filled with tears.

"I don't want to be a French teacher anymore, Caroline."

"Yes, you do. It's just that at the moment it's making you think of him, because it was your special place to go to with your dad, wasn't it." Caroline brushed away some of Kate's tears. Her wife had barely cried when her father had died a few weeks previously.

Kate nodded, shutting her eyes again before wriggling a little so her head rested on Caroline's lap, sniffing as the blonde began to rake fingers gently through her hair. "He loved France."

"I remember when I visited him, he had photos everywhere, and he told me all about the time he'd taken his little girl to see the Eiffel Tower for the first time. He said she was too scared to climb up it herself, but she let him carry her to the top, because she trusted he would keep her safe. And once they got to the top, she was just as much in love with the country as he was."

Kate gave a quiet sob into Caroline's skirt, then a louder one. Soon she was clinging to her wife like her life depended on it, sobs wracking her body.

* * *

 _One mother later_

* * *

"Why were you up so early?" Kate asked as she approached Caroline behind and wrapped arms over her shoulders, reaching for the coffee mug in her hands hopefully.

Moving the cup away, Caroline indicated to the freshly made one on the counter. "I went out to get fresh croissants from that new French bakery for breakfast."

"Ooh, what's the occasion?" Kate smiled, biting into a still warm, buttery pastry before giving her wife a greasy kiss.

"I have a favour to ask you."

"What sort of favour?" Kate grinned, her fingers already reaching for Caroline's shirt buttons.

"Not that sort of favour, Miss McKenzie." Caroline smiled, taking Kate's hand to hold between her own. "I wanted to ask if you'll come to Paris with me and show me all the special places you and your dad used to talk about." Caroline had been planning this all month, and the moment she saw the tears begin to shine in Kate's eyes, she wondered if she'd made a mistake thinking she'd appreciate something like that. "It's okay to say no, I just thought…well, I thought it might help you remember why you both loved France so much. And I thought perhaps, if you wanted to, we could scatter his ashes. I've managed to get a permit to do it from the tower. If you want to."

"Caroline-"

"Flora's awake." Lawrence barged into the kitchen and turned the radio on.

Caroline tore her eyes away from Kate to look at her son. "And you didn't bring her down with you?"

"She's got a dirty nappy." He shrugged. He liked his sister, but not enough to change her nappy. "Why is Kate crying?"

Caroline's eyes moved back to Kate to find silent tears streaming down her face. She'd done the wrong thing. "It's fine, Kate. It was just an idea. We don't have to go!"

"When?" Kate whispered.

"…I booked for next weekend. It's a long weekend."

"Booked what?" Lawrence questioned.

A smile began to pull at Kate's lips, and a second later she was hugging Caroline tightly, dropping kisses to every spot she could reach.

"What's going on?!" Lawrence questioned.

Neither woman gave a reply as Kate let out a happy laugh and then kissed his mother on the mouth.

Rolling his eyes, Lawrence left the room. He'd rather change his sisters nappy than watch that.

* * *

Caroline wasn't quite sure what she'd expected from Paris, but the trip did everything it needed to and more. There were tears, but there were even more smiles and laughs and stories. The Kate who'd grown quiet and withdrawn was suddenly back to teasing her wife, to remembering the happy times with her father and not the sad ones.

On the train ride back, Kate gazed at Caroline for a long time from her seat opposite, watching the way she stroked an exhausted Flora's hair and spoke quietly to her until the little girl was asleep, a smile on her lips the whole time.

Caroline's eyes lifted to Kate when the brunette swapped seats suddenly, moving to the one beside her wife so she could curl up against her and rest her head on Caroline's shoulder. "Caroline."

"Mmm?"

"Je t'aime tellement que parfois ma poitrine me fait mal."

Caroline smiled at the flair that was suddenly back in her wife's voice. "I can't say my french teacher was as good as you. Something about loving potatoes?"

"Mm, that's it, Mrs Potato head." Kate laughed softly.

"What did you say?"

"Perhaps I'd better help you improve your french, Caroline."

"I've been told i'm a very cunning linguist."

"Mm. Tu es très bien avec ta langue, Caroline."

"..I think you might be making fun of me, Katherine."

"Me? Never. Another croissant?"


	79. 1st Christmas

They were sat in companionable silence in front of the fire when Gillian asked. Caroline almost spat out her wine. It was a good wine, however, so she swallowed instead.

"I beg your pardon?!"

Gillian gave a shrug. "I just wondered. Whenever I look at a man, the first thing I usually notice is his bum."

"You notice the bum of men standing facing you?"

"Well…no. But it's what I like. I could never sleep with a man with no bum. Or a flabby one. Nothing worse on a man." Gillian wrinkled her nose and took another sip of wine.

"Well that tells me more about Robbie than I ever wanted to know." Caroline mumbled into her glass.

"Don't forget I slept with your husband as well."

Caroline snorted. "Ex-husband. And you don't have to remind me about his arse, because he was forever parading it in the bedroom and wanting me to tell him how nice it was."

Gillian laughed loudly, then shushed herself and chuckled instead. "That's John. Now, answer the question."

"What was the question?"

"You know what it was!"

Caroline sighed, taking another sip of wine. "I suppose…well, I supposed if forced to pick one thing, I would say breasts."

"On Kate or on any woman? What do you think of mine?"

"I'm not answering that!" Caroline cried indignantly, causing Gillian to laugh and shush her. "You asked me about Kate, so I'm answering about Kate!"

"Ok, okay! Relax! First thing I noticed about her was the love-bite on her neck."

Caroline turned to glare at her step-sister, but they soon dissolved into giggles and were still sat together laughing softly when Kate returned downstairs from putting Flora to sleep.

"What's the joke?"

"Nothing. Come and sit with me." Caroline reached out a hand, pulling Kate down to sit at her side.

"She wants to look at your cleavage." Gillian giggled, earning an elbow in the ribs.

"You two have had far too much to drink." Kate laughed, lifting an arm so Caroline could snuggle against her before twining her fingers through blonde locks, earning a happy hum.

"We need it having to spend Christmas with Celia."

"Oi!" Caroline lifted her head indignantly. "I may be allowed to talk badly of her, but you're not!"

"Settle down, tiger." Gillian laughed, going to take another sip of her wine, dismayed to find the glass was empty.

"Did my baby get to sleep okay?" Caroline asked Kate, snuggling a little closer to her.

"Yes, your baby did." Kate smiled, dropping a kiss to Caroline's hair as she gave another appreciative hum.

"It's her first Christmas this year, isn't it?" Gillian stood on wobbly legs. "What did you get her, Caz? I bet it's something like…a miniature desk? A workbook for her alphabet? No, don't tell me! A wooden chemistry set!"

Caroline stuck her bottom lip out indignantly. "If you must know, I set up a trust fund for her."

As Gillian laughed, crying "Classic Caroline!", Kate pulled away to look down at her wife. "Did you?"

"I did the same for the boys." Caroline shrugged, trying to nestle impossibly closer.

Kate smiled to herself, returning to run her fingers through Caroline's hair. When Gillian joined them with another bottle of wine and reached out for Caroline's glass, kate moved to stop her. "I think it's time we all went to bed. Wouldn't want us to still be down here when santa comes."

As Caroline chuckled and began to push herself up, Gillian looked astounded. "She…she doesn't really believe in him, does she Caroline?"

Caroline was too busy attempting to give Kate another hickey to answer.

"Blimey." Gillian mumbled to herself as she sat back down. "One more glass, then bed."

Half way up the stairs, Caroline pulled away suddenly, "I did get her a wooden chemistry set, too. How did Gillian guess?!"

Kate laughed quietly, pushing her wife up the rest of the stairs.


	80. In sickness and In health

**A/N: Would anyone be interested in writing a fic with me about Caroline and Kate meeting again a few years in the future because they didn't reunite at Celia's wedding? I have a really good idea for it, but it would be a few chapters long and I don't know that I can keep myself motivated for that long!**

* * *

Caroline so often found herself marvelling about the difference between her marriages these days. Exactly three years married to Kate and she still found herself drawn to the brunette, wanting to be with her whenever she could, and yet with John she'd chosen to spend their 3 year anniversary shopping with her mother on the other side of the country instead of with him.

Others had noticed the difference, too. Beverley most of all, for Caroline spent less time in her office, preferring instead to venture out in the hope of seeing her wife. In fact, it was this that lead her to clear her head outside this lunchtime. It was a lovely day, the sun was warm, and Caroline had used this as an excuse, though she saw the twinkle in Beverley's eye that said she knew Kate was on yard duty.

She smiled politely at the children who dared say hello, squinting against the sun in the hope of at least catching sight of Kate before she was forced to venture back into her office.

If she'd started off near block A, and it was ten minutes in, she should be about-

Caroline jumped when nimble fingers suddenly pinched her backside.

A second later Kate appeared in front of her with a grin. "Hi."

"I hope no one saw that." Caroline glanced behind them warily.

"I checked the coast was clear, Doctor. What are you doing out of your cave?"

She might still feel like she had to hide things from others, but from Kate? Not anymore. "I was hoping to catch sight of you."

"Oh, and you got to talk to me as well. You're very lucky, aren't you?" Kate grinned, falling in to step beside her wife.

"Very. You're making me nervous, why are you so happy?"

"It's Friday!"

"It's Friday once a week." Caroline pointed out, arm brushing against Kate's as she inched a little closer, as close as they could get on school grounds.

"Very astute of you, Caroline." Kate took off her sunglasses and carefully placed them on her wife's face.

"Thank you, I try." Caroline offered as she adjusted the sunglasses. "Are you going to answer my question at all?"

"Probably not, no. I'd better get on. I'll see you at 4?"

"You're awfully peculiar, Kate."

"Thank you, Caroline."

As Kate sped off, Caroline smiled happily to herself and slipped back inside the building to catch up on paperwork.

* * *

At four pm on the dot, Caroline rested against the doorframe of Kate's classroom and looked at the woman flicking through papers on the desk. "It's 4pm."

A smile pulled at Kate's lips, though she didn't look up. "I recall a few years ago it was me always coming to your door to pull you away from work."

"How times change." Caroline sat on the edge of the desk and studied the work on the blackboard.

"I'm almost done." Kate advised, picking up the last of the test papers.

"Are you going to tell me why you were so giddy earlier?"

"William has decided to come home for the weekend, and he offered to look after Flora if we wanted to go somewhere just the two of us."

"And we do so want to go somewhere just the two of us." Caroline moaned.

"I know. So I said yes please, and then I booked somewhere. I did this really difficult thing of asking for one room for two women, and-"

Smiling, Caroline tapped Kate's chair with her foot. "you're never going to let me forget that, are you?"

"Probably not. Did you know that Frank from 7D can't even spell his own last name yet? Look!" Kate brandished the paper in Caroline's face, too close for her to read.

"I'm not surprised. His mother still does most of his homework for him. She told me he needs the extra time to play before he gets too grown up. I've called her in three times already and it's only a month into the school year."

"Imagine having an overbearing mother."

"I don't need to imagine!"

Kate laughed softly, taking the paper back to finish correcting it. "5 minutes. I'll meet you by the car."

* * *

Instead of being on some huge luxurious hotel bed, at 11pm that night Caroline found herself lying on the couch with a snivelling toddler on her chest, Frozen playing on a loop on the TV.

"Not entirely what we'd hoped for." Kate sighed as she took one sick bowl from beside the couch and replaced it with a fresh one before she bent down to kiss Caroline's forehead and then her daughter's. "Do you want me to try taking her again?"

"No, it's okay." Caroline smiled up at her wife.

"I'll go and check on Lawrence, he was asleep last time I looked in, and then I'll come back and we can watch a movie or something." Kate promised. "She can have more calpol soon, and then we can try putting her to bed again."

"I don't mind. It's nice."

"Having a toddler vomit on you?"

"Having someone find me a comfort when they're sick. You don't count, because you never get- Kate?" Caroline lifted head just in time to see Kate be sick in the bowl she was holding. "Okay. It's okay. Come and sit down." Flora held close, Caroline swapped places with Kate. "I'll get you a glass of water."

An hour later Flora was now in bed asleep, but Caroline found herself still on the couch with a warm body still partly spread over her. "Kate? Kate, I think it's time for bed." Caroline whispered, rubbing her hand up and down Kate's arm. "Kate?"

"Few more minutes." Kate mumbled, snuggling closer.

Caroline smiled at the ceiling.


	81. Friendship

"Oh! Are you having a party?" Celia questioned one afternoon when she sauntered into the house to find Caroline arranging food on a platter.

"I'm just having some friends over to catch up on things." Caroline responded without looking up.

"You haven't any friends!"

"Oh, thank you very much. Is there something you wanted?"

"…Which friends? One's from university? Not that horrid couple you and John used to have over who had that child with a silly name. Tarzan?"

"It was Themis, which you told them was a lovely name, and anyway it's not them. They moved to Scotland." Caroline finished placing her food and rushed it over to the table in the lounge, wondering where to place it so it didn't seem like she'd put as much effort in as she had.

"Who, then? I suppose Kate is coming."

"Yes, Kate is invited. You, however, are not, and they'll be arriving soon, so-" Caroline looked expectantly towards the back door.

"…I've just come to borrow a few things from the pantry. I won't get in your way."

Before Caroline had the chance to argue, the front doorbell rang and she rushed towards it in a panic. Should she take her apron off? She should. Untied and tossed to the side. Then, checking her hands for any remnants of flour, she opened the door. "He…oh, it's you."

"Thank you very much for such a lovely welcome, Caroline!" Kate enthused, stepping into the house and out of the blustering wind. "I've brought the wine, as instructed."

Caroline let out an apologetic huff as she glanced down the drive and then shut the door. "Sorry. I'm nervous."

"I don't know why. They're your friends, aren't they?" Kate brushed some flour from Caroline's cheek with her free hand and then tidied her hair a little more.

"I've barely seen them for years, and they see each other every few months. What if we have nothing at all to talk about?" Caroline took the wine bottles only to discard them on the seat by the door so she could move forward to hug Kate, resting her forehead against Kate's neck in an attempt to find comfort. It was something she'd only been doing in the last couple of weeks and something which Kate was damned if she'd mention in case Caroline stopped doing it. "Do you think there's time to call the whole thing off?"

"Possibly not, given that you said 2 and it's 3 minutes to. You must have had something to talk about when you were first friends? Talk about that, if you can't think of anything else. Or perhaps talk about your gorgeous girlfriend, soon to be wife, and- what?" Kate stopped when Caroline pulled back, suddenly looking panicked. "You have told them about me, Caroline?"

"Yes! No! No, it's not that. I've just remembered I meant to go out for milk earlier, but then the bread came out early and I wanted to get the second loaf in, and.."

As Caroline continued to reel off what had happened in the last hour, Kate thought of the icy wind outside. "…Would you like me to go and get some milk?"

"You wouldn't mind?"

"You owe me. Big, big time. Sending a pregnant woman out into the Antarctic twice in one day."

"I promise I'll warm you up later." Was Caroline's parting offering as Celia rolled her eyes in the kitchen doorway and returned to the pantry.

* * *

Three hours and nearly a whole bottle of wine to herself later, Caroline wondered just quite what she'd been so worried about. These women were her friends, they could talk about anything together! They'd talked of the children, of family, of work, of annoying colleagues. Caroline hadn't realised quite how relaxed she was getting, however, until there was a lull in conversation.

"It really is lovely seeing you so relaxed, Caroline. You were so uptight when you were with John."

Kate flinched as she felt Caroline tense at the words. "I wouldn't say uptight is the right word. I've never found Caroline uptight. Tense, perhaps. But then we've all met John." Kate offered with a friendly smile, earning a laugh from the women gathered. They all knew what he'd been like. The brunette was well aware, however, that Caroline felt anyone criticizing John was criticizing her, and added, "He's a great father, though. And I don't know if you've ever read his first book, but it was very good."

"You've read it?" Caroline turned to her girlfriend, astonished.

"It was on the bookshelf." Kate gave a half shrug, smiling when Caroline's eyes lit up with love and she inched invisibly closer, her eyes dropping to Kate's lips a second before her cheeks grew red and she looked away. She was still Caroline, after all. No PDAs allowed.

As the conversation carried on to safer subjects, Kate reached out and squeezed Caroline's hand warmly, glad when the blonde took it between her own to rest on her lap.

* * *

"Lady Muck gone up to bed?"

Kate cursed herself for not locking the back door, and was even more dismayed to see Celia sit on the couch and make herself comfortable. "She's gone for a bath."

"It's probably about time you went home, isn't it? I was always in bed by 9 when I was pregnant. It was exhausting!"

"I'm staying over, Celia. I would have thought that was evident, given I'm wearing pyjamas."

If Celia picked up on Kate's tone, she didn't let on. "How long do you think Caroline will be? Only I wanted to ask her how it went with her friends."

"I've no idea. It went very well."

"And there was no animosity about…anything?" Celia purposefully focused on the flower display.

Kate bit back her initial retort and instead managed a tight, "No."

"Well…I'm glad. She stopped going out with her friends so much after the kids, and then there was her job, and then John. Not too much time for socialising, I suppose. Perhaps that's why she likes having you around the place. It's like having a friend on tap."

Kate drew in a breath and then let it out slowly. "Yes, Celia. We're very good friends."

"Who're very good friends?" Caroline asked as she walked into the room towel drying her hair. "Bit late for you to be out, isn't it, mum?"

"I was just telling Kate how you lost a few friends what with the kids, John and your job. I was saying it's nice to have a friend like her around all the time."

Determined not to let her mother ruin her good mood, Caroline glanced at Kate with a smile. "Oh yes, Kate and I are _very_ good friends."

Kate smiled, lowering her eyes as she felt her cheeks grow warm. "I think I might go up to bed."

"Perhaps we can have a pillow fight and braid each other's hair." Caroline offered lightly as Kate passed her.

"Oh, I know you're making fun of me." Celia remarked as she stood up. "But what else am I supposed to call you? You're not teenagers so girlfriends sounds odd, partners sounds entirely too formal. And you are friends, aren't you?"

Her face softening, Caroline stilled her towel. "Yes, mum. We are friends. I'll see you in the morning." She kissed her mother on the cheek.

"What's tomorrow morning?"

"You said you'd take Lawrence to school!"

"Aren't you going that way?"

"I'm going with Kate to her ultrasound. You remember Kate? Kate, my lover?"

"Oh, not lover. That sounds so crass."

"Paramour?"

"Too French."

"It's not French. Kate, is Paramour French?" Caroline called up the stairs.

Celia hushed her, walking towards the back door. "I'm going, I'm going. I'll be here in the morning."

"Night, mum." Caroline smiled.


	82. Ghosts

"And I said don't be so mean! And she said…are you listening Mama?" Flora turned her head as far as she could while her little hands continued to grip on to the swing rope as Caroline pushed her again.

"Yes, I'm listening. What did she say?" Caroline asked, glancing quickly at her watch before she pushed the swing again.

"SHE said that she wasn't being mean. But she was, wasn't she? She was being mean." Flora tried to turn again, and worried she'd fall off, Caroline stopped the swing and helped her jump off.

"Well, it wasn't very nice to take his special toy without asking." Caroline agreed. An hour ago she'd been discussing a multimillion dollar deal on the phone, and now she was knee deep in kindergarten drama. "And I'm very proud of you for standing up for Jackson."

"Proud enough to get me an ice-cream?" Flora asked innocently.

"Oh, I knew you were angling for something, you cheeky young lady!" Caroline darted after her daughter, causing a squeal of laughter. "Okay, but you have to promise to eat all your dinner later. Even the carrots!"

"I promise!"

* * *

"Lawwy said I can watch rugby with him on the weekend!" Flora declared suddenly, a mouth full of chocolate ice-cream.

"Did he?" Caroline asked distractedly, looking at her phone. Looking at it until Flora suddenly stuck her sticky face in front of it and grinned up at her, that is. Smiling back, Caroline slid her phone back into her bag. "I thought you didn't like rugby."

"Changed my mind." Flora shrugged, fishing the phone back out so she could take a selfie. Caroline tried not to cringe at the thought of sticky prints all over her phone.

"You told me that rugby smelled of dog poo last weekend, if I remember correctly." Caroline took the phone back, taking a photo with her daughter and earning a giggle for a funny face before she wiped the phone discreetly and put it back into her bag.

Flora opened her mouth to reply, spoon half way to her mouth, when she caught sight of something out the window. And then suddenly it wasn't just Caroline's phone that was sticky but her shirt too as Flora clambered onto her lap and hid her face. "What's the matter?" Caroline turned to look the way her daughter had been facing to find a man staring through the window right at her. "Can I help you?" Caroline mouthed at him, eyebrow raised as she held Flora closer. "It's okay, sweetheart. Just a silly man."

The silly man gave a sudden apologetic smile and slipped into the shop. "I'm so sorry, I didn't mean to scare her. She just…she just looks like my wife. Well, ex-wife. She passed away."

Caroline looked sceptical but was about to offer her condolences when she realised she'd seen this man's face before. Had he been watching them? No. She knew where she knew him from. "Richard?"

The man looked startled, tearing his eyes from Flora finally to look at Caroline. "How do you know my name?"

"I've seen your photo before. I'm Kate's wife. This is our daughter, Flora."

A range of emotions flipped across his face then as his eyes moved from Caroline to Flora and then back again. Finally, he offered the words Caroline almost did earlier. "I'm so sorry for your loss."

"My loss?" Caroline questioned. How did he know about the cat dying that morning? The very reason she'd taken the day off work to be with Flora who had adored her Fluffy.

Richard grew red. "Kate."

Caroline squinted at him a moment before the confusion suddenly cleared from her face. "Kate isn't dead! She's at work. Whatever gave you the idea she died?!"

"She…I heard… an accident…"

"She was hit by a car the day after our wedding, but she's fine, I can assure you. Do you want to sit down?" Caroline pushed Flora's chair out for him with her foot, watching as he sat down with a slump.

* * *

"Oh, hello. You're looking very sticky." Kate smiled as Caroline walked through the front door that afternoon, keeping her hands to herself as she kissed her wife.

"Ice-cream hugs." Caroline provided quietly, Flora asleep on her shoulder. "We have had a big day. The zoo, the park."

"Has she mentioned Fluffy?"

"We talked about him when we saw the lion. I think she understands. Your ex-husband, however, doesn't seem to have quite the same level of understanding about death." Caroline hung her bag up, unwilling to hand Flora over in case Kate got sticky, too.

"Richard?!"

"We met him at the ice-cream place. He noticed Flora and thought she looked just like his ex-wife who died!"

"Why on earth did he think that?!"

"He said you used to email from time to time but he hadn't received anything for the last few years, and then he heard about the accident and assumed the worst. I think I might give this one a bath before dinner."

Kate nodded, following Caroline up the stairs. "Blimey. It's a bit…odd someone thinking I've been dead for years. Was he okay? After you told him?"

"I think he was revived by being force fed some ice-cream by our daughter. I've got his new number in my phone for you, but you might want to use a wet wipe on it first."

"…I wish I'd taken the day off now, this all sounds so much more interesting then GCSE Italian."

"I'm not sure he'd have coped seeing his ex-wife's ghost eating ice-cream." Caroline laughed softly, rubbing her daughter's arm to try and wake her up as Kate turned the bath taps on.

"If only John thought you were dead, he might stop visiting every few months to ask you to take him back." Kate thought out loud.

"That's an idea. We could fake a death scene like the year 10's did. Do you remember Max Johnson wobbling around the stage for about 5 minutes before he actually fell down after being shot?" Caroline laughed, setting Flora down on her feet so she could take her out of her sticky things.

"If you were shot, you'd probably still continue doing your paperwork for at least the rest of the term." Kate laughed, taking the proffered t-shirt.

"You're not going to die are you, Mama?" Flora's sleepy voice suddenly asked.

"Not for a long time yet." Caroline promised.

"Good, because mummy doesn't make sammiches as good as you."

"See, Caroline, I'm always telling you that you have your uses." Kate smiled, hitting her wife's bum on the way out of the room.

Caroline smiled as she set Flora in the bath.


	83. Another Christmas Story

A/N: I'm about to start back at university for my final semester ever (hopefully), so I'm trying to finish all my half written fics. I have everyone's ideas stored as well for future use, but these next few are the ones that have been hanging around haunting me!

Also, if anyone is in Melbourne Australia, PM me and help me with my uni work if you have any spare time, I beg you!

* * *

"I don't see what the problem is." Gillian gave a shrug, putting another pack of biscuits into her trolley.

"No, you wouldn't."

"What's that supposed to mean?!" Gillian stopped her trolley, causing Caroline to bump into her.

"Oh, I didn't mean it rudely! I just meant that you're better with people just...popping in. You can talk to anyone and make them feel at home. I just make people sit to attention and feel uncomfortable until they can leave, having been there just long enough to be polite." Caroline sighed, surveying the dog food until she realised that she didn't actually have a dog.

"You didn't think of this earlier?"

"I was caught up in other things. And besides, it was never like this with John. We had dinner with my mother one year, and his the next. There was none of this mass Christmas dinner." Caroline sighed again, moving on to the dairy section.

"It'll be alright. It's like one of those TV shows about those huge blended families!" Gillian tried to sound enthusiastic.

"Yes, half of whom I barely know."

"Well, at least with so many people your freezing house is bound to be warmer."

It was Caroline who stopped her trolley this time, turning to glare at Gillian who responded with a weak smile. "You don't have to come, you know. You can stay at home, if you'd like."

"And miss you being awkward? That's going to make my Christmas, that is."

* * *

"Caroline, stop. We've got all morning to prep things." Kate attempted, pulling her dressing gown a little tighter. "Come to bed."

"Things need to be perfect. It's Christmas lunch, everyone will want it perfect!"

"If it's my family you're worried about, they'd be just as happy with a take away. They just want to meet you."

"Oh, well, that's reduced my anxiety, then." Caroline offered sarcastically as she began to vigorously wipe down the kitchen table for the second time.

"Caroline." Kate attempted again with a sigh, reaching out to capture her hand so she could tug it gently. "Please. Come to bed. This is our first Christmas together in our own home, I don't care about turkey or stuffing or perfectly cooked potatoes, I just care about making memories with you."

"…I'll just double check the oven is still working and cut up a few more potatoes, and then-" Caroline stopped abruptly, watching mesmerised as Kate stepped closer, moving Caroline's hand under her dressing gown to the warmth of her stomach, then the heavy swell of her breast.

"Come to bed, Caroline. I want to make love."

"…If everything goes wrong tomorrow, it'll be your fault." Caroline pointed out, though she allowed herself to be drawn from the room.

"I'll accept that." Kate replied, smiling as Caroline pushed her against the doorframe and captured her lips.

* * *

"What are you doing here?" Caroline questioned at 6am the next morning when she opened her front door to find a shivering Gillian on her step.

"Merry Christmas to you, too! I've come to help you out so you're not moaning all day." Gillian slipped inside and pulled off her coat. "Where do you need me?"

"I could kiss you right now!" Caroline smiled.

"Don't want to get on Kate's wrong side just yet, not before she's given me a present." Gillian replied with a grin. "And I'm not peeling potatoes until I've got a warm cup of tea on the go, so get to it."

* * *

When Gillian sidled up to Caroline a few hours later she wore a sly grin on her face. "See, not so bad is it?"

"No, not if you forget about the burnt bread, the broken chair I made Kate's mother sit on, the fact her ancient aunt keeps loudly referring to Kate's husband Carl McKenzie-Dawson and wondering when he'll show up, or the fact I burst into tears over the brussell sprouts." Caroline agreed.

Gillian lifted her hand for a moment to hide her grin, just managing it before she tried a light, "Still, Kate's loving it. And It's only this year, she said, then they'll all be spread out again."

Caroline gave a miserable sigh.

"…And I guess it's nice that Flora doesn't seem to like any of them either." Gillian gestured to where a sullen Flora sat with an expression exactly matching Caroline's right beside her.

Caroline glanced at her daughter, then wrapped an arm around her, dropping a kiss to her hair. "We'll replace the rocking horse, darling. She didn't mean to break it."

"Great Aunty Josie smells like cat wee." Flora observed.

Caroline and Gillian made eye contact and then looked away, both smirking.

* * *

"Are you happy?" Caroline asked when, later still, the house was finally quiet and she could curl up with her wife in front of the fire.

"So very, very happy." Kate replied with a happy sigh. "Happy that I've remembered how much I hated those family Christmases when everyone was around and wished never to have one again."

Caroline let out a laugh. "Oh, I'm glad you've remembered because if you were planning on it happening again I was going to suggest Flora and I go elsewhere for the day."

"You didn't… _hate_ them though, did you?" Kate turned her head.

"Not hate, no. They're just…"

"Loud. Obnoxious. Have no manners."

"Talking about me again?" Gillian walked in holding three wine glasses precariously.

"Always. No other topic of conversation in this house. You're so fascinating." Caroline sat up a little to accept her glass.

"Thanks, sis. Glad I spat in your drink now."

"…You didn't?"

"Didn't I?"

Caroline stared hard at her step sister for a moment, then look a long swig of her wine. "Oh, who bloody cares. I need to get drunk enough to forget about today."

"It wasn't that bad!" Kate protested.

"No, sorry, you're right." Caroline smiled. When Kate looked away, she turned to Gillian and both of them mouthed, "It bloody was" before they had to look away lest they laugh and have to explain themselves.

It may not have been the type of Christmas that Caroline was used to, but at least it had been entertaining.


	84. A happy future

"I think…no, I know, that this is absolutely the happiest moment of my life." Caroline sighed.

Kate smiled, nestling her nose into Caroline's neck. "Really?"

"mm-hmm. I thought it would be earlier. Did I mention I married the love of my life earlier today?" Caroline turned her head with a smile.

"Once or twice." Kate smiled back, kissing her wife softly once, then again. "But it wasn't?"

"Well, It was definitely up there." Caroline replied before stealing one more kiss. "But there were so many things to think about and remember, weren't there? But now, it's just the two…well, three of us and the room is toasty warm, and I can feel our baby wriggling about, and I just think that this is the happiest I have ever been, because I'm here with you, which is where I should have been my whole life."

"…I would move to kiss you again, but I think all my bones have turned to jelly." Kate groaned, smiling when Caroline wriggled down eagerly until they were nose to nose. "Hello."

"Hi." Caroline smiled back.

"This is almost my happiest moment, too." Kate offered in a teasing voice.

"almost?" Caroline questioned, her lower lip poking out. "What can I do to make it the happiest, hmm? Let me guess…some more cake?"

"Oh, now you're talking!"

Grinning, Caroline kissed Kate's nose and then slipped from the bed, pulling on her dressing gown.

* * *

Despite both women being thoroughly exhausted, two hours and three more slices of cake later, they were still awake, kissing one another sleepily.

"Say it again." Caroline urged.

"Kate and Caroline McKenzie-Dawson." Kate replied against her wife's lips, their teeth banging softly when both women smiled. "We should sleep now."

"Mm, we should." Caroline nodded, capturing her wife's lips again.

* * *

"Do you know what time it is?"

"Good morning, mother. How lovely to see you." Caroline spoke dryly, sitting down at the kitchen bench with a sigh.

"It's almost afternoon, now. I've had to drive Angus and Lawrence over to Angus' house so they could make their trip on time!"

"I thought Angus' father was coming to pick them up." Caroline toyed with the coffee filter for a moment before deciding she'd prefer to go out to a café and order some instead.

"He was going to, but there was a change of plans and Lawrence was too scared to wake you up and ask for your help. Imagine a son being too scared to go into his mother's room!"

Caroline sighed and pushed herself up from the stool. "He knows he can call my mobile if he doesn't want to come in. Is there something you wanted?"

Celia let out a huff, studying her daughter for a moment before speaking. "I thought you might want to go to lunch with Alan and I."

"Is Kate invited?" When Caroline received no reply, she gave a weary nod. "Then no, thank you. I think I might go back to bed."

"It's almost midday!"

"I didn't get much sleep last night."

"Oh, I don't want to know!"

"Don't you, mother? Because I seem to recall we had a similar discussion about your sex life in this very kitchen!" Caroline snapped.

Kate, who had been tying up her dressing gown as she walked into the room, stilled and hoped she hadn't been noticed.

"That's not the same."

"I don't see why."

"Well, because…because-"

"You know what's really sad? I was so happy that you actually showed up yesterday. I was sure you wouldn't but Kate was adamant that you would. And when you did I could have cried with happiness. But then you just sat there with a sour look on your face the whole time, like you'd rather be anywhere else! And you know what? I wish you'd been somewhere else, too. I wish you'd been somewhere else and never shown your face here again!"

As Celia paled, Caroline marched from the room, pausing only briefly to lift her eyes to Kate who could see the tears swimming in them.

Kate hesitated, looked after Caroline and then walked into the kitchen. "…I'll make you a cup of tea, Celia. Sit down."

Celia sat down dutifully, eyes still wide.

"…She didn't mean it."

"She did." Celia offered quietly.

"…She'll apologise once she's calmed down. You know what Caroline is like on little sleep."

"I don't think she will."

Kate, unsure what else to say, turned towards the kettle and willed it to boil faster.

* * *

"Don't." Caroline offered as soon as Kate re-entered their bedroom a short time later. "Don't try and defend her."

Kate placed the cup of tea she held down on the dresser and hesitantly walked towards her wife who now stood staring out into the spring day that had blossomed outside. When her reflection appeared in the glass, Caroline's eyes drifted to hers. Kate could see the anger and hurt in them, the usual clear blue muddied with tears. "Caroline-"

Caroline shook her head, returning her eyes to the tree outside.

Her back protesting, Kate rested her bum down on the windowsill, reaching out for one of the blonde's hands. "You know how you said last night in bed was the happiest you'd ever felt?"

Caroline gave a sniff in reply.

"Well, it's still that moment now. Just you and me and the baby. Your boys are safe and happy, we are married. Your mother is unhappy with how her life has unfolded, and she's taking it out on you. I know that's unfair and I know it's upsetting, but don't let it turn you into her. Don't be unhappy. Please. You're surrounded by love and happiness and a happy future with me and with your children. Focus on that."

Caroline gave another sniff, but this time looked towards Kate, her free hand moving to touch Kate's bump gently. "Well…it's not quite as happy as last night, because you're still clothed."

Kate laughed, reaching out to brush away a stray tear from her wife's cheek. "Take me out and feed me, and then I'll get as naked as you want me to."

When Caroline ushered her wife towards the car a short while later, she didn't notice the unhappy face looking out of one of the house windows because she didn't turn and look back. Caroline kept her eyes forward and her heart focused on the future. A happy future.


End file.
